Ask 411 Movies for 02.16.09: Love Stinks, But Chocolate is Half Off!

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 02.16.2009

Valentine’s Day movies, more stand up comedians, more SNL, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Star Trek over Star Wars and the horrific evil of Crocodile Dundee.


Two weeks ago from YouTube we had a trailer for Groundhog Day recut as a horror film. This week we have a trailer for Crocodile Dundee recut in a similar fashion. Jason has nothing on this guy.





James Whitmore, 87, died Feb. 9 of lung cancer. Whitmore was a famous Broadway actor that starred in one man plays as Teddy Roosevelt, Will Rogers and Harry Truman. He also appeared in several movies and TV shows, with modern audiences probably remembering him best as the prison librarian in The Shawshank Redemption.



Phillip Carey, 83, died Feb. 7 of lung cancer. Carey was a bit actor throughout the fifties and sixties. In 1980 he took on the part of Asa Buchanan on "One Life to Live."

Q: Hey, 'Hurst!

Interesting can of worms you opened with your opinions on comedians (won't touch the Trek vs. Wars thing as I agree with your point though my six year old boy discovered the Star Wars universe several months ago and "just when I thought I was out, they dragged me back in!").

Anyway, comedy seems too broad to really declare anyone great or shitty; just funny or unfunny depending on your tastes -- Except Larry the Cable Guy and Sinbad, neither one of those pricks are funny, I don't care who you are.

To the Stanhope haters -- Yes he does go for reactions occasionally, but he is FAR from being a Lisa Lampanelli or Artie Lange -- He's actually pretty thoughtful and intelligent; don't let the obscenity fool you -- Short list of awesome comedians from across the spectrum:

Franklin Ajaye (great storyteller, played the black general in Deadwood)
Stanhope (see my comments above)
Todd Barry (classic smug smartass; doesn't have the superiority complex or political views that bring down David Cross)
Louis CK (Google Louis CK "Why?" and you'll understand)
Dennis Miller (awesome, intelligent bloviating rants)
Mitch Hedburg (Rapid-fire intelligent jokes)
Lewis Black (Intelligently political and just angrily funny)
Demitri Martin (offbeat jokes)
Steven Wright (master of offbeat jokes)
Jim Gaffigan (Hot Pocket!)

Of course there are many more (Birbiglia, Atell, Rock, Carlin, Lopez, etc.) but I NEVER switch channels when any of these guys come on XM/Sirius.

And finally, a question -- GI Joe is coming out soon, Don't know if you were a fan of the toys or not (I grew up collecting them) -- But who would you cast as the main players?
-Nathaniel

A: I actually do like Sinbad. All his movies and TV sucks, but I found his standup to be refreshing by being clean and a mix of stories about his life and observational comedy. I loved his HBO specials that mixed in funk music.



Big Mitch Hedberg fan too. I felt he was right on the edge of breaking big before dying. The problem is that I'm not sure how far he would have got, because he's the kind of guy that's not going to be a lead in a movie or sitcom. And anytime someone tells a Hedburg joke they have to talk like him.



There has been some debate over the cast of the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Some of the casting seems pretty good, like Ray Park as Snake Eyes and Christopher Eccleston as Destro. Others seem a big odd, but they might work in practice, like Sienna Miller as The Baroness (I might have went with Rose McGowan here) and Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commander (Probably would have went older and crazier here. Alec Baldwin maybe.) Some of the casting just seems down right ridiculous, such as Channing Tatum as Duke (Younger and blond, how about Paul Walker or Chris Evans or Mark-Paul Gosselaar) and Marlon Wayans as Ripcord (who wasn't black. If you want a token black there are black Joes. How about Terrence Howard as Alpine, Ving Rhames as Roadblock, Tyrese Gibson as Stalker, Danny Glover as Doc or Malcolm Jamal Warner as Iceberg). Then there are some popular characters from the cartoon not in the movie like Shipwreck (Christian Slater doing his best Jack Nicholson impression), Quick Kick (Jet Li),Wild Bill (Gerald McRaney), Lady Jaye (Ashley Judd) and Flint (Josh Brolin).

Q: When Conan O'Brien moves to L.A. to take over The Tonight Show, is there any word if his house band, The Max Weinberg Seven will make the move as well?
-Ben Piper

A: According to Conan O'Brien himself on "Inside the Actor's Studio" the Max Weinberg Seven will travel with him to Los Angeles and continue as his house band. The group consists of Weinberg on drums, Jimmy Vivino on guitar, Richie Rosenberg on trombone, Jerry Vivino on saxophone, Mark Pender on trumpet, Scott Healy on keyboards and Mike Merrit on bass. Below is the band with Pete Townshend.



Q: Hey Leonard,

Building off your SNL discussion, who do you think are the most underrated cast members of Saturday Night Live? I would give some credit to Kevin Nealon, who really had a dry wit that stood out in the "Bad Boys of SNL" days. As for the current cast I'd show some love to Will Forte who doesn't have many, if any, big recurring characters, but who really puts a lot of little comedic touches into each performance. His Zell Miller impression and Tim Calhoun bit always crack me up. What are your thoughts?
Happy Trails,
- Andrew B

A: I liked Kevin Nealon too. He was a great supporting player and could steal a sketch from time to time. I also didn't mind him as the Weekend Update host, but you never want to be the guy that follows the guy. You want to be the guy that follows the guy that follows the guy, which is where Norm MacDonald had success. After Bill Hader, Forte is probably my favorite of the current cast. Again, he's just a solid supporting player and can really turn it on from time to time.

Garrett Morris I would peg as underrated. He was the token black guy of the original cast and was out in the cold a lot, but shined when he was given the chance. I was always a huge fan of Father Guido Sarcucci played by Don Novello. Of women, I would go with Ana Gasteyer, Julia Sweeney and Jane Curtain.

Q: Good discussion of SNL stars. I might also have found a slot for Terry Sweeney (along with Miller and Lovitz, a lone beacon of home in the the disastrous 85-86 run where they brought in actors such as Randy Quaid, Joan Cusack and Anthony Michael Hall instead of comedians).

I might also have included Jim Bruer, who was part of the 90's transition.

What about overrated players?

Chevy Chase: I can understand where his sarcastic attitude might be appreciated by some, but watching the 1st season Weekend Update material, it just comes across as disconnected. He was far better in the films, such as Fletch & Seems Like Old Times

Bill Murray: I can't tell whether it was the characters or Bill himself, but he came across as too obnoxious to like.

Joe Piscipoe: A solid utility player, and great with impersionations, but not good enough to get all of the attention he did, perhaps b/c of the fact that it was the early 80's when the only other major shining light was Eddie Murphy

Mike Meyers: I blame the writers more than I do Mike, because he is a funny guy. The main problem is that they took some of his best characters and ran them into the ground with repetition (Wayne, Dieter).

Chris Farley: Had the manic energy of Belushi, but didn't have the soul & the heart.
-Michael L

A: Piscipo I actually like. He had great chemistry with Eddie Murphy and he actually seemed like he gave a damn and had a sense of the history and importance of the series.

Chase got a big head really quick and thought he was bigger than the series. Because of his pratfall openings and hosting Weekend Update, he became the first breakout star, but that would have happened with any of them if given that spotlight.

Murray almost made my list last week, but he didn't because I do find him overrated. I got that disconnect with him too. He was off in his own world a lot. He did well with Gild Radner in some sketches.

I'd add Adam Sandler. The only reason he made it on the show in the first place was because he came up with these incredibly crazy characters, like Opera Man and Cajun Man, that were so bizarre and stupid no one wanted to, or could, play them. Then he formed that little Three Musketeer group with Spade and Farley. It seemed like they were trying to make themselves laugh more than the audience most of the time.

Q: I agree strongly with your all-time SNL cast list, but I'd probably add Kristen Wiig instead of Julia for the fact that she is often a hilarious scene-stealer, but can also play the straight man (woman?) when needed. The sketches where she plays the woman who can't handle surprises is some of the funniest sketches I've seen on SNL in YEARS! Give that woman some love!
-Monty

A: I do not care for Kristen Wiig. I think she steals scenes for the sake of doing so and not naturally or because she's trying to save a sketch. All her characters come off like they have the same type of brain damage. I HATE when they just shove the guest host into sketches of recurring characters. I saw earlier this year when Josh Brolin hosted and he had zilch to do in a sketch where Wiig was playing her woman who can't handle surprises. And her Target Lady is annoying as hell to. I'd bone her though.



Q: Zach Galifianakis is like a modern day Andy Kauffman in my view. Not as extreme, but his humor and comedy is so off beat, but really genius too if you get the jokes.

I like Jeff Dunham, but I don't think he's in my top comedians line of stuff.

I liked your all time SNL cast, but I'd probably put Darrell Hammond in my all time list. Even though he doesn't do much, when he does an impersonation... It's spot on.

Akroyd would be important for the writing if nothing else. He wrote a lot of great stuff and he was never a guy who would write a fart joke sketch, his stuff had depth even if it was silly.
-Jake G.

A: I've got some friends that love Galifinakis, but I could never get into him. The vibe I get from him is he's trying to be smart playing dumb, but he's really just dumb. If I had to compare his comedy to someone, it would probably be Tom Green.

Darrell Hammond might be the best impressionist they've ever had, but he lacks the charm and sheer likeability of Phil Hartman to make him watchable week in and week out. I think they have a good handle on him now as he seems to be doing mainly just impressions. However, there's something to be said for his longevity too. I don't think I could do a gig that hectic, even if it's only for about a quarter of a year, for about 15 years like he has. I remember Martin Short said he quit because he realized he didn't need to do that to himself with the schedule.

Q: I still remember the SB commercial that made all of us go WTF! was the teaser trailer for ID4 when all you get is a couple of shots of the Capitol and White House getting blown all to heck. Then no more trailers for a few months...that just made you want to see it all the more.
-Tom A



A: I think that's the one you're referring too. That's probably the commercial that made the Super Bowl the event to debut ads for upcoming blockbusters.

Q: To get back to stand up comedy, I want to know your opinion on Jim Gaffigan. Every person I know either doesn't know about him or finds him funny. I think he's great in small roles like flight of the conchords and those Sierra Mist commercials. His stand up is funny with him talking for the audience and he doesn't seem to go over kill on those jokes, so what do you think?
-Guest8742

A: Gaffigan, like Hedberg mentioned above, has a very unique delivery that works for him. He comes off as very lazy and almost like he's going to fall asleep on stage, but that ties into his material. His tying of American culture and life to food is perfectly spot on. He's got a good sense of humor about himself as a chubby, super pale slob too. It helps when you let the audience laugh at you and with you.



Q: Star Wars > Star Trek

The whole gay-military aspect kills Trek. At least in the original Star Wars movies you had outlaws like Han Solo... in Star Trek who is there? Quark? LAME
-McObvious

A: Usually "gay" and "military" isn't in the same sentence, unless "don't tell" is along with it. And are you saying that Star Wars doesn't have any military connotations? Oh yeah, there's no armies or wars or people with military ranks in Star Wars. No, surly not. In fact, I would say that Star Wars is probably more militaristic than Star Trek. You could make a pretty close allegory between Star Wars and World War II.

I also think you could make a close comparison between Han Solo and Captain Kirk. How often did Kirk disobey Starfleet regulations and direct orders to do what he wanted to do? And he was a bigger space pimp than Lando Calrissian.

You can make plenty of arguments of Star Wars over Star Trek, but these aren't it.

Q: Hey Leonard,
Valentine's Day is coming up so what are some Valentine's Day themed movies? I can think of Sleepless in Seattle, My Bloody Valentine, St. Valentine's Day Massacre (of course) and Scarface (the original). I also think that Some like it hot is based on the st. valentine's day massacre.
-David

A: Notice most of those aren't love stories.



Sleepless in Seattle (1993): Sam (Tom Hanks) is recently widowed and his son Jonah (Ross Malinger) calls a national radio show to basically pimp his dad. Annie (Meg Ryan) hears it and she wants to meet Sam even though she is engaged to Walter (Bill Pullman). Oddly enough, Ryan and Hanks are only on screen together for about two minutes. Julia Roberts and Kim Basinger were offered the role of Annie and Dennis Quaid was up for Sam.



My Bloody Valentine (1981): A mine explosion causes the death of several miners and a survivor, Harry Warden, goes on a killing spree afterwards. Twenty years later, a Valentine's Day dance is staged and people are killed off. Director George Mihalka tried to do a sequel earlier this decade, but no one would bite. A remake came out a few weeks ago and you can read my review of it here.



St. Valentine's Day Massacre (1967): This is the most famous version of the true story that happened on Valentine's Day, 1929. Members of Al Capone's gang dressed as cops and mowed down members of rival Bugs Moran's gang in a power play to take over organized crime in Chicago. Jason Robards plays Capone with Ralph Meeker as Moran. Originally, Robards was going to play Moran with Orson Wells as Capone, but 20th Century Fox balked as Wells for being too troublesome. Roger Corman, getting his first major studio film, played along.



Scarface (1932): The movie is loosely based on the life of Al Capone, including a recreation of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Paul Muni stars as Tony Camonte, the surrogate for Capone. Capone supposedly like the movie so much, he owned his own copy of it and would screen it privately. The movie's release was delayed for about a year due to battles with censors. Changes made to the end showing Tony being charged and hung for his crimes and a toning down of his not so ‘brotherly' affections to his sister when she's killed didn't placate the Hays Office, so the movie was released without approval. The subtitle "the Shame of the Nation" was added to deflect some of the heat. More of an update than a remake was done in 1983 with Al Pacino starring as Cuban Tony Montana thick in the Miami cocaine trade.



Some Like It Hot (1950): Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon play musicians who are witnesses to the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. They flee town by posing as women in an all girl's band. Curtis falls for a band member played by Marilyn Monroe and tries to woo her by doing a take off on Cary Grant. While that trio is so linked to this film, Billy Wilder wanted Frank Sinatra instead of Lemmon and Mitzi Gaynor over Monroe. Tales from the set have Monroe being able to do whole pages of dialogue in one take, but needing over 50 takes to deliver one line such as "It's me, Sugar" and "Where's the bourbon?" when she rifling through desk drawers. Also considered for the male leads were Bob Hope and Danny Kaye. A famous story from the movie had costume designer Orry-Kelly measuring the three principals for dresses. He joked with Monroe that Curtis had a nicer butt than she did. Monroe then opened her blouse and said "yeah, but he doesn't have tits like these."



Valentine (2001): A group of popular high school girls turns a nerd down for a dance at a Valentine's Day Dance at the school. A chubby, not so popular girl agrees and they wind up making out. They are caught and she says that the guy attacked her. So the jocks strip him and make a mockery of him. About fifteen years later the girls are being picked off and it's possible that one of their boyfriends could be the former nerd turned killer. Tara Reid and Jennifer Love Hewitt were originally slated to star, but were replaced with Jessica Capshaw and Denise Richards.



An Affair to Remember (1957): Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr fall in love on a cruise ship, even though they are engaged to other people. They agree to meet again in six months at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day (also used in Sleepless in Seattle above). Kerr doesn't make it, but it's because she was paralyzed in an accident. She can't bring herself to tell Grant, but he finds out. This was a remake of 1939's Love Affair that was remade again in 1994.

Don't die.

"If you can paint, I can walk."