Marlon Wayans- Calvin
Linden Porco- Calvin (Body)
Gabriel Pimental- Calvin (Body)
Shawn Wayans- Darryl
Kerry Washington- Vanessa
John Witherspoon- Pops
Tracy Morgan- Percy
Chazz Palminteri- Walken
Lochlyn Munro- Greg
Damien Dante Wayans- Officer Wilson
Gary Owen- Officer Jankowski
Brittany Daniel- Brittany
Alex Borstein- Janet
Molly Shannon- Soccer Mom
David Alan Grier- David
Kelly Coffield- Jeweler
Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans
Screenplay by Keenan Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, and Marlon Wayans
Distributed by Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor throughout, language, and brief drug use
Runtime- 90 minutes
Website: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/littleman/
“Little Man” is the story of Calvin Sims (the head of Marlon Wayans, the body of Linden Porco and Gabriel Pimental), a hardened midget criminal who has just been released from a stint in prison. When he leaves the “Big House” he’s met by his rap star wannabe buddy Percy (Tracy Morgan). But the pals are not there to get reacquainted with each other. Instead, they’re planning a big heist. They plan to steal a big diamond. So, after setting up an ingenious duffel bag scam (Percy brings the bag into the swank jewelry store and sets it down, while Calvin hangs out inside and then moves around with the bag around his diminutive body. Who the heck is going to pay attention to a duffel bag?) Calvin is able to get the diamond and get out of the store. Things don’t go well from here on in. After being attacked by a dog that wandered into the duffel bag, Calvin and Percy are unable to escape because Percy’s car has been incapacitated (someone put a “boot” on the car’s front wheel). They both run to the nearest safe place they can find, a convenience store. The cops are in hot pursuit (Damien Dante Wayans and Gary Owen as two hysterically inept cops) and are going to eventually find a midget holding a big diamond. So Calvin gets rid of the diamond by placing it into the purse of a woman in the store (Vanessa, as played by Kerry Washington). Calvin figures he and Percy can slip the cops, track the woman and her husband (Darryl, as played by Shawn Wayans) back to wherever they live and retrieve the diamond. No fuss, no muss.
Yeah, right.
Like this reviewer stated earlier, nothing goes well from here on in. There is no way for Calvin or Percy to get into the woman’s house without doing something rash and violent (Calvin keeps telling Percy not to brandish guns out in the open. Guns equal prison). And then Percy has a brilliant idea (sort of the in the same league as the duffel bag gag). Percy will dress up Calvin like a baby and leave him on the steps. Darryl and Vanessa will come out to the stoop, see the kid, and whammo slammo the diamond will be retrieved.
Again, yeah right.
“Little Man” is a funny movie that works most of the time. The special effects used to place Marlon Wayans’ head on the midget body are a little weird at times, but after a while you get used to them, and you laugh at just how absurd the whole thing is. This is a young child with a giant head and no one seems to notice. Marlon Wayans does a bang up job as the surly little criminal turned child. He can go from innocent looking toddler to befuddled street thug to plain old street thug. The two credited body performers, Linden Porco and Gabriel Pimental, also do a great job. Their work coincides quite well with Marlon Wayans’ facial mugging. This is a great character that could be called into duty in a sequel or a different kind of movie (sort of like a midget James Bond type thing). Tracy Morgan’s Percy is a pretty decent side kick that gets a few good lines (his rap career ideas are very funny) and some good physical comedy bits. There isn’t enough of him, though. He disappears for almost half an hour, making you wonder where the heck he went. The downside of the movie is the couple played by Shawn Wayans and Kerry Washington. They do have good chemistry and they look great together, but their characterizations are a tad too dim. They never really question why someone would leave a baby on their doorstep, nor do they ever get all that curious about Calvin’s body oddities (stab wound, Airborne Ranger tattoo, giant shlong). They’re just too trusting. We’re not really sure what Shawn Wayans’ character does for a living (Washington’s character is some kind of corporate executive type). Their relationship (he wants a family and a kid but she doesn’t want to do anything that interferes with her career) is interesting, but it just needs more refining. The diamond ring without the diamond thing is a funny bit, though. You end up seeing the pay off to that a mile away, but it’s still funny.
The other problem with the flick is its somewhat lackadaisical directing. Keenan Ivory Wayans, one of Hollywood’s most gifted comedians and someone who, most of the time, understands what is and isn’t funny, allows too many gags to play out too slowly. There’s no punch, no sense of urgency to anything after the initial diamond heist. Even when Percy is given twenty four hours to retrieve the diamond by mobster Walken (Chazz Palminteri) there’s no sense of danger or, again, urgency. The flick, at times, reminds you of “Date Movie,” not so much in content but in feeling. It doesn’t move fast enough. And there seems to be a holding back by everyone involved. You get the sense that the movie should be “dirtier.” The sex jokes, while in their present state are very funny, should be even funnier than they are. Why doesn’t Calvin let out a few “F” words? You can’t go wrong with swearing midgets. Perhaps there will be a different version on DVD? The “raunchy” version perhaps?
And then there’s John Witherspoon as Kerry Washington’s father. Witherspoon is usually pure gold in a comedy. The man can do crazy old coot better than Jerry Stiller. In “Little Man,” Witherspoon just sort of hangs around. He doesn’t get to do his insult thing, or his slurred motor mouth routine. When he does get a chance to confront Calvin he gets better, but there’s not enough of that, either. You get the sense that he, too, is holding back. Too bad on that.
David Alan Grier, a Wayans veteran going back to “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” and “In Living Color,” does a nice bit at the beginning of the movie as a paid singer in a restaurant. Darryl bring Grier’s character along to the restaurant because he thinks he’s about to hear that his wife Vanessa is pregnant. Things don’t work out the way they were planned, so Grier ends up singing wildly inappropriate songs. His bit with the synthesizer guitar is hilarious (not as hilarious as Grier doing Don “No Soul” Williams singing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree” in “Amazon Women on the Moon,” but it’s close). “In Living Color” alumnus Kelly Coffield also makes an appearance as a “street thug” speaking jeweler. Molly Shannon shows up as minivan driving lunatic mother who can’t pay attention to the road. And then there’s Rob Schneider showing up as a costumed performer at Calvin’s “birthday” party. It’s both depressing and goofy. And Alex Borstein, voice of Lois on “Family Guy,” gets to play a devoted mother of several children. Her interactions with Calvin are some of the best of the flick.
The cops, played by Damien Wayans and Gary Owen, get some of the best lines as cops debating on “what kind of black” Calvin is (this is towards the beginning of the movie in the convenience store). If the rest of the movie were more consistent this routine would be remembered and quoted for a few years (it really is that good). We also get a good goofy performance from Lochlyn Munro as Greg, one of Darryl’s friends and neighbors. He’s a macho jock punk who teaches his kids that it’s okay to beat people up and be a jerk. His best bit is when he freaks out at Calvin’s birthday party playing football and screams at his own child. And, of course, we also have John DeSantis, “Masters of Horror” icon Moonface, as a mob henchman who engages in quite the midget fight. Funny stuff from DeSantis.
Watch out for these bits: the groin hitting montage (poo poo to the major critics in thinking this kind of stuff is just terrible. It got the biggest laugh of the movie), midget pull ups, diamond eating, castor oil drinking, midget running, the body of Brittany Daniel, baby bouncer kung fu, a playground dice game, some nasty breast feeding, dirty diaper humiliation, a hockey player beating up a midget, and a midget driving a car. They’re all good for what they are.
It’s too bad this movie isn’t funnier because it has the potential. It’s not a failure by any measure, but it’s not a grand slam, either. Keenan Ivory Wayans, unless he has a different unrated version in a vault somewhere, needs to do another movie just like this but make it faster. Give it more pizzazz. And give us more Calvin doing bizarre stuff.
If you like the Wayans brothers, definitely go see it. Otherwise, make your own call. You’ll probably like it if you give it a chance.
The 411: “Little Man” is the latest Keenan Ivory Wayans comedy featuring a whole bunch of his family members and a bizarre midget main character. It’s a great, goofy premise that doesn’t live up to its potential for what can be called undetermined reasons. The movie is missing something to tie it all together. It works for the most part, but it needs something else. Raunch perhaps?
