Frickin' Eh Movie News 03.18.09: Picnic Edition

Posted by Matthew Motiuk on 03.18.2009

Spidey news, Transformers 3 news, Zac Efron news, Salma Hayek news, and lots of other news!

For those of you who tuned in last week, I discussed Stan Brakhage in my intro and my disdain for his film Window Water Baby Moving. This week we discussed him even more, and watching his ‘films' I have the distinct desire to punch someone in the face. They might be interesting as experiments in film, visual effects you show a class that is learning about making movies, but Brakhage sold them as films, and as films they're worthless (in my opinion). We watched one where he taped a whole bunch of moths together and turn it into film. We also saw one called Black Ice, which was actually a really cool visual effect, but as a standalone film, it's nothing. Watching a couple of his films gave me the feeling that someone with easy access to drugs and film could do exactly what he did.

But luckily our non-narrative unit is over, so I hopefully won't have to feel mental distress at this nonsense anymore. In fact, there are only three and a half weeks left of classes. Three film labs and seven more classes. I was hopeful that I would be interested in Film Studies and might pursue it more after this class. I will not be. I've felt a lack of motivation this year toward anything, and hopefully next year I regain some of my drive and motivation so that I can put more effort into school. But anyway. Here's this week's news:


The Mid-Week Box Office Time Machine

Let's get right into it. Last week saw Race to Witch Mountain take the top spot with $24.4 million, unseating Watchmen, who got pushed down to two with $17.8 million. I'm surprised by the drop-off of Watchmen in only a week, I thought it would be a more robust and long-lasting movie. The Last House on the Left opened at third with $14.1 million. Taken dropped a spot to fourth, pulling in $6.6 million. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail went from second to fifth and made $5.1 million. Slumdog Millionaire started its descent, dropped from fourth to sixth. Paul Blart: Mall Cop went to seventh while He's Just Not That Into You fell to eighth. Coraline took ninth. Miss March opened at the bottom spot with $2.4 million.

Opening this weekend we have Duplicity starring Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. It looks like an interesting concept and I really like Clive Owen, but I'm not convinced this will be a winner. As well, I Love You, Man opens with Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. This looks fairly stupid and predictable to me, but if you're a comedy fan then it should be decent. The last big opening is Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage and directed by Alex Proyas. This looks like a fairly interesting concept but I don't know if it will pan out. I'm hoping for Knowing to take the weekend. I might even go see it.


Third Transformers Coming Summer 2011

Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks Pictures have set a July 1, 2011 release date for Transformers 3, but the studios have cautioned to Variety that the dating of the third installment isn't an official announcement that the project is going forward; rather that the studios wanted to plan a stake in the date.

Transformers opened July 2, 2007; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen debuts on June 24, 2009.

So far, Transformers 3 has no direct competition in its July 1, 2011 date.

Paramount also has moved up the release of Marvel Studios' Thor from June 17, 2011 to May 20, 2011. This move sets the release for Thor just two weeks after Spider-Man 4 opens on May 6, 2011.

Like they won't make a third Transformers movie. Come on, be realistic. Obviously it's a go unless something disastrous happens with the second one – and I doubt that's going to happen. As for Thor, moving it closer to Spider-Man might hurt it, but who knows if Spider-Man will even keep that date. Anyway, I don't think it will make that much of a difference. I wouldn't be marking any calendars just yet, though. A lot can happen in over two years.


Abrams Producing a Diamond Heist

Paramount has bought film rights to an upcoming Wired magazine article about a band of Italian diamond thieves. Variety says J.J. Abrams is producing through his Bad Robot production company.

Joshua Davis, who has turned a number of his Wired articles into feature projects, wrote the story for the April issue of the magazine.

The article chronicles the crime thought to have been carried out by Leonardo Notarbartolo, who was arrested in February 2003 for heading a ring of Italian thieves. They were accused of breaking into a seemingly impenetrable vault beneath the Antwerp Diamond Center and making off with at least $100 million in loot that's never been found.

Based on circumstantial evidence, Notarbartolo was sentenced to 10 years; he was released from a Belgium prison this week.

As you might know, I've been really into heist movies lately and this sounds like a good one. Lifting a story from a Wired article sounds interesting but obviously it's worked before. Presumably it's a sophisticated technological process in the film if it was in Wired so it should be interesting. I'm still not in line with Abrams, but hopefully once Star Trek hits my mind will be changed. We'll have to see.


Efron Wants to be Johnny Quest

"High School Musical" franchise star Zac Efron talked to Moviehole about possibly starring in a live-action adaptation of "Jonny Quest" at Warner Bros. Pictures. Race to Witch Mountain director Andy Fick and star Dwayne Johnson are circling the project as well.

Efron would play the title role, while Johnson would play Race Bannon. The popular 1960s animated Hanna-Barbera TV series revolved around a young boy who travels the world with his scientist father, adopted brother from India, Bandit the bulldog, and a government agent (Bannon) assigned to protect them as they go on their adventures investigating scientific mysteries.

Efron says the project is in its early stages. "It's a long, long process. It's so hard when people start leaking tidbits. They're very, very early on [with it] – not that it won't happen happen, it's just early."

A few weeks ago, Johnson commented on the script. "I don't know if you've read the latest [draft] but it's awesome and it's badass... I hadn't read an action script like that in a LONG time. And that action was unbelievable. That will happen."

The show, which is owned by Warner Bros. Animation, aired during primetime on ABC in 1964, lasting only one season. It was updated in the late '80s and '90s as "The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest" on the Cartoon Network. The property has also been spun off as a comic book from DC.

Sounds uninteresting to me. I've never heard of the cartoon although it obviously wasn't that good if it died in one season. It doesn't sound like something that would spark the imagination of the youth, but who knows. With the success of Witch Mountain this seems like a better idea, and with Dwayne all into the kids stuff lately, it sounds like a go. I don't like Efron, though, and it seems like he might be a little older than the cartoon intended, but let's see if this gets off the ground first.


Hayek Joining Sandler Comedy

JoBlo has learned that Salma Hayek will star in director Dennis Dugan's untitled Happy Madison comedy, coming to theaters on March 12, 2010.

She'll be joining a cast that includes Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade. The Columbia Pictures release is about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend.

The site says that Salma would star as Sandler's wife in the film and mother to their daughters. They are also hearing that Sandler pals Norm McDonald and Steve Buscemi are joining the cast of the project in smaller roles.

This sounds mildly interesting. Again, not the biggest comedy guy so I don't know about it, but it sounds like a pretty good, well-rounded cast of comedy stars, and that's a good start. Salma Hayek has proven her comedic prowess to me in 30 Rock this season, and with Buscemi on board as well, even I think this sounds like it has potential. Hopefully it all works out.


Chow Yun-Fat Embodying Confucius

Chow Yun-Fat will play ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius in a new biopic backed by the Chinese government, reports Variety.

Shooting starts later this month on the Hu Mei-directed film at Hebei province and at Hengdian studios. The movie will screen later this year to mark the 60th anniversary of the People's Republic of China and Chinese thinker/social philosopher's 2,560th birthday.

Chairman Mao Zedong condemned Confucius, and during the disastrous Cultural Revolution, Red Guards destroyed Confucius' family home, family grave plot and a temple in his honor in his eastern hometown of Qufu, wrecking around 6,600 priceless relics. The philosopher's teachings are now gaining popularity as a way of bringing morals to the country which is contending with burgeoning wealth and the rise of consumerism.

Interesting idea. The Chinese government has a good idea, using Confucius to try and curb the consumerism in their country, and this is probably only a small part of their plan – and a well thought one at that. Chow Yun-Fat has the acting skills to play the role, although I always imagined Confucius a bit leaner than him. Hopefully we'll get to see this over here, too, as I'm curious to see how this turns out.


Raimi Talks Spidey

Both MTV and IGN talked to director Sam Raimi on Sunday about Spider-Man 4, which just received a release date of May 6, 2011 last week.

Raimi says that he and the production team are "in the earliest stages of working with the writer, trying to work out a story." He added that they are just working on the fourth installment and not also a fifth film. Previous reports had claimed that Sony Pictures would be making the fourth and fifth movies at the same time, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

The helmer said that they are closing in on Spider-Man's adversary or adversaries for the fourth pic. "All the characters or villains or villains, whatever we decide to do will be from Stan Lee's creations or those that came after him," he said.

And will Kirsten Dunst return as Mary Jane Watson? If it was up to Raimi, definitely: "I'm hoping she'll be in it and I'm planning on having a story with her in it... It wouldn't be the Spider-Man series without her."

Well obviously Raimi wants Dunst to return, why would he want to replace her? Whether she's up for it is a completely different matter. As for the news, it's nothing surprising. The two-films-at-once strategy has never really panned out for anyone in the past little while. This film will almost certainly contain multiple villains. As you all know, I don't like Spider-Man, or at least its film interpretation, so I could care less about any of this. Raimi had better figure out how to pick up the pieces from his last outing, though, because I know a lot of people who were fans of the movies who did not like the third one.


MacGyver Being Reborn on the Big Screen

The Hollywood Reporter says that New Line Cinema is bringing MacGyver to the big screen.

Raffaella De Laurentiis, daughter of Dino De Laurentiis, is producing through her Raffaella Productions along with Martha De Laurentiis and series creator Lee Zlotoff. Dino De Laurentiis is executive producing.

"MacGyver" ran on ABC from 1985-92. Richard Dean Anderson, later of "Stargate: Atlantis" and "SG-1" fame, starred as an incredibly resourceful secret agent for the Phoenix Foundation who frequently would escape from dangerous situations with ingenious and lightning-quick engineering trickery.

No writer is attached, but the studio hopes to find a script that can acknowledge how the concept has staked a place into pop culture yet still makes for a serious and fun adventure movie.

"We think we're a stick of chewing gum, a paper clip and an A-list writer away from a global franchise," said New Line's Richard Brener.

And yet another old television show gets pulled out of the closet, dusted off, and sapped for all that its worth. It is nice to see these old shows get a new coat and regain some of their former popularity, but at the same time, so much can go wrong, and so often they're not even close to the originals, that I'm not sure it's worth the risk. MacGyver has potential to turn out okay but I'm concerned this could turn out cheesy and unappealing to today's generation. We'll have to see, I guess.


Journey to the Center of the Earth Getting a Sequel

New Line is reteaming with Walden Media and ContraFilm for a sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth, reports Variety.

The sequel is based on Richard Outten's script Mysterious Travels: The Lost Map of Treasure Island, in which Prof. Trevor Anderson and his nephew embark on a journey to a mysterious island that was the subject of three classic novels (Jules Verne's "Mysterious Island," Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island" and Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver's Travels").

Journey to the Center of the Earth, starring Brendan Fraser, Josh Hutcherson and Anita Briem, earned $101 million domestically and another $140 million overseas this summer.

Eric Brevig, who directed "Journey" but has not yet committed to helm "Mysterious Travels," is working with Outten to develop the script for the sequel.

Can't say I'm that surprised, considering the success of the first. I actually haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but I've heard some good things. It's kind of neat that they're pulling from these old books again to create a new story – they're not simply pulling things out of thin air, they're kind of staying faithful to the old stories, and I find that neat.


Rapid-Fire: Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975, starring Rachel Roberts, Vivean Gray, Helen Morse)

One of my last feature-length Film Studies films, as one of the next few weeks is animation and there are only three labs left. Thank god! But anyway, this week I present to you an Australian film supposedly representing the unit called "Auteur Theory":

This is a very strange film. It's presumably based on a true story from 1900, about three girls who mysteriously disappear on a picnic. This is all laid out with a title card at the start of the film. From the outset I figured it might be an interesting movie. You don't know which girls are going to disappear, obviously, or under what circumstances; there should be a good search, and finally a mysterious ending that gives you no closure.

All those predicted points are right on. The problem is their execution. Almost immediately you know who disappears. Their disappearance (I suppose sticking with the supernatural/mysterious side of things) is completely unexplained and there is no effort to put it in understandable terms for the audience. Once they initially disappear the movie drags on until the ending, which is a terrible, nonsensical one which not only leaves you with no closure, it confuses you even more than you would have thought possible.

One of the side problems to the movie (besides the plot, the acting, and whatnot) is the sound. I don't know what happened – whether it was on purpose, or a problem with how I was watching the movie – but the sound is extremely high-pitched and sharp, and a lot of the time covers up completely what is being said. Couple that with the accents of the actors and you've got no idea what is being said for large parts of the film. It also grates on the ears when no one is talking. Maybe it was supposed to enhance the supernatural or mysterious side of things but it was just annoying. The other strange part was random things thrown in that were presumably supposed to represent symbolism and imagery but ended up being absolutely ridiculous points to laugh at. The most vivid is when there is a swan in the boy's room. It was probably intended to mean something but just comes off as ridiculous.

The acting, quite simply, is atrocious. All of the girls are young and presumably inexperienced actresses, and while some of them do a fine job, most of the time you're left cringing at their inability to pull off anything serious. The boys are not too bad (besides a very ridiculous scene where one of them starts bleeding and crawling inexplicably) but they're also a very small part of the film. Even the older women aren't very good. Only the one schoolteacher who goes missing is halfway acceptable.

This movie is one that has a lot of potential. It could have been a very eerie, scary, interesting drama. Instead, it turns out as an uninteresting, drawn out film that doesn't really have any merit. Maybe I'm being hard on it, but I saw nothing of value in this film.


Closing Time . . .

I need to choose some movies to go see over the next little while, because I've got a couple two-for-one tickets and they need to be used before the end of April. Knowing looks good, as does Watchmen. The new Fast and Furious also lies in my range. I'm going to try to see something this weekend. But anyway. Everyone have a good week, and I will talk to you again next week, hopefully when it feels like spring.


[All news, images, and other stuff from www.comingsoon.net, www.imdb.com, www.rottentomatoes.com and www.youtube.com.]