Ten Deep 01.21.09: Musicals Men Could Love!

Posted by Lucas Huddleston on 01.21.2009

If you're a man that loves him some Musicals, that's fantastic. If you're a man that doesn't love Musicals, who knows, you could be missing out. Come on in as 411's Lucas Huddleston formulates a guide that could appeal even to those that hate Musicals!

Hello, and welcome to Ten Deep: Week 18! First things first, let's get into some comments from last week's column…

Kent Adams thinks I need to get out more and meet more people, which is obviously true, as I already know all eighty people that reside in my town. A friend of mine actually said the same thing not too long ago, addressing the fact that my columns are ‘too long' and I ‘think too much' about some of the stuff (last week's column was just a shade under 10,000 words, by the by). It's not my fault; it's my job's fault. As I've said before, I, probably unlike a lot of other writers here or even the readers, lack a college education, and my ‘real' job is quite possibly the most menial occupation in the history of the world…and I believe that if the administrators could find someway, somehow to train a dog to do my work (which could be done with a little bit of dedication, I assure you), I'd be out of a job. As such, I spend forty hours a week at work just thinking. And thinking. Over and over. It's all I do there, honestly. Then I store it all up in my memory banks, and regurgitate it somewhere. Actually, now that I think about, my friend's an asshole. I'm kidding. And thanks for the good words; I'd like to devote an entire column to breaking down the Batman stuff even further, as I'd enjoy it quite a bit.

iamtherob posted his own ten anticipated films, and skipping the ones we share, I'll briefly give thoughts on the others that he brought up. H2: I'm interested in it, but my interest hasn't grown very much so far, as most of the upcoming Horror films that I'm all wrapped up in right now is The Wolf-Man and Friday the 13th. But I'm sure that once the film gets further along in development all be all wrapped up in H2 as well. Wolverine: I'll probably see it, but I've never been all that big of an X-Men kind of guy, so my expectations are well tempered…which means that if the film is more-than-decent, I'll probably love it. 2012: I actually had yet to hear about this until you brought it up, at which point I did a search on it. It sounds interesting, as I'm a sucker for post-apocalyptic stuff, and it looks as though it has a decent cast piled up. But the post-apocalyptic film that I'm most looking forward to is the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Red Sonya: I think this could be fun if done the right way, but I'm not anticipating it near as much as the Conan film, which slipped my mind until after I had posted last week's list. That sucks, because I could've given my thoughts on that. Star Trek: I want to see it, as I like Trek, but one thing about it bothers me: I've heard that the story features a Romulan…but to introduce a Romulan in this film would cause continuity problems with the debut of the Romulans in The Original Series, where nobody knew of their existence beforehand, save for Spock (they all thought the Romulans were Vulcans). The trailers I've seen for it do look good, though.

Frosty reads my stuff at work! Shame on you…but that's okay, because I write at work. Some poor sap leaves their computer up, and I sneak in there at night and create ART. Nah, I'm kidding, I'm not that full of myself to call it art. Also, I agree that Nolan and company would utilize a lesser known character in the third film, and I think that Deadshot would apply in that manner, as, even though he's known to regular Batman fans, more casual people probably wouldn't know who he was. Well, they might know, but I'm not sure. Thanks for the kind words, too.

kinaj thinks that they new G.I. Joe movie will be crap, and "try to be to hip and trendy, with some shitty pop/rock/rap song to close it all out with a hint of a sequel." That's what I HOPE doesn't happen, honestly; not the sequel hinting, I should clarify, but the hip/trendy part. I haven't seen the pics of Storm Shadow with sneakers on, but the part about Duke have butt-cheeks on his armor makes me think of Spaceballs.

Trent wondered where Ghostbusters 3 was at on my list. I'm not really all that psyched for it, as I feel that almost TOO much time has passed for another movie. But, then again, I felt the same way about the last Indiana Jones movie, and I came out of that movie feeling pleasantly surprised. That could very well happen here.

Beerad stated that Poison Ivy could work in Nolan's universe. In retrospect, I suppose she could, IF she only used her potions and such. They'd have to drop her powers that she has over plant life, as well as the whole angle on her having toxins in her bloodstream that she secretes. But still, I don't expect we'll see her in the third film, but then again, who knows?

Drew Robbins, one half of the irreplaceable Robbins boys from the Game Zone here at 411, said that the first Transformers film was terrible, and that he essentially holds out little to no hope at all for the upcoming second film. I personally really liked the first one, but, as I said, I went into the film expecting garbage, and since I felt that it wasn't garbage, I ended up really liking it. From one extreme to the other, essentially. I do have some reservations about the second movie, however.

Hey, The Former C.W.D.U. makes a return after a few weeks of hiatus! Thanks for the good words. I have actually yet to buy the Batman: The Animated Series set, in ANY form. I was on a mission to do so about a year back, but every time I set out to buy it, I'd always opt to go with something cheaper from the video store. The individual sets that were selling prior to the big, single set were priced a little under forty bucks here a volume, and so I'd always chicken out and walk away with other things, like Superman: The Animated Series Volume One. However, I do indeed plan on buying the new, big set sometime in the near future. And I do indeed agree with you on Spider-man 4, as I hope that Raimi also is allowed full reign on this next film…but I'm not too sure about the rumored choice of Morbius as a villain. I'm pretty much in agreement with everybody else, in that I'd like them to go ahead and push the Lizard angle that's been right there in front of us for a few movies now, and bring in Kraven to hunt him down, while Spidey protects the Lizard, when he's not fighting Connors for his life. It would be an intriguing storyline, to say the least.

Guest #3263 thinks its laughable to think that a fourth Batman film wouldn't be made, with or without Nolan…though he expects Nolan to return. Nolan could return, and you know that Batman 3 would pull in a ton of money (though not as much as The Dark Knight); however, who knows? Nolan could decide by then that he's accomplished all he can with the Batman movies, and if that's the case, I'd look for him to move on…and, to be honest, that's what I expect will happen. The Batman franchise would continue without him, though I personally would drop the franchise for a bit, re-introduce Superman through a reboot of that franchise, and THEN do a Superman/Batman movie, as I personally think would be the best road to take for WB, if they did indeed wish to correlate their DC franchises into a single continuity for a Justice League film, as it would acclimate the Batman franchise as it exists now to the world of ‘superpowers'. Oh, and I as well think that James Franco could indeed get the job done as the Joker, as I enjoy his work. Also, while I understand your hesitancies about Johnny Depp having a role in the upcoming film, I'd like to see it. I've always heard the complaint about the 1989 Batman that Jack Nicholson wasn't so much the Joker as he was Jack Nicholson; I never felt that way, but I don't think that the star of Depp would outshine the character, or his performance in that same manner.

setobakura says that he really doesn't want to see Harley Quinn without the Joker. I personally wouldn't mind it, but my original draft for my Batman breakdown was lengthier, and in it I stated that one of the drawbacks to using Harley Quinn's character in the next film was that her character wasn't truly complete without utilizing the relationship that she has with the Joker. But, again, I wouldn't mind seeing her alone. She's one of my faves.

matt brought up Avatar. I'm not really anticipating it, but I will say that I think that a film like that is exactly what M. Night Shyamalan needs…a breath of fresh air, so to speak.

Anonymous Smart Mark basically said he wants to see Anarky in the next film. I think Anarky would be cool, but he might be too close to how the Joker was presented in the last film. Of course, they could play the ‘anti-hero' card with him, and that could work. Just as long as they drop the 12 year old boy slant.

The Great Capt. Smooth wants to see a Metroid and a Flash film. Metroid would be cool, definitely. I think a Flash movie could be a really fun film, as he has a stable full of fun, interesting villains that could be used.

Finally, I received an email from a fellow named Gregory that was receptive to my breakdown for the potential third Batman film, though he didn't feel that my suggestion of Jake Gyllenhaal as a suitable replacement for Heath Ledger was a good choice. Instead, he sent me a pic of this guy, saying that this would be his choice…



I think that, yeah, it could work. In case you don't recognize him (I didn't at first), his name is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, probably most famous for playing the kid Tommy on the late-90's television sitcom, 3rd Rock from the Sun. There are some fairly striking similarities between the two men at a glance, and yes, I believe that through some well applied makeup, Gordon-Levitt could make a more than passable VISUAL doppelganger for Ledger, if the Joker was indeed to play a role in the next film. Of course, I really have no idea of the quality of his actual acting work outside of 3rd Rock, but I have it on good authority that Gordon-Levitt did showcased his acting talents quite well in a film called Brick (which I haven't seen, but now I feel the need to see it). Anyway, this interested me quite a bit, and I thought that I'd throw this out there on here just because it did indeed interest me.

Well, my beloved Kansas City Chiefs hired a new General Manager, a new GM who just happens to have been the GM that has stood over the New England Patriots during these past few years of glory for them. While I'm not really sure how much credit should be bestowed upon GM's for the success of their football teams (nor how much blame GM's should take), this clearly seems to be a step in the right direction for the Chiefs. Of course, from that very first day that the new GM was announced, rumors started flying about Herm Edwards' possible firing. And you know, I don't think he should be fired…at least, not yet. Herm inherited a team that's age caught up with it rather quickly, as when he took over, the vaunted Chiefs offense was a shell of its former self…though through no fault of Herm's. One of the best running backs in franchise history was essentially done, as was the starting quarterback, the primary wide-out, etc.; then in two consecutive years, Herm lost two hall-of-fame offensive tackles to retirement. So, almost from the very moment that he was hired, Herm's been forced to basically rebuild the team from scratch. In fact, that was the very assumption that I've been under since his hiring. So what sense would it make to fire him now, before we see if his plans can make any headway?

A MAN'S GUIDE TO TEN GOOD MUSICALS THAT ALL MEN COULD LOVE!

First off, the whole reason that this list came into existence is this: when I first started writing here on 411, my girlfriend asked me if I'd do a list of her choice on her birthday. Well, it's her birthday (dammit...just kidding), and this was her pick. Well, actually, her initial pick was to do a list on films based on actual events, and I started on that…but it became apparent to me after a while that such a list would have to be broken down quite a bit. I mean, it just didn't feel as though I could properly compare something like, say, United 93 to Chaplin, or Black Hawk Down to Brian's Song. I felt that it would've had to have categorized in ways such as War Films Based On Actual Events, Disasters Based On…, or Biopics (and even then, could be broken down into things like Biopics About Athletes or Biopics About Musicians). However, once I told her that I'd like it to be broken down a bit more, she threw a curveball at me and said ‘musicals'. At first, I thought I could do it justice, no problem, as having grown up as an only child, SOMEONE had to watch Musicals with my mother; however, as I compiled my list, it became apparent to me that quite a few of my favorites in the Musical genre weren't typically listed by critics and ‘people in the know' as being ‘greats', as far as Musicals go…and that a lot of the greats that other people recognize, I haven't even seen. So instead, I figured that I'd highlight a few Musicals that men such as I might enjoy. That's probably NOT what my girlfriend wanted from me here, but it's the best that I can do. To make it up to her, I'll do a column on films based on true events here in the oncoming weeks…I promise.

Now then, first allow me to clarify a bit on the title to this column. Don't be misled by the title with the line of thought that I believe musicals to be ‘girly'. Quite the contrary, as if you're a man and you love you some of that Musical goodness, that's fine by me, for as I said before, I like some musicals. But just let me state this right now – THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A LIST THAT HIGHLIGHTS THAT WHICH THE BEST IN THE GENRE HAS TO OFFER, merely a list that highlights some Musicals that most men who DON'T like musicals could watch and possibly enjoy. The only real rule here that she laid out for me was this: no animated Disney films. So no animated Disney musicals for this list, which kind of sucks, but it's not my rules. Also, no Christmas movies, as that's too easy (mostly meaning The Nightmare Before Christmas). Oh, and my own little rule, there will be at least one notable film that won't appear here, mainly because I've already covered it here in recent weeks (i.e. The Wizard of Oz). So let's do it to it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Across the Universe (2007): My girlfriend and my mother actually watched this not less than two weeks ago; I, however, was unable to, as I was busy writing on that particular week's column (i.e. the one that I intended to be short and thus put off). If I hadn't have been indisposed at the time, I would've watched it in its entirety…but I didn't, so I can't rate it here. However, I did catch bits and pieces, as well as listened to every single song in the film from my perch in the other room, and I CAN say this: the film would be worth it if only for the music, as its all Beatles material. Good stuff to listen to.

Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982): Some people would no doubt put this in the Top Ten, but not I. In fact, I've always thought that the film was a bit over-rated by some…but then again, I don't do drugs, so what do I know? Apart from the film, the music is, of course, great, as it consists of work from Pink Floyd's seminal album, The Wall, so you really can't go wrong with the music in this one (though there are also those people that would tell you that The Wall album itself is overrated, and that Pink Floyd' best work is Animals, *hint-hint*…).

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (1999): This film was actually on the list up until almost the zero hour…until it finally dawned on me that it was ANIMATED film. That's against the rules, and I totally spaced on that one…but it should at the very least still be mentioned, I think.

THE TOP TEN

10. Moulin Rouge! (2001)



Of course, probably like a lot of other guys, my very first run-in with Moulin Rouge! came by not of the movie itself, but by way of the smokin' hot music video for the film, featuring the likes of Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, and Li'l Kim singing and shaking in skimpy outfits that I only imagined was similar to the clothing that the women in the movie wore, as well. Of course, keep in mind that at the time I was indeed damn near a constantly and quite easily aroused teenager, and needless to say that said music video accomplished its purpose and made me actually, desperately WANT to watch the movie, if only to watch the women. Of course, I didn't have the balls to actually go and watch the movie in the theaters, nor did I have the balls to actually buy or rent the film on DVD after it had been released on home video, because in my young, ignorant mind at the time, the very thought of being seen walking into a Musical at the theater or being caught buying a Musical on DVD was a humiliation whose pain inflicted could only be exceeded by the pain seared into the flesh of those that rest at the bottoms of the deepest, fiery pits of Hell itself. So instead, I waited until one of my friends, who just happened to be a female, bought the movie…at which point, I and several others of my male friends were all present in front of the television screen in order to watch the movie.

My final prognosis at the time was this: Moulin Rouge! was a pretty damn cool little movie. The film had a fairly striking visual look, and one that seemed quite unique when compared to other films of the time. The characters were all fun and entertaining, the plot of the thing (which basically was about a group of prostitutes that wanted to be legit entertainers…intertwined with the requisite love story, of course) was also fun and engaging, and the film also featured a fairly tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that at times made it quite funny. But the real thing that drew me in at the time was the music, fittingly enough…and by the music, I don't mean the performances. Oh, that's not to mean that the performances by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman are bad by any means; far from it, as a matter of fact, as I thought that they both did pretty wonderful. I, however, loved the music itself. You see, at the time, I fancied myself to be somewhat of a ‘music connoisseur' (otherwise known as a ‘music Nazi'), and I thought that nearly all other types of music that I didn't think was ‘classic' or ‘real' was pure crap. Of course, Moulin Rouge! featured a list of songs that imitated or ‘sampled' bits from songs by the legendary likes of David Bowie, Elton John, and Queen…and since I had deemed music by those (and the others featured in the film) to be ‘real' music, I loved the film. Since that time, I've grown as a person to the point where I don't really care about what other people think about what films that I purchase (as I've since bought the film on DVD), and I've grown to the point where I don't really care about how crappy some forms of music out there is (if its crap, why waste my time talking about why its crap…and who decides what music is ‘real' or not), but I still love the music in the film. Many have deemed that Moulin Rouge! is the Musical that pulled the genre back into the limelight after having been on a downward spiral for years after the 1970's; while I myself don't really know if that's true or not, it's definitely true that it stands as being one of the best in crafted in the past twenty years.

MAN-nerisms (or why I think men would like it): The movie features a lot of fairly good looking women dancing around in fairly revealing outfits. That should be more than enough to get most guys to sit down and enjoy the movie.

9. Paint Your Wagon (1969)



Ah, the Western film genre. While I do indeed have a strong affinity for a whole heap of different genres, a heap that would include the likes of Fantasy, Horror, Animated, Sci-Fi, and Mystery films, perhaps the one genre of film that I've had the strongest relationship with (apart from Fantasy, of course) would be the Western genre. To be honest, one might have already correctly assume that, considering the small, rural area from which I hail and that that specific genre of media (meaning the Western) is often perceived to be a part of such ‘hillbilly' or ‘hick' culture. However, my own love for Westerns stems from something a bit more personal and not quite so generalized and pigeon-holed as something as trivial as ‘being from the country'. You see, there was a period of time between my pre-teen years and the time shortly before I was to go off to college that my maternal grandfather lived with us…and the man was a hardcore lover of all things that had to do with the American Old West. He was rather elderly by the time that he came to live with us, and as such, there was little more that he could do other than: A.) read, and B.) watch television. He almost exclusively read books that were penned by Louis La'Mour; as well, apart from the local news, The Price is Right and, strangely enough, The Young and Restless, the man literally watched NOTHING else other than Western themed shows, such as Gunsmoke, or Western films. Now, in truth, my grandfather was almost himself a caricature of the ‘hillbilly' image, as he was known to wear old, well-worn (i.e. ragged) overalls, complete with one strap ripped and unable to hook to the front of the garment (and as such, the thing ran and dangled along the slight curvature of his back); he swore like the dickens (which, in retrospect, was in funny contrast to my father, the ordained minister), he chewed Red Man tobacco and spit the juices into a long discarded Bugler can that he'd carried around with him for many, many years (at the very least twenty, since he'd quit smoking in the mid-‘70's), and he carried that spit-can with him everywhere he went, all throughout the house, to the store, to church…the stench desperately clinging to every room that it sauntered into, via my grandpa. Needless to say, I loved my grandpa very much, and I would watch his old Western films with him for many hours of the day; in fact, one time I had my mother rent a movie for him from the local movie store, a Western with a group of women on the cover (though I've long forgotten the name of it), and when we'd brought it home and Grandpa had shoved it into the VCR…it was a soft-core porno. That was awesome. Of course, there also came a time when, along with my grandfather, we stumbled across this movie, Paint Your Wagon…and at first, it didn't go all that well.

Now after knowing that it effectively turned off my grandfather (who, as an old generation man of the country was a man's man if there ever was one, I assure you), I'm sure that the main question on everybody's minds would be thus: what is it, then, about Paint Your Wagon that could possibly pique the interest of most men? Well, if you've been a Simpsons fan for long enough, then I'm sure you already know…but for those of you who still don't know, I can sum it for you in exactly THREE words. Clint. Eastwood. Singing. Of course, I had been weaned on Eastwood's Western films almost at my grandfather's behest, films such as Pale Rider, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Hang ‘Em High, and, of course, A Fistful of Dollars; as such, watching a Western the likes of Paint Your Wagon, starring the likes of one of the baddest men to have ever moseyed onto the movie set of a Western…well, it came as quite a shock to the both of us. My grandfather wasn't given much to appreciating a favorite actor of his trying something different…and when you take that and couple it with the fact that my grandfather absolutely loathed the ‘singin' cowboys' of Westerns, such as Gene Autry or Roy Rogers, needless to say that doom was effectively spelled out for this movie in the eyes of my grandfather after only watching the first five to ten minutes of the thing, and it was never played in our house again during his lifetime. Years later after my grandfather had passed on, I revisited the movie, with my strongest memories of the film being my grandpa's ridiculing of it…and this time, I thought the film was pretty good. Most of the pre-requisites of Westerns are in place here, as Paint Your Wagon if filled with beautiful scenery, fairly good acting…and, of course, pretty good music. The main appeal here, naturally, would be to hear Eastwood singing, and the curiosity of whether or not such an act would be near the trainwreck as one would imagine it to be. Sorry to say, but it's not a trainwreck; in fact, Clint holds his own pretty well here in the singing department, and actually did all of his own singing without having to be dubbed (unlike John Wayne). All in all, it's a pretty good Musical, and one that I think men would enjoy.

MAN-nerisms: It has Clint Eastwood singing. ‘Nuff said.

8. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)



This film may not look or sound like being much of a Musical that most men who hate Musicals could sit down and watch, but trust me, it is. This film is not just one of the few Musicals that don't include things like blood and death that I like…in fact, it may very well be my absolute favorite Musical of all time. Of course, I have my mother to thank for that, because, you see, this movie unquestioningly stands as being her favorite Musical, if not her favorite movie of all time – period. So it really shouldn't come to anybody's surprise to learn that I've watched this film countless times throughout my life, as my mother no doubt attempted to brainwash me into liking this movie so that she could mold someone that liked it enough to watch it with her. Since I just so happened to watch the movie shortly after Christmas, I think that it's safe to assume that she succeeded in that regard. And yet, despite this most obvious method of brainwashing that my mother used on me, I still believe that all men would like this movie, and mainly for one simple reason: the film is about a woman that dares to wallow in the much in order to right her husband and his brothers from being the macho, chauvinistic pigs that they are…and indeed, there's a lot of machismo and chauvinism going on in this movie.

The film takes place in the pioneer era of American history, and begins with Adam, the oldest of six hermitical brothers, going into town on one fine spring morning with the intention of bringing a wife back home with him. However, it should be noted that he's not on the hunt for a wife for companionship, nor for more carnal habits; he wants to take a woman back with him to essentially be his house servant. You see, Adam and his six brothers basically live in squalor, and due to their never-ending occupation of working the land (whether it be through hunting and gathering food, chopping wood, or plowing the fields in order to sell their crops at harvest), the status of their house and hygiene has fallen into a severe state of maltreatment. So, of course, it makes sense to have one of them marry a female to, you know, clean house, do the dishes, lay out their clothes in the morning, and prepare their meals for them whenever barked at to do it. After all, isn't that women are for? Well, Adam seems to think so, and amazingly enough, he lands himself a bride within the first five minutes of the movie, to a woman that he's just met, no less. Naturally, he neglects to inform her of all his brothers and the plans that they have for her…but, of course, even the best laid plans have been known to go awry, as Adam picks himself one of them strong-willed, ‘indy-pendit' females, and she teaches Adam and his brothers ‘whut fer' by film's end. So that covers the chauvinism, so what about the machismo? Well, Adam and his brothers are macho men, through and through, as at the beginning of the film the only other thing that they seem to care about besides working would be fighting…sometimes even getting into fistfights with one another when there's nobody else around to fight. By midway through the film, though, Adam's wife stirs them up into frenzy to getting them some of that female goodness, at which point they chase a group of women relentlessly, at one point even getting into a mass rumble with the girls' other suitors. Of course, don't think that this brief summary of what drives the characters in the film means that the film is some barbaric, ‘man good, woman evil' form of Neanderthal-ism. It's actually a cute little film, filled with little funny moments and great songs. Oh and the rumble that I was talking about? That goes down in the midst of a neighborly barn-raising, and exists in the form of a complex and intricate (and visually amazing at times) fight/dance sequence. Overall, like I said, this film stands as being probably one of my absolute favorite Musicals.

MAN-nerisms: It shows men being pigs, which, lets face it, is pretty easy for most men to relate to…or at least be entertained by.

7. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)



Funnily enough, the very first time that I'd ever heard anything about the existence of a play entitled Sweeney Todd, I heard so by way of a movie…but not this movie, nor any other movie that was based on the story or the play. In fact, that initial inkling of interest that I finally began to formulate in regards towards the play Sweeney Todd came by way of a Kevin Smith film – a film called Jersey Girl, to be precise. In Jersey Girl, Ben Affleck stars as a single parent, with the main plot of the film circulating around how Affleck's character struggles with the more mundane side of life that comes with proper parenthood, while his life at one time was lining up to be quite successful and anything but ‘mundane'. At one point in the film, Ben's little daughter is assigned a school project that entails the students to re-enact a scene from a Broadway play of their choosing. Nearly every child that participated in the project chose a scene from the play Cats, and not only that, but nearly every child that chose a scene from Cats all chose the exact same scene…except for Affleck's daughter. Instead of going with the flow and choosing that one particular scene from Cats like every single one of her classmates, Ben's daughter instead chose to reenact a scene from (you guessed it) Sweeney Todd. While I enjoyed Jersey Girl to a degree that it seems that most other people didn't, I will freely admit that the one thing that stuck with me more than most long after I'd watched the film was indeed the notion of there being a musical play such as Sweeney Todd being out there. A Musical that chronicled the fictional exploits of what was little more than a serial killer that posed as a barber, killing his patrons and ultimately making meat pies out them? It sounded almost as though the Musical itself could very well have been a straight-up Horror-Musical…and there seemed to be no way in Hell that such a thing could in any way, shape, or form be all that bad. And when a film was announced for release in 2007 with the names of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp attached to it…well, needless to say, Sweeney Todd became a first for me – it was the very first Musical to ever be released that I was actually anticipating.

Of course, that's not to say that I didn't have at least some reservations about the film…or, I should specify, I had merely ONE such reservation about the movie. As his career has moved along, it's pretty much been proven that Johnny Depp is more-or-less the Man as far as his acting skills are concerned; however, his singing ability has largely unexplored (that is to say, it HADN'T been explored), and so his playing the lead singing role in a Musical film seemed a bit uncertain, as it was clearly unfamiliar territory for not only Depp himself, but for his fans as well. Well, when I had finally found the opportunity to sit down and watch the movie, I was delighted to see that my one reservation failed to see fruition, as Depp proved himself more-than-capable at carrying a tune. Apart from the singing side, the rest of Depp's performance was, of course, never really in question. Burton's direction, likewise, was never in doubt; neither, really, was the remainder of the main cast, with Helena Bonham Carter and Alan Rickman doing their usual great jobs (and Sacra Baron Cohen's role in the film was pretty funny, I thought). A film that makes use of heavy Gothic architecture that utilizes a dark and twisted subject matter? Sounds like something that's right up Tim Burton's alley, doesn't it? As such, it should go without my saying that the film looks stylishly gorgeous…and yes, there is quite a bit of blood to be found here in this film. However, it's not just the fact that there's blood here that truly separates this movie from most others in the genre of Musicals, nor is it even the subject matter; what really makes this Musical feel so much more different and odd than nearly all others is the fact that there's really nobody to get behind and root for. Sure, Sweeney Todd (Depp) garners sympathy when you learn his back-story at the beginning of the film, but by about midway through when the character truly slips into his madness and out of control hatred, he kind of just stops being all that sympathetic. Nearly every other Musical film out there has at least one main character that you find yourself cheering for to overcome whatever conflict it is that exists in whatever film that character is in, but not here. Maybe that's why I ended up liking it so much, rather than just because of the blood.

MAN-nerisms: It has Johnny Depp in it. And if that's not enough, there's quite a bit of blood and killing…and all men like that in their movies.

6. Little Shop of Horrors (1986)



When I was a around the age of ten or so, there came a day when my uncle showed up at my parents' house and pawned off on them a rather large trunk that just happened to be filled to the brim with movies that had been taped off on VHS'…though, I should note, that my parents took them almost exclusively at my behest. Of course, since this was the very same uncle that had been secretly allowing me to watch Horror films at his house a few years earlier, before my parents found out about it; as such, it was only fitting that my parents dug through the trunk and pulled out any and all Horror films that had been taped off, with my uncle directing them as to what was and what wasn't Horror films, regardless of what other movies shared the tape with said Horror films. Those that were pulled out were promptly thrown in the trash, which would cause a bit of a delay in my watching something like, say, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for a few more years, and while I was at first disheartened, there just happened to be more than enough stuff that was left over that allowed my budding curiosities in certain things to be engorged. I've never really known if my uncle did it purposely or if he just happened to sincerely not notice them, but left in the trunk were little wholesome gems such as the first two Toxic Crusader films, Flesh Gordon, Andy Warhol's Blood for Dracula…and, of course, Little Shop of Horrors. Each of those films offered up something a little different and unique to a ten year old boy such as I, as the Toxie films were gory, Flesh Gordon was more-or-less a soft-core porno flick, and Warhol's Dracula movie was somewhere in between. Little Shop of Horrors, however, was different, and while it may not have offered up the levels of intense excitement as Flesh Gordon did (!), it quickly separated itself as being my favorite of the films that my uncle had given us.

Eventually (as in, shortly thereafter), the Little Shop of Horrors tape that had been given us would go on to break (as would the others, in fact), as even when my uncle had first given them to us, the tape itself was covered in some kind of crusty substance. However, during that period of time in which I did own a copy that actually operated in the known fashion of the word, it should be noted that I watched the hell out of it. Naturally, since I pretty much knew nothing about the film before I sat down to watch it, I was expecting to see something a little more along the lines of something scary…but, even though it wasn't really all that scary (though the Horror elements were indeed fairly defined, such as chopping up people and feeding them to a gigantic plant from an alien world), the movie absolutely rocked, and it sunk its grip into me and turned me into a fan of the movie almost instantly. While the plant, called Audrey II (which looked pretty damn good, in my opinion), gave the ‘performance' of the film, the other too main draws here (in terms of performances) are Rick Moranis and Steve Martin. Moranis stars the main character, and stands as being the epitome of the word ‘geek' if there ever was one…though, then again, such a character has proven to be the calling card of the guy, as I personally don't think that there's ever been a better actor to portray a geek in film history, so you can't really lose with his acting job here. Martin, on the other hand, comes into the film as a psychotic, sadistic dentist, and a role that is EASILY one of Martin's most memorable and even probably one of his most hilarious, for the sole reason that…well, just picturing Steve Martin as a psychotic, sadistic dentist should be enough of a reason. Little Shop of Horrors is a fairly whacked out and weird, yet still charming, Musical that I'm sure most women might despise…which in and of itself is more than enough reason for a man to enjoy it.

MAN-nerisms: It also has quite a bit of killing, though the film is also a bit wacky and weird…but it's also pretty funny and incredibly entertaining.

5. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)



It's been well-documented in past columns how I came to love Horror films, and how even to this day, I find myself watching even the worst that the genre has to offer with a somewhat wide-eyed wonder that a child might watch them with. So it was that somehow, someway I had inadvertently avoided any and all information concerning this movie for most of my life (well, it's probably not so much of a far-cry as to the whys of it, considering the environment that I grew up in); as such, late one night shortly after my family had purchased satellite television and my parents had finally relinquished their iron-fisted tyranny on what I could and could not watch (my teenage years), I happened to stumble across this movie as it aired on one of the movie channels late one night. Naturally, Horror films that were created in a more modern era were still somewhat of a novelty to me at that time, and since the movie quite obviously had the word ‘Horror' in the title, it seemed pretty cut-and-dried as to what exactly it was that I has sat down to watch. Blood, chills, scares…you know, Horror-y stuff. Of course, the first real red-flag went up during the opening credits, which also marked the first time that I happened to think just what the hell I was watching…a thought that was by FAR more greatly echoed shortly thereafter as Dr. Frank N. Furter sang ‘Sweet Transvestite' on my television screen. By the time that Frank N. Furter had ‘gone down' on Brad Majors, it was official: I had been GROSSLY unprepared for what it was that I was watching. I believe that a few mental and psychological scars still remain today, cut a bit too deep for this naïve country boy to be watching a film like Rocky Horror at that particular point in my life.

Of course, since then I've grown a little older and a little wiser in the ways of the world, or, at least, much more so than when I was a short-minded teenager in the midst of growing up in the ‘lost world' of Brumley, Missouri, a town that consists of less people than there are in most apartment buildings. I rightfully avoided the movie like the plague for as long as I could…but then I went to college, where I discovered that not only did other people watch it and LIKE it, but there were also those that seemingly celebrated the thing. Now, I didn't know anybody that was so fanatical about the movie that they dressed up as characters from the film and then drove up to Kansas City to watch the movie at a late night screening; however, I did know a few people that liked the movie so much that, when I told them that I had watched it once and was astoundingly appalled (APPALLED, I say!) at what I had seen, they forced me to watch it again. Indeed, I'll admit that I was feeling a bit uncomfortable as those certain opening credits to the film started to roll…but a funny thing happened. My friends were laughing heartily throughout almost the entire thing, and for the first time in years, I was able to look past the ‘shocking' elements of the film, and see it for what it really is: a funny and light-hearted send-up of all things Horror, and a film that feels almost as innocent in it's nature (though not subject matter, of course) as I had been when I first watched it. After I'd warmed to film a bit more, I began to look into the film a little bit more, which is where I learned of the film's loyal fanbase, as well as how the film's first substantial run came via midnight showings…which makes the first time I watched the thing (late at night) that much more appropriate, I suppose. I do indeed rather like the film nowadays, and while it's not my favorite Musical, I almost feel that to apply the term ‘Musical' to the movie might be to short-change the film, as to those who love it, the picture is much, much more than just a Musical. However, I will say that nearly everything about this movie is as perfect as it could be: it has a perfect cast to carry along the odd, whacked out trappings that the film consists of; it has incredibly catchy and enjoyable songs, which, again, is perfect for the film; it has perfect sets and a great look to the film…The Rocky Horror Picture Show is truly nothing short of unique and original. So unique and original that I can only begin to imagine how much of an utter DISASTER the upcoming 2010 remake is going to be. To remake a Musical on film is pretty much unheard of (which is an act that I believe to impossible, as for a Musical to work, everything has to click just right), but to remake The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Good luck with that.

MAN-nerisms: If you can deal with Tim Curry strutting about in a corset and garters, acting like he's the sexiest thing on the planet, you'll be thoroughly entertained by the weirdness. Men likey weird things.

4. Singin' in the Rain (1952)



Even though this film would effectively evade my viewing grasp for many, many years, Singin' in the Rain was still one of those films that almost impossible to have heard of before I actually found the chance to watch it. At times, it almost feels like a majority of people are actually birthed from the womb with the title song (replete with images of Gene Kelly swinging on a lamppost) preprogrammed into their brains. I, for one, have known the chorus of the title song, as well as the general melody of it, for most of my life, and unquestionably LONG before I had ever watched the movie…and I know that I had never seen it, because the film was one of the few Musicals that my mother failed to rake into her possession (in fact, I just bought her the first copy that she's ever owned this past Christmas). Of course, the day when I could finally put an actual movie to the titular song and the lamppost swinging imagery came during a Speech and Drama class I took my sophomore year of high school. I, naturally, acted in a similar fashion as a lot of the other males in my class did at the notion of being forced to watch a Musical, as I more-or-less scoffed at the thought of it. However, I daresay that by the time the film had ended, a general majority of the males in the class harbored the same secret feelings towards the movie that I did – that is to say, they probably kind of liked it. Or at least, so I'd like to think.

Ever since that day that I actually watched the film, I've constantly said the same thing about the film to those that would question it, and that is this: if you're a fan of movies, you'll be a fan of Singin' in the Rain, as it's a movie about movies. The film is set during that era of film when silent pictures were quickly being phased out by the advent of the ‘talkies', and, as such, the plot of the film is cast against that particular backdrop. The eternally dancin', prancin' Gene Kelly stars as not only a star of silent pictures, but as THE star of the silent era, Don Lockwood (fictional, of course), whose films with co-star and fake love interest Lina Lamont (played by Jean Hagen, who's actually pretty hilarious in the film). In fact, it's a damn good thing that Lamont is a big silent film star, as she has a voice that sounds that of Fran Drescher's, except about five octaves higher. Naturally, The Jazz Singer is released to theaters near the beginning of the movie, and its success prods popular stars Lockwood and Lamont to try their hands at talkies, to horrid results (as even the tech guys don't know what the hell they're doing, apparently). Of course, the most undeniably egregious disaster of the film was the voice of Lamont, and so, Kelly and company think up a scheme that Milli Vanilli would be proud of by hiring a young lady to dub over big star Lamont's voice…which naturally leads to Lockwood and the young dub lady to fall in love. Aww, that's so sweet. Since the film is a Musical from what has pretty much been proven to be the Golden Age of Musicals, the real main plot motivation here is that of a budding true love scenario, but don't let that turn you off, if indeed you happen to be one of those sourpuss, achey-breaky heart kind of guys. The romance aspect of the film is miles behind the things about the film that makes it truly great for all to watch. The song and dance routines are possibly some of the best ever crafted for a Musical film, and it should be noted that nearly all of the choreography for the great dance numbers were thought up by star Kelly. The film also has a fantastic sense of humor, and one that just happens to be almost hilarious (or so I think), with one of the standout comedic parts being to (as I said before…) Hagen, with her absolutely atrocious voice and accent garnering a lot of the laughs for the film. Cute, charming, witty, entertaining…what's there not to love with this movie? While some could possibly argue that Singin' in the Rain might not appeal to those who hate Musicals, I'd contest that notion. Unless, of course, you don't like things that are fun, in which case you wouldn't like this movie…but, then again, who doesn't like fun things, really?

MAN-nerisms: It's a pretty funny movie, actually, and, like I said, if you like movies, you'll like Singin' in the Rain.

3. West Side Story (1961)



West Side Story was kind of a weird little film for me when I was growing up, and one that I had built up a considerable amount of mystery about, as it sat shuffled away in a box for years. You see, said mystery and intrigue came about from the fact that while my mother did indeed own the film on VHS for much of my life, she only, to the best of my knowledge, watched it once, and once only. I myself could actually barely remember the film itself really, so I was never really all that sure of whether I had watched it with her or not; however, I did know one thing for sure, and that was that my mother had watched every Musical that she had ever owned numerous times over my lifetime, and kept all of those films in their VHS iterations fairly handy and accessible, just in case she got the itch to pop one in the family VCR at any time…all of her Musicals, except for THIS one. Such a thing wasn't totally lost on me for very long, even at a relatively young age, and from the very first day that the realization came to me of how my mother treated West Side Story in a far disimilar fashion as to how she treated the others, I begin to wonder why. Eventually, after that initial stage of wondering ‘why' took root, that singular thought began a process of continuously and constantly growing, until the question had nearly completely morphed into not a thought at all, but an idea -- a certain degree of mystique. At that point, I no longer wondered why my mother didn't like it; instead, I wondered what the movie was, what was contained within those plastic trappings that would so turn off my mother, baiting her in under the guise of being another 'girly' Musical. To my knowledge (i.e. if memory serves…), West Side Story may very well be the very first Musical that I ever put into my VCR and sat down to deliberately watch of my own accord, without having to be more-or-less forced to do it. And when it was over, I could see just why my mother had separated the film from everything else...and that was because the film itself seperated itself from others in the genre, in my opinion.

You see, my mother was a sucker for Musicals like The Sound of Music and Oklahoma, the real feel good stuff. I don't really profess to love those movies, but the fact that stuck out to me was that those films (and films like those) were nowhere near as heavy in their proceedings as West Side Story was. West Side Story relates the story of two rival street gangs, the members of both being inner city teenagers, who all at one time in the film profess that if things were a little different, they'd all love to stop living the life that they are. The plot relates the story of a gang member that wishes to leave the life behind him once and for all, only to be drug back down into the gutters by things that, in a better world, wouldn't drag him back into destruction – things like his home, his neighborhood, and his friends. West Side Story seems to be a bit more mature than what was to found in similar Musicals from around the same period of time, and while it does indeed feature singing and dancing at some times where such things would never happen, it's never jarring enough to be an annoyance like in some Musicals (in my opinion, at least). As it is, West Side Story stands as being one of my favorites of the Musical genre, and since many consider it to be one of the predominant classics in the genre, that makes it feel all the better to me.

MAN-nerisms: It's a film about street gangs, and climaxes with a big street rumble. That nearly qualifies it as being Scorcese-like.

2. The Blues Brothers (1980)



My interest in things that have to do with the seminal late-night comedy show Saturday Night Live pretty much waxes and wanes every so often. On the whole, I honestly have had very little interest in watching the show for most of my life, although there was a period of time there in the mid to late-90's where I watched the show somewhat faithfully, during what could possibly be called the Silver Age (or maybe even the Bronze Age, as it featured the likes of Will Ferrell and Norm MacDonald) of SNL. However, by and large, the show's never really been on my own personal list of ‘must see television' programs…but the brief period of time in which I was a rather staunch fan of the show prompted me to search out as much as the original iterations of SNL that I could possibly (which wasn't all that hard a few years later, as the classic episodes from the original cast began airing in re-run fashion fairly heavily on ETV, I think). Of course, such an undertaking eventually led me to discover the Blues Brothers. Much like a lot of other people, I found the incredibly cool antics of John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd to be quite eye-catching and impressionable (not to mention hilarious), although I should add that, heresy though it may very well be, my very first foray into the realms of the Blues Brothers on film came by way of Blues Brothers 2000…and, yeah, it wasn't really anything to write home about. It actually wasn't until I journeyed off to college and met a guy who was more-or-less obsessed with John Belushi, that I actually sat down and experienced the original Blues Brothers film.

And how glorious of a film it was. Sure, the movie may have a simplistic plot (as some movie critics have inexplicably used to justify their reviews for the thing), as it features the two titular brothers on a mission from God to reform their legendary blues band in order save the Penguin (a nun) and an orphanage from going under…but, then again, don't nearly ALL Musicals have a somewhat simplistic plot? Yeah, the movie may have been a little heavy on the car chase sequences…but, in my opinion, the fact that the Bluesmobile is so awesome more than makes up for it, with its cop motor, cop shocks, and cop tires. As well, the film features Princess Leia as a murderous, psychotic ex-lover of Jake Blues, and how can anyone not love THAT? Oddly enough, I know of a few people who really don't care for the movie, as they claim that they ‘just don't see what's so funny about it'. However, the ‘funny' of the film (and I myself happen to think that the film is hilarious) is only have of the great things that you get here. The other half? You shouldn't even have to ask…but if you do, let it be said right here, right now, that The Blues Brothers has some of the most awesome music in a Musical EVER. Period – end of story. Of course, it's hard NOT to have some of the greatest music of all time featured in your film when your film harbors the talents of the like of Ray Charles, Anita Franklin, James Brown, and John Lee Hooker. In fact, it's almost cheating to say that The Blues Brothers has the greatest music ever featured in a Musical when you know the legendary musicians that were involved with the picture…but then again, if you going to hold that against it, then you either haven't seen the Light, or you're drunk. That Night Train's a mean wine.

MAN-nerisms: It's the Blues Brothers, and they're the epitome of the word ‘cool'. That should be enough.

1. Grease (1978)



There should actually be no question as to why Grease would get the Number One spot on this list. It's actually pretty cut-and-dry: Grease is just cool, plain and simple. Oh sure, The Blues Brothers is cool too, probably even a smidge-bit cooler, but ultimately, the reason that I put Grease above that film is fairly simple: I think that, all in all, Grease may be the more easily accessible film to some guys. Or maybe not…but in the end, I'd reckon that a lot of guys would've dreamed to have been like Danny Zuko when they were in high school. For me personally, I've always had some strange fascination with films about teenagers growing up in 1950's America, such as movies like American Graffiti and Rebel Without a Cause (or even the first Back to the Future), and so it goes that when I was a kid, I'd watch Grease over and over again. In my opinion, the music, the clothes, the cars, the guys, the girls…everything just seemed to be so much cooler back then in the 1950's. At least, as far as how those movie depicted ‘back then' to be, it seemed cool.

Beyond my own personal thoughts on American culture and what-not circa the 1950's, it's almost common knowledge that the film Grease is one of the greatest Musicals of all time, as it's regularly featured in most peoples top five in the genre. And, honestly, it deserves it. Everybody that plays a part in the picture is perfect in their roles, and has pretty much become synonymous with their respective parts. For example, I couldn't imagine going to see the Grease play on Broadway and NOT see John Travolta or Olivia Newton-John in the roles of Danny and Sandy, respectively, nor even hear their voices as they sing the ‘climactic' song that closes the movie, ‘You're the One that I Want'…which has become timeless in its own regard since the song is given a considerable amount of playtime on classic radio stations to this day (at least, it's played a lot in my particular area, on 96.7). Of course, one could state that the music featured in the film isn't particularly music from the ‘50's, but more along the lines of ‘70's disco tunes, but that's more or less picking nits. I mean, really, there's not much I can say about Grease that nobody pretty much knows, as I'm sure that about ninety-nine percent of people have seen the film at least once in their lives. Or, at least, all the cool kids have.

MAN-nerisms: It's Grease. It's pretty much all about a group of teenagers lusting after sex. And you like sex, don't you? DON'T YOU?

Ok, that's it for this week. Happy birthday to my girlfriend! I've already got next week's list started, as it was pushed back a week in order to do this, and I'll tell you this – it's the ten best movies from one of the most underrated actors ever. Also, after quite a bit of thought, I've decided that at some point I may indeed post some fictional writings of mine or maybe a few essays or something that breaks down certain things that I enjoy. When that day comes, I'll provide a link. See you then, and thanks for reading!