Liev Schreiber- Robert Thorn
Julia Stiles- Katherine Thorn
Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick- Damien
David Thewlis- Keith Jennings
Mia Farrow- Mrs. Baylock
Pete Postlethwaite- Father Brennan
Michael Gambon- Bugenhagen
Directed by John Moore
Screenplay by David Seltzer
Distributed by Twentieth Century Fox
Rated R for disturbing violent content, graphic images and some language
Runtime- 110 minutes
Website: http://www.theomenmovie.com
This reviewer has never seen the original "The Omen," directed by Richard Donner in 1976. This reviewer knows of it, is familiar with it, and knows that it's famous for having Gregory freaking Peck as its star and for a neato mosquito beheading (this reviewer believes it was David Warner's character who got de-headed, although that could be wrong). Whether or not it's a good movie is up for debate (at least for this reviewer. He's going to have to go rent it now). What isn't up for debate, however, at least for this reviewer, is the status of the remake of "The Omen," released on June 6th, 2006 (6/6/06. Spooky). It stinks.
As seems to be the norm now in recent horror movies, the flick manages to blow all of its potential suspense in the opening scene explaining absolutely everything we're about to see before we've seen it. A priest at the Vatican Observatory is looking up at the night sky with the observatory's high powered telescope and notices something odd flaming across the darkness of space. It's a comet. Or something. It's apparently bad, anyway. The priest freaks out and calls a meeting of the various high Vatican officials. When everyone gets there (the Pope among them) we're all treated to a Power Point presentation of the various events that are foretold in the Book of Revelation that will bring on the end of the world (9/11, the Tsunami, wars, etc). The comet is among them. The Devil is going to return to Earth. We then segue way to a high speed car procession somewhere in Italy where we meet Robert Thorn (Live Schreiber). He‘s an under ambassador for the United States in Italy and he‘s being rushed to the hospital. Katherine Thorn (Julia Stiles) is pregnant and in labor. Robert gets to the hospital and finds out from a priest that the baby died during labor (very sad). The priest tells Robert that he could take one of the abandoned children from the hospital and call it is his own, therefore sparing Katherine's potential sadness. Brilliant, if sneaky plan. So, Robert goes for it, takes one of the kids, and tells his wife that they have a son. Wonderful.
And then, yeah, things get bad. For dang near everyone.
Okay, this reviewer will repeat that he hasn't seen the original, so he has no way of saying how faithful this remake is the original. But he gets the sneaky suspicion that this remake is overly faithful. You get the feeling while watching that, even if you haven't seen it, you still have somehow seen it. Nothing plays "fresh" or new. Even the actors seem bored to death with what they are doing, going through the motions to get through to the next scene. Perhaps that was the point, to show a bit of melancholy (Robert Thorn gets his full on ambassador job after his boss dies in a car explosion. That‘s a pretty big bummer). Too bad it doesn't help. The pace does pick up when things start exploding and the characters start running and fighting and the blood starts gushing, but those moments are so few and far between they don‘t reconcile with the rest of the movie‘s seemingly endless plodding. Even when a woman hangs herself from the side of a building in full view of twenty children and their families it doesn't leave any real after effect. It just happens, it's exciting, and then we move on. No one seems to be affected by it at all. The animals at the zoo go completely ape crap (including the apes), and instead of seeing the effect of that on the zoo and the people there, the flick just cuts away to go on to something else. Dog attack? Happens in two seconds. And when the movie goes into the "religious" and prophecy hooha it loses all of its steam and feels like a big budget remake of those "The Omega Code" movies. "Megiddo" and the end of the world and whatever else. Even with the prospect of the end of the world, and it being confirmed, no one seems to be in much of a hurry to stop it. John Moore, noted action director (he did "Behind Enemy Lines"), tries very hard to build suspense and make punchy scenes that pay off, but he fails dang near every time. There's just something very wrong with the way this movie is laid out. If it is very, very faithful to the original, perhaps it would have been more successful if Moore had gone in a different direction. Then, too, if Moore had cut out the opening Pope meeting sequence, the movie would have at least had some suspense going for it.
So what's good about the movie? The action scenes, the ones that we do get, are well staged and fun to watch. Even if they are short and we don't get enough of them, they try to hold the movie together (they don't, but they're fairly good anyway). We go get a pretty decent decapitation (rent the flick just for that moment. Very cool). Mia Farrow's turn as the nanny the Thorns hire is quite good. She's devilish. And she can swing a mighty axe (or was that sledgehammer? Either way, watch the frick out). The dogs are pretty nasty (the first dog we get to see, the jet black German Shepard, is one of the scariest dogs this reviewer has ever seen. Where the heck was he for the rest of the movie?). And, as usual, Pete Postlethwaite and Michael Gambon, as priests with inside knowledge, put on interesting performances. They're British, so they're probably going to be good for a gander anyway. The kid, Damien, Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick, is creepy enough, but his character manages to disappear for nearly twenty minutes in the middle of the movie for no apparent reason, and when he comes back you don't really care about him anymore and he's not as creepy. Julia Stiles manages to do an okay job as the mother, and Liev Schreiber tries very hard to make his character interesting. He fails, but at least he tries. David Thewlis' character Jennings is probably the biggest missed opportunity of the flick. He's boring for no other reason than… well, he's just boring. It's too bad.
With this essential package (cast, director, setting, etc) but with a different script and or direction, could we have had something better? Something less boring, more watchable? Probably. Maybe. It seems as though Moore tried to do a more "traditional" suspense thriller type movie instead of a full on horror movie. If he went horror, he may have been pressured to go more towards the hip and edgy "MTV" flash cut crapola as opposed to the slow build and then whammo! style. But then, too, that kind of frantic pacing may have helped the overall feel of the flick. Make it more, or at least seem more, than it is.
Or we could just get rid of that opening scene. Why blow your entire story in the first few minutes? Even if it is a remake, we already know the story, someone could make an effort to build suspense.
Suspense, suspense, suspense.
You should only see "The Omen" if you really have to. Otherwise, wait for the public library copy or the DVD at Blockbuster. Or HBO.
The 411: Why is it so hard to make a movie that doesn’t show off its entire story in the first few minutes? “The Omen” tries to make a go at it, but it dang near fails at every juncture. What does work we don’t get enough of and what doesn’t work goes on forever. Watch out for Mia Farrow, though.
