The Big Screen Bulletin 12.29.08: Winding Down

Posted by Chad Webb on 12.29.2008

The last nightmare of 2008 is with "Resident Evil." Also take a look at the box office results, the definite end of VHS, Disney drops Narnia, Expendable updates, A Gilligan adaptation, new DVD releases, new quickees, new trailer ratings, and much more!

Next week be sure to check back to the Big Screen Bulletin for my annual best and worst of the year issue that covers films, posters, music, and more!

Straight to Video Nightmares

Resident Evil: Degeneration







Featuring the Voices of: Alyson Court, Paul Mercier, and Laura Bailey
Directed By: Makoto Kamiya
Written By: Shotaro Suga
DVD Release Date: December 28, 2008
Running Time: 96 minutes
Rated R for bloody violence.

This is the final straight to video nightmare for 2008, and when I start the 2009 archive still remains to be seen since I will be writing about best/worst lists, award contenders, and so forth for the first month or so. I should say that this review will not win me any fans as I would wager many of you are avid gamers and/or followers of the Resident Evil universe. This new effort is entitled Resident Evil: Degeneration, but the story does not take place within the live-action series' at all. Those movies were mediocre zombie/infected flicks. They contain action and eye-catching visuals, but not much else….kind of like the film I am about to review.

This little experiment involves the storylines of the game apparently. "A recent interview with Resident Evil 5 producer Jun Takeuchi, states that the film will show a story for each of the game series characters to show what has happened to them over time." So unlike the live-action offerings, which were accessible to the entire public to a certain degree, Degeneration elects to go a different route, similar to Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, a film I loathe. Basically, this was made for the fans of the game, who so desperately want to see the characters of said game on screen and not those from the Hollywood adaptations. To everyone who is not familiar with the game, this will be dull, poorly constructed, and forgettable.

These events transpire 7 years after the Raccoon City incident where Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy took out the G-Virus and Umbrella Corporation. The virus has been contained until now. Claire finds herself in the middle of Harvardville Airport with friends when some mysterious things occur with Senator Ron Davis traveling through, the WilPharma Company's stocks, and Terra-Save, who is protesting WilPharma actions of late and how they involve terrorism. A plane then crashes into the terminal, and it is pandemonium with zombies everywhere and screaming civilians unable to escape. As they attempt to flee from the airport, other levels of corruption, black market buying, and a rogue warrior with his own G-Virus potentially causing a new apocalypse, are exposed.

The animation is quite sloppy since it is literally a combination of those clips on a video game strewn together for a 96 minute movie. For example, you have the sleek and gorgeous animation of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, the latest technology in Robert Zemeckis' Beowulf, and then this. Truth be told, Degeneration has a handful of scenes that accentuate fancy visuals, but not nearly enough. Most of the film takes place in the dark, and even when it doesn't, the characters faces look unpolished, and the rest lacks sufficient detail.

The majority of the voice work is weak as well. Alyson Court and Paul Mercier are fine I guess, if all you desired were the same voices from the game, but Leon for instance looks and sounds extremely wooden. It is the supporting and minor characters whose voice acting is just beyond horrendous though, like Senator Ron Davis, the young child Rani, and Angela just to name a few. Some of these people were not made to perform for a full length picture. When they do try to express some emotion, it is atrociously exaggerated.

Degeneration is filled with plenty of sequences and plot holes to gripe about. A couple bugged me greatly. The characters seem to survive the most horrific terrorist attacks, explosions, and seemingly inescapable situations with barely a scratch, or in Claire's case, a leg wound that disappears quickly. Yes, this is animation, but one cannot only accept so much ludicrousness. The zombies in this adventure multiply so fast it is mind boggling, and what bothers me is that it would have been impossible for them to do so. The airport goes from 1 to 10 to hundreds of zombies in like 5 minutes. There are also hints at a romance with Leon and Angela, a female authority figure of SRT or something. They gaze into each others' eyes for excessive periods of time and nothing happens.

In its defense, Degeneration is not nearly as confusing as Advent Children, and if you crave this sort of zombie killing, it will satisfy your needs. I appreciated that the plot was not confined to the airport. The characters thankfully explore other terrain, and even some twists go down, which were unexpected. What ultimately causes me to give a "thumbs down" is that the central monster is just so ridiculous to look at. He appears to be a concoction of two teenage boys who were drunk and simply slapped parts together. Degeneration has some exciting action, and some nifty story developments, but the flaws are too much to contain.

Final Rating = 5.0/10.0

The News Bulletin

Puppy Love at the Box Office
Led by 20th Century Fox sleeper hit "Marley & Me," the crowded Christmas box office prospered in a fitting finale to a year that has been full of surprises. "Marley," starring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, grossed an estimated $51.7 million from 3,480 screens for the four-day holiday weekend after breaking the record for best Christmas Day opener. Three day total (Friday-Saturday) was an estimated $37 million, according to Rentrak. Those are some of the best numbers ever for a Christmas release, outside of tentpoles such as the "Lord of the Rings." But "Marley" wasn't the only title fetching golden coin at the B.O.

Paramount's "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and Disney's Adam Sandler comedy "Bedtime Stories" found themselves in a relatively close race. "Benjamin Button," toplining Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, exceeded expectations in grossing an estimated $39 million from 2,988 screens to come in No. 2 for the four days. For the three days, "Button" was beat by "Bedtime Stories," which grossed an estimated $28.1 million to "Button's" $27.2 million. "Bedtime's" four day total was an estimated $38.6 million. And in a victory for United Artists and MGM, Bryan Singer's Tom Cruise starrer "Valkyrie" grossed an estimated $30 million from 2,711 screens for the four days, and $21.5 million for the three days. Pic placed No. 4.

The only soft debut of the sesh was Lionsgate's "The Spirit," which grossed an estimated $10.4 million from 2,509 runs for the four days and $6.5 million for the three. Film came in No. 9. Film business touted the strength and depth of the box office, particularly the record turnout on Christmas Day as five wide releases entered the marketplace. That's on top of holdover holiday releases "Yes Man," from Warner Bros., and Sony's Will Smith drama "Seven Pounds," both of which opened Dec. 19. "Yes Man" placed No. 5 for the long holiday weekend, grossing an estimated $22.4 million for the four days, bringing the comedy's cume of $49.6 million. Coming in No. 6, "Seven Pounds" grossed an estimated $13.4 million for the four days for a total of $39 million. Pic has fallen short of the record success Smith has enjoyed at the box office. On the specialty side, DreamWorks/Paramount Vantage's "Revolutionary Road" boasted a boffo per screen average of $62,000 as it opened Friday in three theaters, grossing an estimated $192,000. Film reunites Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio for the first time since "Titanic."

Gee, what was I thinking? I picked Sandler's family friendly comedy over a film with Rachel from Friends and a dog, because I forgot the public will see anything when it involves dogs. This weekend had one hell of a turn out though. Everyone was at the movies at some point. These new releases pushed a lot of films out of the top 10 that had found permanent rest homes there like Quantum and Bolt. I am amazed that Cruise's Valkyrie gained as much as it did. With negative reviews and a goofy trailer, it should take a significant dip next week. Carrey's and Smith's films took a hit, but not a deep one as they are at #5 and #6 still. Only Defiance opens next week, and it will be limited, so look for Marley & Me to stay on top.






The Final Nail in the VHS Coffin
Pop culture is finally hitting the eject button on the VHS tape, the once-ubiquitous home-video format that will finish this month as a creaky ghost of Christmas past. After three decades of steady if unspectacular service, the spinning wheels of the home-entertainment stalwart are slowing to a halt at retail outlets. On a crisp Friday morning in October, the final truckload of VHS tapes rolled out of a Palm Harbor, Fla., warehouse run by Ryan J. Kugler, the last major supplier of the tapes. "It's dead, this is it, this is the last Christmas, without a doubt," said Kugler, 34, a Burbank businessman. "I was the last one buying VHS and the last one selling it, and I'm done. Anything left in warehouse we'll just give away or throw away."

Dumped in a humid Florida landfill? It's an ignominious end for the innovative product that redefined film-watching in America and spawned an entire sector led by new household names like Blockbuster and West Coast Video. Those chains gave up on VHS a few years ago but not Kugler, who casually describes himself as "a bottom feeder" with a specialization in "distressed inventory." Kugler is president and co-owner of Distribution Video Audio Inc., a company that pulls in annual revenue of $20 million with a proud nickel-and-dime approach to fading and faded pop culture. Whether it's unwanted "Speed Racer" ball caps, unsold Danielle Steel novels or unappreciated David Hasselhoff albums, Kugler's company pays pennies and sells for dimes. If the firm had a motto, it would be "Buy low, sell low."

"It's true, one man's trash is another man's gold," Kugler said. "But we are not the graveyard. I'm like a heart surgeon -- we keep things alive longer. Or maybe we're more like the convalescence home right before the graveyard." The last major Hollywood movie to be released on VHS was "A History of Violence" in 2006. By that point major retailers such as Best Buy and Wal-Mart were already well on their way to evicting all the VHS tapes from their shelves so the valuable real estate could go to the sleeker and smaller DVDs and, in more recent seasons, the latest upstart, Blu-ray discs. Kugler ended up buying back as much VHS inventory as he could from retailers, distributors and studios; he then sold more than 4 million VHS videotapes over the last two years.

Those tapes went to bargain-basement chains such as Dollar Tree, Dollar General and Family Dollar, and Kugler's network of mom-and-pop clients and regional outlets, such as the Gabriel Bros. Stores in West Virginia or the Five Below chain in Pennsylvania. If you bought a Clint Eastwood movie at the Flying J Truck Stop in Saginaw, Mich., or a "Care Bears" tape at one of the H.E. Butts Grocery stores in Texas, Kugler's company probably put it there. He also sells to public libraries, military bases and cruise ships, although those clients now all pretty much want DVDs. Kugler estimates that 2 million tapes are still sitting on shelves of his clients' stores across the country, but they are the last analog soldiers in the lost battle against the digital invasion. "I'm not sure a lot of people are going to miss VHS," he said, "but it's been good to us."

If you rewind back to the 1980s, VHS represented a remarkable turning point for the American consumer. For the first time, Hollywood's classics and its recent hits could be rented and watched at home. "It was a sea change," says Leonard Maltin, the film critic and author who has written stacks of books to meet the consumer need for video recommendations. "Hollywood thought it would hurt movie ticket sales, but it didn't deter people from going to movies; in fact, it only increased their appetite for entertainment. Hollywood also thought it would just be a rental market, but then when someone had the idea of lowering the prices, the people wanted to own movies. They wanted libraries at home, and suddenly VHS was a huge part of our lives."

The format was easy to use (although fast-forwarding and rewinding to any particular spot was the worst new-tech irritant since the telephone busy signal) and, of course, the videocassette recorder and blank VHS tapes made it possible to catch up on any missed must-see TV, whether it was "Days of Our Lives" or "Monday Night Football." Hollywood found that movies also enjoyed a second opening weekend, as viewers throughout the country made Friday night trips to the rental store for new releases.

"I think in some ways it even pulled families together, if that doesn't sound too corny, because renting movies became such a part of the weekend," says Jim Henderson, one of the owners of Amoeba Music, the 45,000-square-foot merchant in Hollywood that sells pop culture in just about every format imaginable, including VHS. "It was also a great thing for film fans. You could educate yourself and go back to the well again and again. We're used to choice now, but that was the first time fans could watch what they wanted when they wanted."

Amoeba no longer buys VHS from distributors such as Distribution Video Audio. But customers bring in tapes every day to trade and sell. "We actually sell maybe 200 a day, almost all of them between $1 to $3," Henderson said. "Almost the same amount comes in as goes out." A lot of those are the classic or foreign films that are not available on DVD, such as "The Magnificent Ambersons" or Gregory Nava's "El Norte," or vintage music videos by punk bands or new wave pioneers such as Black Flag or Siouxsie and the Banshees. Some older customers simply don't want to switch to DVD, others just like the bargain-basement price of the tapes.

But, Henderson said, unlike with vinyl records, no one seems to cling to VHS for romantic reasons. "DVDs replaced VHS really fast compared to other format changes through the years," Henderson said. "VHS took too long to rewind, they were boxy and cumbersome, the picture was kind of flawed. The tape inside was delicate and just didn't hold up. DVD just blew it away." It's true, the VHS tape never really had a chance once the DVD arrived in the late 1990s with all its shiny allure -- higher quality image, nimble navigation and all that extra content. After a robust run at the center of pop culture, VHS rentals were eclipsed by DVD in 2003. By the end of 2005, DVD sales were more than $22 billion and VHS was slumping badly but still viable enough to pull in $1.5 billion. Next year, that won't be the case.

Just before Halloween, JVC, the company that introduced the Video Home System format in 1977 in the United States, announced that it would no longer make stand-alone videocassette recorders. The electronic manufacturer still produces hybrid VHS-DVD players, but it's not clear how long that will last. For a format that made Hollywood so much money, VHS leaves behind a shallow footprint in the movies themselves. There was "The Ring," a 2002 horror movie and its 2005 sequel, about a mysterious VHS tape that brings death to whoever watches it, but that's a sad valentine. This year Jack Black and Mos Def starred in "Be Kind Rewind," a loopy comedy that finds its center at a VHS rental store that is holding out against the DVD era, but the rebellion didn't go beyond the script -- the movie is available for rent or purchase on DVD and Blu-ray, but it was never released on VHS.

The format was also name-checked in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," the 2005 hit film that stars an unloved salesman at an electronics store; and even he has no room in his heart for the underdog format. "It's a dead technology," he explains to a customer. "It's like buying an eight-track player." Kugler is one of the rare people who can stir up some nostalgia for the black, boxy tapes. His father bought Distribution Video Audio in 1988 and carved out a niche as an inventory supplier for the video rental stores that were popping up everywhere. His young son was interested in a different end of the entertainment business; the younger Kugler spent many afternoons in his teen years sneaking onto the Paramount Pictures studio lot and soaking it all in. While watching the cast at work on "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," he decided he wanted to become a filmmaker; soon, the kid who was always underfoot on the "Cheers" set even coaxed Ted Danson to appear in a two-minute film he made.

But life took Kugler on a less glamorous path. He started working at Distribution Video Audio in 1991 and in short order took the company to new heights by negotiating directly with studios to buy their overrun inventory. The approach led the company beyond VHS, and soon Kugler's warehouses were filling up with CDs, books and merchandise like "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" wristwatches and "America's Next Top Model" T-shirts. A casual observer might wonder how much shelf life those sorts of products could possibly have, but Kugler has moved hard to the Internet and says the "scavenger culture" mentality and sites such as Half.com, Amazon Marketplace and EBay have made it easier than ever to match narrow-niche and oddball customers with the products they want -- especially when it's priced to go at $2 or $3.

With some things, though, even Kugler the great salvager can't find a buyer no matter how low he goes. He took a loss on 50,000 copies of "Yo-Yo Man," a Smothers Brothers instructional video for the stringed toy. ("I'm not sure what I was thinking on that one," Kugler said.) And then there is that stash of VHS tapes that couldn't even earn a spot on the last shipment out of his warehouse: a few thousand copies of "The Man With the Screaming Brain," a 2005 horror movie about a mad scientist, a Bulgarian tycoon, a cab driver and some cranial misadventures. ("That one," Kugler said, "will be buried with us.")

The majority of his firm's business today is with big box retailers including Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart and Sears, where the company sets up displays of its discounted DVDs, such as "Superman Returns" and "Proof of Life," which are often priced at $10 or less. Plenty of customers see that price as an invitation to build up their DVD collections. But Kugler, with a sly smile, offered a warning to consumers thinking of putting up shelving to handle their burgeoning libraries. "The DVD will be obsolete in three or four years, no doubt about it. Everything will be Blu-ray," Kugler said, anticipating the next resident at his pop culture retirement home. "The days of the DVD are numbered. And that is good news for me."

I won't lie, this is sad. I mean VHS has been obsolete for years now, but knowing that it is officially a thing of the past and that VHS will only be found on used, is tough considering I grew up on VHS. It is worth noting to anyone who still owns some VHS tapes that you can still purchase players at a site called Refurbdepot and Amazon still sells them on used, so the format still has a few spurts of breath left. It has to since many titles have never been released on DVD like No Holds Barred or Eric Von Stroheim's Greed. I still browse VHS whenever I see them sold. It wasn't long ago that the Hollywood Video rental chain liquidated its VHS stock, and I made sure to pick up a bunch that were not on DVD, or were out of print and too expensive on that format. So while many will not miss VHS, I still think we should respect it for how much it changed our way of watching films, as this article describes. And while VHS was irritating in many ways, since the tape would break for various reasons, and you'd have to rewind constantly, DVD and Blu-Ray are not walks in the park. All the pros aside, the discs scratch easily, and often times will not play correctly if mistreated. So to VHS owners everywhere, don't throw them away just yet.






A Bumpy Voyage?
Disney and Walden Media confirmed Tuesday that the Mouse House is NOT exercising its option to co-produce and co-finance the next "Narnia" movie with Walden. The reason was cited as only "budgetary and logistical reasons" according to The Hollywood Reporter. "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" was in preproduction and aiming for a spring shoot with a release in May 2010.

Michael Apted was on board to direct a script by Steven Knight, and the key cast members from the first two films were set to return as well. Walden is expected to shop "Treader" around in hopes of finding a new partner with Fox looking the most likely candidate at present. Yet the sheer cost, the previous film 'Prince Caspian' cost $200 million and notably underperformed, may cause the entire franchise to be scuttled. he failure of other recent non-Potter/Rings fantasy features like "The Golden Compass" and other Fox-Walden collaborations have made the kiddie-targeted fantasy feature a very risky and expensive venture in these unstable economic times.

Is this really a surprise to anyone? Well, it's not to me, and I'm not the slightest bit disappointed because Disney wanted the money from a known book franchise, but did not want to go the extra mile and make detailed and fulfilling sagas. I have said before that both were overrated and packed with flaws. Would any other studio make the series better? Doubtful considering you need to spend money to make money, especially in the fantasy genre, and since the cost of the Narnia flicks was the central problem, I sincerely doubt that Fox or whoever will say "take as much as you want and knock yourself out." These films could be like Harry Potter and improve with each sequel, but without a passionate filmmaker and cast that does not seem likely. I'll update you all as this progresses, but it looks like the Narnia crew will not make that voyage, or another other voyage, at all in the future.






More Actors are Expendable
Sylvester Stallone is after his old "Demolition Man" co-star Sandra Bullock to join him in his new action film "The Expendables" reports JoBlo. Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Randy Couture star in the story of a team of mercenaries on a mission to overthrow a South American dictator. Bullock would play a government agent (paired up with Whitaker) on the hunt for Stallone's crew of hired guns. Stallone co-stars and directs. Sylvester Stallone has also set actress Juliana Paes to be a part of his new action film reports Stallone Zone. Stallone apparently saw a picture of Juliana Paes in a magazine and found that she would be perfect for a role. Stallone has been in Brazil's Rio de Janiero since Tuesday finishing up pre-production and locking down the remaining cast.

You can count on the Bulletin for a weekly update on Expendables casting. Ummm, wow is my reaction to this. Sandra Bullock? That choice is smultaneously depressing and intriguing. I had no idea Forest Whitaker or Randy Couture were involved. Now the trailer can say "Starring Oscar winner Forest Whitaker." I seriously cannot wait to see this. No word on who the South American dictator will be. That will be an interesting one. Brian Tyler is doing the music, the same guy who was the composer on Frailty, Bubba Ho-Tep, and Rambo so that should be top-notch. Juliana Paes is a hot little number. The guys on the podcast said she has a hot body, but the face is not as good, but I'll wait for the film to make that judgment. I was unimpressed by pictures of Eva Green prior to Casino Royale, and she ended being gorgeous in that film, so you never know.






Prepare to be Gilliganized!
"Gilligan's Island" creator Sherwood Schwartz and his son Lloyd are moving ahead with a big screen version of the classic sitcom reports TV Guide. The pair are after "Superbad" and "Juno" star Michael Cera to don the famous red shirt and white hat as Gilligan, and Beyonce Knowles to play sexy movie star Ginger. Sherwood says the deal "Just happened in the last 48 hours. I can't take this much excitement at my age." No production schedule or further cast/crew involvement has yet been announced.

Excuse while I compose myself from hysterical laughter after reading this news bit. Not only is this a terrible idea, and I don't care how they play it, whether it is a straight up adaptation or a parody, but the casting hopes are pathetic indeed. If Michael Cera even considers accepting this, I will lose a lot of respect for him. Yes, spare me the whining, I know it's his career and he can do what he wants, but he is a terrific young actor, and these are films they would make fun on Entourage for goodness sakes! And Beyonce as Ginger? Umm, ok. Why is my first question? Just because she's Beyonce? Does she resemble the character at all? Next we'll hear they want Ellen Page as Mary Ann, Seth Rogen as the Skipper, and Paul Rudd as the Professor. Give me a break.






The Forbes Fictional Top 10
If fiction can be regarded as a culture's subconscious, then it's clear that we are a nation obsessed with the very rich. From avaricious caricatures like The Simpsons' Montgomery Burns to literary character studies like F. Scott Fitzgerald's Jay Gatsby, our culture--both high and low--is littered with images of billionaires and tycoons. Some characters are intentional riffs on real-life counterparts, most famously Orson Welles' blistering portrayal of William Randolph Hearst in Citizen Kane. Others, like Gordon Gekko from Oliver Stone's Wall Street, came to symbolize both a man--convicted inside trader Ivan Boesky--and an era: the go-go 1980s. To be sure, many are pure products of the imagination. But given the legion of publicity men and image handlers surrounding the typical real-life billionaires, understanding these fictitious characters is as close as most of us will come to grasping the minds of the very rich.

Rank Name Net Worth
1. Santa Claus - $ ∞
2. Richie Rich - 24.7 billion
3. Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks - 10 billion
4. Scrooge McDuck - 8.2 billion
5. Thurston Howell III - 8 billion
6. Willie Wonka - 8 billion
7. Bruce Wayne - 6.3 billion
8. Lex Luthor - 4.7 billion
9. J.R. Ewing - 2.8 billion
10. Auric Goldfinger - 1.2 billion
11. C. Montgomery Burns - 1 billion
12. Charles Foster Kane - 1 billion
13. Cruella De Vil - 875 million
14. Gordon Gekko - 650 million
15. Jay Gatsby - 600 million

I'm not sure how old or new this list is, but Yahoo was headlining it on Christmas day, so I thought I would display for you. I love the #1 choice of course, but how about old Scrooge McDuck making the top 5. Ducktales fans unite! I am curious as to how they calculated some of the amounts, but oh well; it's all good and fun. Lex Luthor has to be mighty pissed that he is at #8. If he were real he would be angry I mean.

The 20 Second Sermon

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will be 2.5 hours long says Producer David Heyman. That's a suitable length I think. Eddie Murphy's agent has officially shot down rumors of the star portraying the Riddler in the third Batman film. I didn't know this was a rumor. Guillermo Del Toro says The Hobbit is still set for 2011. The Diablo Cody penned Jennifer's Body, a horror comedy, will be released in September of 2009. Should be interesting to see what she can do next. We can expect a new Judge Dredd in the future. I don't really have an opinion on this, but it does make me want to watch the Stallone version again. I'm a sucker for bad Sly. Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes production company has ditched plans to remake Rosemary's Baby. Thank the Lord. As one of my favorite horror films, this is a joyous day. Clive Owen is set for Cartagena, a new drug cartel thriller. I like Clive and I like drug movies, so I'm game.

What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?

DVD Headline of the Week



Serenity (Blu-ray) - I usually don't display Blu-Ray releases, but this is the only film worth headlining this week, and it is spectacular science fiction. You all know that though. Buyable

Towelhead - This received some positive response, and with Aaron Eckhart and Toni Collete on the cast, how can you go wrong? It tells the story of a 13 year girl named Jasira.

Surfer Dude - Boy what a thin weak for DVD releases. I guess this the film that was in theaters for like a day? Just another excuse for McConaughey to take his shirt off.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (20th Anniversary Edition) - This franchise has eluded me for quite some time. I will get around to it, and kudos to Anchor Bay for releasing such cool looking double dips.

Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget Uncensored - I saw most of this on TV, and it was pretty hilarious, except for Norm MacDonald. Stamos was a good host as well. I wouldn't mind seeing what was cut. Rentable

The Critic's Quickee

Seven Pounds - Ladies and gentleman, Seven Pounds is this year's August Rush. You might be scratching your head thinking, how? The plots aren't related at all. Maybe not, but both films aim to touch audiences almost only on an emotional level, while the intellectual one is lacking. Don't fret because Seven Pounds is significantly better than that piece of trash, mainly due to the inspired lead performance from Will Smith, although he does furrow his eyebrows a bit too much. He does a wonderful job leading the audience on throughout most of the narrative, regardless of the fact that the "twist" can be predicted at a certain time. This is Smith's second outing with Director Gabriele Muccino (The Pursuit of Happyness), and he structures the film well with beautiful shots and nice steady pacing. The director and cast are two of the three reasons this is not a complete disaster. Screenwriter Grant Nieporte however missed his classes on realism on his way through writing for Sabrina the Teenage Witch and 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. The more one thinks about this plot, along with the various turns and surprises, the more it will frustrate the hell out of you. However, we cannot dwell on that too much since many films get worse when you think about them. So yes, a lot of what occurs here is preposterous. But if I can play a little devil's advocate for a second, the accuracy was not the point. The message is the important factor here, and no matter what anyone says, it is a sincere one. I will say this is a very powerful drama, and that brings me to the third reason this is not a catastrophe. Angelo Milli's score is brilliant, and absolutely is responsible for any tears induced. It swells during all the key moments, and is the primary factor for many viewers leaving satisfied. That, and the soundtrack included a bunch of great tracks. Without spoiling, I'll just say I was buying into the character's motives, but then the jellyfish comes into play, and my reaction was "Are you kidding me?" I also enjoyed the supporting performances from Woody Harrelson and Rosario Dawson, among others. Aside from its manipulative tendencies and heavy handedness, this is a relatively affecting film, but not a step in the right direction for Muccino or Smith. They both should be wiser about their projects. And in terms of donor flicks, John Q is superior. Final Rating = 6.0/10.0

Plus, check out my reviews for the following films:

Let the Right One in
Slumdog Millionaire
Frost/Nixon
Doubt
The Reader
The Wrestler
Che

What Have I Done?

Monday - Used one of my early Christmas gift cards already. This is one of those aggravating American Express gift cards that certain places have no clue how to operate. Using it all at one time is best since most problems occur when people try to use it and forget how much is on there. I picked up The Life and Times of Mr. Perfect, Traitor, and both Rivers Cuomo Alone CD's.





Tuesday - What is your policy on noisy moviegoers? Mine is simple. It has three steps, which I have discussed before (1. Shhh, 2. Glare Turn and Shhh, and 3. A verbal warning). However, I was somewhat irritated on this day as I was preparing to watch Seven Pounds with the fiancée, and she knows how I can get with noisy people. After all, I don't pay to listen to you. I immediately told them to "Shut Up", and as they continued, I was ready to attack. Idiots like this can ruin a movie, although Seven Pounds was already somewhat doomed.





Wednesday - Co-workers had been telling me I need to watch a music video on YouTube called "It's So Cold in the D", performed by T-Baby. They described it as funny, but one of the worst music videos ever made. I definitely concur with the latter comment, but it does get funnier the more times you watch. That female should never audition for American Idol.




Thursday - Yay…it's Christmas, and I have to work. Yeah that sucks, I know. But I still get plenty of presents. I hope all you Bulletinites are having wonderfully blissful holidays with your family and friends.





The Weekend - Another first had me picking up the single disc version of The Sound of the Smiths. I figured the best way to see if I enjoyed the band was the "best of." What I have heard so far is excellent, and I am disappointed I didn't give them a chance sooner. I'll certainly be getting The Queen is Dead at some point, which is supposedly their best album.

Based on the Trailer…

Note that some links require you to scroll down a menu below the trailer screen. This is Yahoo's fault most likely.

Newest Trailers

State of Play - As this preview starts, it seems like just another thriller with Russell Crowe, but the A-list cast on top of him causes one's interest to rise. I'll be seeing this one for sure. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - I have not seen one of these films, but this trailer didn't entice me to dive in either. It seems that whenever Perry runs out of sappy dramas, he retreats back to this character. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian - I realize the first one was a mammoth blockbuster hit, but it sucked, and this looks just as terrible, I don't care if Amy Adams and Jonah Hill are involved. Trailer Rating = 3.5/10.0

December Releases

Defiance - This new Edward Zwick film looks outstanding with Daniel Craig leading the cast in World War II story. This gave me chills. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Two Lovers - James Gray recruits Phoenix one last time. Here he juggles two women. Gray is a strange filmmaker, so for him to tackle a romance thriller should be intriguing for sure. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

January Releases

Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Kevin James stars in a Happy Madison production about a mall security guard. This looks like it will provide a few chuckles, but not much more. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Bride Wars - Kate Hudson has gone downhill as much as possible after her great role in Almost Famous. This looks dreadful, and not because it is targeted at women. I'm sure it will be #1. Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

Notorious - You can access both trailers from here. The newest offers a larger glimpse. This movie looks ok with inspired casting decisions, but my question is how sugarcoated will it be? Even those a little familiar with Biggie will see through the phony scenes. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Uninvited - A crappy looking horror film with some sort of lame twist at the end. Yay. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans - I have never been a big fan of this franchise. The first film was ok, but the second was weak. I like Rhona Mitra, she's hot, and has talent, but needs to pick some dramas. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

February Releases

Fanboys - This has to be one of the funniest trailers I have EVER seen. I will be seeing this for sure. Just look at the title, and watch it. I will spoil nothing. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Friday the 13th - This looks about as bad as any Michael Bay produced remake, but the mother voice over was eerie. Trailer Rating = 4.5/10.0

Friday the 13th (2) - If the teaser gave us any hope, the full length trailer shows us that this will be as much an abomination as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. This is one film I intend to watch….umm legally online. Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

The International - Sadly, this will be released early in 2009, which is not a good time of the year. Still, I like both Owen and Watts, and since Tom Tykwer is helming, it should be at least halfway decent. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0


Dance Flick - This Wayan parody trailer does what most parody trailers do: make you chuckle. But we all know the film will be a disaster. Well, some of us do. The others still see this sludge. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

March, TBD, and Beyond Releases

The Great Buck Howard - We have a magician comedy with John Malkovich, David Blaine, Tom Hanks, and Colin Hanks, among others. Is their any way this could be bad? I say no, and if you disagree, we are not friends. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

I Love You, Man - This has a superb cast, and looks like a lot of fun with Paul Rudd and Jason Segel providing the laughs. I'm definitely looking forward to it. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Crossing Over - At long last, Harrison Ford returns to expressing his acting talents, not his popularity in the action genre. This has a great cast, a good director, and a fascinating premise. I'm definitely in. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Monsters vs. Aliens - Wow, another terrific trailer, and this is a CGI flick from Dreamworks, who is stepping up their game past Shrek thankfully. This looks hysterical. Trailer Rating =9.5/10.0

The Escapist - A British prison break film starring Brian Cox. This is my favorite genre, so I can't wait for this, but in order for this to make a splash, it will have to be something special. The critic quotes being from random guys worries me. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Adventureland - The new film from Superbad director Greg Motolla looks ok. I'm more intrigued by the cast of young actors than the plot itself. I'm sure it will deliver enough laughs though. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Up - Pixar's next flick looks like another funny, endearing, and funfilled adventure. At least we can rely on them for originality. I'll definitely be seeing this. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Powder Blue - It stars Jessica Biel as a stripper, and includes Ray Liotta. Need I say more? Trailer Rating = 11/10

Dragonball: Evolution - Not too sure about this yet. The special effects look great, but then again, people said that about Jumper too. I'm new to this whole thing, but this looks like it could be bad, but Chow Yun Fat is in it, so one never knows. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Terminator Salvation - I love Christian Bale, and the Terminator franchise, but I have serious doubts about this. I believe it will be terrible, but I must admit, this teaser was well constructed. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Watchmen - This was the best trailer attached to my Dark Knight screening. Hopefully Zack Snyder can continue to improve his skills after 300. I must read this graphic novel soon. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I am undecided on this one. I think Gavin Hood is an excellent director, and I have faith in his talent, but the rest is a mixed bag, especially the first glimpse at Gambit, but that's my opinion. Otherwise, this looks to be heavy on action, which could be good or bad. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Outlander - Hmm, I'm not sure about this, but the cast alone is enough for me to buy a ticket. James Caviezel is so talented, but his script choices continue to boggle me (not in a bad way mind you). The idea is shaky, but the effects and acting look good, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Fast & Furious - Is that the best title they could come up with? Well, I hate this franchise, and everything it stands for, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a step up from the previous installment. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Soloist - Atonement' Joe Wright changes his British period drama material for something new. This looks a bit like Resurrecting the Champ, only with better actors. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Knowing - This has Number 23 sort of approach, which is fine, but why is Nicolas Cage doing all these mediocre thrillers? He's a great actor, and should be showing that more. Anyway, this looks ok. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

New York, I Love You - The first film, Paris, Je T'aime was one of the best films in recent memory that few knew about. So I am very excited about this second installment. The cast and directors look amazing. It should be a terrific experience. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Race to Witch Mountain - I like the Rock, and I'll see the original before this comes out, but this strikes me as a typical Disney adventure flick that has little offer. We'll see though. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Pink Panther 2 - This has a great cast, but I did not like the first remake, so I probably won't be rushing to the theater for this either. Not my cup of tea. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - This was a great book, the darkest of the set, and this trailer rocks. I'm anxious to see this. The franchise has not decreased in quality, and here's hoping this continues that trend. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2) - Yes, I am a bit skeptical of the director, but this looks very good. This teaser gave me hope that Yates knows what he's doing. The comedy part at the end was terrific. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Angels & Demons - The Da Vinci Code was a superb thriller, and this looks to be outstanding as well. This teaser has me amped for Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon again! Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Other Stuff to Read

The Best Movies of the Alphabet
The Best and Worst Bond Films.
411 December Roundtable - This month Owain J. Brimfield continues as roundtable host and compiles the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the releases for December!
The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.

Also, keep an eye out for more comic book character timelines in the future. Here are the first two:

The Ultimate Batman Timeline
The Ultimate Daredevil Timeline



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