Going Down to South Park 05.15.08: Conjoined Fetus Lady

Posted by Jerome Cusson on 05.15.2008

There appears to be something on Nurse Gollum's face.

And now for something completely different.

I figured since this show is so Monty Pythonesque like anyway in the early years, it would be a nice transition. After last week’s mixed bag, we move onto something very different. This time we get a little different social commentary thrown our way, and the kids become a very successful sports team.

We begin with Chef having everyone play dodge ball, that traditional physical education wonder. Pip doesn’t quite know how to play and Kyle explains the rules. We see Butters, not yet named at this point. Kyle and Stan’s team are losing men fast. Chef is enjoying this too much. Kyle catches the ball and hands Pip the ball to throw. After taking some crap for the last time, Pip throws the ball and breaks Kyle’s nose. Off to the nurse’s office. The rumor going around is this lady is pretty deformed and apparently eats children.

Nurse Gollum walks in and seems nice enough. Kyle won’t open his eyes. After being convinced to open them, he sees what appears to be a little baby attached to the nurse’s face. Well, that’s unexpected. She explains it as a disorder whereby she has a dead fetus on her face or conjoined twin myslexia. The boys pick on the nurse a little but until Mrs. Broflovski walks in and chastises the boys for making fun of someone with a disease. Yes, it’s going to be one of those episodes where Ms. Broflovski takes up a cause and ultimately learns something in the end. The positive for the boys is they’ll miss most of the fun since they’ll be playing for the world championship of dodgeball thanks to their new star, Pip. Chef will become a little too obsessed with winning, and it’ll be one big happy mess until the ending.

For right now, Ms. Broflovski decides that she wants to bring attention to this very sensitive issue of conjoined fetus myslexia. See, the nurse is half of a Siamese twin. She further mortifies the children by saying there could be a dead twin inside of them. She tries to get her husband interested, but he’s not having any of it. Stan’s mom calls to yell at her for telling her son about the disease.

The next day, Chef announces they’ll be playing in some sort of dodgeball state finals. The kids even have jerseys and everything. None of the kids, much like little league years later, really want to play. Stan and Kyle wonder how they advanced this far without winning anything. At least someone asked, saved me the trouble. Mrs. B is in the principal’s office and is asked what’s pissing her off. Funny stuff. The good news she isn’t actually pissed, but wants to start a movement. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know about what. It’s time to bring the disease to light and pity her instead of making fun of her. That’s clearly the right way to go about doing things. Principal Victoria pretends not to notice anything. A dinner party is arranged for all to attend, and Mackey of all people gets a good joke in about having to east kosher.

Chef tries to motivate his team on the way to Denver, but the team doesn’t seem very enthusiastic. He then gets into an argument with Ms. Crabtree about how best to get to Denver. It’s time for the state finals. No one wanted to play Denver, so they had to find some sap mountain school to play them. Luckily South Park was there for them. Little do they know about the secret weapon known as Pip. He carries them to victory to win a state title. The clowns are sent in to take an injured child away while Chef sings some trash talk to the other coach.

At the dinner, Nurse Gollum feels awkward about how this thing will shake out. Mr. Broflovski asking for a dead fetus and continually screwing up by mentioning it was just plain funny. Nurse Gollum is satisfied with her condition, but the principal and Ms. B forget about that and just decide to have an entire week dedicated to the disease. The mayor gives an opening speech and then introduces a parade. A whopping one person is there… Nurse Gollum. The nurse thinks she should be going with the kids.

Chef and the boys move onto Washington D.C. as the kids discuss what kind of food they each have. Chef is really becoming obsessed with this whole winning thing. South Park is then declared the winners by forfeit since the D.C. team didn’t bother to show up. Why? Cause they’re scared of playing the Chinese because they are known to kill many of their opponents.

It’s time for an honorary dinner for Nurse Gollum. She looks increasingly displeased with all this stuff carrying on like this. The short film does nothing to discourage this. She is also given an award for lifetime achievement. The trophy even has a little fetus on it. Chef is now really obsessed with winning, even though there is the distinct possibility of death. And how the hell are they able to take a school bus to China? I can stretch logic to where they take a bus from Colorado to D.C. But no way they can take a bus from Colorado to China. There’s kind of an ocean between them. I should also point out that Kenny is wearing the number 69. Now that’s funny. Chef’s logic for making fun of the Chinese is also pretty great here too.

They arrive in China and the announcers openly make fun of them for being Americans. We’ve got even more brilliant stuff from them too. This episode is much funnier then I remember. Team South Park gets off to a really bad start. Kenny is even killed by one of the balls. Nice callback to the football game when one of the announcers yells at another for getting them in trouble. Pip is left alone and takes matters into his own hands by single-handedly dismantling Team China and becoming the world champion. Chef even learns his lesson and makes it clear he doesn’t want them to bother winning.

Myslexia hats are now being given out, and it is now time for Nurse Gollum to give a speech. She thankfully yells at the whole town for being damn stupid and acting a fool. Calling them freaks was a nice moment too. She says she doesn’t wanted to be treated as special, just ridiculed like everyone else.

We end with Cartman saying he loves Kyle and Stan…then saying screw them. A fine ending.

The “Screw You Guys, I’m going home” for best line/moment of the episode: The Chinese
Announcers are very funny.

The Pip moment for worst line/moment of the episode: You cannot take a school bus ride from Colorado to China.

The “Oh My God, they killed Kenny!” moment: Kenny is killed by Team China.

The 411: This was slighty funnier than last week. The stuff with Pip and being such a great dodgeball was an excellent idea and led to a lot of great moments. Even the stuff with Nurse Gollum worked for the most part. Her indignation at what all was going on worked out nicely for this episode and was a nice play on how we treat people who are physically deformed.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]