The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard Review
Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 08.17.2009
A great cult comedy...
"The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" Review
Jeremy Piven- Don Ready Ving Rhames- Jibby Newsome James Brolin- Ben Selleck David Koechner- Brent Gage Kathryn Hahn- Babs Merrick Ed Helms- Paxton Harding Jordana Spiro- Ivy Selleck Charles Napier- Dick Lewiston Ken Jeong- Teddy Dang Tony Hale- Wade Zooha Rob Riggle- Peter Selleck Alan Thicke- Stu Harding Alan Thicke- Stu Harding Wendie Malick- Tammy Selleck Craig Robinson- DeeJay
Directed by Neal Brennan Screenplay by Andy Stock and Rick Stempson
Distributed by Paramount Vantage
Rated Rfor sexual content, nudity, pervasive language and some drug material Runtime- 90 minutes
Going into "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard," I didn't know what to expect. While I fully understood the kind of comedy likely to be at play (Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, of "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" and "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" fame, are involved as producers) I didn't know how the flick's star, Jeremy Piven, would work out. I've never been a fan of Piven (I've always found him to be kind of a douchebag) and I wasn't sure he could carry a movie like this. I'm happy to say that Piven overcomes his personal douchebag factor and is a bunch of fun to watch. And, hence, so is the movie as a whole.
Piven plays Don Ready, a professional mercenary car dealer that is brought in to a failing dealership in Temecula, California owned by old time car dealer Ben Selleck (James Brolin) for a big Fourth of July sale. Selleck hopes that Ready and his band of fellow professional mercenary car dealers (Jibby Newsome, as played by the Ving Rhames, Brent Gage as played by Champ Kind himself David Koechner, and Babs Merrick, as played by Kathryn Hahn) can save the dealership from closing. See, there's a rival dealer in town, Stu Harding (Alan Thicke), that can't wait for Selleck to fail so he can buy up the Selleck Motors land for cheap and use it for his son Paxton (Ed Helms) and his "man band" Big Ups. Paxton also happens to be the fiancé of Selleck's daughter Ivy (Jordana Spiro), who has a bit of a thing for Ready. So there's a bit of a love triangle thing going on here.
But, the truth is, you're not likely to remember any of that love triangle stuff. No, you're more likely to dig, get into, and remember the rapid skit after skit structure of the movie as the story bounces around to the various characters, never really settling on anyone for all that long. Ben Selleck has a loveless marriage with his wife Tammy (Wendie Mallick) and has a homosexual attraction to Brent Gage. Jibby Newsome is tired of the grind of the road and the lack of a home life and just wants to find a woman he can "make love" to. Babs Merrick tries to use her sexy body to convince people to buy cars (she also has a strange sexual attraction to Ben Selleck's ten year old son Peter, as played by the great Rob Riggle. Peter has a pituitary disorder that makes him look like he's thirty). Paxton is worried that Don Ready will steal his fiancée Ivy and tries to make Don look bad. And that's just for starters. There's even more to the story than that.
Now, would the movie have been better if it had focused on the Ready character and his personal problems? Maybe. As I said above, Piven is capable of carrying a movie with Will Ferrell like comedy in it, He makes Don Ready interesting and fun all the while maintaining his charismatic douchebagness (it's a different kind of douchebagness for Piven. It's a good kind of douchebagness). The movie could have succeeded as simply a Don Ready vehicle. But then the supporting and secondary characters wouldn't have had their little stories and issues to deal with and we would have missed out on all of that (plus, it would have been weird having ten characters that you barely get a chance to know). What would have happened to Dick Lewiston (the great Charles Napier), one of the best characters in the movie, had there been more Don Ready instead? We probably wouldn't have seen Lewiston doing cocaine in his office, and believe me, you want to see that. (I also hope that, on the eventual DVD, there's a short movie special feature based solely on Lewiston's life and his approach to selling cars).
One of the biggest surprises of the movie is the general lack of Ken Jeong, who plays Teddy Dang, the Korean man assaulted in the big "Pearl Harbor" speech seen in the trailers. He's barely in the movie at all. After his big hooha performance in "The Hangover" I'm kind of surprised he wasn't used more. Jeong is quite good in the "bank bag" scene, though.
But who is the biggest surprise in the movie? Napier is a big surprise, sure, because you hardly ever see the voice of Duke Phillips all that much anymore in big, theatrical movies. Ving Rhames gives a fine comic performance, which is something Ving isn't known for (it's a shame he doesn't do more comedy because the guy is funny). The biggest surprise, though, is James Brolin as Ben Selleck. I don't think I've ever seen a guy play gay or silly as aggressively as Brolin and it's hilarious. It's like he's channeling Leslie Nielson in "Airplane!" (I'm mostly talking about the silliness here, as Nielson's Dr. Rumack was not gay). The stuff he does with David Koechner, where he keeps asking Koechner's Gage to have sex will live on in "cult movie quote" contests for years to come (well, pretty much everything Brolin says in the movie will live on). The same goes for Craig Robinson, who plays the big sale DeeJay. His "alligator" line would make for a great T-shirt.
The only real disappointment in the movie is Alan Thicke. He's okay in what we get to see him do, but I think he needs another scene, preferably one where he says something gross and off color (why wouldn't you have the father from "Growing Pains" in your raunchy comedy and say something outrageous? A bit of a missed opportunity there, unless there's something waiting for us on the DVD).
And then there's Will Ferrell. I don't think I'm engaging in any kind of spoiler here in saying that he actually appears in the movie (he's in one of the TV commercials dressed as Abe Lincoln). I won't say how he figures into the plot, but I will say that you'll probably enjoy his second scene more than the first, although his first scene is quite funny.
"The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" is a great time at the movies. It's a fine Will Ferrell like comedy that will make you laugh and put a smile on your face, especially if you're into Will Ferrell comedies to begin with. Just don't be surprised if the movie tanks at the box office and finds its audience on home video and cable. It's got all of the trappings of a cult comedy that movie nerds will have festivals for in about ten years.
See "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard." It's good for a laugh.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous Charles Napier, gratuitous James Brolin, gratuitous Ken Jeong, face punching, exploding bank bag with blue dye, gratuitous Jeremy Piven, a strip club breakfast, gratuitous Ving Rhames, gratuitous Champ Kind, smoking on a plane, a massive airplane party with boob kissing, a ten year old that looks like he's thirty, a funny childhood flashback, gratuitous hotel Bible hooey, ordering pay-per-view porn, gratuitous "Dawson's Creek," gratuitous Arby's product placement, gratuitous James Brolin playing a gay guy, gratuitous Ed Helms, one of the funniest strip club conversations in movie history, butt jiggling, a soon to be classic speech about what happens when you die, a "Pearl Harbor" speech that involves a hate crime, gratuitous Charles Napier doing cocaine, gratuitous fat wife picture, nervous barfing, a talking baby, a hilarious lesbian shower four way speech, gratuitous talk about Eric Bice, gratuitous Alan Thicke, gratuitous Jeremy Piven singing Bob Seeger, a great TV commercial, a massive riot, a flaming tire, attacking an Uncle Sam on stilts with a chainsaw, gratuitous bell ringing, gratuitous Will Ferrell, a purple dildo, multiple sex scenes, singing angels, gratuitous car from "Smokey and the Bandit," and a somewhat happy ending.
Best lines: (These are just the ones I caught. There are plenty more to be sure) "Rock climbing? Why would anyone climb a rock?," "Come on, sweetie, don't be a bitch, let's talk numbers," "I feel like a Smurf just jizzed on my face!," "They made me breast feed some old man," "You motherfucker. Who are you?," "I'm Don Ready, and I've got the goods," "Jesus, it looks like a refugee camp for dirty old men," "It looks like the train station from 'Total Recall'," James Van Der Beek, my nigga!," "Are we talking about pussy?," "Are you in a boy band?," "Oh, that is disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I still have an erection," "Look, I may be old fashioned, but when a man tells me to wear my boner pants I wear my boner pants," "He's talking about freedom you fucking queers!," "Go fuck yourself you baldheaded sonofabitch! I've seen more hair on bacon," "I haven't seen this many people in this lot since I got the Bandit car," "He's talking about karaoke you fucking queers!," "Who the fuck brought alligators?," "Motherfucker, I ring the bell!," "You don't want to know what happened in Querque," "I gotta try to get away from this dildo," "You know, I've never cared much for Jews, queers, or fucking Eskimos, but that was just the way I was brought up," "Hey, if it isn't Do fucking Ready," "They let angels out of heaven to swear at people?," "If he moves that car I'll eat my own pussy," and "You know what, I'm gonna fucking knock you out."
The 411: "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" is a great time at the movies for fans of "Will Ferrell" comedies. It doesn't tread any new ground, but it's hilarious anyway. Great performances all around from just about everyone. It's great to see Charles Napier back on the big screen. The man's a riot. Oh, and if you're not a Will Ferrell fan, knock off about six rating points. You won't like it.
