See No Evil Review
Posted by Chad Webb on 05.22.2006
WWE’s Big Red Machine debuts in a hilariously silly gore fest
Jacob Goodnight: Kane/Glen Jacobs
Craig Horner: Richie
Tiffany Lamb: Hannah
Penny McNamee: Melissa
Samantha Noble: Kira
Michael J. Pagan: Tye
Luke Pegler: Michael
Cecily Polson: Margaret
Corey Parker Robinson: Blaine
Rachael Taylor: Zoe
Christina Vidal: Christine
Michael Wilder: Williams
Directed by: Gregory Dark
Running Time: 100 minutes
Release Date: May, 19th, 2006
Rated R for strong gruesome violence and gore throughout, language, sexual content and some drug use.
Maybe it was a mistake for WWE Films to mark See No Evil as their first release of 2006. Kane, also known as Glen Jacobs, is not the type of wrestling star that will generate immediate positive buzz for the start of numerous future films involving WWE pro-wrestlers. On the horizon, the world will see The Marine starring John Cena, and The Condemned with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin just to name a few. It is not an easy crossover for wrestlers to make into cinema. Hulk Hogan will tell you that. I suppose "The Rock" has received the most compliments in regards to his acting career, but if one thing is certain, Kane proves why wrestlers should keep their quality performances in the ring.
Police Officer Williams (Michael Wilder) has been living with the brutal memories of the monstrous Jacob Goodnight (Glen Jacobs) for four long years. After the gruesome slaying of his partner, Williams barely got away alive, as most of his left arm was chopped off while pumping one bullet into the giants skull. Now Williams works with troubled teens, most likely at a Juvenile Correction Facility of some sort. He is transporting 8 males and females to the Blackwell Hotel for cleaning as part of their community service duty. The hotel has been rotting away for many years, but it was once an extravagant and mysterious spot filled with loads of money, two way mirrors, and secret passageways. Their goal is to transform the ruin into a homeless shelter. Easier said than done. It seems that Blackwell is also the home of seven foot tall murderer Jacob Goodnight. He does not hesitate to unleash a killing spree on the teens with a bloody result. When one member of the unit is kidnapped by Jacob, the kids must find a way to stop the madman, and escape the hotel before axe swinging lunatic eliminates all those who lie in his path.
Oddly enough, the killing takes awhile to commence here. It is a bit annoying actually. The teens have two chaperones, including Williams, who let the group run wild as if they are parents watching their children in a McDonald's Playplace. They decide to pass the time by drinking shots frquently, until loud noises are caused by the kids getting massacred. The trouble starts when one kid seems to know of a hidden safe left behind by former hotel owner. All of the kids want to rebel, and roam the hotel by doing drugs, having sex, or beating the hell out of each other. Yep, you guessed it, the plot is not entirely original. Anyway, Jacob knows of the secret passageways, and he starts knocking off the kids with his hook and chain that is absurdly reminiscent of I Know What You Did Last Summer. In fact, that is what See No Evil is. A collage of classic horror films combined with an ugly looking wrestler as the maniacal killer.
He seems to have an affinity for eyeballs. As his childhood flashbacks pop up every now and then, we get more of a clear distinction of why Jacob has become a crackpot. His disgusting manner of retrieving the eyes is by sticking his finger right into the eye sockets, and rip them out. Many close-ups of his fingers can be seen, and they look suspiciously similar to the fingernails on the Saw II movie poster. The bulk of this film is stuffed with repeated killings that get incredibly repetitive until the filmmakers imagination kick in for some refreshing creative deaths. The blood and gore are certainly not scary in the least, but the order of the killings is not predictable. During one execution, Jacob shoves a cell phone down the mouth of his victim, until they swallow it whole. Everyone will cringe with the viewing of this scene.
I can't say much about Kane's acting ability, as he only stands around looking angry most of the time. He has a total of one line. As for the teenagers, not one of them exhibit talent that will stand out with energy, or open your eyes as powerful. The only memorable actress is the one who gets fully nude, in a clichéd shower sequence. It is not the fault of the actors here. The non existent plot development, and most notably the character development put the finishing blow into the heart of See No Evil. This has obviously not been screened by critics, and who could blame the WWE, as they have displayed their desperation to get people in seats by incorporating the film into Kane's wrestling storyline. I have basically been a fan of pro wrestling my entire life, but I have not turned the channel to that programming for months now. This type idiocy is the reason why.
Gregory Dark's claim to fame is through directing hardcore and soft core porn movies. He has also been known to make music videos however. The whole film has a Hills Have Eyes feel to it with countless shots of bugs in jars, beaten up dolls, and the atmosphere of a discarded building. The building Dark chooses for his location is the scariest part of the film because I kept thinking there is no way I would step foot into that decrepit place, no matter how much trouble I had gotten in. His directorial style is so commonplace, one forgets how truly forgettable the substance is. Not one of screenwriter Dan Madigan's characters are interesting or intriguing in the least except a creepy old woman who looks and sounds bizarrely like Norman Bates' mother in Psycho.
The ending is certainly not a surprise, and neither are the images of Kane throwing the bodies around as if he is participating in a hardcore match. It is jam packed with plenty of bloody, glimpses of nudity, and decaying rooms, but the suspense factor is about as high as recent WWE television. What increased my rating of the film was not just the couple innovative kills, but the comedy that occurred, which I am not sure was intentional. Whether they meant to make moviegoers laugh or not, the fact is they accomplished that feat wonderfully towards the end. I have been quite harsh, but See No Evil is not nearly as bad as some will make you believe. I would love to spoil a particular segment, but I cannot. Just remember that the very final scene is worth the time spent on this monotonous and grisly slaughter-fest.
The 411: I want to make it clear that this is not worth spending any money on unless a group of friends are planning to split the cost of a rental. One girl is good looking, two deaths are neat, and a few scenes are funny, but the rest is just plain ridiculous. I understand that Vince McMahon is attempting to reach new viewers with the release of these films, but he needs to try just a bit harder.
