Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Review

Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 02.21.2012

What a waste.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Review

Nicolas Cage- Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider
Violante Placido- Nadya
Ciaran Hinds- Roarke
Idris Elba- Moreau
Johnny Whitworth- Ray Carrigan
Fergus Riordan- Danny
Christopher Lambert- Methodius

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Screenplay by Scott M. Gimple, Seth Hoffman, and David S. Goyer, based on a story by David S. Goyer

Distributed by Columbia Pictures

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, some disturbing images, and language
Runtime- 95 minutes

Website: http://www.thespiritofvengeance.com/




Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, is, at its best, an incoherent mess, and at its worst a boring, pseudo intellectual alleged art film masquerading as a big budget B-movie. On one level you can sort of appreciate what Neveldine and Taylor are trying to do with both the Ghost Rider character and the whole comic book superhero movie genre as a whole, mainly something different, something we've never seen before. But then, after about forty-five minutes, you realize that the movie isn't going to get any better, that the story being told isn't going to ever make any sense, and that because you have no idea what's going on you aren't going to give a flying hooey about anything that happens to anyone. In short, after about the halfway mark you just want the movie to end. There are some cool things to see, sure, but the crap you have to suffer through in order to see those cool things is just not worth your time or effort.

The flick stars Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze, a former badass stunt motorcycle rider who sold his soul to the devil, and as the Ghost Rider, a vengeance seeking demon with a flaming skull head and a motorcycle with fire wheels. He's hiding out in Eastern Europe, trying to, I guess, escape his life as the Ghost Rider. One day, a mysterious man named Moreau (Idris Elba) tracks Blaze down and asks for his help. Apparently there's a young boy named Danny (Fergus Riordan) that has special powers/the potential for special powers that needs to be protected from the Devil, and the super secret religious sect guarding him is unable to continue protecting him. Moreau wants Blaze to act as Danny's protector, to keep him away from the Devil until a certain point in the future when the Devil can no longer use Danny for whatever the heck he wants to use Danny for. If Blaze is successful, Moreau promises him that he'll find a way to rid him of the Ghost Rider curse. Blaze is somewhat skeptical at first, but he eventually figures that Moreau's deal is a good one and makes an effort to protect Danny.

Okay, so, while all of that is going on, the Devil, in the guise of a rich man named Roarke (Ciaran Hinds), is looking for Danny without much success. Roarke eventually decides to transform his henchman Ray Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth) into a super being that can battle the Ghost Rider, as Roarke knows that the Ghost Rider is really the only thing that can prevent him from taking Danny and using him to do whatever the heck it is he wants to do.

Confused yet? I know I am, and I have a feeling that I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out. I have absolutely no idea why this story is so complicated. I've read Ghost Rider comics, both the comics from the 1990's and the newer ones, and they're not as complicated as this movie. I've also seen plenty of "prophecy" movies, and I know from those movies that the less complicated the prophecy the better the movie (in general). So what the hell is going on here? Why does it seem as though the characters are always talking about the prophecy like I know what the hell they're talking about? I have no idea what any of them are talking about. The prophecy is, essentially, meaningless.




And then there's the Ghost Rider character. Who he takes vengeance on needs to be simplified, or at least less confusing. He takes vengeance on Roarke's henchmen and Carrigan, but he also takes vengeance on Nadya (Violante Placido), Danny's first protector, because...? I have no clue. Because she's violent? Again, I have no clue.

The only thing that "works" in the movie are the big action scenes and some of the special effects. The Ghost Rider CGI head is pretty cool looking, and the way he dispatches the bad guys with his chain is nifty enough. The final action sequence, a big ass car and motorcycle chase, is fun to watch simply as a special effect/bit of spectacle. The way the camera moves around the road, darting in and around moving objects, is dizzying but thrilling (again, simply as a special effect. The build up to it is so damn lame it has no real impact beyond being a special effect). I just wish the story made sense. As for the 3D, some of the fire effects are "3D worthy" and the final chase scene is enhanced by the 3D, but it's obvious that the 3D was used as a scheme to make more money and nothing else. The movie doesn't really need it.

Nicolas Cage is fun to watch at the beginning of the movie, but as the movie progresses his performance becomes less and less interesting. It's almost like he's acting weird for weirdness sake, which would be fine if the movie made any sense, but since it never does Cage is just flailing around. Idris Elba does a pretty okay job as Moreau. You can tell he's trying very hard to make sense of what's going on and get the audience into it, to care about his character and what he's going through, but it all turns out to be a big waste of time. I will say that Elba does get a nifty action scene at the beginning of the movie, where he gets to fly backwards and shoot a machine gun.

Violante Placido is awful as Nadya, Danny's protector. Every second she's on screen is boring as fuck. And, good God, Fergus Riordan is so spectacularly awful as Danny that you just don't give a flying crap what happens to him. You don't really want to see him die, but if the Devil gets him you get the feeling that it won't ruin your day all that much. You just can't have that in the kid that you're supposed to root for. And while it's always cool to see the great Christopher Lambert back on the big screen, his extended cameo as a religious sect kung fu master is just lame as hell. Lambert clearly deserves better than this.

Johnny Whitworth is boring as fuck as Ray Carrigan. He isn't all that scary and he doesn't come off as much of a threat, even when he becomes a supernatural creature. What the hell happened there? And Ciaran Hinds, who I loved in Munich, is easily one of the worst main bad guys, one of the worst devils, I have ever seen in any movie. He just has no evil charisma, no sense of menace about him. He comes across as guy hired by the producers at the last minute because he works cheap and the guy they originally wanted backed out. He's just terrible.

And then there are the little Neveldine/Taylor moments that are sprinkled throughout the movie. I'm a fan of the directing duo, but the sort of cut scenes where weird stuff happens or, I guess, "points" are made about the significance of what's at stake for both the world and Johnny Blaze just don't work. They come off as overly awkward and confusing. Those kinds of moments worked in both Crank movies and in Gamer, though, so I understand why they wanted those moments in Ghost Rider 2. But, again, they just don't work here.

So, is Spirit of Vengeance better than the first Ghost Rider movie? Yes, but not by much. SoV has a little more energy than the first movie, and the special effects are a little more interesting. I wouldn't make much of an effort to see either one of them, though.

And that's my final verdict on Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; it's a wasted effort. Very little of it works, it's way too confusing, and it would be best for everyone to just avoid it and watch something else. It's just not worth your time.


So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Plenty.

Explosions: Several

Nudity?: None (it's a PG-13 movie).

Doobage: Some guy riding his motorcycle in Eastern Europe, a bunch of prophecy bullshit, a SWAT team attack, bullet to the face, slow motion guy flying through the air and shooting a machine gun, multiple flashbacks to a guy making a deal with the devil, car flipping, glass bottle throwing, chain fighting, pocket picking, face punching, some serious child abuse, flaming chain attack with body disintegration, soul stealing, mega shotgun attack, exploding car, a painkiller addiction, kidnapping, attempted car stealing, exploding truck, off screen hippie killing, van stealing, a cell phone gag, body throwing, missile attack, more chain attacks, Uzi to the face, rocket attack, extreme water drinking, Twinkie eating, wine drinking, a bunch of bullshit about the "spirit of vengeance," a stock footage montage, a 2,000 year old bottle of wine, very old bread, a weird beard hallucination montage, monk kung fu, attempted decapitation, a bunch of people chanting stuff, sniper attack, a fruitless head butt, a flaming truck, a spectacular final car chase, windshield punching, a wild flip, and a lame, confusing ending.

Kim Richards?: Attempted

Gratuitous: Eastern Europe, Idris Elba, prophecy bullshit, Nicolas Cage, a Nicolas Cage voiceover, chain attacks, pocket picking, soul stealing, kidnapping, missile and rocket attacks, mega water drinking, Christopher Lambert, a 2,000 year old bottle of wine, monk kung fu, Turkey, a bunch of weird stuff, a spectacular final car chase, and a confusing ending.

Best lines: "He's not safe here. Nonsense, this is a fortress," "Who is this guy?," "Yeah, that's right, I'm the guy that made a deal with the devil," "I don't save people," "Please, he's my son. I know, but he's not mine," "Kill it!," "Do you have any morphine?," "Oh, I get it. You're the baby devil's mama," "Dude, what happened?," "That's the guy. Looks like he works on a cruise ship," "I'm sorry. Did that hurt?," "Hey, what if you have to pee while you're on fire?," "If there's one thing these sonsabitches know it's wine," "My boy is one of God's children! No, he is not," "Damn. Bet you're happy to see me," "Don't touch me," "Danny? Do you know who I am?," "What's the matter with your face?," "Guns and wine? Naughty priests," "I was never afraid of you," "Road kill," and "My name is Johnny Blaze, and I'm the Ghost Rider."

The 411: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a terrible waste of time. Very little of it works, most of the time it's confusing, and it gets very boring towards the end. The special effects are pretty decent, but only as special effects. They don't help the movie out at all. Avoid this movie if you can, both in regular 2D and in 3D. It's just not worth your time.

Final Score:  3.0   [ Bad ]