The Big Screen Bulletin 03.9.09: Ink Blot Mania

Posted by Chad Webb on 03.09.2009

Thoughts on "Watchmen", the box office results, a John DeLorean biopic, "Mad Max 4" the cartoon, WWE remakes a Norris film, new DVD releases, new quickees, new trailer ratings, and much more!

An Article on Watchmen

Malin Akerman: Laurie Juspeczyk/Silk Spectre II
Billy Crudup: Dr. Jon Osterman/Doctor Manhattan
Matthew Goode: Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias
Jackie Earle Haley: Rorschach
Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Edward Blake/The Comedian
Patrick Wilson: Daniel Dreiberg/Nite Owl II
Carla Gugino: Sally Jupiter/Silk Spectre
Matt Frewer: Edgar Jacobi/Moloch the Mystic
Stephen McHattie: Hollis Mason/Nite Owl
Laura Mennell: Janey Slater
Robert Wisden: Richard Nixon
Directed By: Zack Snyder
Written By: David Hayter and Alex Tse
Release Date: March 6, 2009
Running Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes







Rated R for strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language.

Summary provided by Warner Brothers:
"Watchmen is set in an alternate 1985 America in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the outlawed but no less determined masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes. As he reconnects with his former crime-fighting legion--a disbanded group of retired superheroes, only one of whom has true powers--Rorschach glimpses a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy with links to their shared past and catastrophic consequences for the future. Their mission is to watch over humanity...but who is watching the Watchmen?"

One of the most anticipated films of 2009 has arrived, and of course I have my own thoughts on it like everyone else does. In addition to a regular review, this will act as a general article and overview of the film, the reception it has received from critics, the box office performance, and comparisons to the graphic novel. I will do my best to keep from rambling on for too many paragraphs. As we have numerous terrific writers on the staff right now to submit plenty of reviews, I felt it best to include this with my news report, and get my opinion out of the way immediately, instead of waiting a week for a quickee.

I attended a showing in New York City for this, and for the first time, I had seen a feature film on IMAX. I had experienced IMAX before, but it was one of their 50-60 minute documentaries. In the past, I forget to buy tickets in advance, but this time I was prepared. I went with colleague George Sirois, his wife Cheryl, and his friend Jason, and after enduring the sheer stupidity of the AMC staff, who were evidently new to IMAX at this particular location, we finally entered, found a seat, and prepared to enjoy the picture. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't psyched, as I had just finished reading the graphic novel a few weeks before, and loved it. Watchmen could not have been made at a better time period. Special effects are at their peak; hence the complicated aspects of the story can be brought to life with breathtaking vividness.

Watchmen was a blast from start to finish. As far as story, character, and appearance faithfulness is concerned, one could not ask for much more, aside from the altered ending, but more on that later. Inevitably, complainers will have a loud voice, and Watchmen is no different from any other event. I have read that it is too faithful, and have also read that it was not faithful enough, since a few items were "tweaked" as Director Zack Snyder put it. I will not reiterate what "based on" means for the readers. You all know. Remember that this is a theatrical cut, and that many minor discrepancies and scenes that were left out might very well pop up in the director's cut version. For a theatrical edition, this was perfectly acceptable in terms of commitment to Alan Moore's vision. Some people will just refuse to be pleased.

It was as if the majority of the images from the comic were literally lifted from the pages and placed before my eyes. One of the first things I assumed after seeing this was that it would be compared to The Dark Knight, for whatever reason. Make no mistake, this is definitely a comic book film in scope, feel, and execution. Every nook and cranny about Watchmen says "comic book." The Dark Knight elected for a realistic approach that elevated the story beyond its comic origins, which obviously was effective also, but Watchmen is not like that at all. On occasion, that comic atmosphere can be rendered cheesy when translated to the big screen for some films, but those moments are very rare here.

Rating this version of Watchmen almost seems pointless, similar to rating the theatrical cuts of The Lord of the Rings. The extended versions were easily superior then, and I could confidently wager that the director's cut of Watchmen will be an improvement also. The word is that it might get a theatrical release in the summer. Nevertheless, my hat is off to Zack Snyder, whose positive attitude resulted in a film that is funfilled no matter what. He chose a suitable project for himself, one where the story was already available as deep and invigorating, so he could concentrate heavier on visuals, which we all know is his biggest asset. In 300, one outweighed the other, and in the end, the film was good, but is mostly know for its utilization of green screens. Watchmen possesses the best of both worlds.

I always go out of my way to avoid critics early articles, or even the Friday opening reviews because once they are in your head, that fair judgment or open mind before entering the theater is in jeopardy. I was surprised to see a mixed reaction amongst critics. Metacritic has it at a 56, and Rottentomatoes has a 65%. Most of the complaints all stem from the same idea: "the film fails to establish an identity of its own." And they are correct, but I view this as a wise decision, not a poor one. By changing too much of the story or the look, it erases much of the message, which for Watchmen is impossible to overly modify considering the fictional world and number of characters. Furthermore, the book contained a bold color pallet, which was vital to copy.

After all my praise, I must mention that this film is not perfect. Two aspects were glaring as I watched. The first is the soundtrack, which not only dampened the importance and poignancy of some scenes, but felt as if they were inserted for no other reason than to be on the CD soundtrack for added sales. You have Simon & Garfunkel's song "The Sound of Silence" during the funeral sequence. Ok, maybe it was integrated adequately, but just imagine how that moment would have stirred us more with a score, rather than a song which has been used in Kingpin when Roy Munson vomits in the toilet after having sex with his landlady. Towards the end, Jimi Hendrix's cover of All Along the Watchtower chimes in. This was extremely irritating because the song has been used in more movies than I can name. Forrest Gump is the first that springs to mind. Don't get me started on Leonard Cohen's "Hallellujah", which ruined the love scene between Dan and Lori. Do I like these tunes? Yes, in other films, or by themselves, but not in a comic book adaptation. I prefer them to have some significance to the scene. The one track whose inclusion did not bother me was Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a Changing" during the masterful opening credits. On the other hand, Tyler Bates supplied an extraordinary score, combining electronica sounds with rousing orchestral work.

The other blemish (pun intended) was the make-up, which was completed by a team of more than 20 crew members. Take Carla Gugino's aging Sally Jupiter, Jeffrey Dean Morgan's aging Edward Blake, and President Richard Nixon, and tell me with a straight face that the make-up was not horrible. For a minute, I took into consideration that IMAX screens project images clearer, but even on a regular screen, this would have been noticeable. For some make-up blunders, one can simply shrug their shoulders and move on. In Watchmen the problem was consistent, and made it difficult to take certain characters seriously. Richard Nixon is the primary issue. Each time his face appears, I cringe. What bothered me about this was that observing these obvious faults allowed a whiff of artificiality. Though I tried to dismiss this, it was not easy.

I will not go into too much detail on the performances, but I will touch on them briefly. It all boils down to this: some were great, and others were just satisfactory. The two highlights are Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, and Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan. Both deliver brilliant turns, and prove that no one else could have played the roles. Patrick Wilson, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Matthew Goode were almost equally as fabulous. Matthew Goode might be the least well-known name of that trio, but I am so happy to see him shine in a big budget effort. His portrayal of Adrien Veidt hits all the right notes. Wilson's likable personality meshed wonderfully with Daniel Dreidberg, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan epitomized the Comedian in every way possible. Carla Gugino, despite the make-up, was marvelous as Sally Jupiter. Malin Ackerman appears to be receiving the bulk of the acting criticism. While I will admit that someone else probably could have nailed the part better, Ackerman was certain sufficient, and sexy, which was crucial.

Personally, my favorability rested on Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan, who were the two most interesting characters in the graphic novel. Books could be written about Dr. Manhattan. If you ask me, he should rank with the most memorable characters ever. Dr. Manhattan was presented exactly as he was in the book, and to the astonishment of those unfamiliar with the source material, this includes full view of his genitals. He's naked, get over it. This is not used as a distraction. The point is that Dr. Manhattan is not just an ordinary superhero. He is a higher being, and seeing him without clothes on should not really make a difference. It's the human body, it is natural, and he is constantly compared to God, so who cares if he walks around with nothing on?

The following paragraph will involve spoilers of the graphic novel and the film. If you have not consulted both, you might want to skip this paragraph.

We all knew the ending was going to be different before the film was released. Snyder was not secret about this, which shows that he was confident in the adjusted conclusion. The new ending was the smarter move. Having a large creature come into the situation would have greatly confused those that have not read the book, and doing this would have forced another 5-10 minutes (at least) of explanation. This was the only issue I had with the book. The reasoning given in the motion picture, that Dr. Manhattan was framed as the attacker, made more sense, and was easier to outline. I'm not sure if an alternate ending or something would be included on a future DVD release, and then the monster version would appear, but I doubt it. On a side note, why did they leave out the scene on Mars where Dr. Manhattan discusses Lori's affair? The point of this was to show how Doc Manhattan could see the future, but did not really react emotionally to it until the event actually occurred in present time. End Spoilers

As with any flick over 2 hours, the "bored" detractors will whine and moan about the running time. Snyder was adept in his pacing here, and this never once felt tiresome or lengthy. Had I the time before writing this, I would have polled a group of people who were totally unaware of what this story was, other than the theatrical trailer. Most critics claim that those viewers will not understand what all the fuss is about. Will they? I can't say because I am not apart of that audience. All I know is, I enjoyed the movie thoroughly, but am looking forward to the director's cut, and the eventual ultimate edition which encompasses Hollis Mason's Under the Hood and Tales of the Black Freighter. Did anyone notice the kid sitting at the comic book stand?

Watchmen is a mesmerizing success of visual effects and story fidelity. It is yet another recommended adventure only 3 months into 2009. If these months are an indication of quality, the rest of the year will be even better, and the writer's strike, which was supposed to affect this year hardest, might not be a factor after all. The cast and crew of Watchmen did a magnificent job. Screenwriters David Hayter and Alex Tse, despite basically copying the novel word for word, were intelligent in fine tuning certain sequences, and in maintaining the books integrity. William Hoy's editing is amazing. He had a tough job of pleasing the studio, the director, and most importantly the moviegoers. Larry Fong's cinematography captured the relevancy of this world, in addition to the exhilarating fictional facets, with spectacular use of the camera.

What critics fail to address is how this film will age. This can be hard to predict, but is important nonetheless. Watchmen, no matter what "cut" it is, will be a comic book film that people pop into the DVD/Blu-Ray player over and over again. They will do this because it offers so much in return. It is thought-provoking, electrifying, and cleverly handled by Director Zack Snyder, who has made many friends in the comic book genre I would guess. And as for sequel rumors, please, make them cease now. A note to Warner Brothers: Avoid a sequel attempt. Milk the film as much as possible with multiple DVD releases, but just leave this as it is: a sensational piece of cinema.

Final Rating: 8.5/10.0

Here are some questions I had that perhaps some of you could answer, or maybe you felt the same way:

--Although Rorschach's mask was uber cool, why did it change appearance all the time? Did it do this in the book? If so, I don't remember it.
--Why was their too little of Hooded Justice, easily the coolest looking costume hero? And what was with his accent?
--When Nite Owl II and Rorschach approach Veidt's Antarctic home, why do they not use the snow vehicles that were in the novel? One would think that this would have looked awesome on screen right?

The News Bulletin

Who Watches the Watchmen?....Everyone
Warner Bros.' dark superhero pic "Watchmen" grossed an estimated $55.7 million from 3,611 theaters in its domestic B.O. debut, coming in lower than expected but still scoring the best opening of the year and one of the best showings ever for an R-rated film. Studio had hoped for the pic to transform into a March tentpole and match, or best, the $70.9 million opening of Zack Snyder's previous film "300," which bowed on the same frame in 2007. "Watchmen's" running time, however, was 2:40 before trailers. At that length, theaters couldn't play as much runs of the pic as they did "300," which ran under two hours.

"Watchmen," based on the iconic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, played heavily to fans, i.e., males between the ages of 17-34. After that, "Watchmen" appeared to have some trouble broadening out. Pic was considered a hard R, because of its graphic violence and sex. "Watchmen's" 124 Imax runs were sold out throughout the weekend. Imax runs accounted for $5.5 million; the circuit's best opening weekend number after "The Dark Knight" ($6.3 million). "Watchmen" nabbed the third highest March opening, and the fifth highest opening ever for an R-rated film.

Ok, yes, Watchmen got #1. We all knew it would happen. I expected it to top this amount with as much hype it has received though. Oh well, it will probably continue to make solid money. Let's talk about the unstoppable group that has been dominating the top 10 for months now. Paul Blart, Taken, Slumdog Millionaire, and He's Just Not That Into You, which hasn't been out quite as long as the other three. They refuse to go away, and somehow more and more people are deciding to see them. Wow. Movies have come and gone, but they remain unmoved. The Jonas Brothers are taking a pounding (no pun intended), and thankfully Coraline is holding on strong. Watchmen faces Disney next week, and the Rock, but I do not think the former People's champ has enough muscle to overpower Watchmen. If he does, that would be a gigantic blow for that crew







WWE Infects C-Nor
MGM and the WWE are teaming to develop a direct-to-DVD remake of the Chuck Norris 1984 Vietnam pic "Missing in Action" says The Hollywood Reporter. The original centered on Col. James Braddock (Norris), a POW of the Viet Cong who escapes Southeast Asia and heads back to liberate other U.S. captives. A prequel and a sequel were released in the following four years. Jeremy Passmore, who also is penning MGM's "Red Dawn" theatrical remake, is on board to write the script with partner Andre Fabrizio. The new film will be updated to reflect modern military realities and will be set during the current Iraq War. Andrew Stevens ("Heist") will produce.

As a loyal fan of the original franchise, this is a shock and a disappointment. Not even Chuck Norris can escape the remake train? Damn. Since WWE is attached, we know a wrestler will be the star. Obviously, I am thinking guys with beards would be the logical choices. I guess I am in denial that they will inevitably go with John Cena. How about hiring Hacksaw Jim Duggan and treating it as a parody? Seriously though, Edge has a beard, but Adam Copeland….in a Vietnam war film? I dunno. This has bad written all over it. I can't discuss it anymore…it makes me too upset.






Release Date Changes!
Adventureland
The next comedy from the director of Superbad has moved back one week from March 27th to April 3rd, where it will only have to face one wide release (Fast & Furious) as opposed to three.

The Hurt Locker
The Summit Entertainment war-drama directed by Kathyrn Bigelow (Point Break, K-19: The Widowmaker) and starring Ralph Fiennes and Guy Pearce will come out June 26th 2009.

Final Destination: Death Trip 3D
The New Line 3D horror-sequel has moved back from August 21st 2009 to its original date of August 14th.

The Boat That Rocked
The Universal ensemble comedy starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, and Jack Davenport will release wide on August 28th 2009.

The Informant
The Steven Soderbergh-directed drama-thriller starring a mustache-endowed Matt Damon has been delayed from the crowded September 18th date to October 9th 2009.

Dear John
A military romance directed by Lasse Hallstrom and starring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried has been set for February 5th 2010.

Untitled Happy Madison Comedy
The ensemble comedy uniting Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Chris Rock, and Kevin James will come out March 12th 2010; somewhat odd considering the plot involves the characters meeting each other again during the Fourth of July weekend.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Remake
The Platinum Dunes-produced remake of the Wes Craven classic has been scheduled for April 16th 2010, where it will compete against Robert Rodriguez's Nerveracker and Lionsgate's animated feature Alpha and Omega.

The Zookeeper
The Kevin James-led comedy from MGM has been scheduled for July 23rd 2010

Straw Dogs
The Screen Gems remake has been delayed from August 13th 2010 to an undetermined date.

Priest
Replacing "Straw Dogs" will be this long-in-development anime adaptation from Screen Gems.

So this year we have Hayao Miyazaki's new anime, and this one. I am definitely psyched for those! The Straw Dogs remake not getting a date yet is a good thing. That film needed to be left alone. Zookeeper has been logically moved to summer since now the world loves Kevin James. The Happy Madison comedy sounds incredibly dumb, but I expect that from those guys these days. Lasse Hallstrom (The Cider House Rules, Chocolat), a fabulous filmmaker, is working with Channing Tatum. What is wrong with this picture? Will someone please explain how this guys gets roles? I forgot about the next Final Destination installment, which should suck royally. As my friend said, you watch those for the deaths, and not much else. Mordbi, but true. I am looking forward to The Informant and The Boat That Rocked, but wish they were not being pushed into the fall. Adventureland should do nicely with Fast & Furious. That way I can see something else to avoid those idiots.






A Biopic Filmed at 88 MPH
A biopic of maverick auto executive John Z. DeLorean is in the works reports Variety. The story will chronicle DeLorean's rise and fall as a young executive VP at General Motors where he developed the Pontiac GTO and Firebird, along with the creation of his own company and the DeLorean DMC-12 famous for its "Back to the Future" appearance. In 1982 he was arrested on charges of drug trafficking to help his faltering auto company but was later freed two years later after a court ruled he was a victim of government entrapment. David Permut ("Youth in Revolt") and Steve Lee Jones ("Kevorkian") are producing.

I chose this news bit because I have always loved DeLorean cars, and if I ever have the money, will get one. Obviously this stems from my love of the Back to the Future franchise, but I have read about John DeLorean before, and his story should be fantastic in movie form. It should be very 80's, but with a modern touch, provided the right filmmaker steps aboard. This would have been a perfect project for the late Ted Demme (Blow) to helm, but I would love to see a bigger name director on this. Someone who knows a thing or two about style as well as substance. Leonard Hayhurst stated on the podcast that he thinks this will be played for laughs, rather than a straight up biopic. I say, why can't we have a bit of both? George Sirois suggested Milos Foreman for a director as he did The People vs. Larry Flynt and Man on the Moon. He is an awesome choice. I thought David Straitharn would be ideal for the lead role.






Max the Cartoon?
The fourth "Mad Max" film will now become a 3-D animated feature without any involvement from Mel Gibson reports MTV News. Writer/director George Miller told the site "I see myself as someone who is very curious about storytelling and all its various media. I've always loved anime, in particular the Japanese sensibility. It's something I've always wanted to do." The story would be partially lifted from the script which was set to shoot in 2003 until financing collapsed. With his experience on "Happy Feet", the idea of an R-rated, stereoscopic anime flick for theatrical release seems like a quite interesting route to take. A tie-in action-adventure video game would also be tied in to the production.

George Miller had quite a rocky 2008, and now his 2009 is starting off even weirder. First he was attached to Justice League for awhile, until it was suspended, and with Mel Gibson declining on reprising his iconic role for Mad Max 4, he must change it to animated form. Truthfully, I support this because it does not force Miller to recast a legendary character that would inevitably piss the fans off. I would wager that fans are ok with seeing an anime version because it will not tarnish the legacy of the original films. And since we know Miller has talent in the animated realm, this should be a very intriguing project.






Boyle is a Busy Bee
Danny Boyle has denied reports that he will direct a remake of Chan-wook Park's "Lady Vengeance" reports MTV News. "No I was never going to do that. I don't know where that story came from" says Boyle. A rep later told the site that Boyle being linked to helm the next James Bond film is also untrue - "While Danny says he always has and always will enjoy the Bond movies he has no plans to direct one. Danny is naturally flattered to be thought of""

Boyle would not have been a good fit for either film in my opinion. I think Bond needs a director who is less flashy, and I think that all Chan-wook Park remakes are a bad idea. Now that Danny Boyle has hit just about every genre possible, I think the next logical step for him is a comic book adaptation. That is my prediction. It will be announced in the next 2 years at least, that Boyle will tackle some sort of comic. I forget who, but someone on the podcast suggested that Green Arrow would be suitable for Danny. I can see that happening.

The 20 Second Sermon

French electronica duo Daft Punk has been signed to write the original music score for Tron 2.0. This will be their first full length feature film score, although they have been involved in them before. It should be interesting to see what they come up with. And as if anyone cared, Judd Apatow is not involved in the next Ghostbusters film. Why would he be anyhow? Just because Aykroyd mentioned months ago that he would like to have Rogen in it? What a dumb rumor. The Seinfeld cast is reuniting for a multiple story arc in Curb Your Enthusiasm. I love me some Curb regardless, but this should be outstanding. Kevin Smith will be directing A Couple of Dicks starring Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis. While this could very well be hilarious, I am disappointed that Smith isn't trying to prove himself at all outside the comedy genre. The reason I say that, is because he has the ability, and has proven so. Mickey Rourke is rumored to be the villain in Rambo V. Taking this with a grain of salt for now, I would love to see that happen, but only if it is set in America. Hellraiser is apparently being rebooted, not remade. Because reboots are the trend you know!

What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?

DVD Headline of the Week



Pinocchio (70th Anniversary) - Look for my full review soon!

Milk - Gus Van Sant's biopic on Harvey Milk is a brave, moving, and funny film about a person who inspired many. This is filled with memorable moments and superb performances, but the score from Danny Elfman was not one of his best. This is an inspirational story, and it could have been more so with better music. Buyable

Rachel Getting Married - Director Jonathan Demme returns to fictional work with this excellent slice of life during a family wedding where the sister of the bride returns from rehab. Anne Hathaway is brilliant, and deserves the nominations she got. The rest of the cast is terrific as well, and the story induces genuine emotion. Buyable

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - I wanted to see this, but feared I would have dismissed amongst all the fall prestige releases. This strikes me as better as a rental.

Transporter 3 - This is another I missed in 2008, but fear not, I will dive into it soon. I have heard mixed to negative reactions though.

Let the Right One In - Tomas Alfredson crafts one of the best vampire films to date with this emotional tale of friendship. The horror aspects are executed with such elegance and care, the acting is so precise and natural, and the story is so engrossing. This is a masterpiece. Predorderable

Role Models - This is a surprisingly funny film with some great KISS jokes, energy drink humor, and of course vulgarity. However, the plot is so paper thin and obvious that it takes away from the fun qualities of the jokes. Paul Rudd steals the show with the kids, while Seann William Scott is meh. Rentable

Happy-Go-Lucky - Writer and Director Mike Leigh has crafted another fantastic film with Sally Hawkins delivering an utterly wonderfully performance. This is a movie that makes you feel good about yourself, and subsequently examine your own attitude. It lacks a clear trajectory, but this is easily one of the year's funniest pics. Buyable

Cadillac Records - This story, based on a time when this record studio was making magic, is intriguing for the history and the admirable acting from the stellar cast, but it is a bit disjointed with little purpose other than introducing characters and hearing music. This has problems, but I enjoyed it because I love music. Rentable

Synecdoche, New York - Writer and first time director Charlie Kaufman weaves a complex, but ultimately absorbing, funny, and poignant story with outstanding performances by P.S. Hoffman and a strong female cast. This is not for everyone, but it is certainly something to watch more than once, and make new discoveries each time. Preorderable

Escape to Witch Mountain/Return from Witch Mountain - These are currently on my Netflix queue waiting to be sent to me so I can watch them before the remake starring the Rock, or excuse me, Dwayne Johnson.

Primal Fear - Look for my review on the site soon!

Battle in Seattle - Another one of those DTV releases with an all-star cast that causes you to wonder how in the blue hell in ended up there. This has been available to rent through Blockbuster for weeks now.

WWE: Summerslan: The Complete Anthology - These are various smaller volumes of the box set. I have a bunch of the Summerslam DVDs already. If I had to buy one, it would probably be the first volume as most of them are on VHS only. Buyable

Marie and Bruce - An unknown film starring Julianne Moore and Matthew Broderick. An odd pairing to say the least.

The Exile - A 1947 flick starring Douglas Fairbanks. His films have eluded me for some years now. I need to start watching some.

South Park: The Complete 12th Season - I love South Park, so I'll definitely be picking this up at some point. I'm not sure when that will be since a boatload of DVDs come out tomorrow that I want, but I'll get it sooner or later.

The Critic's Quickee

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - I never thought I would say this, but I would watch the Van Damme Street Fighter over this reboot any day of the week. I did not expect much of this, but I certainly did not anticipate a film so horrible when I paid for my ticket. And evidently, not many people purchased tickets since this debuted at #7, which should tell the studio to market their video game adaptations better. First off, the narration is completely unnecessary. There is a reason critics tend to frown upon narration, and it is because most of the time, it is pointless, like here. Chun-Li is the master of the obvious. Everything she says was not hard at all to figure out. What struck me as odd immediately was the ethnicity of Chun-Li at various ages. The youngest rendition at 5 years old is definitely Asian, but then a few years later at maybe 10 years old, she is clearly American, and of course she settles into Kristin Kreuk, who is Canadian. O…k… We then meet the investigator of this scenario. He works for Interpol, and he is played by Chris Klein, who gives one of the worst performances by any actor I have ever seen. I have never before been so embarrassed for a performer. There weren't many people in the theater I attended, but I had to hold myself back from bursting with laughter. We see him, and he says "Just call me Nash" and looks at his partner's a$$ and utters "I love this job" with his bad looking beard. Literally every scene he is in will make you snicker. And you know your movie is in trouble when Neal McDonough is the main villain. He is always terrible in these parts, but that is all he can do. If that isn't a conundrum, I don't know what is. Chun-Li hooks up with Gen, the mysterious leader for the Order of the Web, who has powers that are never explained, can live through anything apparently, and chooses to pop in and out of the story when he sees fit. And get this, Gen is played by Robin Shou, the same dude who played in another horrendous video game franchise, Mortal Kombat as Liu Kang. Holy bad choices Batman! He trains Chun-Li and says "Impress me." Michael Clarke Duncan is Balrog, whose name is pronounced various ways. His job is to sport tank tops, look big, and unload hilariously awful dialogue. At one point Balrog has a pineapple thrown at him by a kid, and he says "Someone got a problem?" Wow, pretty tough words. Yes, the screenplay by newcomer Justin Marks is an abomination. His writing further deepens the black hole that video game films are in. I don't care what the fans of the video game say. Nothing in this universe is explained sufficiently. The plot twists and turns are ridiculous. The sound effects are ludicrously over the top. And the fight scenes are instantly forgettable. In an oddly lesbian club sequence, a rap song is playing that is called "Street Fighter." How incredibly cheesy is that? Who the hell made that decision? You have John Cena in The Marine moments where characters survive explosions, and while that might not sound bad, they actually show you how unbelievable the scene is up close. I noticed the director's name, Andrjez Bartkowiak, and knew he sounded familiar, but could not place the name. Later I discovered his resume includes Doom, Cradle 2 the Grave, Exit Wounds, and Romeo Must Die. After reading that list, I don't think I need to say much about how his filmmaking rates do I? I appreciate that they chose to avoid the bad costumes contained in the games for Bison and Balrog, but when you give Bison a vomit inducing Irish accent,, and make Balrog look like is simply wasting space, it really wouldn't have mattered what they were wearing. The ending scene leads one to believe a sequel is on the way, but I doubt it would be in theaters if it does occur. And I'm sorry, but when I do not hear "Hadauken!" in a Street Fighter film, it gets docked multiple points right away. This is probably the worst film I have seen so far this year. Final Rating = 1.0/10.0

Two Lovers - James Gray is a very unique brand of filmmaker. His films have an identity all their own, and no matter what I rate them, they stick in my mind longer than I would have expected. All of his films take place in the Brighton Beach neighborhood of Brooklyn, and the fact that he can work so well in the same place says a lot for his talent. I have seen all his films and observed his potential, but he has never really shined above the 3 star mark. Two Lovers is thankfully his best effort to date. The plot is simple, and not convoluted like some of his past work, and it gives him a chance to flesh out the characters better, and flaunt his abilities more. He has stated that his influence was really raw 1970's character dramas like The Panic in Needle Park and others. The goal was to draw the viewer so close to the people's feelings that one feels uncomfortable watching them. Kind of like Reservation Road, which I loved, but George Sirois talked about how he did not like that aspect of it. This storyline is not full of twists and turns, but that is not the point. It is about fate, and how the characters change over the course of the story. Gray wrote and directed this, and his methods pay homage to Hitchcock's Rear Window and Vertigo, and some of Federico Fellini's canon, but in a beautiful way. After all of his shenanigans lately, if you wanted further proof that Phoenix was pulling our leg, look no further than his brilliant turn here. It is hard to fathom that an actor with this spot-on timing and delivery, and control of specific emotions, could be suffering a breakdown in his real life. This is Phoenix's third venture with Gray, and he is searing in this portrayal. Gwyneth Paltrow, who I mentioned before I usually do not care for, is also terrific here. Paltrow is best when her character is a little messed up, and that is the case here. She was also wonderful in a movie called Proof which few have heard of, but I recommend. You also have marvelous supporting performances from Vinessa Shaw (3:10 to Yuma), Isabella Rossellini, and Moni Moshonov, both of whom play Phoenix's parents. I won't elaborate too much because I do plan on reviewing this, but I loved it, and I was not sure how I would feel about it because you never know what to expect from Gray, but he is getting better and better. Final Rating = 8.5/10.0

What Have I Done?

Monday - The Chuck Norris calendar saying for March is: "Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest." On a side note, there is still a bunch of Norris films I need to see. Invasion U.S.A. is one, and Silent Rage, which Bryan Kristopowitz has recommended.




Tuesday - I recently finished reading The Dark Knight Returns graphic novel, and after hearing what characters were involved, I was skeptical, but I really enjoyed it a lot. Frank Miller crafted a story that was intelligent, thought-provoking, and entertaining, not to mention highly influential. The word is Zack Snyder wants to adapt this someday. Since Bruce Wayne is old, this installment of the current franchise would not happen for awhile, if at all. Unless it is adapted separately.






Wednesday - It was a big movie week for yours truly. I watched Martin Scorsese's debut Who's That Knocking At My Door?, which was a superb debut for him, although not flawless. I also watched a DVD I have owned since Circuit City went out of business, Fist of Legend, starring Jet Li. It is a remake of the Bruce Lee classic, Fist of Fury. Overall it was a fantastic remake with excellent fight sequences. The Dragon Dynasty DVD has loads of extras I can't wait to dig into!






Thursday - I picked up the new U2 album, No Line on the Horizon, which has received stellar reviews. I loved it, and what I noticed most was that it was just a damn fine record from start to finish. The usual U2 hits or singles are hard to spot because it seems to flow better as a whole, rather than just skipping to certain tracks. I'm looking forward to listening to it more and more. It is early and already we have 2 album of the year candidates in this and the Boss' Working on a Dream.






The Weekend - With Steph away on a road trip, it left me an opportunity to hang out on my own a little. I am almost finished watching the extras on the Mr. Perfect WWE DVD set. Two matches stood out. One with Hulk Hogan ended with the Hulkster losing by DQ. Not something you saw often back in his prime. The other was a 20 minute draw with Eddie Gilbert, which was a brilliant encounter with superb commentary from Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon. All I have left it the Nick Bockwinkle match.

Based on the Trailer…

Note that some links require you to scroll down a menu below the trailer screen. This is Yahoo's fault most likely.

Newest Trailers

Lymelife - This film cries independent, but it does look amusing, even if it is another dysfunctional family drama of sorts. With Kieran and Rory Culkin in the cast, I highly expected to see Macaulay, but did not. Trailer Rating = 7.5.10.0

9 - This looks amazing, and the song in the background only makes me want to see it more. This will be a mighty tough year for Pixar to reign supreme in. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Battle for Terra - Here is another example of simply taking a lot of popular names, placing them in a CGI flick, and hoping for the best. I admit, the animation looks impressive, and it will probably eye-opening in 3D, but this strikes me as this year's Delgo. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

My Life in Ruins - So Nia Vardalos basically takes a break for 5 years or so, until someone has a new Greece related project for her. This is the result, and Richard Dreyfuss is in it? Why? Can he get no other deals? Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Public Enemies - This is my type of film. You have Michael Mann, Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and a bunch of tommy guns. I am so there. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

March Releases

Monsters vs. Aliens - Wow, another terrific trailer, and this is a CGI flick from Dreamworks, who is stepping up their game past Shrek thankfully. This looks hysterical. Trailer Rating =9.5/10.0

I Love You, Man - This has a superb cast, and looks like a lot of fun with Paul Rudd and Jason Segel providing the laughs. I'm definitely looking forward to it. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

12 Rounds - A Cena character loses a girlfriend again. Yippee. Renny Harlin looks to have honed the action a bit, but Cena's acting and the plot are still weak. This seems to have borrowed a lot from the Die Hard franchise. Still, Cena is worth a second chance. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

The Great Buck Howard - We have a magician comedy with John Malkovich, David Blaine, Tom Hanks, and Colin Hanks, among others. Is their any way this could be bad? I say no, and if you disagree, we are not friends. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

The Last House on the Left - Meh, another plain looking thriller about psychos and the vengeance inflicted on them. This preview flaunts the Producer, Wes Craven, and emphasizes the corny cover of "Sweet Child ‘O Mine." This could be something I skip. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Miss March - This is going to be insanely stupid. The premise has potential, but then you look at the gags, and one has to wonder who the hell could think it was funny? Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

Race to Witch Mountain - I like the Rock, and I'll see the original before this comes out, but this strikes me as a typical Disney adventure flick that has little offer. We'll see though. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Knowing - This has Number 23 sort of approach, which is fine, but why is Nicolas Cage doing all these mediocre thrillers? He's a great actor, and should be showing that more. Anyway, this looks ok. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

April Releases

Adventureland - The new film from Superbad director Greg Motolla looks ok. I'm more intrigued by the cast of young actors than the plot itself. I'm sure it will deliver enough laughs though. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Escapist - A British prison break film starring Brian Cox. This is my favorite genre, so I can't wait for this, but in order for this to make a splash, it will have to be something special. The critic quotes being from random guys worries me. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

The Informers - This has an odd cast, but looks somewhat lame if you ask me. The book might be fantastic, but this trailer failed to stand out for me. It's about a bunch of people that party a lot or something. It is also Renfro's last film. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

17 Again = Matthew Perry and Zac Efron play the same character at different ages. Sure…whatever. These storylines are getting old. Efron is a tool and this movie looks terrible. Of course it will be a smash hit. Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

Fast & Furious - Is that the best title they could come up with? Well, I hate this franchise, and everything it stands for, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a step up from the previous installment. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Soloist - Atonement' Joe Wright changes his British period drama material for something new. This looks a bit like Resurrecting the Champ, only with better actors. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Dragonball: Evolution - Not too sure about this yet. The special effects look great, but then again, people said that about Jumper too. I'm new to this whole thing, but this looks like it could be bad, but Chow Yun Fat is in it, so one never knows. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Hannah Montana: The Movie - I know 411 readers have been dying for this trailer. In all honesty, it doesn't matter how bad we think this will be because it will be a box office smash for sure. Remember when her concert got #1 last year? Yes, the movie seems dumb, like the show, and anything with Billy Ray should not be in theaters. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Crank 2: High Voltage - This sequel looks ridiculous, preposterous, and over the top…all reasons I can't wait to see it. Statham is a solid action star, but better when comedy is mixed in. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Earth - A new documentary from the Disneynature series, narrated by James Earl Jones. This has some gorgeous visuals, and hopefully will be more entertaining than March of the Penguins. If anyone can out-narrate Morgan Freeman, it is James Earl Jones. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

State of Play - As this preview starts, it seems like just another thriller with Russell Crowe, but the A-list cast on top of him causes one's interest to rise. I'll be seeing this one for sure. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Observe and Report - This must be the year of the mall security guard in cinema. Too bad Paul Blart was bad, and this looks dumb as well. I'm shocked to say that since Seth Rogen is involved, but I call it as I see it. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Fighting - This could be an easy contender for worst film of 2009. I stars Channing Tatum, and looks to be a rip-off of like 10 other films. The title alone should say a lot right? Trailer Rating = 1.0/10.0

May Releases

Dance Flick - This Wayan parody trailer does what most parody trailers do: make you chuckle. But we all know the film will be a disaster. Well, some of us do. The others still see this sludge. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Up - Pixar's next flick looks like another funny, endearing, and funfilled adventure. At least we can rely on them for originality. I'll definitely be seeing this. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - It's a Matthew McConaughey romcom set for summer alongside a blockbuster. Aren't they al basically the same? This one looks as dumb as the rest. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0

Terminator Salvation - I love Christian Bale, and the Terminator franchise, but I have serious doubts about this. I believe it will be terrible, but I must admit, this teaser was well constructed. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I am undecided on this one. I think Gavin Hood is an excellent director, and I have faith in his talent, but the rest is a mixed bag, especially the first glimpse at Gambit, but that's my opinion. Otherwise, this looks to be heavy on action, which could be good or bad. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian - I realize the first one was a mammoth blockbuster hit, but it sucked, and this looks just as terrible, I don't care if Amy Adams and Jonah Hill are involved. Trailer Rating = 3.5/10.0

Angels & Demons - The Da Vinci Code was a superb thriller, and this looks to be outstanding as well. This teaser has me amped for Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon again! Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Angels & Demons (2) - These stories are what they are. If you enjoy Indiana Jones, National Treasure type stuff, you'll like this. I loved the first film, and my fondness for Tom Hanks is widely known, so I'll be there opening night for this. This longer trailer sheds a bit of light. This looks to be a bit darker in tone. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

June, TBD, and Beyond Releases

Planet 51 - This could be a fairly amusing CGI film. The animation looks nice, but this has few voices, and no real clue as to how funny it will be. I am still unsure, but it might be good, and it might not. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Super Bowl spot) - I was little late with this one, but it's too early to tell how good or bad this will be anyhow. I'm betting it's more bad than good. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

G.I. Joe (Super Bowl spot) - Oh my Lord. This looks ten thousand ways of awful. I cannot believe that the cartoon I watched as a child, has been adapted in this way. Holy schnikes. Trailer Rating = 2.0/10.0

Land of the Lost (Super Bowl spot) - Will Ferrell is funny, but that is an excuse I am having trouble using as time goes along. This looks like the CGI is overwhelming everything. I'll see it, but my expectations are not high. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Year One (Super Bowl spot) - Jack Black and Michael Cera are hunter-gatherers set in the ancient world. This looks mildly amusing. Both actors should provide the laughs. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

S. Darko - I can't help but laugh. This will be a huge pile of junk, and since I HATED the first one, I can only hope that this ruins its overrated reputation. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0

The Slammin' Salmon - The new Broken Lizard comedy starring the usual group of guys and Michael Clarke Duncan, who steals this red-band trailer. I love the comedies from this clan, so I will be seeing it. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Powder Blue - It stars Jessica Biel as a stripper, and includes Ray Liotta. Need I say more? Trailer Rating = 11/10

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - During the first few seconds, I thought I had clicked on the trailer for Armageddon. I see robots, explosions, and the LaBeoufster. Other than that, what is happening is anyone's guess. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Boat that Rocked - I love music, so this is right up my alley. It's about a radio station on a boat, one that helped give rock music to the world. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Nick Frost. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Funny People - The new dramedy from Judd Apatow starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and others. This looks very funny and touching at the same time, and that's what Apatow does best. I hope this can salvage what if left of Sandler's dignity. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Inglorious Basterds - Many expressed disappointment with this, but it is a WWII film from Tarantino, so what were you expecting? I think it looks awesome. I can't wait to see it! Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

The Taking of Pelham 123 - The new film by Tony Scott, starring his buddy Denzel, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini. Can Tony dust himself off from the decline his career has taken? Travolta makes a neat villain, so only time will tell. This thriller seems mediocre to me at first glance. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

The Proposal - This is an example of a romantic comedy I loathe. Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are the stars. Yay. Watch this preview and tell me you cannot predict how this ends. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

New York, I Love You - The first film, Paris, Je T'aime was one of the best films in recent memory that few knew about. So I am very excited about this second installment. The cast and directors look amazing. It should be a terrific experience. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - This was a great book, the darkest of the set, and this trailer rocks. I'm anxious to see this. The franchise has not decreased in quality, and here's hoping this continues that trend. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2) - Yes, I am a bit skeptical of the director, but this looks very good. This teaser gave me hope that Yates knows what he's doing. The comedy part at the end was terrific. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

The 411 Movie PODCAST - This week we discuss new releases and the IMDB top 50!

"The plural of Chad is Chad?"
--From the movie Recount