Against the Groen(ing) 11.16.07: Life on the Fast Lane - Episode 9
Posted by Cory Lynn Schibler on 11.16.2007
It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch but it's served with a slice of cantaloupe at the end.
Welcome yet again to another enlightening helping of Against the Groen(ing). As always I’m your host Cory Schibler. Up this week is Life on the Fast lane, where home manages to nearly ruin his marriage again, but this time he has help from Marge and a suave bowling instructor.
To the show!
Original Air date: March 18, 1990 Production Code: 7G11
Principal Cast Homer: Dan Castellaneta Marge: Julie Kavner Bart: Nancy Cartwright Lisa: Yeardley Smith Jacques: Albert Brooks
Written by John Swartzwelder and Directed by David Silverman
No chalkboard or couch gags this week as we head straight into the action.
We start in the kitchen as Lisa and Bart are making breakfast for Marge’s birthday. As is usual with siblings, they argue over who got her a better present. Bart’s gift is a gallon jug of perfume that cost $4. Wow, that must smell wonderful. Lisa made macaroni art.
As the kids present breakfast to mom, we find out that Homer has forgotten her birthday. He then makes a mad dash to the mall where he purchases… a bowling ball. This will go well.
The family goes to dinner at the Singing Sirloin with Marge’s sisters Patty and Selma. The sisters are very open about their hatred of Homer, including talking about Marge looking for another husband and letting Homer choke on his steak, all while sitting across the table from him.
It is now the fateful moment where Marge opens her presents. While Bart begs Marge to try on his perfume (she is very resistant), Homer gives her the ball, which falls out and flattens her cake. We then see that Homer had his own name laser engraved on the ball.
Back at home, Marge confronts Homer about the fact he bought her the ball because he knew she would never use it and he wanted it for himself. Marge however vows to use the bowling ball so that Homer can’t.
At the Bowl-a-rama, Marge is a terrible bowler and is approached by the smooth talking Jacques (voiced by Albert Brooks). He begins to flirt with her and offers to teach her the finer points of bowling.
Since Marge will be spending time on the lanes, Homer is left in charge of the kids, where with the help of Marge’s list, he is getting along just fine.
Jacques, as smooth as ever, buys Marge a personalized bowling glove. After giving her a ride home, Jacques then delivers the best sequence of lines in season 1 BAR NONE.
Marge: “I’m a married woman.” Jacques: “I know. My mind says stop… but my heart and my hips cry ‘proceed.’ I’d like you to join me for brunch.” Marge: “What’s that?” Jacques: “It’s not quite breakfast, it’s not quite lunch but it’s served with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don’t get the completeness of breakfast but you get a good meal.”
It may not sound that funny, but when you hear Brooks’ delivery you will be on the floor.
Meanwhile back at home, Marge gives the children extra attention as they leave for school. Bart is excited that they are “making out like bandits” but Lisa believes that Marge is overcompensating. She believes that Bart is in the denial stage, which is why he doesn’t see it. He then vehemently denies it until she changes her mind.
At brunch, Reverend Lovejoy’s wife Helen sees Marge “sitting with a man not her husband, and … had to say hello.”
After Helen leaves, Jacques asks Marge to come to his apartment at the Fiesta Terrace. Marge then faints and we are treated to an amazing visual as she dreams what would happen if she went to the apartment.
Back at home; Bart and Homer have both realized that they may be losing Marge.
Marge hops in the car and we find out that the power plant where Homer works just happens to be at a fork in the road that leads to Fiesta Terrace. Marge spends a few seconds driving back and forth trying to decide which fork to take.
Luckily, true love prevails as Marge enters the power plant to the theme of An Officer and a Gentleman. Homer picks her up and begins to carry her out the door. The boys ask Homer what to tell the boss. Homer tells them this…
Homer: “Tell him I’m going to the backseat of my car with my wife… and I won’t be back for ten minutes!”
The 411: Swartzwelder wrote it so obviously this episode rules. More importantly, Albert Brooks is hilarious as Jacques and every character fleshes out this episode perfectly. It is definitely the best episode of season 1 and probably in the top 10 to 20 all time. A fine episode from a fine writer. 8.0 out of 10.0.
