Tales From Dog River 02.16.08: Corner Gas - Episode Three
Posted by Randy Harrison on 02.15.2008
Dog River is all abuzz over the new Pilates class, but not everyone is happy about it. Hank and Brent are locked in a bitter dispute over Brent's "shirt powers" and Oscar finds a way to show off his superior craftsmanship. All of this and more in the latest edition of Tales From Dog River as we look at "Pilates Twist".
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Tales From Dog River, and the review of best Canadian show on television, Corner Gas. First things first, I'd like to apologize for missing last week's review. As some of you who read my other columns on the site might know, I was sick all of last week and things started to come to a head on Friday and Saturday of last week and when it came time to take a look at the review, my energy was non-existent. So rather than put out something that was less than my best effort, I took the week off to recoup fully and be sure that I was bringing my best for this week's review.
This week, we're taking a look at the third episode of the first season "Pilates Twist". Lacey decides to start a Pilates class in Dog River and the town is less than enthused at the prospect. Brent and Hank argue over a shirt and Oscar decides that he's going to build himself a casket. There's lots to cover and lots of good stuff going on so let's get to it everybody. First, let's get to the plugs!
And for those of you who may be new fans of the show, new fans of the review, or might just need a refresher course on all things Dog River, be sure to check out the debut edition of Tales From Dog River to learn everything you need to know about the town and all of the quirky folk that call it home.
Episode Three: Pilates Twist (Originally Aired on February 4, 2004)
Brent pulls up to Corner Gas to open up for another day in a brand-new shirt that Wanda thinks is quite fetching. Brent claims he has a way with shirts and that he was walking by the store and just happened to see it in the bargain bin. He feels like he has "shirt powers" which seems a little much for Wanda so she admits that while it's an alright shirt, she was just buttering him up to try to get to leave work early. Brent is still convinced that he has shirt powers and that no one else would have been able to recognize this particular shirt's greatness. This inevitably brings Hank into the store to show off his new shirt, which is the exact same shirt Brent just bought. I knew it was coming and yet it's still funny.
After the opening credits we're in the local church with Emma and Oscar at a funeral, viewing the body and discussing how they thought that the deceased had actually died years ago. Oscar begins bagging on how cheap the coffin is and begins to inspect the workmanship before telling the corpse he got ripped off. Emma mocks Oscar's "Craftsman's eye" and brings up the birdhouse he built that the birds destroyed. Oscar blames the birds for roughhousing in it and that they should have just eaten and left.
Hank and Brent are over at the Ruby and they're trying to decide who gets to wear the shirt. Hank thinks that everyone in town will think that they're on some kind of team if they wear the shirt at the same time, prompting Brent to ask which team would ever wear plaid shirts. Hank thinks that this whole situation could ruin their friendship, prompting Brent to bring up the cult that wore sweatsuits and track shoes and how well they got along despite all committing suicide. Lacey comes over and says that they're both wearing lovely shirts before asking if they're on a team, with Hank freaking out so badly he leaves.
Lacey and Brent start talking and Lacey feels like she's been a little "oogy" lately and she thinks that maybe it's because she hasn't been able to do any pilates since she left Toronto and how she's going to try to start a class. Brent tells her that she should do it and Lacey brings up that she's not exactly the best public speaker and that she gets really nervous talking to large groups. Brent talks about how Lacey should conquer her fears and go for it and Lacey asks if Brent would join if she started a pilates class. She starts explaining it to him and he's already out.
Over at the Leroy house, Oscar thinks that Emma isn't giving him enough credit and that he's really handy with tools. Emma brings up the thirteen years that he's spent building a bookshelf. He talks about how he's going to build his own coffin because he doesn't want her spending three grand on a cheaply-made one. He asks her to give him one good reason why he couldn't build his own coffin and we get some cuts to the laundry list of things he's tried to build that failed, including the birdhouse mentioned earlier, and a hideous looking footstool. Oscar pouts that Emma brought up more than one reason and sits there all huffy. That's the great thing about these two, I swear. Whenever Oscar goes all squirelly, Emma is right there to snap him back into line.
In the Ruby, Lacey is starting to advertise her "Free" Pilates Class on the register and Wanda takes a look and wonders what it's about. Lacey explains a little about it and Wanda shoots her down. Lacey asks about whether Oscar is going to join and he kind of ignores her because he's too busy with the plans for building his coffin. He talks up all the features and the lumbar support that he's going to love, with Lacey injecting the sledgehammer of reality telling him that he'll be dead. Oscar doesn't care and tells her that he can't wait.
Hank and Brent are still going on about the shirt outside Corner Gas and Hank wants to know if Brent is going to wear it tomorrow to see if they can come up with a shirt plan to decide who gets to wear it on which days. Hank says he wants to wear it tomorrow and that the whole plan is to get a credit for the day that you want to wear it and when you do, you can buy another shirt day with that credit. That just sounds way too involved and yet still seems right, coming from Hank that is. Brent points out that Hank would already have a free credit to be able to buy the right to wear the shirt tomorrow and they argue over that as well. Brent finally relents and lets Hank wear the shirt.
We're back with Oscar and Emma, and Emma notices that the house if more full of junk now than it was when Oscar went all crazy buying up everything for Y2K. Oscar is convinced that it could still happen and talks about how it's not going to cost money, it's going to make money. Oscar wants her to measure his height and she assures him that even if it's snug, she'll just stuff him into his coffin. Oscar tells Emma that he's building her one too and she doesn't want it because it would just be too creepy. They snip at each other and Emma claims she doesn't want one because she's worried it would fall apart like the birdhouse, with Oscar telling her that she wouldn't be moving around in it so it'd be just fine. Heh. Good old Oscar with the logic.
Lacey comes into Corner Gas with an armload of fliers and great big smile and she's trying to sell some more people on her idea for the pilates class. She wants to put one of the fliers in Brent's window and Wanda doesn't want to let her, asking why she has quotation marks around the word Free. Lacey wanted to quote the Free to emphasize it but Wanda explains that instead it looks like she's trying to pull some sort of fast one and it ends with Wanda defending Mark Twain's mustache in a random twist in conversation that it Corner Gas in a nutshell.
The next day at The Ruby, Lacey hands out some "Free" passes to her Pilates class to Karen and Davis and Karen asks how much it usually costs since the free is in quotations. Davis is just excited that it's free and then asks what Pilates actually is. Karen continues to rip apart Lacey's skills at making fliers, criticizing everything from the wording to the choice of fonts. Davis thinks he needs to unify his mind and body which weirds Karen out and drives her off to the car. Lacey explains a little more about Pilates to Davis and it leads to a hilarious exchange of dialogue that will be the centerpiece of this week's Dog River Speaks segment.
Oscar is proudly showing off the craftmanship of his casket to Emma, telling her that he can't wait to have people see him in it. She agrees with him and asks if he's coming to the bake sale and he tells her that it's prime coffin time and he's not giving that up for anything. She figures that if he doesn't come he loses his right to complain about the quality of the Rice Krispie squares, which sends Oscar off into a tizzy about not wanting to eat "Rice Krispie rectangles". He waits until Emma's gone and then tries out the coffin to see how it feels. He closes his eyes and dreams about Brent, Emma and Hank standing around his casket admiring the work he's put into it and how much better they'll enjoy the funeral since Oscar isn't in a cheap casket. You can tell it's his dream because Emma realizes that every argument they ever had was her fault and that Oscar was always right. Brent agrees that Oscar was always right as does Hank, who reinforces that Emma and Brent were always wrong. Oscar dreams the lid closing down on the casket and it freaks him out enough to decide to stop the work and head out to help Emma pick Rice Krispie squares instead.
Outside the grocery store Hank is waiting for Brent and demands to know why Brent is wearing the shirt on day that was clearly a Hank day. Brent apologizes and says that he forgot to do laundry but Hank doesn't think that's enough. He says that Brent is now using his shirt powers for evil instead of good by not letting Hank have a shirt day all to himself. Back at Corner Gas Brent asks Wanda if he's been using his shirt powers for evil and Wanda doesn't really care. Wanda asks how Oscar's coffin project is going and Brent says he's worried that it's going to start bumming Oscar out a little bit. Wanda replies with "only the man who is prepared for death can truly be alive". Leave it to Wanda to get all philosophical on poor Brent.
Out at the Dog River Community Center, Lacey is set to start teaching her first Pilates class and sadly for her, the only person that took her up on her offer to attend the class. Lacey heads to the Dog River Hotel after the class and Brent asks her how it went. She says that it didn't go very well and she can't understand why the town was so hostile to the idea of her Pilates class. Brent tells her of a macrame class that ended up being picketed by the townspeople for being a waste of string. She tells him that only Davis showed up and she tells Brent that she thinks that he liked it a lot. We cut to Davis sitting in the squad car with Karen and she clocks a speeder at 120 and Davis says that he's going to let him go. Karen wants to know why and Davis tells her that he can't move and that he just wants to sit still for a while. I don't think Davis liked it as much as Lacey thinks he did.
Brent tries to ask Lacey about Pilates again and she starts in on the "unifying body and spirit" thing but he means what do you physically do during Pilates. She explains that you just sit on a mat and hold various positions to exercise your muscles. Brent thinks that that sounds a lot like mat class, the class that Wanda has been teaching for years. Paul, the bartender talks about how he takes Wanda's mat class and that Wanda is pissed at her for starting a rival Pilates class. Lacey realizes now why Wanda was so upset and figures that it would be a good time to apologize to her.
Over at the Leroy house Oscar's up late, sitting on the stairs, creeped out to all hell looking at his coffin. The next day he's calling for Emma that he finished her bookshelf. It turns out that he turned the bottom portion of the casket into a bookshelf. Heh. She puts a few books on top of of the top shelf and slowly but surely the whole thing falls apart. She gives Oscar "the look" and he just tells her to shut up. At The Ruby, Karen is explaining to Lacey how to properly make a flier and Lacey looks quite confused by the whole thing.
Hank shows up and seems a little cold to everyone, especially Brent. Hank's upset that he's wearing "the shirt" and Brent tells him that he might just decide to wear the shirt every day from now on. Brent warns him that he's drinking coffee and that if Hank orders coffee they'd be drinking the same drink and people might think that they're on the same team or something. Hank feels like he's being mocked and claims that Brent shouldn't even be allowed to wear the shirt. Karen asks if it's really a good enough shirt to destroy their friendship and they both agree it is. Hank talks about how comfortable it is, the style that it has, and how it has extra class because the buttons are on the left, when with most shirts the buttons are on the right. Karen asks if they know what it means when a shirt has buttons on the left, and Brent figures that it means that it's European. Unfortunately he's wrong, and Karen tells him that when the buttons are on the left, it's a woman's shirt. Her and Lacey both start giggling before Lacey tells them that they're wearing nice blouses. We cut to outside the station with Brent wearing his regular work shirt and Hank wearing a different shirt as well, using his version of "the shirt" to clean the oil off of the dipstick of his truck.
Hank and Brent are sitting outside the station and Hank asks if Brent still has shirt powers. Brent claims he does and says that it only works on t-shirts. Lacey and Wanda walk by with Lacey still trying to apologize for starting a rival Pilates class. Wanda is still steamed and Lacey tries to patch things up by asking if she can join Wanda's mat class. Wanda tells her it's full and Lacey wonders if she means full or "full". Wanda assures her it's full and storms off into the station to end the episode.
Dog River Speaks
There's only two exchanges in this edition of Dog River Speaks, and they're both real doozies.
Lacey and Davis discussing the Pilates class...
Davis: So, what's Pilates?
Lacey: Well, ok. It's an exercise program. Pilates, the guy that started it, lived to be like ninety years old and he was in amazing shape his whole life.
Davis: Yeah, but he did kill Jesus.
Lacey: What?
Davis: Pontius Pilates, the guy from The Bible
Lacey: Oh no, that's a different guy.
Davis: Oh geez, that's good. I mean, I don't go to church every Sunday, but that would be weird
Lacey: Yeah.
Davis: I mean, designing an exercise routine after the guy who sentenced Jesus to death. Wouldn't sit well with me.
Lacey: Ok, well I'm going to have to....
Lacey gets up from her seat at the booth with a stunned look on her face and walks away.
Hank confronts Brent about wearing "the shirt" on one of Hank's shirt days...
Hank: Look, this is easy for you, you have shirt powers. But you're forgetting that with great shirt powers comes great shirt responsibilities.
Brent chuckles at Hank's anger...
Hank: You just used your shirt powers for evil Brent. I mean look at us, we're identical.
Brent: We're not identical, I have different pants than you.
Hank: I don't even want to get into your pants.
Brent: You're not gonna with that kind of whining.
Most Valuable Gasser
This week's Most Valuable Gasser is definitely Hank. It was great to see his comedic timing throughout the episode and his constant arguing with Brent over "the shirt" was probably the funniest part of this episode. As an added bonus, we got to see Hank without his hat on for the first time in the series when he was at the funeral in Oscar's dream, so that alone is worthy of winning the award. He also managed to make me laugh more than anyone else in the episode so he's the most fitting choice. Congratulations Hank, now put your hat back on, you look too damn weird without it.
That does it for another edition of Tales From Dog River everyone. Be sure to join me again next week when I'll be looking at the fourth episode of the series "Oh Baby". Wanda has to head into town to get a tooth fixed and needs someone to babysit her adorable little son. Brent ends up roped into the job and before you know it he's in WAY over his head. Another episode that's on my personal favorite list and one that I can't wait to review. I'll look forward to seeing you all then and remember that Dog River might be 40 kilometers from nowhere and way beyond normal, but the people of Dog River, and fans like me, sure seem to like it that way.
The 411: Well, it wasn't the best episode of the show, but much like pizza, there's no such thing as a completely terrible episode of Corner Gas. It might be a bit of a hangover from the excellentness of the previous episode, but this one seems to fall a little flat. There are plenty of quality exchanges and one-liners, but the story seems to fall a little flat for my tastes.
