The 411 True Blood Review: Episode 1 - 'Strange Love'

Posted by Marilyn Yang on 09.12.2008

HBO's newest drama from the creator of Six Feet Under is here!

The series begins with a teen couple barreling down a road. The girl gets "bored" and proceeds to give her (I assume) boyfriend a handjob. The boyfriend then interrupts his girlfriend, and tells her to pull over to a convenience store. The convenience store sells synthetic blood, and the young couple is curious about vampires and the synthetic blood made for them known as "Tru Blood." They make a point of saying that it's made in Japan. Creepy convenience store clerk scares the young couple by pretending to be a vampire. The other patron of the store, a stereotypical hunter-type, reveals he is a real vampire, and if convenience store guy pretends to be a vampire again, he's dead. Begin opening credits.

Tara Thornton works at a store similar to Wal-Mart. She gets into a tiff with an overweight white woman, slaps her boss, and quits her job. She stops by local restaurant/bar Merlotte's to get a margarita. Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) is a waitress at Merlotte's. Sookie is waiting on a couple, Mack and Denise Rattray. Sookie can read thoughts, which is unfortunate since telepathy reveals Mack would rather Sookie "ride" or "suck" than "serve" him anything. His wife Denise seems like a bitch. Apparently there's a cook named Lafayette who talks dirty, is gay, and deeply offends Sookie by talking about pussy. Cut to a couple hooking up while watching... Blind Date? Um, okay. I don't think their names are mentioned, so I will refer to them as "Naked Couple," which is composed of Naked Woman and Naked Man. Naked Woman has a bite on the inside of her leg, and she admits to having sex with a vampire once, but it was too rough. Naked Man gets ready to leave, but Naked Woman entices him to stay by offering to show him the videotape of her having vampire sex. Cut back to Merlotte's, where Tara says her life sucks, and a vampire comes in. Crazy camera trickery ensues, and it conveniently gets dark around Vampire. Somehow, no one can tell he's a vampire (yet), but I would think his overall pastiness would be a dead giveaway. No pun intended. Mack and Denise strike up a conversation with Vampire. Cut back to Naked Couple.

Naked Man is watching the vampire sex tape, and it's weird. The vampire in the video makes eye contact with the camera and has what looks like focal seizures. Naked Man notices a hook hanging from the ceiling, presumably the same one Naked Woman is hanging from in the tape. Ominous. Denise talks about how she's been discriminated against her whole life. Sookie reads Denise's mind, and learns the couple is going to drain Vampire of his blood for money. She runs off to save him. Back to Naked Couple, who are now going at it like rabbits in the position similar to what was on the vampire sex tape. It's dirty. It's rough. Naked Man gets more evil than kinky, and starts to choke Naked Woman. It's videotaped. Back to Sookie... who finds Vampire held captive and being bled out by Mack and Denise. Sookie saves Vampire by slinging a big chain around Mack's neck (which seems pretty stupid), and waving a knife around at Denise. Sookie and Vamp have a conversation. Vampire points out that his blood supposedly makes humans feel good and gives a sexual boost of sorts. Vamp gets a little creepy by pointing out that vampires are known to turn on people who trust them. Sookie learns that vampires are vulnerable to silver. She also learns that Vampire's name is Bill. Sookie teases Bill a little about it. Surprisingly, Bill doesn't get really pissed. He did almost die, you know. Tara gets a job at Merlotte's to keep an eye on Sookie for Sam. Sookie's brother Jason walks in (lo and behold, he is Naked Man.) He tries to pick up waitress Dawn, fails, and chases after her. He blows off Tara. We forget why he was trying to find his sister in the first place.

Sookie goes home (she apparently lives with her grandmother), goes to bed, has a dream about Bill--but not the cool kind, the kind where he is about to suck her blood. The next morning she's out getting some sun, rehashes the past evening's events to her brother Jason. (Jason reveals that Mack and Denise Rattray also sell weed, and Mack had to go to the hospital.) The family learns Maudette (formerly known as Naked Woman) was found strangled to death in her apartment. A murder in Bon Temps, Louisiana! Jason suspects Bill. A conversation ensues about "fangbangers" and people who get paid to let vampires bite them. Sookie suspects Jason knows more than he's letting on, and tries to read his mind. He stops her. Jason is at work, and some police officers approach him. He leaves with the officers. Cut to Sookie at home. Grandma wants Bill to talk about the Civil War, because he must have been alive back then. Grandma does not seem bothered by the fact that her daughter has met a vampire, or that her son knows an awful lot about fangbangers. Cut to Sookie at work, and she learns that everyone except her knows that Jason was taken away by the cops. Bill comes back to Merlotte's. Another sequence of camera trickery ensues. (We can hear Tara's thoughts of how Sookie's walking towards Bill like it's her wedding day.) Bill and Sookie have a short conversation. Sookie asks Bill to meet her out back after work. She needs to ask Bill a favor for Grandma. (Remember, the Civil War thing.) The entire bar is staring at them. Bill leaves. Sam yells at Sookie. Tara yells at Sookie. Sookie reads Sam's mind (he wants and loves her). Sookie reads Tara's mind (she can't believe Jason could be a murderer, she obviously has feelings for Jason.) Sookie yells back, runs off. She waits for Bill out back, then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of her. We don't see her assailants' faces, but it's a good bet that it's Mack and Denise. The End.

Favorite quote:
Where are we going to hide a dead vampire in our trailer?

A few things that piss me off:
-Starting off the series with a girl giving a handjob because she is "bored?" Whatever happened to listening to the radio?
-They don't explain where Sookie's telepathy comes from. I know it's only the pilot episode, but they also don't really explain why no one cares that Sookie can read minds. (Jason and Tara obviously know she can.) Early in the episode, Sookie says something that reveals she read a patron's mind (the kid that can't wait to leave Bon Temps), and no one freaks out. In fact, I think every time I suspected someone knew Sookie could read minds (particularly in Mack's and Denise's case), they just called her retarded instead.
-Also recall the part where Sookie can't believe everyone knows about Jason's trouble with the law except her. And she actually yells, "I'm not psychic!" Okay.
Then what is she?
-I'm not satisfied with how Sookie fought off Mack and Denise.
-The special camera effects between Bill and Sookie need to stop. I get it, there's some sort of cosmic connection between them, but it's annoying. And, a little confusing. Like the scene after Sookie rescues Bill, and he swiftly moves in closer to her. There's some camera work there that makes it look like Bill has a bit of super speed. In which case, you'd think Bill wouldn't get caught as easily by Mack and Denise. Or, it's an unnecessary effect that had to be used because Sookie and Bill had a scene together all to themselves.

One random fact:
Jennifer Hasty is shown in the beginning of the episode (the one who's thinking about what she did in the bedroom the night before). She was in an episode of Bones, which stars David Boreanaz, who was the vampire Angel in the series of the same name. Thank you, IMDb.

The 411: Pretty solid debut despite the issues I explained above.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]