The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 03.23.09: Issue #52

Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 03.23.2009

"Six Reasons Why" (2008)

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #52: "Six Reasons Why" (2008)

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never driven a van loaded with counterfeit T-shirts off a cliff and then, for no reason whatsoever, exploded in mid-air, littering the ground below with flaming pieces of fabric, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number fifty-two, I take a look at the super ultra mega low budget weird beard western from 2008 "Six Reasons Why."

Six Reasons Why


"Six Reasons Why," written and directed by Jeff and Mathew Campagna (they also act in the movie), is a mesmerizing tale of four men that we, when the movie starts, find pointing guns at one another. We don't why they're pointing their guns. We don't what brought them to the little patch of desert nowhere. The only thing we know is that, eventually, these four guys are going to shoot at one another, and some of them are probably going to die. Maybe.

The four men are as follows: there's The Nomad (Dan Wooster), a gunfighter with a dark and mysterious background that may involve some kind of supernatural mysticism (he's told about some kind of prophecy as a young boy by The Preacher, played by Colm Feore, who is the only actor you're likely to recognize among the cast). There's the Entrepreneur (Christopher Harrison), who is searching for the killer of his father (Aaron Harrison). There's the Sherpa (Mads Koudal), who strikes up a partnership with the Entrepreneur and joins in the hunt for the killer of the Entrepreneur's father, all the while trying to escape his own freaky past. And then there's the Criminal (Jeff Campagna), the man responsible for murdering the Entrepreneur's father and the man who, after striking up a kind of friendship with the Nomad, steals the man's horse.

Now, your general enjoyment of the movie is likely going to rest on how you feel about flashbacks, as the movie is chock full of them. In fact, that's how we find out who all of the characters are and how they're all connected to one another. If you're not a fan of flashbacks, then you're probably going to get bored with the story pretty quickly. I've never been a fan of flashbacks, but for some strange reason I didn't mind the use of them here. The flashbacks actually help add to the general oddness of the story. And, yes, despite the relatively straight forward way the characters pathways cross, the story is odd. The movie is a western (there are cowboy hats and horses, six shooters and vast desert landscapes as far as the eye can see), but there's also a sort of supernatural mysticism to the proceedings that may or may not extend to solely the Nomad. Which brings us to the second aspect of the movie that may hinder or enhance your enjoyment of the movie, and that's the presence of the Preacher character.

I'm not all that clear on what exactly the Preacher is supposed to be. I don't know if he's meant to be some kind of weirdo that can see the future, or if he himself is meant to be supernatural. Colm Feore gives the Preacher character this creepy cadence that reminds me of Andrew Robinson in "Trancers III: Deth Lives," while at the same time appearing about as normal as a person can appear explaining to a young boy that he's been chosen to wander the desert for reasons that aren't quite clear (well, the reasoning wasn't clear to me). When the Preacher appears, mostly in flashback, you can't keep your eyes off the screen. You pay attention to what he says while never absorbing what it is he's really saying. That feeling is partly attributed to the style of the flashback (it's gritty), but mostly it's because Feore is so amazing. You wish he appeared more often than he does.

The cast, more or less, is pretty decent. Wooster plays the Nomad as the ultimate bad ass. The man walks around the desert wearing a pair of cowboy boots with rips and holes in them (his pinky toe is explosed to the elements). He eventually gets a new pair of boots (at least I think he does. He does blow away a guy named Milton at the very beginning of the movie, doesn't he?), which he then uses to help him beat the crap out of both the Entrepreneur and the Sherpa. The Nomad doesn't really trust them (he doesn't trust anyone, really) and tries to keep them at arm's length at all times. Christopher Harrison does a good job as the Entrepreneur. Harrison plays the character with a kind of naivete that elicits sympathy from the audience, especially when bad stuff directly happens to him (the Nomad hits him in the face with the butt of his rifle, smacks him around some later on, then hogties him and places a pile of bullets in front of his face, the idea being that eventually the brutal, harsh sun above will heat up the bullets and cause them to explode, which is a pretty horrific way to die if you ask me).

Mads Koudal is okay as the Sherpa. He's just not as good as Wooster or Harrison. He has an accent that never really grows on you (he's also the only one in the movie with an accent, which doesn't help the cause for Koudal). And what's the deal with his long speech where he explains what it is he's running from? Why does it resemble that Sting song "I Hung My Head," which was recently covered by Johnny Cash on one of those "American" albums produced by Rick Rubin (I think it was the fourth album, "The Man Comes Around")? Are we supposed to take something from that connection or is it merely a coincidence? And then there's Jeff Campagna as the Criminal. Campagna is hysterical as the Criminal everyone seems to be in the middle of tracking down. The first time we see him, he's spitting tobacco like a lawn sprinkler shoots out water. The tobacco spitting is so nasty it makes you wonder why his character's name isn't "goober" or "goob." He also looks like he's having the time of his life in front of the camera. The whole stand off scene is full of cuts between various personal quiet moments, where the characters size one another up. The Criminal is the only one you know for sure is eventually going to shoot. You can see it in his eyes. He's almost the equal of Feore. Almost.

Now, the flick does have its flaws. Most of the flaws are a result of the flick's budget, but the flaws are there and you will notice them. Despite its relatively quick 89 minute running time, there are moments where the movie bogs down for no apparent reason. The sound is a little iffy at times (although that may be my TV's speakers). And there are times where the movie shows its obvious low budget hand but can't mask it (basically, it's any time the movie isn't out in the rocky desert). However, I will say that, in an overall sense, the flick's flaws don't overwhelm the movie at all, and to a certain extent they kind of add to the flick's character.

I do have a few questions, though. What is that machine that, I believe the Nomad, puts in his saddle bag? And is it me, or is there a moment towards the beginning of the movie where it seems like the horse is narrating the story? And are the Campagna brothers big fans of Stephen King's The Dark Tower?

I want to see this movie again. And I'm sure after watching it a second time I'll probably want to see it again after that. It is that kind of movie. I'm sure I missed something. I advise you to hunt this flick down and check it out. "Six Reasons Why" is definitely worth a look.

See it, see it, see it.

So what do we have here? Gratuitous four man stand off, gratuitous guy spitting tobacco, gratuitous cowboy boot with a hole in it and, as a result, an exposed pinky toe, gratuitous guy using binoculars, gratuitous cool pseudo western opening titles music, gratuitous "and Colm Feore as The Preacher," gratuitous Colm Feore, gratuitous black guy, contaminated water, finding ground water, gratuitous extended scene of gusy eating beans in the dark, booze drinking, gratuitous blasphemy, gratuitous more Colm Feore, mutliple rifle strikes to the face, a flashback involving a hat, gratuitous pseudo western bar scene, gratuitous Japanese female waiters in the saloon, off screen throat shooting, gratuitous talking about air buses, face beating, pistol handle cleaning, gratuitous dialogue that resembles Sting song "I Hung My Head," gratuitous western hogtie bondage, a pile of money, gratuitous guy urinating into a cup and then drinking the piss (at least I think that's what happened), an extended explanation of how to shoot a guy twelve times and why shooting a man in the throat damns his soul, and an ending that means something big but will require you to watch the movie a few times.

Best lines: "Those are some fine looking boots, Milton," "Like I said, Milton, ain't nothing past this desert," "I wouldn't drink that if I were you," "Drink up, laides. It's supper time," "I've never seen a toonbox like that before," "Besides, it's not who you kill, it's why you started killing in the first place," "Watch for the burn of the exiles," "Sorry. Sorry for the rifle whippings, boys," "You know, what happened back there, you learn to live with it," "How is that supposed to make me feel better?," "Well, that's going to take a lot of dynamite. But it's okay. I hear a little goes a long way," "What the fuck is that?," "Long way from home, boys?," "Get your gear. We're moving on," "You ride bare back?," "I don't see the need in wasting twelve rounds in a single man," "I think I need you to shoot me," "You double crossing rat bastard!," and "You know, if there's one thing I've learned living in these goddamn cities, it's if you're not cheating you're not trying hard enough."

Rating: 9.0/10.0

***

Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.

"Six Reasons Why"

Dan Wooster- The Nomad
Mads Koudal- The Sherpa
Christopher Harrison- The Entrepreneur
Jeff Campagna- The Criminal
Colm Feore- The Preacher
Aaron Harrison- The Entrepreneur's Father
Directed by Jeff Campagna and Mathew Campagna
Screenplay by Jeff Campagna and Mathew Campagna
Distributed by Image Entertainment
Rated R for some violence and language
Runtime- 89 minutes
Buy it here