Series Link 02.10.09: Friday 13th

Posted by Arnold Furious on 02.10.2009

More Jason Voorhees related mayhem ahead of the release of the re-make!

Series Link #13th: Friday 13th

More Jason Voorhees related mayhem ahead of the release of the re-make!

SERIES LINK

Or Furious on Franchises…wish I'd thought of that 6 months ago.

Frequently when reviewing movies I notice I'm missing sequels here and there from classic series. In line with one of my key film watching beliefs I'll be making a point of tidying up some of my sequel history. The belief in question being that as long as I enjoyed the original I'll watch any sequel made of it. I don't know where this belief came from but it's one that seems to work out for me quite frequently and there are many film series where I have enjoyed multiple sequels based on my love and respect for the initial instalment (Alien, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rocky etc).

Series Link #1 – The Pink Panther
Series Link #2 – The Road To…
Series Link #3 – Planet of the Apes
Series Link #4 – St. Trinian's
Series Link #5 – Jaws
Series Link #6 – A Nightmare on Elm Street
Series Link #7 – Norman Wisdom
Series Link #8 – The Exorcist
Series Link #9 – Critters
Series Link #10 – Superman
Series Link #11 - Ghoulies
Series Link #12 – Dirty Harry

Plus don't forget to check out my blog here where I throw quickfire reviews up whenever possible. Like Furious on Film. Only much quicker and less frequently. There's a review of the Wrestler on there at the moment along with some other stuff.

For this thirteenth edition of Series Link I'm taking a look at the second of the "Big Three" 80's stalk and slash movies. I've already done A Nightmare on Elm Street, which is probably the most entertaining and innovative of the slasher series, which culminated in Freddy vs. Jason. It only seems right that Jason gets the next look in. I really couldn't do them back to back because of the tediousness of watching so many slasher movies in a row. Be warned right now that as with the Freddy's Fatalities sections on the Elm Street reviews the Voorhees' Victims sections throughout this will contain **SPOILERS**. Consider yourself warned.

Series Link #13th:

Friday 13th.

How many films?

Eleven including Freddy Vs Jason. The re-boot is due out on, when else, 13th February.

Starring?

Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King (2 times), Kevin Bacon, Warrington Gillette, Richard Brooker, Ted White, CJ Graham, Kane Hodder (4 times), Amy Steel, Dana Kimmell, Kimberly Beck, Corey Feldman (2 times), Crispin Glover, John Shepherd, Thom Matthews, Lar Park-Lincoln, Tiffany Paulsen, John D. LeMay, Lexa Doig.

Directed by?

Sean S. Cunningham, Steve Miner (2 times), Joseph Zito, Danny Steinman, Tom McLoughlin, John Carl Buechler, Rob Hedden, Adam Marcus, James Isaac.

Series Span:

1980-? 29 years and counting!

Friday 13th (1980)



Better known as a producer Sean Cunningham took the directors chair on Friday 13th having made a reputation for violence alongside Wes Craven when he produced Last House on the Left. His intention wasn't to get into a franchise however and when Friday 13th was successful he bailed on the sequels. He did return to produce some of the later, more ambitious Jason projects however. His original opinion of Friday 13th is that it would be lucky to be green-lit let alone turn a profit. He was proved wrong and it still stands as his biggest achievement. Interesting note here is that the writer of Friday 13th was one Victor Miller. Now, Miller didn't really go on to do anything else but got paid every time his characters were used in the sequels. Writers have to love franchises! Apparently not though. He went on record as saying he's not even watched the sequels because he doesn't like the idea of Jason as the killer.

Cast wise you have a bunch of kids and Betsy Palmer as Jason's Mom. One of the kids went on to success later though…Kevin Bacon. He's the Johnny Depp of the Jason franchise. Two years later he was in Diner and 4 years later he appeared in Footloose and made his career. Star Adrienne King went behind the camera, after the sequel, and has worked on a number of high profile films including Titanic and Jerry Maguire. The plot is a familiar one. A bunch of teens get picked off by a knife wielding maniac in the shadows. The plot behind this goes back to 1958 where at Camp Crystal Lake a young Jason Voorhees drowns because the camp's workers were too busy making out. That's what they did in the 50's right? Kids making out, left, right and centre. Because of the improper conduct of the councillors young Jason didn't get the care and attention he deserved. Mrs Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) holds a slight grudge as a result and goes around stabbing them up. I think it's a well enough known cinematic titbit that I'm not giving much away by saying that Jason's mother is the killer in Friday 13th. In doing so she displays a surprising amount of strength and a remarkable tenacity. After all she's held a grudge against Camp Crystal Lake and the kids that work there for over 20 years. Let it go! So what if they've re-opened the camp! Geez, get over it.

To be fair I can understand why she'd want to butcher an array of irritating teenagers. After all I work with a few of them and see more again down the local pub. A nice cull every once in a while from a knife wielding lunatic might do some good. Especially Ned in this movie. I hate that kid. Terrible Humphrey Bogart impression. Every time something happens there he is with a shitty wisecrack or bad joke or just being an asshole. If Pamela hadn't killed the bastard someone else would have done sooner or later. Part of the fun of Friday 13th is not the expected arrival of Jason but rather the fun that lies in watching various characters be set up as the potential killers as the film develops. Including town nutjob Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney) and a subtle character build on camp owner Steve Christy (Peter Brouwer). Both of whom could easily be the killer. The early shots of the killer stalking around in the woods does continually hint at a male killer too. Big arms, rugged clothing. But everything is in fleeting glimpses.

The actual killings gather pace alarmingly as the director loses patience with a slow build, perhaps questioning why no-one would notice all the missing people. But he's done such a good job of building several guys as the possible killer that he's then able to cut away back to Steve Christy and eliminate him from the running. So it's gotta be Crazy Ralph right? What kind of franchise would have a killer called Crazy Ralph? Hey, did you check out the new Crazy Ralph movie, the Revenge of Crazy Ralph? Er, no. I just don't see him lurking around while the music cues do the "KI-KI-KI, MA-MA-MA" bit. Back to Mrs Voorhees anyway; what was her problem? The kids at Camp Crystal Lake in the original film don't do anything wrong. There are no children there. They don't abuse their positions. They're getting picked off because of the failings of counsellors at Crystal Lake 23 years previously. Harsh.

The main issue with Friday 13th is that the killings don't really follow any kind of pattern. Sure, Alice (Adrienne King) is one of the more interesting characters but the others are just picked off at random. Leaving Bill to survive right to the end is a curious decision too as he's one of the least developed characters in the whole thing. Also the death's occurring off-screen is quite irritating. The ones that take place onscreen are far more entertaining (Bacon in particular). I know there's a "less is more" mentality towards showing very little that has worked in many films (what you don't see is more disturbing etc) but Friday 13th benefitted from some excellent special effects, for 1980 anyway, and the onscreen deaths were really well handled. Another issue is that no one seems to think anything is wrong when people start disappearing. Look at the bloody axe that Bill & Alice find! There's no logical explanation there. While you need to take a leap of faith for much of Friday 13th it is a decent addition to the slasher genre. True it doesn't really measure up to either Nightmare or Halloween but it created an iconic character nonetheless…although he barely appears here only raised from the dead for the final moments.

The final act is a bit of a drag and Mrs Voorhees doesn't have the ideal appearance of a serial killing maniac although Betsy Palmer does a good job with the character. Friday 13th remains a fine example of a slasher movie. And it did exactly what it set out to do; make money. It cost $700,000 and went on to gross nearly $40M in the US and spawned a host of sequels during the 1980's. Tom Savini's gore effects are excellent and will please the fans of gore while Harry Manfredini's score combines to form a memorable audio/visual feast.

Sidenotes – Betsy Palmer only did the film because she wanted a new car. She called the script "a piece of shit". Writer Victor Miller said Jason was a plot device and it was not intended that he carry on his mother's work. Adrienne King didn't want to make the movie originally because of the violence. Sally Field auditioned for Alice.

VOORHEES' VICTIMS – Who did Mamma Voorhees hack apart in Friday 13th?

1. Prologue. Two camp councillors are killed back in '58 before we even get underway. First is fruity looking Barry (Willie Adams).
2. Prologue. That'd be a double stabbing courtesy of the Family Voorhees. Second isn't shown but is confirmed later as Claudette (Debra Hayes).
3. 21 minutes. Talkative and fun loving Annie (Robbi Morgan) gets her throat slashed after taking a ride from a stranger. What did we learn kiddies?
4. 38 minutes. Ned (Mark Nelson) is thankfully silenced after going exploring on his own like a regular Billy No Mates. 38 minutes was long enough to endure his inane twittering. My only concern is that he didn't die a violent and brutal enough death.
5. 41 minutes. Jack (Kevin Bacon), having flaunted with danger by breaking two major horror movie rules (had sex and smoked pot), is stabbed through the neck with an arrowhead by Mrs V who'd been hiding under their bed like a total perv. Its pretty horrific and the best death in the first movie.
6. 44 minutes. Marcie (Jeannine Taylor) had also had sex and is thus, dead. Mrs Voorhees weapon of choice this time; the good old fashioned AXE IN THE HEAD! BOSH! Although to be fair I don't think Mrs Voorhees was the killer here but rather Booker T dressed as a lumberjack. At least that's how it happens in my mind.
7. 55 minutes. Brenda (Laurie Bartram) gets goaded onto the archery range by the sound of children shouting.
8. 61 minutes. Steve (Peter Brouwer) gets the epic last words of "hi, what are you doing out in this mess?" Perhaps he should have opted for "say, whatcha doin' with that big old machete?" Moments later his insides are all over the floor. He sure looks surprised don't he!
9. 68 minutes. Bill (a very bland Harry Crosby) is nailed to the door of the generator room with three arrows. Not sure how Pamela managed that one.

Friday 13th Part 2 (1981)



With Friday 13th being a big success there was an immediate clamouring for a sequel. After all even with an inflated budget of $1M for the follow up it was still remarkably cheap. Part 2 went on to amass $21M at the box office alone. Adrienne King, having survived the first film, found herself on the wrong end of a weird stalker who broke into her house. She agreed to appear in the sequel but didn't want to pursue an acting career because of the experience. Thanks to the weird ending of the first film the logical choice to replace the decapitated Mrs Voorhees was her undead son Jason.

Steve Miner (House, Warlock, Halloween H20) took over from Sean Cunningham behind the camera and Warrington Gillette was cast as Jason although most of the time he was played by stuntman Steve Dash. Seeing as Adrienne King didn't particularly want to do the sequel she appears in a pre-credits mini-movie. Which have become quite common in horror. I'm thinking about Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween Resurrection or Drew Barrymore in Scream. Still haunted by her memories of Camp Crystal Lake poor Alice is jumping at shadows until Jason puts her out of her misery. This is Jason's first recorded kill incidentally. So her unwillingness to participate further in the series lead Adrienne King to a small milestone. The first of many kills btw. Jason is one of the most killing-ist characters in movie history.

And wouldn't you know it…they've re-opened Camp Crystal Lake! Even after the massacre "five years ago" that left ten dead. You'd think that'd be enough for them to close down the facilities and perhaps not filling the "doomed" area with teenage kids. Well, in theory the new camp is across the lake but that's still just a ridiculous idea! Say, that other camp five minutes walk from here suffered a massacre last year but I'm sure this one will be fine. Jason prowls around the woods. Like mother, like son. And watches as the counsellors arrive for training. And wouldn't you know it…there's even more of them this time! Once again Crazy Ralph appears issuing a warning suggesting that perhaps this time he's the killer? Yeah, right. Meanwhile Jason has become a legend…the stuff of camp fire stories. Even though these campers are the first to return to Crystal Lake since the grizzly events in the first film.

When you think about it the franchise makes no sense. Pamela thinks that Jason died 20-odd years beforehand by drowning and yet Jason grew up in the woods around Camp Crystal Lake. He didn't try to contact his Mom? They didn't check the lake for the body? Or are we just going with the whole supernatural aspect and that Jason did die? The sequel also suffers from having too many characters, which are all underdeveloped. So when the killing starts it's hard to care. The tension is quite nicely handled by Steve Miner though; who's an accomplished enough director to establish set pieces like the car that won't start. And for those complaining about Jason running in the 2009 re-boot…he runs in this film and wears a burlap sack instead of a hockey mask. I'd completely forgotten that he did run and it's kinda weird seeing a Jason in between human and unstoppable monster. The best example of this being when Ginny kicks Jason SQUAAR in the nuts.

Unlike the finality of Friday 13th the sequel has somewhat unusual storytelling at the film's conclusion with an unmasked Jason attacking Ginny and Paul then disappearing somewhere only for Ginny to wake up on a stretcher. I guess that was supposed to be a play on the ending of the first film where Alice imagines she's been attacked by Jason. I do like the idea that all the heavy drinking party animals who go to the bar instead of staying at the camp survive though! How awesome is that? You want to stay at camp and be boring? Fine, but you'll be dead while we're getting drunk! Sweet. Proof if it were ever required that Jason doesn't mind alcoholism and that drinking is a good thing. Also Friday 13th Part 2 is one of the more feasible of the series. Jason is a real person here. An uneducated woodsman with a shrine to his poor dead mother…the only one who understood him. This is probably the last time that Friday 13th clings to reality but it makes it somewhat more frightening.

VOORHEES' VICTIMS…Jason takes over the family killin'!

1. 11 minutes. Alice (Adrienne King). In a pre-credits sequence Jason stops off to avenge his mother by sticking a screwdriver in the side of Alice's head.
2. 30 minutes. Crazy Ralph (Walt Gorney). Prospective killer finds himself garrotted for spying on young lovers. Seems Jason doesn't like Peeping Tom's much either!
3. 40 minutes. Deputy Winslow (Jack Marks) makes the mistake of discovering Jason's lair and gets a hammer stuck in his cranium for it.
4. 48 minutes. Scott (Russell Todd) gets caught in a trap whilst eyeballing skinny dipping Terri (Kirsten Parker, rrrr). After leaving him hanging for while Jason just takes the easy kill with some throat slitting.
5. 49 minutes. Terri (Kirsten Parker). Presumably stabbed…or something off camera. Too bad, she had an ass like BLAOUW! Her dead body isn't shown until the 76 minute.
6. 58 minutes. Wheelchair bound cripple Mark (Tom McBride) gets a machete across the face. The wheelchair then rolls down a flight of stairs…presumably for laughs because I did.
7. 60 minutes. Jeff (Bill Randolph).
8. 60 minutes. Sandra (Marta Kober). The couple are making the beast with two backs when interrupted in mid-coitus by a nosy Jason. Remember the slasher movie rule of never have sex? That goes double here as a spear leaves them permanently attached.
9. 62 minutes. Vicky (Lauren Marie Taylor) is the first to see Jason's burlap sack. She discovers the killings and gets slashed up a treat for her troubles.

Friday 13th Part 3-D (1982)



With the franchise a confirmed success and the ending of the second film left suitably open another sequel wriggled forth in short order. Friday 13th was one of the earliest franchises to jump on the 3-D bandwagon beating out fellow crapfest Jaws III by 11 months and also Amityville 3-D. 3-D was a gimmick that suited horror films. It was an ideal way to scare up some box office by having patrons shit themselves at the killer coming out of the screen at them. Steve Miner returned as director for his second outing behind the 13th camera. He's the only director to date to direct two of these. Perhaps their repetitiveness is a little irritating from the creative standpoint? Although at this point it's not a particularly repetitive franchise aside from the ‘slasher at the lake' aspect. The two killers have had a different approach and different reasoning. Again the budget was inflated here due to the series' success and $4M was available! Tom Savini would have licked his lips at that (if he'd taken the job)! What the fuck else were they going to spend money on?

Richard Brooker took over as Jason here. He was less sizeable than Steve Dash but wore padding in order to make himself look bigger. This would mark the first time that Jason sports a hockey mask having originally worn the burlap sack in part 2. He gains this from a practical joker in the group of kids that gets massacred. The film follows on directly from Part 2 with Jason having survived the battle at Camp Crystal Lake. Seeing as the Lake is closed after the discovery of so many dead bodies there we've decided not to re-open the camp for kids! Yay, intelligence! Instead Jason is left roaming around looking for people to kill because it's all he knows. Poor guy. Part 3 is remarkably awful but mainly because of the 3-D effects that are no longer present. So every scene with a "scare" in it has something flying towards the camera like a snake or a stick designed to rattle people in the theatre. I guess it worked because the movie made a tonne of money but that doesn't make it any easier to watch on DVD.

The most annoying character in Friday so far is fat prankster Shelly (Larry Zerner). He pretends to be dead, for kicks, kinda like a fat humourless, useless Harold from Harold & Maude. The blubbering, blundering sack of crap runs afoul of a motorcycle gang and brings down attention on all his buddies who are holidaying at Higgins Haven. I guess Shelly is a fine horror character though because as soon as he was introduced I was begging someone to take a pneumatic drill to his eyeball. Part 3 is one of the most boring of the Friday series. There's a spell where Jason gets his mask around the hour mark where it picks up but practically everything before that is dull. The only real character highlight is Chris (Dana Kimmell) who has a prior experience of meeting Jason in the woods. That earmarks her as a potential heroin from the early going and soon as everyone else has been hacked to pieces; there she is!

The not very special effects override much of the action in the film. The only reason to see it is to see Jason gain his trademark look. And even then Brooker seems a little lightweight as the deranged and unstoppable monster. It doesn't have the realism of his appearance in Part 2 nor the driven and animalistic approach of later films starring Kane Hodder. Along with the gimmick failure it makes Part 3 a bust. Yeah, Jason debuts FULL ON here and appears to be far harder to kill but that doesn't make it a good movie. It was originally intended to end the series at three films, which is why this one has the circular feeling at the end that everything is sort of wrapped up nicely. Unfortunately it made a tonne of money ($36M, the most of all the Friday sequels apart from Vs Freddy) so along came part 4.

VOORHEES' VICTIMS – Round Two, Jason!

1. 15 minutes. Harold, the store owner (Steve Susskind). He takes a meat cleaver to the chest after Jason steals some clothes from him. Bye, thanks for coming!
2. 16 minutes. Harold's wife gets a screwdriver in the neck after being scared by a 3-D mouse!
3. 40 minutes. Coloured biker girl Fox (Gloria Charles) gets forked through the neck in the barn. I guess Jason don't like her kind…bikers that is!
4. 40 minutes. Loco (Kevin O'Brien). On discovering the fate of his biker comrade he gets forked too. He also makes sure to stop off and wave that fork in the camera so we can see how 3-D it is. Spooky!
5. 41 minutes. And the biker gang is toast as the final biker Ali (Nick Savage) goes at Jason with a machete. Jason overpowers him and bludgeons his head in. He doesn't actually die but Jason finishes him later so it still counts.
6. Somewhere around 57 minutes. Shelley gets his throat slashed off camera. He finally drops dead somewhere around 65 minutes. "Nice makeup job, man".
7. 58 minutes. Vera (Catherine Parks) gets shot in the eye by the newly masked Jason. The 3-D effect is truly terrible.
8. 60 minutes. Andy (Jeffrey Rogers) gets hacked in two for doing his stupid ‘walking on my hands' piece. ‘Bout time!
9. 61 minutes. Debbie (Tracie Savage) learns that having sex in a slasher movie is practically death but SHOWERING afterwards is just asking for a Psycho moment. But instead of paying tribute to Psycho they pay tribute to themselves by having her go to bed and get knifed through the neck from underneath like with Kevin Bacon in #1.
10. 65 minutes. Pot smoking hippy stoner Chuck (David Katims) gets electrocuted.
11. 66 minutes. Chili (Rachel Howard) realises everyone else is dead (duh) and gets a red hot poker through the abdomen for her troubles.
12. 69 minutes. Unusually preppy dorkwad hick Rick (Paul Kratka) has his head squashed until his eyeballs pop out. Couldn't have happened to a nicer idiot. Another "awesome" (IE terrible) 3-D special effect for that one!

Friday 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)



So here it is, the finale, the ending, the final part of Friday 13th! Um, apart from the seven sequels that followed this of course. See, a studio is always highly reluctant to kill off a horror franchise if they can squeeze more sequels out of it. Joe Zito takes over behind the camera for the "final" chapter. You may know him from Red Scorpion or Chuck Norris vehicle Missing in Action. This is quite a famous instalment in the Friday series because there are several famous actors in here. Corey Feldman takes over the hero role from a string of females and both Judie Aronson (Hilly from Weird Science) and Crispin Glover (Marty's Dad in Back to the Future) are included in the cast. Stuntman Ted White takes over as Jason for this one. The film starts right where Part 3 finishes with a very dead Jason being taken to a hospital morgue. He wakes up, because by this point you can't kill him, and starts stabbing people up a treat.

For some unspeakably stupid reason Camp Crystal Lake has opened up again. Among the people staying there are a bunch of teenagers, with a death wish apparently, and the Jarvis family including young Tommy (Corey Feldman). Ted White, the actor who played Jason this time, is the second actor to refer to his Friday 13th film as a "piece of shit". He had his name removed from the credits and claimed he only made the film for the money. Speaking of which the film was made for $1.8M, mostly paying for Tom Savini's gore effects, and grossed over $30M. No wonder Paramount wouldn't let the franchise die! It was a cash cow. Cheap and easy to make and big money makers.

If Friday 13th films have generally appealed to the lowest common denominators. Usually sex and violence. Part 4 however takes it even further with the film containing the largest amount of nudity of all the Friday movies. Mostly with a young Corey Feldman eyeballing nubile teens skinny dipping and misbehaving. Of course that's not a bad thing…that's a good thing! Everyone loves tits. Corey's Tommy may be the hero but the voice of reason is Erich Anderson's Rob. He's a backpacker who's well aware that there's a problem at Camp Crystal Lake because his sister Sandra (Marta Kober in Part 2) was killed there. Nothing in the Friday series can compete with DANCIN' CRISPIN GLOVER!



He sure has some moves! He also has enough personality to make this group of kids stand out from the usual bunch. Plus Judie Aronson, with added John Hughes stars shouldn't be naked should they factor, is the sexiest in Crystal Lake history. Her scene of naked night swimming was so hot that it's been lifted for the remake. Nothing says vulnerable like a naked girl skinny dipping at night. Hell, even Steven Spielberg knows that! Unfortunately for Judie it was a bit cold when she shot her nude scene so she ended up with hypothermia.

Final Chapter is actually one of the better Friday movies even if it's very generic and similar to the past films. It's really the first time Jason becomes this prowling killing machine that just can't be stopped. It helps that Tom Savini returned and does his best work out of the two films he worked on here. The continued insistence on a twist ending is rather frustrating and resulted in the screwy fifth film. But as far as teens go this bunch is more interesting than usual and there are more of them! Allowing Jason to go completely kill crazy and rack up the body count. Not only is this, arguably, the best of all the sequels but its way better than the original too. You could conceivably skip over the first three films and check this out as the definitive Jason movie as his look is perfected and everyone knows his Mom killed everyone in the first movie, which is the twist that makes it worth seeing the first time around. Ted White is also my second favourite Jason behind Kane Hodder. According to rumour and scuttlebutt he didn't talk to the other actors on set so they'd be more freaked out by him. METHOD!

VOORHEES' VICTIMS – One last time?

1. 13 minutes. Axel (Bruce Mahler), a morgue attendant with a penchant for using the word "Christmas" while cursing, gets his head removed with a hacksaw.
2. 13 minutes. Nurse Morgan (Lisa Freeman) is already quite jumpy around all the creepy dead bodies. Jason makes her jump slightly more with a steely knife injection!
3. 19 minutes. Morbidly obese hitchhiker (Bonnie Hellman) can't get a ride but she sure can get stabbed through the neck! Jason doesn't just kill the pretty girls.
4. 41 minutes. The lovely Samantha (Judie Aronson) gets herself stabbed through a dingy while night swimming in the nude. Damn she looked good when she went though!
5. 45 minutes. Paul (Alan Hayes) goes looking for his missing, and naked, girlfriend Samantha but Jason makes short work of his libido by stabbing him in the crotch. Ooohhhh. That's gonna leave a mark.
6. 49 minutes. Party pooper Terri (Carey More) leaves the kids at the Camp. But despite not having sex she still gets speared by Jason's love of sharp objects. Some people just can't catch a break!
7. Mrs Jarvis (Joan Freeman). Tommy's Mom gets whacked in an off camera death around 52 minutes.
8. 58 minutes. Jimbo (Crispin Glover) gets his hand stabbed with a corkscrew and then his face slashed by Jason…who clearly isn't fond of wine! Or dancing!
9. 59 minutes. Best death in the movie! Tina (Camille More) gets dragged out of the bedroom window and thrown onto the roof of a car. Jason + trellis = awesome!
10. 62 minutes. Douchebag Ted (Lawrence Monoson) gets hacked through the screen he's watching vintage pornography on.
11. 65 minutes. Doug (Peter Barton) is taking a shower in a reverse Psycho kinda deal but Jason opts not to use a knife and instead pushes his head into the wall. Can't beat a bit of skull crushing!
12. 66 minutes. Geez, how many deaths are in this thing? Sara (Barbara Howard) is trying to flee when Jason lifts the axe through the door from the Shining. Here's Jason!
13. 72 minutes. Rob (Erich Anderson) makes it a baker's dozen for Jason! I can't tell what implement Jason uses to hack his neck apart but it's some sort of garden tool. A trowel perhaps?

Friday 13th: A New Beginning (1985)



Well if there's ever a franchise that didn't let the main character being dead effect the ability to make more sequels it's Friday 13th. Which is kinda sad when you think about it because "The Final Chapter" was the perfect conclusion to the Friday series. Jason was very definitively killed by Tommy Jarvis and it was the best instalment in the series! You end on the win, surely? But of course this is Hollywood and the cash cow needed milking at least once more. Director here is Danny Steinmann and this is the final film of his career as he was involved in a serious motorcycle crash shortly afterwards. The fifth Friday movie was in trouble right from the start. Corey Feldman was set to reprise his role as Tommy Jarvis and give us a good connection with the existing series. But he was signed on to star in the Goonies thus reducing his role to a pre-credits cameo. The nightmare that Tommy has of Jason Voorhees at the opening of Part V is pretty much the only entertaining scene. A glimpse of what could have been.

Seeing as Jason Voorhees' only appears in a nightmare in Part V it means he adds no kills to his body count. See, "A New Beginning" featured a copycat killer replacing the dead Jason in the antagonist role. Fans naturally didn't enjoy this twist and Jason was back in Part VI. This film also screws with the whole time process of the series. Because Tommy goes from being a little kid in Part IV to being an adult in Part V. The plot sees Tommy (John Shepherd) in a halfway house called Pinehurst, which appears to have no rules at all, recovering from his mental collapse post-Jason. The film suggests that one of two things is happening. 1. Tommy was so affected by his experiences with Jason that he has become a psychotic killer himself. 2. Jason isn't really dead and he's followed Tommy to Pinehurst to carry on his brutal rampage. In theory this is fine. You tease one thing then deliver the other. However Part V teases both things and delivers neither.

The cast of teens is less tolerable than usual. Dominick Brascia as Joey is particularly awful. His character is totally unbelievable in every way. The bumbling, tubby idiot with chocolate all over his face thankfully only lasts one scene before Vic (Mark Venturini) goes nuts and hacks him to pieces with an axe. They clearly mourn his loss. "Joey's death isn't easy for any of us...so let's just have breakfast." Joey who? Anthony Barrile and Corey Parker appear as a couple of greasers and they're both terrible too. I know acting is generally not high on the list of requirements when auditioning for Friday 13th (screaming ability ranks a lot higher) but these guys suck pretty bad. The potential fun of Part V was basically that they could do something different for once. But they don't. They gather a bunch of teens together and then kill them off one at a time. Much like the other movies. But because there's no Jason there's no presence. It's just an even more generic slasher movie. And being a more generic slasher movie than one of the Friday 13th sequels is saying something!

The characters really start grating after a while. Ethel (Carol Locatell) and Junior (Ron Sloan) as a hick mother and son (kind of a play on Pamela & Jason, I guess) are particularly annoying. Billy (Bob DeSimone) and Lana (Rebecca Wood) are bad too. Lana at least gets her tits out but in terms of annoying me…I'm quite happy when Roy gets his axe going. At least by having such annoying characters I'm not too bothered about them getting the wrong end of something sharp. But again, without Jason (and Tom Savini's special effects) it's just another generic stalk and slash movie. And not even a fun one. The only real positive is three gratuitous nude scenes from actresses Juliette Cummins, Rebecca Wood and especially the aptly named Debi Sue Voorhees. The film is much maligned among fans because of the lack of Jason Voorhees and substitute Roy (Dick Wieand) doesn't really cut it. But worse still is the underlying theme that was present in the earlier films (revenge – first Pamela wanting her son back, then Jason wanting his mother back) is completely absent. Now it's just a guy in a mask stabbing people (the wrap up reveals a similar motive but its weak). Even in Part IV Jason returns to Crystal Lake in search of continued revenge. So what's the point of Part V? By this point…money. A New Beginning is one the costliest of the Friday movies but still made a healthy profit. So inevitably there would be a Part VI. On this showing it's entirely unwelcome.

Jason Lives: Friday 13th Part VI (1986)



This is, incidentally, the first Friday 13th movie I ever saw. Late night TV in the 80's. I suspect on BBC 2 at midnight. Jason Lives marks the beginning of Jason as a truly supernatural force. Previously Jason was just a deranged mountain man. Possessing freaky retard strength from cutting down trees and whatnot. In Part VI Jason is entirely and definitely dead having had his head split in two at the end of Friday 4. In fact he's down to bones and maggots when Tommy Jarvis (now played by Thom Matthews) opens up his grave. In a ridiculous turn of events Tommy stabs Jason with a metal railing and the railing is subsequently struck by lightning thus reanimating the serial slasher. CJ Graham takes over as Jason Voorhees and he's one of the better ones despite his lack of acting experience. Perhaps no Ted White or Kane Hodder but he's close. The look of Jason has changed somewhat for this one with his undead zombie appearance allowing the mask to hide new horrors.

Jason Lives is quite tongue in cheek and pokes fun at the genre and previous Friday movies. Because the plot is so patently ridiculous right from the get go we're in no doubt as what kind of movie Jason Lives is going to be. "I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask isn't going to be friendly" is a line one of the early victims uses. Jason Lives has these little self referential moments that puts it ahead of it's time and perhaps a pre-cursor to the likes of Scream. Not only that it makes Jason Lives one of the more enjoyable Friday movies. They even point out that Camp Crystal Lake is so cursed that they've changed the name. But they're still stupid enough to re-open it. It's hard to say how long its been since the first Friday movie but people in town don't have that short a memory. This time we even have an operational camp. The children are actually here! If Jason wasn't so selective he'd have massacred himself up about 30-40 kills here.

After the ludicrous return from the dead Jason gets some jolly little moments. Picking off a couple of teens in a car is standard fare but the executives on a paintball afternoon is new. Not only is it daft but the characters are suitably recognisable and annoying that it makes for a fun scene. And fun scenes have been in short supply in the 13th series. This shows how low the series has sunk and that it's taken a new comedic direction. And yet it beats the same old shit approach that saw 3 & 5 be so lousy. And at least Jason has a reason for existing here. Because Tommy Jarvis dug him up and stabbed him he's off to Camp Crystal Lake (renamed Camp Forest Green) to look for him. He just happens to run into a lot of people he doesn't like the look of in the process. Kids, paintballers, drunks, more kids.

While there's a decline in quality as the Friday movies continue Jason Lives is still a good entry in the series. The self referential nature of the film and the sheer body count (at 18 kills the most Jason kills to this point) make it a worthy entry. Plus Jason becomes definitive here with the machete and zombie walk. Most people remember this Jason as THE Jason. True it's hard to distinguish between Friday 13th movies as they're all pretty samey (a bunch of kids in one place get stabbed up one at a time). I heard someone refer to Jason as a retarded younger brother of Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers and that does hold water to a certain extent. While none of the Friday films are classics by any stretch of the imagination and the series is generally held in low esteem in the movie community there are still fun entries. In this one there are two heroes. Tommy and the sheriff's daughter Megan (Jennifer Goode). She's one of the camp councillors and she's a little rebellious. She sees excitement in bad boy Tommy Jarvis and agrees to help him stop Jason.

Weird thing about Jason Lives is that unlike practically every other Jason movie there's no nudity. Part V is terrible but at least is has tits. Jason Lives has Alice Cooper music though! Unlike the best Friday movie "The Final Chapter" this film isn't really able to retain the entertainment factor throughout and the film tails off after 45 minutes or so and goes back to the old boring formula. A pity because the reinvention in the first half showed genuine promise. Once the film has regained it's pacing the ending is decent mainly because it retains the principle of Jason wanting revenge. Something that had gone somewhat astray during the film's runtime. In all this is one of the more enjoyable Jason movies.

VOORHEES VICTIMS – Undead Jason makes for more killing!

1. 7 minutes. Jason wastes no time in getting his ‘kill' on. No sooner is he back to life he's removing Allan's (Ron Palillo) heart with his bare bones.
2. 13 minutes. Darren (Tony Goldwyn) gets the bright idea of trying to scare Jason with a gun. Jason takes the bullet before impaling Dazza on a pole.
3. 14 minutes. Lizabeth (Nancy McLoughlin) takes the same pole in the mouth driving her head into a ditch. Her attempts to bribe Jason with $40 is about as successful as the shooting option.
4. 21 minutes. Burt (Wallace Merk) has been "killed" at paintball and while making his way back to base he's stopped off to take his frustrations out on some branches with his machete. Jason is clearly upset to see misuse of his favourite killin' weapon and throws Burt into a tree ripping his arm off in the process. The smiley face covered in blood on the tree is a nice touch.
5. 23 minutes. TRIPLE MACHETE MASSACRE! Stan (Matthew Faison).
6. 23 minutes. TRIPLE MACHETE MASSACRE! Katie (Ann Ryerson).
7. 23 minutes. TRIPLE MACHETE MASSACRE! Larry (Alan Blumenfield). Jason gets a three for a price of one swing by decapitating the three paintballers with his favoured machete.
8. 24 minutes. Somewhere off camera the unfortunate 5th member of the paintballing crew Roy (Whitney Rydbeck) gets hacked to pieces. Jason's reaction to being shot by a paintball is priceless. Bits of Roy show up on 44 minutes.
9. 29 minutes. Gravedigger Martin (Bob Larkin) tosses his empty whisky bottle away. Jason hates littering and naturally returns it to the owner. Well…most of it…into the owner's throat.
10. 30 minutes. Steven (Roger Rose)
11. 30 minutes. Annette (Cynthia Kania). The couple overhear Martin's demise and investigate. On discovering Jason and his machete they try to flee on a motorbike but frankly take WAY too long and get double stabbed. And Jason hasn't even reached Crystal Lake yet!
12. 38 minutes. Nikki (Darcy DeMoss) gets her face crushed into the side of an RV. She's the first councillor to go. She had previously had sex so she was doomed.
13. 39 minutes. Irritating Cort (Tom Fridley) gets stabbed through the head while driving the RV. Jason emerging from the burning crashed vehicle is pretty cool.
14. 46 minutes. Pretty Sissy (Renee Jones – regular on Days of Our Lives) gets her head ripped clean off.
15. 56 minutes. Paula (Kerry Noonan). After teasing hacking her to pieces for about 7 minutes Jason finally strikes.
16. 63 minutes. Officer Thornton (Mike Nomad) gets a dart in the head when he tries to stop Jason. BULLSEYE!
17. 65 minutes. Officer Pappas (Michael Swan) becomes the second guy to try and shoot Jason only to get his head crushed. No stupid special effects here…just an unpleasant cracking sound.
18. 71 minutes. Sheriff Garris (David Kagen) is the first to get any joy against Jason taking him down with a few shotgun blasts. However Jason takes exception and folds him over backwards. Ouch!


And because it doesn't fit into one column that's the end of Part One! Be back tomorrow for the remains.