The 411 True Blood Review: Episode 4 - 'Escape from Dragon House'

Posted by Marilyn Yang on 09.29.2008

Sookie and Bill go out on a non-date, we meet the oldest vampire in Bon Temps, Jason downgrades from non-stop sex to non-stop masturbating, and Marilyn writes her shortest review ever.

Sookie is screaming for help after she sees Dawn is dead in bed. Jason walks in behind her and drops a glass after seeing Dawn is dead. He has flowers in hand. Dawn's neighbor comes in too, asking Jason what he's done because she heard them fighting (all the way back in the last episode.) Nosy Neighbor decides she's going to call the police. Jason says he had nothing to do with this, and sits outside. He looks worried. Open credits. (This is the least interesting cold open ever.)

The neighbors are gathered outside of Dawn's house speculating about what's happened. Sookie is answering questions from the sheriff. She reads everyone's mind briefly. The coroner thinks Dawn has great boobs, the detective wishes people would call him detective and give him some respsect,. Andy (the detective) and Sheriff Bud write things in their notebooks. (The door was unlocked, so "Killer had key?" is written in the notebook. Andy writes, "Bitch -> gunshot" in his.) Jason is manhandled and put in a police car, then realizes he still has that vial of vampire blood that he got from Lafayette, so he downs the whole thing, even though he was warned in the last episode not to have more than a drop or so at a time. Sam shows up to comfort Sookie. Sam has the key to Dawn's storage because he's her landlord. The coroner and some kid insensitively carry Dawn out in a body bag.

Bud and Andy question Jason back at the station. It's a painful round of questioning, but basically Jason is asked if he kills and has sex with women first, or vice versa. Jason starts looking shifty and uncomfortable and dashes to the bathroom. He has a huge erection and tries to relieve the pressure so to speak, but gets a little loud in the process. Andy and Bud wonder what's going on. Jason tries to fix his situation. Tara rolls into the police department pointing out that Jason hasn't been charged with anything, and shouldn't be questioned because he wasn't properly Mirandized. She lies for Jason and says that he was with her last night, and she tells Bud and Andy that Jason wouldn't say so because she asked him not to. Tara and Jason leave the station.

Cut to Sookie and Gran in the kitchen. Gran knows about Jason's situation, and knows he's not a murderer. She tells Sookie to use her telepathic abilities to listen out for something. Sookie reluctantly agrees.

Sookie is working at Merlotte's. She listens to tons of thoughts from patrons. Tara comes in a little late. She tells Sam that he can't let anyone know they slept together because Tara's lying for Jason. She and Jason will go to jail if Sam lets out with the truth. Sam doesn't approve, which is no surprise since he doesn't approve of anything anyone does.

Jason is beating off to a video tape. Great, we go from watching Jason have sex every week to watching him masturbate multiple times in one episode. He actually develops a blister from trying to make his never-ending boner go away. Everyone's thoughts are something along the lines of missing Dawn for her boobs or ass, but one patron seems to have genuinely thought of her as more than a piece of meat. He thinks Dawn's voice was probably a combination of angels and parakeets. Sookie rewards him with a peck on the cheek for not being a perv. In the kitchen, Jason starts yelling at Lafayette for the vampire blood that is giving him the endless erection. Jason says his grandfather had gout, and just the weight of a sheet hurt like hell. Jason compares this hypersensitivity to his penis's current state. He says my favorite quote. Bill comes into Merlotte's. He asks for a bottle of O negative from Arlene (the redheaded waitress.) Merlotte's is out of O negative, but they have A negative. Actually, it turns out this is a lie, and they have both blood types. Sookie tells Arlene she'll give him the blood, and they talk outside. She tells Bill about Dawn's murder, and he agrees to take Sookie to a vampire bar, so she can try to listen to any thoughts that might lead to the murderer. Sookie stresses it's not a date. Sookie asks Sam for the rest of the night off so she can snoop around. Sam doesn't approve; they argue a little. Sookie says she's going, and Sam can't stop her anyway.

Sookie and Bill are in the car. Bill says Sookie looks like vampire bait. They're going to a vampire bar called Fantasia. Bill's promised Gran that Sookie wouldn't be hurt tonight. (Gran seems okay with anything.)

Tara walks in on Jason in the freezer. He's covering his erection with a steak. Tara finds out Lafayette is dealing V (vampire blood.) She insists Jason has to go see a doctor.

Sookie and Bill walk into the vampire bar. Sookie acts like a dumbass and is overly cordial to the bitchy hostess. She gets carded at the door. Apparently she's 25. There's a remix of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" in the background. Sookie keeps telling people she meets that it's nice to meet them, and they don't care. The bartender's name is Longshadow. She asks if he recognizes the pictures of Dawn and Maudette. He recognizes them but won't say who they hung out with. Longshadow holds up the picture of Maudette and says she wanted to die, but everyone who comes into the bar wants to die. Meaningful and awkward looks are exchanged. Bill and Sookie take a seat. A bald fangbanger tries to approach Eric (the oldest vampire in the bar), and is rejected with a kick across the room. The vampires go nuts over the smell of his blood, and one of the lady vamps takes the bald fangbanger away.

Cut to Jason at the doctor's office with a strategically placed sheet. The doctor questions Jason, who lies about taking V. The doctor says Jason's erection looks like an eggplant. He has to drain the blood out of his penis. Tara tries to leave. Jason asks her to stay with him. He gets poked with the needle and screams bloody murder (no puns intended.)

At Merlotte's, Arlene asks Sam to walk her to her car. Sam pockets some latex gloves for some reason.... and then we see a picture of Dawn and Sam being chummy.

Back at the vampire bar Sookie is reading minds, and everyone's thinking about sex sex sex. The bitchy hostess says something to Really Old Eric, and Sookie and Bill are summoned by him. Eric and Bitchy Hostess have an exchange in some other language. He says that if Sookie has questions about his customers, to ask him. She does. Maudette was too pathetic for Eric, but he did taste Dawn. The hostess didn't have either of them. Eric asks Bill about Sookie. He does the whole, "She is mine," thing again. Sookie reads a patron's mind, she finds out a guy in a hat is an undercover cop, and has a vision of a vampire feeding on bald fangbanger. The cops raid the place at that moment, and Eric, bitchy hostess, Sookie, and Bill make a run for it. Sookie conveniently doesn't have to tell Eric or Bitchy hostess about her telepathy. Bill picks up Sookie and uses vampire speed to flee.

Tara is driving Jason home. He's asleep. There's a flashback of Jason and Tara as little kids. Young Jason lets Tara inside the Stackhouse home and protects her from her abusive alcoholic mom. It's actually a pretty sweet moment, and the only moment so far in the series where Jason hasn't been a total douche. This does not make up for seeing Jason trying to rub one out constantly in this episode.

Bill and Sookie are in the car. Bill is listening to music in Cambodian. Sookie asks Bill to pull over so she can have some quiet time, and right before a good makeout moment, a squad car pulls up behind them. The officer asks if they were at Fantasia, and Sookie lies and says they weren't. The officer shines a light on Sookies neck. Bill's extra pointy teeth come out. He glamours the cop into giving him his gun, and learns that it's loaded. Sookie is freaked out. Bill tells the officer not to pull people over for suspicion of being a vampire. He keeps the gun. The cop pees on himself.

Cut to Sam with the latex gloves on. He takes down the crime scene tape and goes inside Dawn's house. He sniffs the sheets (aw, gross.) Where's recurring dog this week? Sam starts sniffing and rolling around in Dawn's bed. End credits.

Favorite quote:
"I got gout of the dick."

The 411: "Escape from Dragon House" is the name of an album by the band Dengue Fever, which combines Cambodian lyrics and rock. That explains Bill's choice of music in the car. This is my least favorite episode of True Blood so far, because it seemed to run at a slower pace than any other episode. There is a lack of Grandma, which at least avoids the predictable moment where she says something deep and meaningful to Sookie, but I think Grandma is pretty cool. Again, I'm sick of Jason and his penis's shenanigans, but the flashback sequence does explain why Tara loves Jason despite the fact that he's a shallow horndog with unbelievably bad judgment. The insight on Jason and Tara's relationship is a plus, but there's not much new about anyone else. It's no surprise Maudette and Dawn frequented the vampire bar, Bill had to save Sookie yet again (when they flee the raid at Fantasia), Detective Andy and Sheriff Bud continued to be depicted as dimwits, and Eric the Oldest Vampire Ever was already mentioned in a previous episode. The most noteable things in "Escape from Dragon House" are Tara has some legal knowledge (outsmarting Andy and Bud), and Sam had a closer relationship to Dawn than we expected. Sam sniffing and rolling around Dawn's sheets at the end of the episode was tame in comparison to the end of every other episode so far. His behavior isn't that big a surprise since he barked in his sleep last episode. Maybe a little shady, but not that big a surprise if you think about it. I noticed this episode clocked in at about 50 minutes this week, and previous episodes have been a lot closer to the one-hour mark. Overall, I'm hoping this "Escape from Dragon House" is meant to set up a much more action-filled episode next week.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]