The McGuffin Review: Tudors Season 1 - Episode V Review

Posted by Cory Johnson on 04.28.2008

Apparently offering someone the position of "Official Mistress" is not as flattering as it sounds. Also, did someone say screencaps?

The Tudors Episode V

Previously on the Tudors.....Henry nearly dies in a jousting match, making it all the more clear that he must produce an heir to the throne. Henry’s ally, King Charles of Spain captured the King of France-Frances. Henry’s sister Margaret was forced to marry the elderly King of Portugal (whom she smothered not long after). Henry grew more and more determined to have Anne Boleyn and produce an heir, prompting his need for a annulment from Queen Catherine.


Whitehall Palace-London
Thomas Boleyn is given the title of Lord Rochford. Henry’s bastard child, Henry Fitzroy, who is now old enough to walk, is presented to the king and given the title Duke of Richmond and Somerset, as well as Earl of Nottingham (watch out for the sheriff there, I’ve heard things….). Queen Catherine watches behind the palace curtains as Fitzroy sits on Henry’s throne.

Wolsey is attacked (verbally) by the Queen upon arriving to her chambers, wondering if Henry’s bastard child is now next in line for succession, ahead of her daughter Mary. Wolsey confirms this. Catherine accuses Wolsey of being behind all of this. Wolsey informs Catherine that her nephew, King Charles has married another princess instead of waiting for Mary, and suggests that it may be due to the massive dowry. Wolsey was sniveling and completely arrogant at the same time, it’s nearly impossible not to like him.

In a letter, Anne Boleyn tells Henry that he frightens her, as she is a commoner and not worthy of him. Anne sends Henry a locket with her painted portrait inside.

Lady Blount says a tearful goodbye to her son Henry Fitzroy, and sends him off to his new house. Great little emotional scene here.

On their bed on the ship, Margaret asks Charles Brandon what they are going to do now. Charles shocks her by asking her to marry him.

Wolsey informs Henry that Margaret is now widowed and Henry seems genuinely sympathetic. Wolsey has set up a court to decide on Henry’s annulment. Henry tells Wolsey menacingly that he is to make sure they come to the correct decision quickly. Wolsey also tells a shocked Henry that King Charles has released King Frances. Henry demands to know the terms of his release, but Wolsey doesn’t know. Henry wants to know why he wasn’t consulted and wonders if Charles is playing a new game.

Henry gallops to Anne’s castle, rushes up the stairs to her, and grabs her in a passionate kiss when she tries to bow before him. Henry offers her the position of his official mistress and swears that he will be loyal only to her. Anne looks wounded and asks Henry what she has done that he treats her like this. Henry looks confused with that “uh-oh, what did I do?” look. Anne says that she has given her maidenhead to her future husband, and only he will have it. Anne says that her sister is called the great prostitute and she will not go down that path. Henry apologizes if he offended her and heads downstairs. Anne calls after him, but Henry just walks out, past Thomas Boleyn who shoots Anne a look of “little girl, you best not have screwed this up.” Nice work, I still don’t know if Anne is into Henry or playing her father’s game.



Catherine chases Mary in the garden when she spots Wolsey sliding out of the bushes. Wolsey says that Mary is going to be given equal titles and established as Henry Fitzroy was. Mary is being sent to the north of the England with her tutors and household. Catherine says that Wolsey is trying to take her daughter away from her. Wolsey says that he is often accused of things he is not responsible for, and that he only does as Henry commands. Catherine does not believe him and calls him her enemy. Wolsey calls her unfair, but leaves as she ordered him. Catherine runs towards Mary in the empty garden. The garden was a fantastic backdrop to this scene, full of life and sound and then empty and barren.

Henry yells at Mendoza, Charles envoy, saying that Charles has broken his promises to Henry. Mendoza says that Henry only delivered half of the promised gold, and Henry screams that he is honorable and will defend himself against accusations while ordering Mendoza out. Mendoza offers Thomas Boleyn a bribe to spy for the Spanish. Boleyn says that he will consider it.

William listens to Thomas Tallis play the organ. I have a feeling that the organ is going to be a poor entendre soon. William flatters Tallis’ talent and then leaves.

George rips a letter from Henry from Anne hands and reads in a mocking, big brother tone. George teases Anne mercilessly as she begs for the letter. Anne looks away when George comments that she is not in love with Henry.

Thomas More challenges Wolsey on the sanity of Henry’s annulment. More, ever the righteous theologian gets on Wolsey’s nerves by presenting, you know, the facts. Namely that Henry got a dispensation from the Pope to marry Catherine in the first place and they have had children together, not to mention Catherine’s popularity. Thomas asks if Catherine knows yet. Wolsey sighs.

Catherine is in church for Good Friday services. Catherine passes out alms and the people are genuinely touched that the Queen herself is there, helping them. Catherine looks like the embodiment of grace. Cromwell was watching her from the crowd.

William descends through the depths of London to a pub, and meets Brandon. Williams asks why they meet here and Brandon confesses that he married Margaret. Brandon is now officially road kill. Williams laughs until Brandon asks him to tell Henry. Williams tells him that he was thinking with the wrong head.

Henry visits Catherine and tells her that their marriage is over. He lays out the annulment theory. Catherine tries to remain composed, but her face cannot hide her breaking heart. Henry leaves and Catherine falls wailing to the floor.

Wolsey opens the inquiry about Henry’s marriage. Lord Fisher says that Henry seeks a divorce, since he has no case for annulment. Divorce was practically one of the deadly sins at this time.

Catherine is informed that the ladies are here to take Mary away. Catherine tells Mary that she is the only daughter of the King of England and one day she will be Queen. Catherine turns to her fireplace as the room darkens around her.

Henry asks William if Brandon is sorry, if he begs his forgiveness. When William says not exactly, Henry asks for Margaret. She is officially screwed. Henry notes that Margaret is not wearing black, as her husband is dead. Henry says that he never would have given her permission to marry Brandon. Henry screams at Margaret that he is her lord and master, not her brother and she cannot look at him. Henry banishes Margaret and Brandon from court. Henry tells her that he has not decided if he will make Brandon a head shorter. Wow, that is cold.

Williams tells Tallis to say yes. I guess that was the gay version of putting your foot under a bathroom stall in those days. Tallis says that he is married and he does not love him. I KNEW IT. William says that he is beautiful and they kiss. Great…

Anne sends Henry a small golden ship with a woman on board and a diamond hanging off the bow. Henry gets severely metaphorical about this, saying that he is the ship, and her heart is steadfast like the diamond. Henry believes that Anne has conceded to him.

Wolsey tells Henry that Francis is ready for a new truce. Wolsey says that King Charles has friends at his court and implicates the Queen. I think that Wolsey is covering his bases here in case he cannot get the annulment.

Henry, galloping of course, rides to Anne. In the throes of foreplay, Anne promises that when they are married, she will deliver him a son. Henry spreads her legs and kisses her passionately and then stops, saying that he will not take her until they are married, as he can do no less for her love. Anne melts and calls Henry her love, over and over.





Margaret is on a tear, throwing things at Brandon’s head, screaming that he promised that everything would be ok. Margaret says she hates him and is clearly drunk. Brandon says that Henry will forgive them; they just need to wait until his pride has time to heal. Margaret slaps him during the sex that had to follow.

During dinner with More, Henry says that he knows that he does not approve and he will explain. Henry believes that he has been living in sin, living with his brother’s wife. More treads carefully, asking what if the matter can proved in Katherine’s favor, what will Henry do? Henry lies, saying that would make him the happiest man on Earth, and he will live with Catherine the rest of his life. Brilliant politicking by Henry, trying to win over the man of virtue.

Catherine is tended by her servants, including Anne Boleyn. Catherine stops Anne from leaving, but then turns away and all the serving girls leave.



Wolsey is running into nothing but resistance at the inquiry. This is not going well. Wolsey snaps when told that this matter should be in the Pope’s hands, not his, and he leaves.

Tallis composes in bed while William sleeps.

Henry makes Wolsey squirm when he asks how soon he can expect his annulment. Wolsey spins that this matter should be presented to the Pope, as he will be favorable to Henry. Henry replies that he hopes so, for Wolsey’s sake.

Henry dances with Anne (sounds like a Kevin Costner porno gone wrong), while Catherine watches. Thomas Boleyn and Norfolk remark that the smartest thing the French ever did was give Wolsey a pension, but his time is coming. The dance is interrupted by a courier announcing that Rome has been captured and plundered by the mercenaries of Germany and Spain. The Pope is now a prisoner, essentially of King Charles. Henry glares at Catherine as he leaves.

Lady Blount arrives to be told that her son, Henry Fitzroy died of the sweating sickness (your history wiki of the week). She sobs over his body.

Henry cries over his son’s small crown as we fade to the credits.

Analysis
They are doing an incredible job painting Henry as both a hero and anti-hero. The duality between the way that he treats the Queen and Anne is amazing to watch. It is hard not to root for Henry and Anne, but it is impossible to root against such a sympathetic character as Catherine, as really the only thing she has ever done is love Henry. This also demonstrates the quality cast they have assembled and the raw emotion they bring to these scenes.

Convincing grief is hard to display, but Lady Blount did a great job watching her son leave and again at his death. The child playing Henry Fitzroy was also very talented, as it is hard to play children that aren’t completely annoying.

Wolsey was perfect, reserved and indignant, while still being slimy and underhanded in everything he does. You simply cannot discern the truth or his motives, which is exactly what makes him fascinating to watch.

Tomas More is the great counter-balance to all of the morally ambiguous Henry and Wolsey, and his right wing vision of clear right and wrong will be interesting to watch as the series unfolds.

Things I Wonder
Is Henry going to have to kill Catherine to get Anne the way he wants her?
How is Wolsey going to convince the Pope to grant an annulment?
Will Wolsey survive if he can’t?
Will we ever see Lady Blount again?
What happens when Henry finds out that William is gay? I wonder what the punishment was for being caught?
Does Brandon loose his head or, um, his other head?
Does Anne love Henry or is she just playing a role to please her father?




Thanks for reading, questions, comments, and feedback always appreciated. I'll be back next week with Episode VI. This is Cory, keep watching.

The 411: This is one of those episodes that evelates the whole series; it made me feel like I was in the middle of something special. Just quality everywhere in this episode, from the acting to the sets. They have spun the Henry and Anne storyline into an amazing tease of a love story. Highly recommended series that has been worth the time so far.

Final Score:  8.4   [ Very Good ]