G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review

Posted by Steve Gustafson on 08.08.2009

Knowing may be half the battle, but does this movie lose the war?

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje: Heavy Duty
Christopher Eccleston: McCullen / Destro
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: The Doctor / Rex
Karolina Kurkova: Courtney A. Kreiger / Cover Girl
Byung-hun Lee: Storm Shadow
Sienna Miller: Ana / Baroness
Rachel Nichols: Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara
Kevin J. O'Connor: Dr. Mindbender
Ray Park: Snake Eyes
Dennis Quaid" General Hawk
Saïd Taghmaoui: Breaker
Channing Tatum: Duke
Arnold Vosloo: Zartan
Marlon Wayans: Ripcord

Directed by: Stephen Sommers

Written by: Stuart Beattie (screenplay), David Elliot (screenplay), & Paul Lovett (screenplay), Michael Gordon (story) (as Michael B. Gordon), Stuart Beattie, (story), & Stephen Sommers (story).

Running time: 118 Minutes



Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.

*****This review contains minor spoilers and plot points.*****

Before we began I need you to take a deep breathe. Hold it. Now let it out. We need to clear something up. As a member of Generation X, I'm asking everyone to just let it go. Let go of those feelings of pain from the attack against our childhood. Let go of the anger of having our favorite toys pillaged to supply Hollywood with the newest blockbuster. Let go of those deluded memories that our childhood contained perfect cartoons, comic books, and action figures. Because, guess what? They weren't perfect. When it comes to G.I. Joe we've always dreamed of a live action movie but what were we expecting? Did we want it to remain true to the cartoon? The comic book? Were we looking for a mature, grown up film that debated the idea of war? Over the years we've clung to the idea that what we grew up with is untouchable. We've placed our memories on a pedestal, crossed our arms, and grimaced if anyone tried to tell us otherwise. In a sense, we've become a generation who has all the cool toys but doesn't want to share them. Let’s end this.

Now, on with the review...

Perhaps no other movie in recent history has drawn such harsh criticism and hate than G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Even the latest Transformers had its share of supporters. The internet was set ablaze in shock and disgust off of several trailers and the movie itself was dismissed before it even came out. But now that it has opened, what’s the verdict? Does it deserve the scorn or have we misjudged? As a fan of the cartoon series and a serious lover of the comic book series, I’ve run the gauntlet of emotions when it comes to the live action movie. I did my best to go into the theater with an open mind and a softened heart. When I walked out of the theater my first thought was, “If this movie came out in 1987 it would be considered an instant classic! Young lil Steve would have loved this!”

But it's not 1987.

You're going to hear a lot of adjectives describing this movie. Relentless. Loud. Exhilarating. Thrilling. Aggressive. They all fit. See, they throw so much at you that you don’t have time to take in what you’re seeing. That seems to be a trend with movies these days. Hasbro and Paramount Pictures previously collaborated on Transformers franchise and it shows here. The experience I had was comparable to playing a video game while riding a roller coaster in the middle of a three ring circus for 2 hours. Also, like Transformers, G.I. Joe will divide audiences down the middle. You either get it or you don’t. And in the end, Paramount is going to have another successful franchise on their hands.

The film kicks off in typical action-packed sequence, with the All-American soldiers Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans) being attacked while transporting a set of hi-tech military warheads that contain nanomites, microscopic robots that can eat through any material. Duke's former love Ana/Baroness ( Miller) steals the warheads and attempts to kill our heroes, but is thwarted by the guys and gals of G.I.J.O.E. (Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity). Making up the Alpha Team is Breaker (Taghmaoui), Heavy Duty (Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Scarlett (Nichols), Snake Eyes (Park) and General Hawk (Quaid). Duke and Ripcord are recruited, offered spots on the team, and taken to their training facility, "The Pit", where they are trained in combat and weaponry. Seems the Baroness, Storm Shadow (Lee), and McCullen (Eccleston) are intending to use their new weapon of destruction to spread terror and control the world. Duke, Ripcord and the rest of the Joes find themselves racing around the globe to apprehend Cobra’s leaders and stop their plans before the world is taken over. The action zips along as the team races from to find the nanomites, prevent their activation, and bring down Cobra.

Is it a lot to take in? Yes it is. It's overwhelming at times, but director Stephen Sommers, represents a new type of Hollywood filmmaker. Like it or not, this is direction action films are going. But don’t judge G.I. Joe by his previous work, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, or Van Helsing. Sommers keeps the action moving, juggling each effect to maximize a sensory filled experience. I'll be fair; he deserves credit for making a coherent film, keeping the action scenes distinctive. He doesn't stop and take time to explain what's going on because he keeps it simple. If you are looking for a good old fashioned good vs. evil, this movie certainly has that going for it. While the movie teeters on the edge of ridiculousness several times, another director could have easily taken the plunge into laughable territory. The movie stays true to the animated series and has the violence happen in cartoonish style, at the same time balancing humor, drama, and an unwieldy large cast. Credit has to be given to a script that doesn't take itself too seriously and has fun with it. Speaking of fun, I did notice that in the movie, MARS/Cobra attacks the Eiffel Tower which is a nod to the cartoon series. In the first episode of the The M.A.S.S. Device, the first landmark Cobra attacks is the Eiffel tower. Nice touch, if it was done on purpose.

Let’s talk about this cast and this is a HUGE cast. They introduce the roster and while some get more attention than others you wonder if they would have been better served by cutting down on the main characters. They give you enough of a back-story to make you want to know more about each one on-screen and little more. I mentioned that they did a good job balancing everything, but saying that, they touch upon several interesting stories in their own right, but not with any depth. You get flashbacks that are crucial to the movie, like the younger days between Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the Baroness and Duke love story but when you add in The Doctor/Rex connection, a love triangle between Duke, Scarlett, and Ripcord, McCullen's back-story...there is a lot going on! When it comes to the acting, they've pulled in an ensemble of solid performers. Who stands out? Sienna Miller chews each scene up nicely, having a good time as the Baroness and looks good in the tight leather outfits while doing it. Rachel Nichols, who proved herself here, plays a great Scarlett. Keep on eye on her. Ray Park takes Snake-Eyes and runs with it. I have to think that in some studio office they are looking to see if they could make money spinning him off into his own movie. Surprisingly, Wayans provides the comic relief and semi-romantic part, which he does effectively. Some are going to find him lacking, but he fits. Dennis Quaid is mostly onscreen to walk around, bark at his soldiers, and act like the tough old school General. The real test is on Channing Tatum. I was impressed with his performance in Stop-Loss and keep waiting to see more range from him, which he seems to hold back on. It’s not really on display here. He’s got the strong screen presence, but it's going to take a meatier role than this to propel him to the big time. On the side of the Cobra, it's a mixed bag, with Ecclestone's McCullen not given enough to do and Vosloo's Zartan being seriously underused to give any sort of indication what his character is about. Lee's Storm Shadow is pretty cool, I'll give him that. As far as Cobra Commander, this will draw the most ire. I didn’t like his mask. That was obvious. Seems like the hooded one didn’t make the cut and was redesigned as the filmmakers found that version too similar to the Ku Klux Klan masks. Have to love the over-thinking on their part. Joseph Gordon-Levitt does well, with what he gets, and I’m interested to see where they go with him in the sequel.

What bothered me most was for a covert unit that isn’t supposed to be secret they don’t do a very good job keeping it under wraps. Several times in the movie they make a point of telling you they aren't supposed to exist, but everyone knows General Hawk, the President of the United States throws around their name in casual conversation, and they make their appearance known by the massive destruction they leave behind. Also, while the script stays even, the dialogue is the same simple jargon that we've heard before. This is a movie that really let's the action do the talking, leaving us with such lines as, “I’ll never let any man touch you,”, "When all else fails we don't", and “We need to get Ripcord out of there!” While it works, it’s nothing we’ll be quoting years from now. When it comes to CGI, overall it's done well, if a bit uneven, with only the underwater sequence at the end being the most offensive. Speaking of offensive, much was made of uniforms (or lack thereof) and the Delta-6 accelerator suits. Yes, they walk around in black leather, with little to distinguish themselves and the accelerator suits are used to an almost over-the-top effect, the good news is, they were bulky and heavy for the actors to wear and for any planned sequels, their use will be reduced.

So where does that leave us? G.I. Joe is all about the action and it delivers it with wall-to-wall adrenalin charged, pumped up hoot hollering cartoonish abandon. The theater I saw it in was packed with kids and I can tell you without question, they had a blast with this. In a way, I was jealous. Yes, we can sit here and pick it apart for the dialogue and the inane plot. But what does that accomplish? Two groups of people will see this film. The fans of the cartoon/comic book and people who have no clue what any of that was. In the battle between G.I. Joe and Cobra the only thing that matters is the good guy wins. And this movie never forgets that. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra fuels adolescent excitement and imagination as well as the source material that inspired it. There’s a lot to dissect in this movie. But I will say that in wins in one very important point. It keeps the spirit of the cartoon/comic book. No matter how it veers into cheesy, over-done territory, the spirit is alive and that mattered to me. Times have changed my friends. What we call entertaining popcorn flicks have a new definition and we better learn how to keep up or we’ll end up becoming the bitter crowd we used to make fun of when we were growing up. The action and explosions on screen are the new stars, no matter how much we complain about it. This movie might not be great but its fun. And what more can you ask for from G.I. Joe?

The 411: Like I said at the top, I would have loved this when I was a kid. If you liked Transformers, this is right up your alley. But it’s time to stop using a trip down memory lane to judge the new breed of action remakes. G.I. Joe delivers what it’s supposed to: reintroducing the team as a live-action adventure series to a new generation. It’s a fun trip. Who knows? 20 years from now kids might be up in arms that they are turning the live-action G.I. Joe movie they loved so much into a cartoon. And now you know…

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]