The Happy Critic DVD Review: Notes on a Scandal
Posted by Ryan Latimer on 04.18.2007
I really don't think a teaser will help with this one...
The following is a conversation held in an internet IM (Instant Message) session on the weekend of April 14th, 2007. One name has been changed to “Superman” for privacy purposes.
Superman: Hey, Ryan, how goes it.
Ryan Latimer: Eh, I’ve had better days. Getting over being sick. Usual stuff.
Superman: You’re sick again? Are you opening door knobs with your mouth or something?
Latimer: That was one time, and you know I was wasted that day.
Superman: So, what have you been doing to occupy your time?
Latimer: Well, I do have a new Wii game, Super Paper Mario, which rules, but recently I’ve been concentrating on my latest DVD review for 411mania that Ashish gave me along with Mind of Mencia. It’s giving me a hard as hell time.
Superman: What do you mean. Cause you’re sick?
Latimer: Just can’t concentrate, really. No, not because of that, honestly. It’s just…well, I don’t know.
Superman: C’mon, you can tell me. You know you can trust me. Whatever it is, it won’t reach any farther than our little IM session. Promise swear, needle in my eye manure pie stuff.
Latimer: Um, this from the guy that let loose that I cried at the end of The Land Before Time?
Superman: We were 7.
Latimer: That was still a dick thing to do. I got beat up for a week.
Superman: Your goggle glasses probably didn’t help, doofus. But anyway, back to topic. We were discussing why you’re having a hard time with something and I was pretending to care.
Latimer: Well, it’s just that…I don’t know if I can do the review or not. Or frankly, if I should do it. It’s complicated.
Superman: No it’s not, you just don’t want to tell me. What’s so bad about the situation. What, were you saddled with a crummy film? Did you get to review “Grey’s Anatomy Volume 1” for something?
Latimer: No, but you’re getting close.
Superman: “Grey’s Anatomy?”
Latimer: No, HELL no. Ashish wouldn’t do that to me. But I didn’t like the film I got.
Superman: Just ask him if you really are expected to review it. Get out of it. Make up a story. Tell him you got into a fight at a bar and killed a guy, now you’re in jail. He’ll believe it, plus you’ll earn hardcore street cred.
Latimer: I asked him, actually. Jake Ziegler reviewed the movie in January, so I thought I had an out. Ashish said if there were no extras on disc I got (it was a screener), then don’t bother.
Superman: And were there extras on it?
Latimer: Yup.
Superman: Shit. Ok, so it was a film, and you didn’t like it. What’s so bad about that? For crying out loud, you’ve reviewed how many a bad horror film on 411 and walked out of how many more? This is cinchy.
Latimer: This is different. I requested the damn thing. I don‘t know what it is with me. First I take on Beavis and Butthead and fail to realize how hard it will be to create a quasi-professional journalistic review of such material, then I agree to do Jackass Number Two, and you know how that went…maybe I need to keep my mouth shut for a while and stick to FOF in politics. At least being yelled at by Ray Church is fun sometimes.
Superman: So…again, what the issue, here. I’m like you sonny, short attention span.
Latimer: I hated the movie. Hated it, hated it. There, I said it.
Superman: Ok, what film. What’s it about.
Latimer: Notes on a Scandal. Heard of it?
Superman: Nope, sorry.
Latimer: It has Judi Dench, Cate Blanchett and Bill Nighy. Blanchett plays Sheba Hart, a young and venerable pottery teacher who arrives at a new school in London and is caught having an affair with one of her male students. Dench plays Barb Covett, a cranky, distant but respected veteran teacher at the school who practically looks down on everyone but somehow establishes a relationship with Hart. The story is sort of told through her perspective of the ordeal via voiceover and notes she took during the scandal. Soon Hart is caught and crap hit’s the fan. Bill Nighy plays the much older husband to Hart…
Superman: Hey, Bill Nighy! That’s good. He was great in Shaun of the Dead. Man, how many times have we seen that sucker! Hey, let’s play Quote the Film. Me first: “Don’t forget to kill Phillip!”
Latimer: Not now, dammit. Are you even listening to me?
Superman: Sorry, fine. But anyway, so what that you disliked it? I’m sure you could come up with something. I mean, there is an easy Fox News/CNN news media-loves-the-recurring-story-of-whore-teachers-screwing-their-students-recently-and-contributing-to-the-downfall-of-news-outlets-and-the-very-state-of-our-society joke in there somewhere. Make people laugh or something. You’re a funny guy. Just look in the mirror.
Latimer: This isn’t some stupid horror flick, pal of mine. It’s an “art house film.”
Superman: What the hell is that.
Latimer: You know, art house film. To tell you the truth, I really don’t know the true definition, either. It’s kinda ambiguous. Doesn’t really mean one specific type of cinema. Hard to explain.
Superman: Try Wikipedia. It is the bible of the internet, and it always speaks the truth.
Latimer: You’re an idiot, but good idea. Hold on…
Superman: K, I’ll go look up some more porn while you’re gone.
Latimer:…ok, back. Here we go:art film (also called an “art cinema”, “art movie”, or in the US, an "independent film" or “art house film”) is a typically a serious, noncommercial, independently made film that is aimed at a niche audience, rather than a mass audience.[1] Film critics and film studies scholars typically define an “art film” using a “...canon of films and those formal qualities that mark them as different from mainstream Hollywood films.”[2] Art film producers usually present their films at specialty theatres (repertory cinemas, or in the US "arthouse cinemas") and film festivals.
Superman: Got it, one of “those” films. But you’ve done the “unconventional” before, homes, and you even watch those types sometimes. It’s not like you’re just an avid mainstream film-goer who only indulges in Ghost Rider and The Marine. I think you know your stuff. What’s the big deal with doing a review.
Latimer: Well, first, as mentioned, I thought the film sucked. I swear I had to sew my eyes open to keep from falling asleep in boredom. It was brutal. There was nothing to it. I may be exaggerating a bit, but I just want you to understand how I didn’t care for it. Second, I think I “know my stuff” a lot less than you think. I’m not a film expert. I’m barely a film buff. Leonard Hayhurst is a film buff. There is a reason he does Ask 411 Movies. I don’t know shit. I’m a hack. My dislike for this boring piece of crap is proof. Third, I can’t put these notes I have into any sort of review form. I mean, c’mon, I did it while practically half-asleep. Fourth, I trash this film, there goes any credibly I have in movies. You don’t trash “art house films.” When you do, you’re considered dense - you don‘t “get it“ because you‘re not “intelligent enough to get it.”. You get me, right? It will expose me!! Take Jake Ziegler, 411’s film god of choice. He gave Notes on a Scandal a glowing review. He obviously knows something I don’t, and he’s far more in tune to the aspects of filmmaking than I am, apparently. Remember, I “don’t get it.”
Superman: Ok, calm yourself, speedy. Let’s break all this down one-by-one.
Latimer: Fine.
Superman: Ok, first, I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit here. You may not be a film buff or expert, but you do love film, and I’d like to think that YOU’D like to think you know something in terms of what makes a good movie work. Sure folks like Zeigler and Hayhurst are ahead of you in status and knowledge, but that’s fine. They like what they like and you like what you like. You hated Notes, and yet the world continues to exist and your brain continues to thrive and prosper. A 411 review of why you didn’t like it won’t shatter your world or both of your fans. It doesn’t make you stupid or ignorant. Save that label for the folks who truly believe Bad Boys 2 was epic filmmaking and worthy of praise.
Latimer: I’m blushing.
Superman: Not done. Speaking of a review, I’m sure there is something there in your notes that can serve as material for a column or something. I’ll help. Let’s see what you got.
Latimer: In my notes?
Superman: No, in your Easter basket. Yeah, dingus, your notes.
Latimer: Alright, he’s what I got: - “Dench seems to hate her students and staff. Distant. Druggies she calls them.”
- “Critical and analytical of everything. Narrates by dairy”
- “I don’t think this translates well from book to film, drab and boring. Reminds me of why I don‘t read novels. Suppose I‘m not smart enough”
- “Dench seems to narrate like we give a rat’s ass how she feels about stuff”
- “Blanchet hates her life, disconnected from older husband, family life colorless”
- “Film seems to move in fast-forward”
- “No characters, not interested in them”
- “Go to store”
- “Take out trash”
- “Work out”
- “Mail letter…”
Superman: What, what the hell.
Latimer: Oh, sorry, that was part of my To-Do list.
Superman: You started making a To-Do list during the film.
Latimer:…yeah, a lot of other stuff to.
Superman: Dear God, man.
Latimer: Don’t judge me. It’s not like you’re a saint yourself.
Superman: Alright, alright, don’t panic. Look, there are ways around this. Why don’t you just copy-and-paste another review from another website? There are millions out there. No one will know.
Latimer: You want me to plagiarize? Why don’t you just ask me to shoot myself? Absolutely not. And f-you for suggesting that.
Superman: You’re emotions make you weak, Ryan. That’s why I’m more successful than you.
Latimer: You pump gas.
Superman: It’s a living.
Latimer: Why do I seek your counsel?
Superman: Cause you love me. You know you do.
Latimer: Sigh. Look, I’ll figure something out. Anyway, are we still on for a film this weekend?
Superman: Yeah. I need to get out of the house. What did you have in mind?
Latimer: I had it down to Grindhouse, Shooter and The Perfect Stranger
Superman: Haven’t heard of The Perfect Stranger What’s that one.
Latimer: Here’s Yahoo Movie’s plotline: “The Perfect Stranger" is an intimate, thought-provoking story about a troubled woman who comes face to face with the most unforgettable man she will ever meet... all because of a simple dinner invitation.”
Superman: Nah, I don’t watch art house films…
5.0
The Video
Nice clean transfer. Widescreen 1.78:1 Aspect Ratio
8.0
The Audio
Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround), Spanish (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround. English/Spanish subtitles. There is an audio track available with director Richard Eyre, and he is surprisingly informative on the nature of filmmaking and his project here.
8.0
The Extras
A quick glance at the back cover might give the impression that this disc has a fair amount to offer in terms of extras, but I believe this is a bit misleading. All bits are only a few minutes in length, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like most of them are just carbon copies of each other with different colors. Perhaps if gave a crap about the movie I’d be more receptive, but I don’t, so I’m not.
The first two are “Behind the Scenes” and “The Story of Two Obsessions,” which are pretty much what you’d expect - a few of the actors give their take on the nature of their characters and the plot, mixed with the author of the book it’s based on, the screenwriter and the director speaking on what they were trying to accomplish. Dench and Blanchett also discuss difficult scenes to shoot due to the emotion involved, showing their impressive level of acting ability. It’s informative if unspectacular, your basic interview sessions for DVD release.
Next we get “In Character with Cate Blanchett.” Really? A chat session with Blanchett as Sheba Hart? That’s new. But nope, just Blanchett discussing her role in the film and her character. Running length: less than two minutes. They could have easily just incorporated this in the previous docs.
Rounding it out are Webisodes and a theatrical trailer. The Webisodes are more discussions with the actors delving into the plot of the film explaining their characters, intercut with more film footage (some of which runs longer than the new footage). Each Webisode is extremely short and are of web-streaming quality. Reviewing all of this, it’s quite obvious that 20th Century Fox could have just created one healthy 20-minute behind-the-scenes doc that incorporated all this separated footage (which would have been fine), but they went with the alternative route of splitting it up and thus expanding the lure of the listed extras. The lone bright spot is a one-on-one conversation that Bill Night and Cate Blanchett have on making the movie, but they speak in such an uninterested and monotone voice that you wonder if they were forced to partake as a result of contract fine print. Ok, now I’m just being mean.
5.5
The 411: The causal or even avid movie-goer may want to trend carefully when deciding on whether to pick this up, but the Art House Fan, whoever that is, will enjoy it. So I’m told.
