Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Review
Posted by Matthew Craggs on 07.10.2006
Thar she blows...
Johnny Depp ... Jack Sparrow
Orlando Bloom ... Will Turner
Keira Knightley... Elizabeth Swann
Jack Davenport ... Norrington
Bill Nighy ... Davy Jones
Jonathan Pryce ... Governor Weatherby Swann
Tom Hollander ... Cutler Beckett
Walt Disney Films presents a film directed by Gore Verbinski. Written by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of adventure violence, including frightening images. Runtime 150 minutes.
I may as well start this review with a little context: I didn’t like the first Pirates of the Caribbean picture, partly because I didn’t think it was very good, and partly because there as nothing memorable about it. I can remember the shower scene in Psycho, I can remember the Madison sequence in Band of Outsiders, and I even know Samuel L. Jackson’s speech from Pulp Fiction, but a bunch of swashbuckling? It didn’t do anything for me in a long run because there isn’t anything special about it. Action sequences are a dime a dozen and we’re at a point where no film can give us any action in a way that we haven’t seen before. The first Pirates was too forgettable, in fact, that I can’t recall the plot, and man, oh man, was I confused during the second.
Unfortunate for Dead Man’s Chest, my confusion with the second had nothing to do with forgetting the first. I was confused during Dead Man’s Chest because Dead Man’s Chest is confusing in itself. I realize that a movie like this requires some suspension of belief, but hear me out.
The world of Pirates of the Caribbean runs on laws that allow anyone dead to come back to life at any time. At the risk of spoiling certain plot points I won’t be more specific, but suffice to say that the dead roam the seas with no problem, and certain instances of transferring from death to life and vice versa are easy to find. This is a cheap device that takes any consequence out of the plot and devalues one of the final scenes where certain pirates are in limbo. We know these certain pirates, no matter how doomed they appear, have nothing to worry about. Plus, anyone can find the cast list for the third picture with a simple IMDB search.
The aforementioned dead sailing the waters are Davy Jones, a squid like creature, and his ghostly crew of deceased pirates. Given the choice between working on Jones’ ship, The Flying Dutchman, and the afterlife, these fallen fellows chose the ship. The ironic part is serving on the Flying Dutchman is like hell. For some reason Jones and crew can teleport themselves to different places and summon a giant octopus like creature to devour boats with a startling amount of ease. If they can cause such havoc with such little effort, why can’t they sneak up behind their enemies and off them with a quick slitting of the throat? You are ghosts, guys, take advantage of it!
I could go on…
The plot is a bit involved and complex, but the important parts can be summed up in a couple of sentences. Davy Jones can only be killed with a stab to his still beating heart which is kept in a chest buried in a beach on some island in god-knows-where. Jack Sparrow (Depp) wants the heart because he owes Jones a debt, Will Turner (Bloom) wants the heart to keep him and his sweetheart Elizabeth (Kneightly) out of jail for helping Sparrow, and Lord Cutler Beckett (Holland) wants the heart because he is involved in the trading business, and he who controls Davy Jones heart controls the sea.
The performances are standard, but don’t do much to bring you into the picture. Depp has received many kudos for his role as Jack Sparrow. While he is suitable for a the role the writers didn’t give him any good zingers and the Keith Richards impression gets boring. Bloom, on the other hand, has never impressed me, and doesn't start now.
The worst part of Dead Man’s Chest is trying to give it a rating. In my opinion the film would get a barely passing grade because of the sheer girth of it. In everyone else’s opinion it’s a fun tale of swashbuckling and ghostly behavior. The audience I saw the picture with gave it a round of applause at the end and the theatre thought it deserved a skit before the feature presentation, featuring the people at the concession stand dressed in costume. The Pirates series obviously strikes a chord with the majority of moviegoers, and it strikes very convincingly, and the film’s rating should reflect that. As a film its forgettable action fare, but maybe there’s something I just can’t see. What I can see is that many people are buying into the franchise, and enjoying it.
Worthy of the best box office weekend ever? Not quite, but Gore Verbinski and Company must be doing something right.
The 411: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is a pretty weak attempt, but done on such a grand scale that it strikes a chord with audiences of all ages. Is it a quality film? Not quite, but there is plenty of forgettable action to keep you entertained for two and a half hours.
