Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector Review
Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 03.27.2006
If Cuba Gooding, Jr. or Anthony Anderson starred in this it would be the end of civilization. But it's Larry "gittin it dun," so we should all hoo ha in our pants. Right? Right?
Nope.
"Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" Review
Larry the Cable Guy- Larry
Iris Bahr- Amy Butlin
Megyn Price- Jane Whitley
Bruce Bruce- Big Shug
Tony Hale- Jack Dabbs
Joe Pantoliano- Mayor M.T. Gunn
Directed by Trent Cooper
Screenplay by Jonathan Bernstein and James Greer
Distributed by Lionsgate
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, and for language
Runtime- 89 minutes
Website: http://www.healthinspectorthemovie.com/
Since the rap group 3-6 Mafia received the Oscar for Best Song for their "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp," there's been much yim yam and wing hoo about how rap music, and in essence "rap culture," is directly responsible for the plight of young black men and "urban youth" in general. Not one "lower class" minority can get a job, a decent education, and there are no black families with fathers nor are there many black people who can read, apparently, because they listen to 50 Cent and Ludacris and whoever else (Kanye West, etc.). Reading is "acting white," and is what keeps them in the "ghetto." This commentary spans both sides of the political spectrum, featuring such right wing luminaries as douchebags Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, George F. Will, and Suzanne Fields, and on the left the Reverend Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Vice President Joe Lieberman. Of course, Bill Cosby is probably the most famous person to express this commentary (remember the NAACP conference Leonard Parker attended, wearing sunglasses, and went off on how poor black people "haven't lived up to their end of the civil rights deal"). So, black youth, "urban" denizens, are being held back by vicious hoodlums and assorted thugs with music and a "way of life" mass produced by the evil businessmen in Hollywood (the good ole secular Jews who like anal sex and run the world and hate Israel). So, if we assume that's true, that there is a massive conspiracy run by rap moguls to make damn sure no one "snitches," then how the heck do you explain poor rural white people all over the United States who listen to country music and Lynard Skynard and dutifully listen to and watch the stars of the show "Blue Collar TV" and "The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. You know, the ones wearing the Confederate Battle Flag jackets and the "Git er Done" hats and spitting tobacco into empty soda bottles, the ones you never see reading a book or a newspaper? Scores and scores of poor white people, forever proudly ignorant. Where are the Ward Connerlys and Rush Limbaughs demanding down on their luck white people to turn off NASCAR, get out of the trailer park, and go to college? Why is one form of poor civilization acceptable, and one isn't? All of these thoughts bore down on this reviewer while watching "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector," a movie that basically exists for no other reason than to revel in gleeful ignorance, latent racism, homophobia, and alleged "Red State" values.
The flick starts out with Larry (who apparently has no last name, more on that wrinkle later) waking up, showing his crack to the audience, and getting out of bed. He's a big time slob, stepping in left over pizza and general garbage on the floor while stammering in a probable drunken haze to the shower. Larry takes a whiz (actually a funny bit), smells a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off (most likely to see if it smelled too bad to wear one more time), then leaves the house. He says "Good morning" to his semi retarded neighbor Donnie (played with gusto by Champ Kind hisself, David Koechner) and then goes to breakfast at a local diner. While reading "Shotgun Quarterly" at the counter he notices some honey dripping on the floor and unsafe food handling by the chef (the chef is also a jerk to an old lady). Larry then kicks the bottom of the counter and unleashes a swarm of cockroaches that sends everyone out of the diner and allows Larry to show off his health inspector badge. Larry then shuts the diner down. Yahoo. We then segue way to the city heath department office and Larry conferring with his boss (Thomas F. Wilson, better known as Biff from the "Back to the Future" flicks), who Larry repeatedly calls a homosexual. The boss assigns Larry a partner, Health Department newcomer Amy Butlin (Iris Bahr), so he can show her the ropes of the job. Larry keeps calling her a man, which annoys her (making this a sort of buddy cop movie) and, when he takes her on the job he keeps humiliating her. That's about it for the recognizable story. The rest of the flick is an odd pastiche of farting, diarrhea, mumbling, and lusting for the quite attractive Jane (Megyn Price, of "Grounded For Life" fame), and a lame investigation into a city chef competition that falls flat because, well, the movie has problems.
Big problems.
The flick acts as though we're all supposed to know who Larry is, and then we're supposed to just accept that a city health department would hire him to be an inspector. There's no explanation as to why he's allowed to dress in his redneck garb while on the job, why he's such a slob in the first place, and ultimately why we should care about this guy anyway. It's "Hey, look at that, he said Dale Earnhardt, Jr's name, and he drives a big butt pick up with ‘Gun control is for sissies' bumper stickers. He's one of us, Stan!" It's a one joke movie in search of a joke. If the flick had been about Larry, a cable guy (or a pro bass fisher, or whatever) who has always wanted to be a health inspector and he goes to school to learn how to be one, we'd have a movie. We'd be able to delve into who Larry is, where he comes from, and it would then allow the story to come up with a series of actual funny situations for Larry to navigate through. Now, Larry (real name Dan Whitney) is quite funny when he's in stupid redneck mode, and he could probably carry a gross out comedy if given a better story to work with, but here, he just tries very, very hard to go nowhere. Again, it's all about being brash and ignorant and "loveable" all at the same time. He walks around eating moon pies (he has them stocked in the dashboard of his truck, too). That's funny for ten minutes. After that, it's hit and miss (mostly miss. Again, the flick needs a better situation for the characters to live in).
Iris Bahr does the uptight woman latent lesbian thing well as Butlin, and Megyn Price manages to work her sex appeal into a worthwhile performance (why she wants to hang out with Larry this reviewer can't explain because it's not addressed in any meaningful way). Jack Dabs plays a disgruntled crippled guy in a wheel chair, Bruce Bruce manages to play the huge fat guy with the fried food diner "Big Shug" with some gusto, and Joe Pantoliano puts in a creepy performance as Mayor M.T. Gunn (those eyebrows. Yeesh), but quite a bit of the good will created by these supporting players is nullified by the mere presence of Kid Rock in a gratuitous dream sequence cameo (he went from being a rapper to a pimp to a southern rock Joe Dirt redneck ignoramus who seems to think he's really a blues musician. Who knows, maybe he is, but the whole "Look at me, I'm a redneck! Spitoo!" attitude is awfully tiresome, and horrendously so in a flick with Larry). At least Ted Nugent didn't show up (which will probably happen if there's a sequel). And Koechner, well, does enough to make the audience laugh a bit. A bit. Oh, and Jerry Mathers (the Beaver) shows up as a celebrity judge at the cooking show. Jerry is quite the gambler.
So, if this flick ends up doing big business, are any of the guardians of culture going to wonder why "stupidity" is being celebrated?
Probably not.
The movie could have been better. The "idea" is probably better suited for a one hour "HBO" comedy special, or a DVD thing.
See it if you want to. You'll laugh a few times, but the times you do aren't coherent. It's not like this is a skit movie (that would have worked, too. Like an ensemble piece of rednecks running around or something).
Not gittin it done, Larry. Not gittin it done.
The 411: A movie with an alleged zany premise can’t exist solely on the zany because, well, what amount of zany is going to realistically last 90 minutes? “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” is a movie that celebrates one man’s amazing ignorance and the way it oozes into the lives of those it comes in contact with. It has no real story, and whatever good stuff that manages to appear is, well, good, but is quickly forgotten amid the rest of the hooey.
