The Alternate Ending DVD Review: Night at the Museum
Posted by Dave Tomlinson on 05.02.2007
Talented cast has a rough "night".
Night at the Museum
Film:
Ben, Ben, Ben… The talented Mr. Stiller really needs to be more consistent in his choice of roles. For every winner like “Dodgeball”, “Zoolander”, or the underrated “Keeping the Faith”, he makes some trite cutesy little pile of lame like “Meet the Fockers”, “Duplex” or the this weeks new release “Night at the Museum”.
It’s been brought to my attention recently that all the reviews I’ve written thus far in my tenure here at 411 have been… well pretty glowing. So I got lucky this week as my mom needed a movie to show her kids (she’s a school social worker) for a party, so I hit the video store to grab some family flicks for her to pick from. Now, I won’t say I sat down to watch “Night” hoping to hate it, but lets just say I had a hunch it wouldn’t be that great. And I was right.
Stiller stars as Larry, a ne’er do well divorced dad who’s having trouble finding or keeping a job. After he gets evicted his sympathetic but fed up ex wife gives him and ultimatum: find a steady job and place to live, or she’ll pull his visitation rights. Add to that his sons’ fascination with his new step dads (Paul Rudd) bond trading job, and Larry goes off in search of a more stable job.
After a pretty humorous scene at the unemployment agency, Larry finds himself with a job as the night guard at the Museum of Natural History. He gets a surprisingly warm reception from the three older guards (Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, Bill Cobbs) who are being fired to cut costs, who treat him like family. However, not so much from the Museum’s director (Ricky Gervais) who has a comically hard time articulating his thoughts. The super sexy Carla Gugino (you saw “Sin City” you know what I’m talkin’ about) rounds out the staff as Rebecca, who really should just have a sign around her neck that says “romantic lead”. Of course we all know what happens next, as once he’s left alone, Larry finds that all the exhibits come to life thanks to an Egyptian tablet the museum acquired years earlier.
To say the flick outright sucked might be a bit simplistic, but it’s not far off. Essentially what we have here is a lame “Jumanji” rip off with little of the wit or charm. The giant T-Rex skeleton that just wants to play fetch? Lame. The giant Easter Island head that’s obsessed with bubble gum? Yawn. And of course the precocious monkey that likes to steal the guards’ keys. Odds are you or I could have written most of these jokes. Granted there are a few winners here, Stiller usually can turn up a few comic gems even in his lamer flicks. And there really is a talented cast here, even if they are wasted on a sub-par film. Robin Williams turn as the life size statue of Teddy Roosevelt is just as winning as it sounds, and the ongoing feud between the cowboy diorama and the ancient Romans is pretty funny. Owen Wilson playing a miniature cowboy pretty well writes itself. And of course, you can’t go wrong with Ricky Gervais playing a stuffy uptight Brit.
The big surprise might be the pedigree of the writing team that gave us this nonsense. Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon gave us some great zany TV like MTV’s “The State” (back when MTV was watchable), and Comedy Centrals “Viva Variety” and “Reno 911”. But then again they did write “Herbie: Fully Loaded”… stick to TV guys. Shawn Levy has pretty well made a career out of directing the lame and uninspired (Steve Martins lousy “Pink Panther” remake and “Cheaper by the Dozen” among them), so no shocker there. It does, however, worry me sad to think that Levy’s upcoming “The Hardy Men”, also starring Stiller, but with a very promising premise, might be as bad as this movie is. Meh.
Extras:
Commentaries: Two to be exact. Though if you want really get into the making of the film, check out the 2 disc edition that I didn’t have available to me. Nothing special on the commentaries either, I listened to about half of each one (I couldn’t watch this movie a third time).
Tech Specs: Video
Well the movie was known for its special effects, and at least on the front it doesn’t fail. A great transfer so you catch all the action, I’m sure the Blu-ray looks even better.
Audio
Again, it’s a special effects movie, so they have a great mix here. Too bad there isn’t much worth listening to.
The 411: This really could have been something special. A talented cast with a premise that’s promising if somewhat played, and yet it falls flat. Do yourself a favor, save your money and go rent “Jumanji” for a much better told story, with a lot more heart.
