411 Retro TV Review: The Muppet Show 2.2
Posted by Ben Piper on 10.10.2007
... It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight...
Jim Henson, his creative cohorts, and their masterful creation, the Muppets first came to national prominence in 1969 as a integral part of the then groundbreaking PBS children’s educational show Sesame Street. The characters grew to be a staple for kids of that time, with characters such as Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Bert and Ernie, and of course, Kermit the Frog. However, Henson saw bigger things for his life work, which led to the launching of the more entertainment based The Muppet Show in January of 1976. Kermit the Frog was the central character (which made sense, considering he was the first of Henson’s many creations) as he ran a vaudevillian type of variety show in which he was surrounded by many strange Muppet creatures, most notably Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy. The show was an instant success in syndication which lead to the big screen Muppet Movie in 1979. The Muppet Show continued on until 1981, but the Muppets by that point had ingrained themselves into the public consciousness permanently, to the point that they are still showing up on people’s radar.
Over the course of the weeks to come, I shall be rewatching and reviewing episodes from the shows Emmy winning (Outstanding Comedy-Variety or Musical Program) second season, which originally aired in 1977. Will the show still stand up after thirty years? We’ll see.
The host of this particular episode is Zero Mostel, a formerly blacklisted actor who is mostly known for his starring role opposite Gene Wilder in the original 1969 version of The Producers. The show opens with Scooter knocking on Mostel’s dressing room door to inform him that the show is about to begin, but he receives no answer. When Fozzie Bear passes by, Scooter asks him if he knows where Mostel is, and is informed that he’s in his dressing room meeting. Cut to Mostel, whom insists that he is not in fact in his dressing room meeting, he’s in his dressing room, being eaten! The camera pulls back to reveal a big hairy muppet hungrily half-swallowing Zero’s arm, as the actor throws assorted non-food items down the monster’s throat in a vain effort to satiate it’s appetite. Goofy throwaway gag to start. I approve.
Main title intro follows. Gonzo’s horn emits sparks and smoke.
Kermit then strolls out on stage to start the show formally. He shills the host for being able to act, sing, dance and do comedy, but it all adds up to a great big Zero, as in Zero Mostel. But first, in order to placate the culture lovers in the audience, Kermit introduces a classical Chopin piece, much to Sam the Eagle’s delight, who watches from the wings. Just then Fozzie informs Kermit from behind the curtain that the concert pianist couldn’t make it. That’s a problem, since Kermit already introduced the act. NOT a problem says Fozzie, whom hands Kermit a new introduction to read before disappearing back behind the curtain. Much to Sam’s consternation, the Chopin piece will now be performed by the Muppet rock band, Dr. Teeth.
Of course, this leads to a nice little musical number by the Dr. Teeth band, consisting of Dr. Teeth, Zoot, Floyd, Janice and Animal whom perform a contemporary version of the announced classical number. The music is good, and Animal repeatedly shouts CHOPIN at regular intervals. Sam continues to watch from the wings and bows his head in disgust and dismay.
Waldorf: You know, I’m really going to enjoy tonight.
Statler: You plan to like this show?!?
Waldorf: No, I plan to watch television! (he states as he sets up a portable set)
As the band comes off stage Kermit congratulates them on their performance by saying that you can’t beat the classics, you can only destroy them. As he passes, Floyd reminds Kermit that today is payday. Animal repeats the sentiment a couple of times which causes Kermit to respond that it’s payday again? It was just payday last year. Kermit goes over to the cashbox to see what’s inside and muppet moths fly out of it, which causes him to state that it’s more than they usually have. As Kermit laments how he is going to get the payroll money, Scooter overhears and asks how much he needs. Roughly 27 dollars Kermit replies. Just then, the backstage phone rings and Scooter runs off to get it. Turns out that it’s Scooter’s ruthless uncle J.P. who just so happens to own the Muppet theater. As Scooter talks to his Uncle, he asks him to put his cigar out as smoke bellows from the phone’s earpiece. The bespectacled Muppet relays the message that everything is fine, other than the fact that Kermit needs some money to make the payroll. Scooter hangs up the phone and states that his Uncle says that he’ll cough up the money if some good old- fashioned entertainment is put back into the show. Kermit asks what that entails. Irish tenors? Dog acts? Spoon players? Lady wrestlers, responds Scooter. Hey, I always suspected that Trish Stratus was really a Muppet!
Kermit steps out on stage to introduce Mostel. He is dressed in full on Henry the V garb as he is in a medieval type of setting. What follows is a song about what the simple folk do. His counterparts in this sketch is a tall supposedly regal looking female muppet with a large thin nose as well as a dog. At first the dog is a real one, but for creative purposes later on it’s replaced by a similar looking Muppet. At one point not to far into the song, Mostel goes over the top operatic and destroys parts of the set, which causes the Muppet dog to howl in response. Yes, it actually draws a laugh from me. The song then quickly reverts to its opening premise before it got sidetracked. Mostel does his best to keep this song afloat, and it’s his efforts that make it work. As he goes to kiss the female Muppet’s hand at the end of the song, the dog gets in his way and he kisses it instead, full on on the lips. To that, he responds by giving the (now again) real dog sitting on the floor an entire slab of whatever meat is available on the table.
Waldorf: Eh, what’s the name of this movie?
Statler: Beach Blanket Frankenstein.
Waldorf: Awful.
Statler: Terrible film.
Waldorf: Yeah, well, we could watch the Muppet Show instead.
At this point to the two grumpy elderly Muppets look toward the stage and shake their heads before turning their attention back to the TV.
Statler: Wonderful!
Waldorf: Terrific film!
Backstage Kermit worries about where he is going to find a couple of lady wrestlers on such short notice. He gets on the phone and makes some calls, none of which pan out. As he’s on the phone, there’s a knock on the backstage door. Animal just so happens to be walking by, so Kermit asks him to get the door. GET. THE. DOOR he responds before seeing to this simple task. As Kermit turns his attention back to his phone call he is distracted by a loud noise, which causes him to turn to see Animal carrying the backstage door, ripped off of it’s hinges to him. HERE DOOR! An elderly female Muppet sashays into view at this point as Animal departs. She comments on how they have such a dynamic doorman.
Cut to the recurring ballroom sketch, in which several sets of Muppets dance and trade bad puns and sight gags. This time around, it’s all centered around tennis jokes. It ends with one Muppet telling another that they should get a bigger racquet, which causes the Mad Bomber Muppet to crash the party, push his plunger and cause an explosion.
Backstage Sam the Eagle approaches Kermit and voices his concerns about the content of the program. He wants to make sure that the show is morally upright, cultural and wholesome, which causes an ugly monster Muppet to walk up and say “you’ve got your work cut out for you, bird.” Sam takes this comment as not cultural or wholesome whatsoever. I have to be honest, but I’m digging this little throwaway segment for they’re sending up Bill O’ Reilly a good two decades before the man ever comes to prominence. Sam the Eagle is a right wing blowhard stereotype, and they pretty much nail this send up on its head. Sam goes on to demand to know who and what is going to be on the rest of tonight’s show. Kermit goes through the show list, detail by detail, much to Sam’s approval. Well, until the lady wrestlers part. Kermit’s voice trails off, and Sam asks him to speak up. Kermit repeats himself, but Sam only gets half of the last word that the frog has spoken. Finally, Kermit comes clean, and Sam throws a fit over lady wrestlers being a part of the program. Sam speaks out on behalf of decency, saying that he will do everything he can to uphold decency, and that one day he will get his just desserts. Kermit agrees, as the Muppet monster that interjected before walks back in and hits Sam in his beak with a pie.
Up next is Dr. Bunson Honeydew and his excitable assistant, Beaker. Beaker is a shaky, nervous mess as Honeydew calls for him to come in and assist him in demonstrating his newest creation, magnetic carrots! As Honeydew plays up the scientific benefits of such a creation, Beaker shakes his head nervously behind his back to convey, that yeah, not so much. Beaker removes the cover as instructed and the carrots immediately fly towards and stick to a large metal device that Beaker is standing beside. As Honeydew brags about the benefits of magnetic carrots (such as being able to store them on the door of the fridge) his assistant tries in vain to pry them away from the metal they’ve fused themselves to. As this happens a rabbit robot (yes, you read that right) comes hopping into view. That of course brings the one drawback to magnetic carrots, Honeydew instructs, it tends to draw out steel rabbits. Poor Beaker gets bitchslapped out of view by the steel rabbit as Honeydew cowers. Once the rabbit has the carrots, it bounds out of view as Honeydew instructs the audience to tune in next time to learn the benefits of cast iron watch dogs.
Statler: Ah, let’s switch channels. This show is dull!
Waldorf: You bet. (changes channel.)
Statler: What is THAT?!
Waldorf: It looks like to old ancient guys sitting in a theater box watching television.
Statler: That’s crazy! No one would watch junk like that!
Backstage Mostel is approached by Sam the Eagle in his dressing room. Sam introduces himself as the upholder of decency for this show. As Sam pontificates, Mostel makes fun of him and mugs for the camera behind his back. Of course everytime Sam turns to look at Zero it is at the point that Mostel is mugging or threatening to hit him with a hammer or whatever and has to play it off as if this were nothing out of the ordinary. Again, Mostel sells this as if it were up for auction on eBay, which means it’s pretty good stuff.
Elsewhere backstage Kermit is approached by the elderly female Muppet from earlier in the show. Turns out she’s here for one of the lady wrestler spots, as she’s known as Granny the Gouger. (There’s a gimmick for Mae Young) Kermit thinks of this as a joke, which angers the old lady who goes to punch Kermit, but he ducks, and she proceeds to knock the fusebox off of the wall. (at least I think it’s the fusebox)
Up next is a musical number with Rolf on piano and Zoot on sax. It’s a nice, laid back number, but then Zoot’s horn begins to emit smoke, which causes Rolf to do a great double take. Zoot periodically stops playing long enough to peer into his horn and cough from the smoke. Soon enough, they’re both coughing uncontrollably as the smoke grows thicker but somehow manage to finish this little jam session. Nice mindless little sight gag.
Up next is Mostel onstage in a library setting. He speaks of confronting his fears, which manifest themselves in the form of several nasty looking monster Muppets. He speaks about them coming forth and then like that, they’re gone, which causes the Muppets to scurry out of view simultaneously. The monologue continues with Mostel always waving one index finger before the camera, with the Muppets coming and going at unexpected times on his cues. Again, as before, this whole thing rests upon the strength of Mostel’s performance, which is quite terrific.
Backstage, Kermit is worried because the show is almost over and he still hasn’t found another lady wrestler. “Oh where am I going to find another tough heavyweight lady with a killer’s instinct?” Cue Piggy, who comes in all glamorous and speaking in a loving high-pitched tone. Kermit tells her that he has just the right spot for her to participate in tonight. Of course, the sound of Kermit creating a spot for her on the show sounds great to Piggy so she almost smothers him with her affections. Kermit pours in on thick with the compliments, buttering Piggy up to the point that she’s thinking she’ll be playing Joan of Arc, Marie Antoinette, or Lady Macbeth. Of course, once Kermit informs her that she’ll be a lady wrestler, the high pitch lovey dovey voice is gone and the shrill gutteral angry voice comes out. As Kermit tries to explain himself Piggy begins to beathe heavily in anger, which to his credit, the frog takes notice of. She blows her top and he takes off running with her in hot pursuit. Floyd and Zoot wonder in as this is going on .
Zoot: What do you make of that, man?
Floyd: Ten to one on the pig.
Cut to Animal doing a drum solo. Doesn’t last long however, for he’s playing his drums so good it causes one of them to burst into flames.
Scooter comes out on stage to introduce the next act. Of course, it’s the lady wrestlers bit. Granny the Gouger is in the ring with Kermit, whom is wearing a mask and dressed in drag. The bell rings and Granny basically wipes the mat with the frog before tossing him out of the ring, causing him to land in Staler and Waldorf’s balcony. As Granny chuckles to herself about the beating she put on Kermit, Piggy walks in wanting to know what she has done to her frog. Piggy takes down the mean Granny with a single karate chop.
Cut to Kermit already onstage with one arm in a sling and covered in several band-aids. Kermit thanks and brings out Mostel, whom arrives in the company of a couple of the Muppet monsters making ghoulish faces imitating his present company. Sam the Eagle then steps out and tells him to stop that right away. Kermit invites us to check in next time for The Muppet Show, to which Mostel replies “Must there be a next time?” before sinking his teeth into Sam’s beak.
The 411: What a difference a week makes. The reason why this episode worked so well for me in contrast to the previous installment had a lot to do with the guest host, Zero Mostel. His commitment was amazing. Yeah, he was interacting with plush puppets, but sold the whole thing as if it were the most serious piece of acting he’s ever been a part of. Really nice work from him, as it appeared that he cared about what he was doing, rather than phoning in the same ol’ schtick that was expected of him like Knotts did the week before. It's a shame that he died not too long after this was recorded, for this proves what a truly great performer he was.
