The 411 True Blood Review: Episode 3 - 'Mine'
Posted by Marilyn Yang on 09.22.2008
We see more of Tara's home life, Lafayette has many jobs, Sam actually has multiple lines this week, Sookie is in trouble (again), and Jason gets in trouble after sex (again).
The three vampires at Bill's house try to glamour Sookie and get her to come in. She tells them that glamouring doesn't work on her. Bill tells them to let Sookie come in. There's a guy on the couch, and a woman on another couch who looks pretty cracked out. Bill is being creepy sitting in a dark corner. Sookie is surrounded by the three vampires. Malcolm is the one with the long hair and red shirt. (Hey, he was a DEA agent on Weeds!) Diane (obviously, the female vampire) thinks Sookie is a virgin. Sookie calls her a nosy bitch. The three vampires talk about how virgin blood is the best tasting blood. No, actually baby's blood is the best tasting blood. Diane (the lady vampire) gets ready to feed on Sookie, and Bill finally gets off his ass and says, "Sookie is mine." Open credits.
Malcolm brings Jerry (guy on the couch) with him where ever he goes. Cracked out woman on the couch starts to give bald tattooed vampire a blow job. (His name is Liam. He's the same vampire from Maudette's sex tape.) Malcolm offers Jerry to Bill, and Bill is about to feed when Sookie reads Jerry's mind and learns he has Hepatitis D, or Hep D for short. Jerry pins Sookie to a table and starts choking her, and we see his thoughts. Jerry's boyfriend Marcus got hooked on vampire blood, and Jerry thinks the vampires are responsible for Marcus's death. Liam gets his rocks off with the cracked out looking woman. I didn't need to see that at all. Sookie is still recovering from being strangled. Bill tells her that Hep D is the only blood-borne pathogen to which vampires are susceptible. Hep D is harmless to humans, but makes vampires weak for a month or so. It can make vampires vulnerable to capture and being staked. (Remember, vampires don't like their weaknesses to be known. There was that whole silver chain business from the pilot.) Bill explains that he had to claim Sookie was his to keep the other vampires from trying to feed on her. Bill had sex with Diane once after she became a vampire in the 1930's. Sookie is grossed out, because Diane is evil. Bill explains that when vampires live in a nest, they are more cruel and vicious. Vampires who live alone (like Bill) are more likely to hold on to a piece of their humanity. Sookie gives Bill the info for two electricians that come out at night. Bill asks if he can kiss Sookie goodnight. She says no. Can I just say, Bill has no game. It took him quite a while to get Sookie out of a sticky situation. Diane was ready to go to town on her neck. He didn't even get out of his damn chair to see who was at the damn door. Jerry just tried to kill her, creepy Liam has the worst O face ever, and Diane is just being an annoying bitch. Oh, and the last time Bill kissed Sookie, his extra pointy teeth came out. Also, Sookie did see Bill almost take a bite out of Jerry. Naturally, Bill is in a great position to try to get a kiss out of her. And Sookie's "rescue" this week pales in comparison to Bill throwing the Rattrays into trees last week.
Merlotte's is closing. Dawn leaves. Tara doesn't want to go home. Tara and Sam discuss how serious Sookie and Bill are. Tara calls Sam out for being in love with Sookie. Sam calls Tara out for being in love with Jason. Tara says Jason is fine the way he is, which is unattainable. (Which I find funny, because Maudette and Dawn attained Jason quite easily.) Sam tells Tara that Sookie can't hear Bill's thoughts. Well, now it makes much more sense. Tara thinks Sam doesn't have a chance with Sookie now.
Dawn comes home expecting to find Jason still tied up. Instead she's grabbed by a masked man who wants her blood. He says he already drained Jason. They struggle, and we find out that the masked man (who I think is wearing pantyhose on his head and one of Dawn's robes) is actually Jason. Dawn's mad at first, but then they laugh it off. My hatred for Jason grows with each episode. My roommate thinks Jason might have redeeming qualities, but I'm inclined to disagree.
Sookie drives home, and Bill scares the crap out of her. He wanted to make sure she got home safely. Sookie doesn't understand why she can't hear Bill's thoughts. Turns out Bill has no brain waves, electrical impulses, or need to breathe. He claims to be kept alive by magic. Bill says everyone is kept alive by magic. Sookie decides they should stop seeing each other. She's tired of being almost killed. Bill points out Sookie can't find a human man she can be herself with. Sookie goes inside and sends Bill away.
Sam and Tara are on Sam's porch. Tara doesn't want to go home because her mom is an alcoholic. Tara's mom thinks she doesn't need AA because she has religion. Tara's guilt about not wanting to go home makes her feel worse. Tara asks if Sam is lonely. Yes, he is. She asks why Sam doesn't have a girlfriend. He says he has a hard time opening up to people. Tara and Sam each haven't had sex in a long time. Sam goes to get more booze. Tara goes inside, suggesting they become friends with benefits, a one time deal. Sam declines. He changes his mind and agrees after Tara makes it clear she doesn't care if things get weird and she ends up losing her job.
Jason and Dawn are going at it again, but suddenly Jason sees creepy vampire Liam instead of Dawn. He loses his erection. (Dawn, doesn't your head hurt from all the bouncing around?) Jason doesn't like that Dawn fools around with vampires. Dawn said vampire guy was the greatest sex she had. Dawn says she met the vampire at a bar in Shreveport. Jason asks if he was bald. She says he had a lot of hair. Dawn and Jason fight. Dawn tries to kick Jason out. He won't leave. She pulls a gun on him while he starts flossing his teeth in bed. She fires a few shots. Dawn says Jason is obnoxious and dumb as a box of hair. She fires a few more shots. Jason leaves, screaming that he can get it up, and Dawn's a bitch. Dawn's neighbor comes out. She looks like that actress who used to be Lady Luck in lottery commercials. I don't understand why Jason didn't take off the ladies' gloves that he had on from when he was pretending to be a vampire.
Sookie sneaks up to Bill on accident. She reveals she's never had sex before, and wants to get it out of the way so she can get a good night's sleep. They start to get it on. Oh oops, Sookie is just fantasizing, and she's touching herself in bed. But she stops when she sees the cat staring at her.
Sam and Tara are in bed, and Sam barks in his sleep.
Jason goes back to his apartment and starts drinking a beer. There's a vampire movie on TV. The son of the reverend guy who was killed last week is on TV. There's a documentary on vampire bats. Jason turns off the TV.
Cut to Diane, Liam, and Malcolm. They consider raiding a frat house, since they don't have Jerry any more. Bill's at the door. (Did anyone see that someone is hanging upside down in the doorway?) Diane makes a pass at Bill. Bill throws her into a wall. Bill tells them to leave him and Sookie alone. They talk about elders and higher authorities. Malcolm is Bill's elder. Malcolm is not afraid of Eric, some higher authority. Bill says there are authorities higher than him. Diane says "she" (I'm guessing Nan Flanigan of the American Vampire League) "can suck on sunlight." And not all vampires necessarily want to be out in the open, act like they are regular humans, and live off of synthetic blood. Malcolm points out some vampires like killing people. Cracked out woman from earlier (I think her name is Janella) is the person hanging upside down. Her blood is being drained from her body. Liam says she is making the ultimate sacrifice.
Sam wakes up alone with no Tara in sight. Tara tries to sneak inside her house, and her drunk mom hits her with a bible. They yell at each other a lot. Tara calls her mom a pathetic, ugly, old bitch. Mom swings her bible at Tara, stumbles to the ground, and starts crying. Tara tries to help her up, and Mom whacks her in the head with a liquor bottle. Tara walks out on her.
Sookie is mowing the lawn. Grandma tries to get her inside. Sookie's been up since before sunrise. Grandma asks if she's scared of the vampires. Sookie isn't sure whether she should trust her heart or her head when it comes to Bill. She goes inside with Grandma, who is basically forcing her to eat something. We see that recurring dog that checks up on Sookie periodically.
Tara goes to Lafayette's. His recommendation for the cut on her head is two Vicodin, weed, and a glass of red wine. Lafayette has company, a man fake-named Duke Smith, a middle-aged bald guy who tries to talk in code to Lafayette. Actually, "Duke" is a state senator. Lafayette is turning tricks and has some sort of website now. Tara comments they are both fucked up. Lafayette's solution is to smoke a joint.
Cut to Sam, hanging out with the recurring dog. He curses the Starbucks coming to Marthaville. Sam tells the dog he wishes Buffy or Blade would come to Marthaville and take care of Bill.
Sookie and Grandma are in the kitchen. They discuss Starbucks for a bit. Sookie asks Grandma if she should keep seeing Bill. Sookie says Bill scares her. Grandma says opening your heart to anyone is scary. Sookie isn't scared that he'd hurt her, she's scared that she can't read his mind. Grandma points out that that shouldn't be such a bad thing. She says Sookie's grandfather Earl used to know personal things about people that no one else knew. Earl's brother Francis came back from the Korean war, and Earl talked him out of suicide. God reveals the purpose of everything when the time is right. Sookie remembers Francis did kill himself, but with a shotgun. Grandma says he did, but it was years later.
Jason is banging on Lafayette's door. Jason needs Viagra. Lafayette doesn't have any. He says Viagra is legal, and you can buy it at the drugstore. (FYI, this is not true.) But Lafayette does have V (vampire blood), and it's $600 for a quarter-ounce. Lafayette wants this to be kept secret, because vampires hate blood dealers (or "juice dispensers" as he calls it.) Lafayette warns Jason not to take too much blood at once. Jason can't pay Lafayette quite yet. Jason has to dance in his underwear in front of a video camera. He agrees to do it with a mask on. Tara sees him through some beaded curtains. WTF, she asks. WTF, indeed.
Sookie is standing on Bill's porch. She looks inside, and no one's home. She takes a seat on the steps, and starts touching herself. Her phone rings. It's Sam, asking Sookie to stop by Dawn's because she's probably overslept for work. Sookie goes to Dawn's house and knocks on the door a few times. She lets herself in. Dawn's alarm is going off, and Dawn is still in bed. Dawn is dead. Sookie screams. End credits.
Favorite quote:
"Believe it or not Jason, the world does not revolve around your dick."
The 411: I liked this week's episode, but not as much as "The First Taste." I like that there is more character development in Tara, Sam, and Lafayette. I even like recurring dog that keeps popping up in every episode. I am seriously getting tired of seeing Jason have sex (three out of three episodes.) I have a hard time sympathizing with a character who can't be entirely sure if he's killed someone or not, pretends to attack his sort-of girlfriend as a joke, and still feels he has the right to decide who his sister should date. I'm starting to feel like the episodes are getting a little formulaic too (even for just three episodes.) Sookie gets in trouble, and Bill saves her. Jason gets in trouble, and the resolution is saved for the next episode. Grandma offers some bit of wisdom. Etc, etc. But I digress, I know it's just the beginning.
