McGuffin Review The Tudors Episode IV

Posted by Cory Johnson on 04.20.2008

A picture of Anne Boleyn! An insane joust that must be seen, and check out why nobody puts Margaret in the corner. All this and the worst sex you can imagine...in the best episode of the Tudors so far.

The Tudors Episode IV-written by Michael Hirst, Directed by Steve Shill


Anne and Henry from http://thetudors.vox.com/

Previously on the Tudors….Henry met and was instantly taken by the charms of Anne Boleyn, signed a treaty with King Charles of Spain against France, and arranged for his sister Margaret to marry the King of Portugal. Charles Brandon was chosen to take Margaret to Portugal. Mr. Pace was thrown into the Tower of London by Cardinal Wolsey for spying for the French.

Henry sends his sister off to Portugal and tells her that she must love the King. In the clenches of a hug, Margaret reminds Henry that after he dies, she is free to marry whom she chooses. Charles Brandon promises Henry that he will take care of her as if she were his own sister. Henry offers a prayer for their journey.

Thomas More tells Henry that the Pope has appointed him Defender of the Faith. Moore also says that Luther has responded to Henry’s tract, calling him a strumpet throwing a tantrum. Strumpet must be a huge insult as Henry goes into a rage, saying that Luther should be burned and storming out. Great job by More, waiting for Henry to command him to tell him what Luther said rather than offering it freely (and then having to bear the brunt of Henry‘s rage in the kill the messenger scenario).

Margaret does not approve of the crew Brandon has chosen for their voyage to Portugal, calling them pirates. She’s such an nagging bitch. Her whole purpose in life is tormenting Brandon at this point.

Henry, flanked by his nobles, meets Katherine in a church. Wolsey and Anne Boleyn are also there. As Henry escorts Katherine, he steals a glimpse of Anne, who just bats her eyes. Thomas Tallis, has to make an appearance of course, conducting the choir. Henry can’t stop looking over at Anne.

“Lady Anne” is ushered into Henry’s room, causing him to jump to his feet in excitement or panic. But it is not Anne Boleyn, just another Anne with a letter and the jewels that Henry gave the real Anne. In letter, Anne says that she is unworthy of the jewels as she is nothing. She tells him that she is leaving for Hever Castle and will think of him. Henry looks like he has been stabbed as Anne looks beyond bored riding away in her carriage.

In the Tower of London (your history Wiki of the week), a guard tells Mr. Pace that he is free to go. Mr. Pace has gone insane, talking about his ‘wife’ who turns out to be a invisible.

Wolsey considers Mr. Cromwell for Henry’s new secretary. Wolsey tells Henry that it is time to support the Emperor financially for the war with France. Henry is distracted, looking out the window. Wolsey tries to get Henry’s attention with taxes, warships, France, and finally Princess Marguerrite with her “sweet and yielding disposition.” An annoyed Henry tells Wolsey to set it up.

At sea, Margaret cannot sleep due to the rough seas and loud sailors. She has a peephole in her room and watches Brandon playing cards. Uh-oh, this cannot end well.

At dinner, Wolsey present Princess Marguerrite, who regrets that her husband could not join her. Henry says that she must be compensated. Henry smiles at Wolsey as he escorts her out. Tomas Boleyn tells Lord Norfolk that Wolsey has been enriching himself at Henry’s expense to fund his college at Oxford. When Wolsey shuts down a monastery and strips them of their assets, he makes the profits disappear. Lord Norfolk wants to go to Henry immediately, but Boleyn says that now is not the time to discredit Wolsey, but that time is coming. More arrives and Henry gets up to hug him. Henry offers him a place at court, but More refuses, saying that he needs to be with his family. The other nobles kid More privately, saying that the King loves him most of all, and More replies that if Henry thought that his head would win him a castle in Spain….Henry would cut it off.

Henry approaches Mr. Wyatt and compliments his poetry. Henry asks him privately if he loved Anne Boleyn and if they were engaged. Wyatt says that every man must love a beauty like hers and that he did love her…from a distance, as he was married. Henry snarls in his ear to enjoy the feast. Two ladies approach Thomas Tallis and compliment his music. They offer to take him back to their room. Frickin’ rock stars, even the ugly ones get the girls. Tallis wants to finish his song. Gayest thing I’ve ever seen. William Compton shares a strange look with Tallis. He looked at Tallis like he was a girl. Henry tells his nobles that Margueritte is King Francis’ sister while eating grapes with a devil’s grin.

Two guards sit outside Henry’s chambers listening to Henry making Margueritte scream. It’s good to be the King.

Margaret watches Brandon undress through her peephole.

A envoy tells Henry that Charles has won a great victory over the French and captured King Francis himself. Henry is overjoyed.

On the jousting field, Henry rides out to have Katherine attach her colors to his lance. It is pure ice and formality between these two. Wolsey notes to More how popular the Queen is with the people. William Compton is going to face Henry. Katherine asks the Spanish ambassador to take a private letter to King Charles for her. Henry shatters two lances on William’s shield. Again, it is impossible to tell how much earnest effort William is putting into this.

Anne reads Henry’s letter to her brother. I think she is mocking him, but her brother is definitely mocking him. Henry has given Anne a cross necklace.

William carries an entire tree trunk as a lance. That’s awesome. He makes Henry and the crowd laugh at this ridiculous freaking tree he’s carrying. Anthony is up against Henry next. Henry forgets to put his visor down, and the crowd screams at them to hold the match. Henry takes a lance RIGHT IN THE FACE! Henry is limp and hauled off his horse as the entire crowd, Wolsey, the Queen, and Tom Boleyn rush to his aide. A bloody Henry screams that he is ok. Henry gets up smiling saying that he is ok and then promptly collapses. Anthony helps him up and asks if he can forgive him. Henry says that it was all his fault and that nobody can hurt him. He tells Anthony to try it again. Katherine tries to talk him out of it, but Henry says that he needs to prove to the crowd that the king is ok. Anthony looks like a walking dead man as he arms himself. Henry tells the crowd that he is unharmed to thunderous applause. Henry is wobbly as he rides towards Anthony , who lowers his lance and positively EATS Henry’s lance, falling to the group in a heap as William calls for a physician. Henry rushes over to check on him.

Brandon arrives in Margaret’s cabin, and she invites him to play cards. They have a playful exchange of heated, dismissive banter. You know where this is going to lead. Brandon teases Margaret about the King of Portugal’s age and virility. Margaret orders her ladies out, so they do not have to hear the vulgar Brandon. She tells him to leave but they kiss tenderly instead. As the storm at sea rages, Brandon finally has Margaret as he wants her.

Wolsey introduces Mr. Cromwell to Henry, but Henry spots Anne Boleyn and asks to see her privately. The Queen was waiting for Henry with their daughter Mary. Katherine stares daggers at Anne and asks Henry why Wolsey opens her letters. Henry turns bitter towards Katherine when he notices Anne talking intimately with a man (actually her brother). A very bruised and sore Anthony is summoned and knighted by Henry. William is next, and Anthony is kinda upset, as he nearly lost an eye for the same honor. Henry says that Anthony never carried a tree as they both laugh. Beautiful, just beautiful, you have to see the scene to appreciate this one.

At a secret meeting of Lutherans, they decry the Pope and Catholic church-Cromwell is there. This could be very bad for his future.

Henry finds Anne, grabs her by the throat, and asks her who she was talking with earlier. Anne sneers at him and tells him that was her brother. Anne owns him. Henry begins to kiss her and Anne suddenly breaks away when she hears William laughing in the distance.

Margaret’s ship arrives in Portugal. Brandon laments that this is her new kingdom. Margaret wants to hate him, but she cannot. Margaret asks Brandon what she should do.

Brandon presents Margaret to the King, an old, wrinkled, red-headed ginger of a man who is barely able to walk. Margaret whispers save me. The King talks about the many children they will make and Margaret faints into Brandon‘s arms.

Anne dances with the rest of court as Henry and Katherine watch. Henry cannot take his eyes off her-he’s not even being subtle about it now. Katherine notices and keeps trying to look at Henry who is only watching Anne. To be fair, Anne is absolutely dominating the room.

Charles gives Margaret away at her wedding. Margaret looks like she will throw up at any moment. Brandon looks uncomfortable as well. The king however, looks thrilled.

Henry writes a letter professing his obsession to Anne, begging her to meet him. Anne smiles as she reads his letter. Mr. Boleyn tells Anne that Henry is now her servant. It is beyond wrong when he mentions the lure of her flesh. That just ain’t right.

Servants prepare Margaret for the wedding night, while the King drags himself, especially his bad leg, into bed, as a priest blesses their union. The King starts hacking when the priest waves the incense over the couple. Margaret looks like a scared rabbit. The canopy over the bed is closed and some of the saddest, most feeble sounds of sex you will ever hear commence. When it’s over, Margaret confirms that the marriage was consummated and the King is gasping and choking like he is going to die. That was not good for me, either.

Riding with William and Anthony, Henry decides to pole vault a ridiculously wide ditch, using a flag pole. The pole breaks and Henry lands in the water with only his legs sticking up. William and Anthony laugh for a moment, before they realize they Henry is stuck and drowning. Henry is pulled up and spits out mud and water. Great way to catch pneumonia and end the dynasty right there.

Brandon asks the King if he may dance with Margaret. They continue to flirt in their hostile way; Margaret taunts Brandon, saying that he loves her as the dance ends.

The royal physician asks an ill, lifeless Henry if he may bleed him. The physician is nervous, obviously, but does manage to open up Henry’s arm to let the King bleed into a golden tray.

Henry, obviously feeling better screams at Wolsey that he nearly died. Henry worries about ending the dynasty, as he has no male heir and blasts himself for pursuing pleasure. Henry says that God is punishing him for marrying his brother’s wife (Katherine). Henry tells Wolsey that everything has changed. He wants a divorce, and appoints Wolsey to obtain it.

Margaret creeps into the King’s bedroom and STUFFS A PILLOW OVER HIS FACE. Every part of the King’s body that can wiggle does until he finally goes limp as we fade to credits.

Analysis
Everything in this episode was about passion in one form or another, from Henry and Anne, Brandon and Margaret, to jousting and religious views. The jousting scenes were fantastic, even better the ones in the Episode II. Highlighting other members of the supporting cast instead of just the Queen and Wolsey produced a great episode. Margaret especially shined, and I’m not saying that just because she had the featured sex scene this week. Her relationship with Brandon was fun to watch as they have a classic love-hate thing going. Anthony and William also finally got names and a little personality. They haven’t done much with them, making me wonder if they are destined to die or if they will just remain in the shadows. Henry’s raving attempts to prove his courage after he got injured was just perfectly done as was his declaration of his newfound mission statement to Wolsey at the end of the episode. Anne Boleyn is one of the beguiling characters on TV right now, just a perfect dangerous, sexy creature. She has the teasing aspect down, you always want to see more of her. Very little Wolsey in this episode, but his presence still seemed to loom, especially when they showed what remained of Mr. Pace. I always feel like he has something else up his sleeve. They even managed to be funny to balance out all of the heated passion in this episode.

Things I Wonder
How long can they make us wait for Henry to finally get Anne (and GET HER NAKED-SHEESH)?
Who is going to find out that Mr. Cromwell is a Lutheran and how exactly will he die?
Is Tallis gay? I guess that having a gay character is required in every show now, but I suppose that it only fit’s the artist here. He is one swanky looking dude, though.
What is next for Margaret? Is she going to be tried for murder and does this lead to a war with Portugal?
What is Henry going to do to Brandon when he finds out that he has, um, worked his way into royalty?
How can Wolsey possibly secure a divorce for Henry? What happens to the Queen if he does?
Is Anne into Henry at all, or just a puppet of her father?
Confession-I was completely off about More becoming a Lutheran, he’s completely Catholic.

Thanks for reading, comments and feedback welcome and appreciated. I’ll be back next week with The Tudors-Episode V and as many pictures of Anne Boleyn as I can figure out how to cram in here. This is Cory, keep watching.

The 411: A great episode that allowed some different characters to take center stage. Margaret finally became a fleshed out (no pun, really) person. We also got just a little closer to finally getting to see Henry and amazing Anne together. This along with some awesome jousting scenes and good comedy make this one of the elite Tudors episodes so far.

Final Score:  8.2   [ Very Good ]