Tales From Dog River 05.10.08: Corner Gas - Episode Twelve
Posted by Randy Harrison on 05.10.2008
Hockey fever hits Dog River as the new season begins in the penultimate episode of the first season, "Face Off"...
Welcome to another installment of your favorite weekly review of the greatest Canadian export since Celine Dion, Corner Gas. One of my all-time favorite episodes is on tap this week, so there'll be no messing around, it's straight to the review! Today's episode is "Face Off", with Brent and the Dog River hockey team preparing for a new season. They haven't won a game, don't have a coach and Brent in goal is their best player, but the optimism is still high. That is, until the star player from their rival team comes to woo Brent away. Will Brent be swayed into "sleeping with the enemy"? Can the Riverdogs finally manage to win a game? Can Oscar and Emma's car survive until the end of the episode? Once we get through the plugs, we'll all be able to find out, so to the plugs!!
And for those of you who may be new fans of the show, new fans of the review, or might just need a refresher course on all things Dog River, be sure to check out the debut edition of Tales From Dog River to learn everything you need to know about the town and all of the quirky folk that call it home.
Episode Twelve: Face Off (Originally aired on April 21, 2004)
We start out with Brent outside Corner Gas at the pumps when Hank shoots a rock at him. They start playing road hockey in front of the pumps to practice up for the new hockey season until a car comes in for gas. Brent forgets that he's supposed to pump gas (again), and we're off to the opening credits.
Brent heads into the station and Wanda's got a megaphone because she's getting ready to call the action for the hockey game. Over at the Ruby, Hank orders a chocolate milk to go because he's bulking up for hockey season and him and Lacey end up arguing over what a Bruin is. Hank thinks she's kidding when she says it's a bear, because he thinks that the Boston Bears makes no sense. Brent comes in and they start talking hockey and how Brent lets in a ton of goals because the team in front of him sucks. Ronnie Raymore comes in and pays Brent an actual compliment about how good he is in net. The only problem being that Ronnie plays for the Stonewood Saints, arch-rival of the Dog River Riverdogs. Ronnie's come to recruit Brent to play for the Saints this year instead of for the Riverdogs. Brent says that he's a Dog through to the core, until Ronnie offers an unlimited bar tab.
Oscar and Emma pull into the station and the car is obviously on its last legs, but Oscar won't let it go. Oscar gives it a good whack on the dashboard and it ends up stopping. Back at the Ruby, Ronnie is still trying to woo Brent with promises of free boots for his car and top of the line goalie equipment. Oscar and Emma head into the station and Oscar freaks out that Brent isn't watching the pumps, while Emma thinks that maybe Brent should have a look at the car. Of course, Oscar thinks there's nothing wrong with it. Brent declines Ronnie's offer just as Hank comes in and Hank gets all cranky about it before Ronnie leaves, saying that if he played for the Saints he wouldn't have to worry about Ronnie scoring on him every game. Brent flashes back to every time Ronnie scored on him, even once standing playing goal in just his underwear. Ronnie says that he was speaking metaphorically and the boys tell him to take a hike.
Oscar is under the hood and banging on something with a hammer while he's reading the Howler when Davis and Karen come by. Oscar figures that as long as he has the hood up, Emma can't see him, though she walks right by him, mockingly calling him a super spy. Davis tells Oscar about how Brent almost ended up with the Saints and in true Oscar fashion he wonders how they'd like it if they went to Stonewood and burned down their rink. Brent shows up at the Ruby and the team is having a meeting, reviewing Brent's compensation package, which consists of coupons, a card with two more stamps to a free sandwich and a roll of police tape. Hank presents it to him as a "signing bonus" and then says that they need to formulate a plan. Brent admits that it would be tempting to play for the Saints since Ronnie's the only guy that scores on him and Lacey sticks up for Brent, calling him a hell of a goalie. Lacey starts talking about some strategy and Hank and Davis seem to be confused and a little threatened. Brent thinks that they should end up getting a coach since they still don't have one and Lacey volunteers. To say they seem less than enthused is an understatement.
Back at the Leroy house, Emma asks if Oscar fixed the car and he says that he did and gives her a line of BS about all the parts and an air pocket in the flex inhibitor. Out on Main Street, Lacey catches up with Hank and Brent and asks again about being the coach and Hank tells her that the guys aren't too keen on it. Lacey asks Brent what the problem is and apparently they don't want her to coach because she's a woman. She asks if she's going to get arrested for wearing pants and Brent says no and that they're only frightened and confused at how different it would be for a woman to coach them. He says to ease them into it while Lacey offers up the story of the frog and boiling water. Brent figures he'll skip the soup tomorrow. Oscar and Emma are ready to head out to the game and they've got all their supplies ready to roll. Emma threatens him if the car doesn't start, but it does and they're off to the rink.
At the arena, the Riverdogs are in their dressing room getting fired up for the big game, with Hank and Davis doing most of the talking, while Brent goes into a bit of a fit about how much he hates getting deked by Ronnie. Hank worries that Wanda is going to play the "Who let the dogs out?" song again, but Brent assures him that he made her choose a different song. It turns out she's got dogs barking "Jingle Bells" instead. Oscar and Emma pull up to the rink, ready to cheer but they can't get out of the car because the electric lock is jammed. Emma threatens him again and Oscar looks a little freaked out. I would be too if I was him. The game starts and Brent is the only thing keeping them in the game, making save after save. Lacey helps one of the boys get onto the bench and says that she'll be the door-person.
The Saints finally score, with Ronnie rubbing it in. Oscar and Emma are still outside in the car when Karen shows up. She thinks that they're making out and offers to leave before Emma tells her that they're stuck. Karen offers to smash the window in but they both yell at her not to and to go find something to jimmy the lock. Oscar says that he didn't think of suffocating until Emma mentioned it and Emma brings up that the car is barely raintight, let alone airtight. In the dressing room between the second and third periods, Hank and Davis are firing up the team, while Lacey tries to throw out a couple of strategy tidbits. The Saints are still pressuring while Lacey has decided to move in behind the bench to be the coach. Karen comes back to tell them that she couldn't find anything to jimmy the lock and Emma tells her to open the hood because there might be something wrong with the flex inhibitor.
Lacey calls timeout late in the game and the crowd cheers because they finally have a coach. Lacey gives them a strategy to try to run with to score the tying goal. Outside, Karen is looking under the hood and notices that one of the cables on the battery is loose, asking if that was what Oscar was hitting with the hammer. Emma is understandably pissed. Back in the arena, the Riverdogs pull off Lacey's strategy to perfection, actually scoring the tying goal with a few seconds left in the game. Lacey beams about how much better they could play with a little guidance and all that and they tell her to be quick. The game begins again and Ronnie ends up on a breakaway right at the end of the game, but Brent makes a great save to preserve the tie!! They celebrate like they just won the Stanley Cup and they make fun of Ronnie for not beating them this year. The headline on the Dog River Howler; "Riverdogs Almost Win!!". Priceless.
We're back with a SportsCenter interview with one of the anchors and Brent, with Brent talking about how happy they are with the tie, when the anchor tells him that he's been called up by the Vancouver Canucks, which prompts Brent to realize it's a dream. The anchor asks if he still wants to do this and Brent agrees, with one small change. He turns the male anchor into the female co-anchor, but the only problem is that the voice is still the male voice. CREEEPY!!! The credits roll and that's it for another episode of Corner Gas!
Dog River Speaks
Wanda's less than impressed with the Riverdogs...
Wanda: Early in the second period, it's all Saints so far. Dogs are playing like my grandma, only less physical.
Brent compliments Wanda's announcing skills...
Brent: I love the way you call games. What is it you call a goal again?
Wanda: Twine-tickler!
Brent: Offsides?
Wanda: Premature!
Brent: Somebody elbows somebody in the mouth?
Wanda: Bender in the beer hole!
Brent: I make a great save?
Wanda: That's never come up!
After Brent ends up in his underwear in the flashback...
Ronnie: I was speaking metaphorically.
Hank: Why don't you speak leave-aphorically?
Brent: Scram-aphorically.
Hank: Piss-off-aphorically.
Ronnie: What are you guys, like seven?
Hank and Brent (in mocking voices): What are you guys, like seven?
Emma notices the car troubles...
Oscar pulls up to the pumps but the car won't stop sputtering and shaking
Emma: Did you turn it off?
Oscar: Yes, I turned it off.
Emma: I think it's having a seizure.
Oscar: It's fine. The carb is sucking on the fuel pump for a bit, that's all.
Emma: I feel like we should shoot it.
Oscar: I'll remember that the next time you start coughing.
Emma: If I ever make sounds like this, I'll welcome the bullet.
Emma's had enough of the car troubles...
Emma: If we get in this car, and it doesn't start, I swear by all that is holy, I will throttle you with an extension cord.
Oscar: Deal. But if it does start, you have to shut up about it.
Emma: Done.
(Oscar starts the car, succesfully)
Emma: You're my hero, now let's go.
Oscar: Oh, that's right. It's almost... shut up o'clock.
Most Valuable Gasser
The Most Valuable Gassers this week are the entire team of the Dog River Riverdogs. They perservered and managed to finally not lose a game, not to mention that the entire episode was based around the team. Brent, Hank, and Davis were all great when it came to the on-ice action, as well as the quips and one-liners off the ice. Oscar was nearly the winner for his few moments of brilliance while trying to fix the car, but one never knows when the Riverdogs could almost win another game, so for this episode, the Dog River Riverdogs are your MVG's.
That wraps it up for another edition of Tales From Dog River, and be sure to come back next week for the first season's final episode, "I Love Lacey". Brent and Lacey hit a snafu on the way to the Grey Cup in Regina, and realize that there may be more to their relationship than meets the eye. Of course, everyone else is trying to get to the game too, and they run into just as many problems. Be sure to stop in next Saturday to check it out and remember, that Dog River might be 40 kilometers from nowhere and way beyond normal, but the people of Dog River, and fans like me, sure seem to like it that way.
The 411: One of the best episodes of the first season, and probably the one that is front to back filled with the most laughs for me. I might be a little biased because of the hockey storyline, but this one has me rolling from beginning to end, from the trials and tribulations of the Riverdogs, to the trials and tribulations of Oscar and his ailing car. Great writing, great acting, Corner Gas at its finest.
