Fool's Gold Review

Posted by Chad Webb on 02.11.2008

24 karat crap.

Matthew McConaughey: Benjamin Finnegan
Kate Hudson: Tess Finnegan
Donald Sutherland: Nigel Honeycutt
Alexis Dziena: Gemma Honeycutt
Ewen Bremner: Alfonz
Ray Winstone: Moe Fitch
Kevin Hart: Bigg Bunny
Malcom-Jamal Warner: Cordell
Brian Hooks: Curtis
David Roberts: Cyrus
Directed By: Andy Tennant
Written By: John Claflin, Daniel Zelman, and Andy Tennant
Release Date: February 8, 2008
Running Time: 113 minutes







Rated PG-13 for action violence, some sexual material, brief nudity and language.

It all boils down to how do viewers like their treasure? Would you prefer it on land, or in the water? Do you fancy Matthew McConaughey’s rippling abdominals or Nicholas Cage with his corny one-liners? What blonde catches your eye? Diane Kruger or Kate Hudson? It is possible that your answers to these questions reflect the plot to Fool’s Gold, and if that’s the case then this harmless rom-com might be enjoyable, but the rest of us would rather not drown in damp clichés and ridiculous slapstick adventure sequences.

Benjamin Finnegan (Matthew McConaughey) has been searching for the lost fortune of an old Spanish ship for years. He now resides in the Caribbean with his sidekick Alfonz (Ewen Bremner). One day their boat has an accident and sinks. However, this little mishap unearths a clue that leads Finnegan to believe he is on the right track. Unfortunately, he divulges this update to his wife Tess (Kate Hudson) right after she divorces him, and she is reluctant to help him in any way since he cannot present proof of his new discovery. Finnegan soon convinces the wealthy millionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland) to finance his hunt for the Spanish Galleon. Coincidentally, Nigel is the employer of Tess. The group seems to be well on their way to finding the gold, but they have competition in the form of Moe Fitch (Ray Winstone), Benjamin’s former mentor, and the shady rap artist Bigg Bunny (Kevin Hart). Bunny has deals with Moe and Ben, but he plans to use his bodyguards to eventually take the lot for himself.

The best and most intelligent films involving riches and booty can mesh several different genres, styles, and moods. Some focus on action like The Italian Job. Some concentrate on history and puzzles like National Treasure. And others on comedy like City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold. Only a select few can balance all the necessary elements like the masterpiece Treasure of the Sierra Madre or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Offerings such as Fool’s Gold, or Into the Blue (which is a close relative) have trouble focusing on anything. They are incompetent, annoying, and hackneyed.

The reliably shirtless Matthew McConaughey turns in his usual routine of walking around spewing lines similar to a cartoon character. McConaughey seems content to keep attempting witless forays into the adventure realm. This is not the category he will ever excel in, nor is romantic comedies. McConaughey has always shined brightest in thrillers like Frailty or Two for the Money, not garbage like Sahara or Failure to Launch. Because of his flashy looks and impressive physique, he is commonly miscast and misplaced. He has untapped potential. At one time this might have been easily excavated for a recovery, but now it is certainly buried too deep to salvage.

Kate Hudson has been in exactly two films I can tolerate. One is obvious in Almost Famous, while the other is The Skeleton Key, an above average thriller. Each of the aforementioned efforts was definitely not carried by Hudson. She has taken her once promising career and dumped it down the dirty drain. Why she results to throw away romantic comedies is a mystery I’ll never solve. Yes it is true, she and McConaughey have mild chemistry, but there is no need to over-exaggerate this fact. At times, the pair can be genuinely fun as they flaunt their hip sunglasses and low IQ's. However, the blondness can also be too much to handle as they exchange inane banter and prance around in bathing suits.

Donald Sutherland looks incredibly confused and out of place as the idiotically complex millionaire Nigel Honeycutt. His accent is maddening and the delivery of his dialogue is screaming for someone to put him out of his misery. Ray Winstone (Beowulf, The Departed), a brilliant actor who has been submitting the performances of his lifetime is sadly underutilized to an unhealthy extent here. As Moe Fitch, he brings his trustworthy A-game to the shallow proceedings, and hopefully this was meant to pay his grocery bill. Alexis Dziena is Gemma Honeycutt, the ditsy daughter of Nigel, who follows along gleefully. In a role that would have been abused by so many other young women, Dziena actually won me over with her sparkle. She was magnificent in Broken Flowers (where she reveals a great deal of herself), and she supplies almost all the zest into this bland diving expedition.

One of the payoffs is admiring the sight of the treasure, and once the reward is seen in Fool’s Gold, it is more disappointing than any other aspect of this deep-sea bore. The gems and coins are as artificial and phony as the plot. Of course more than two screenwriters customarily spells disaster. Not one of the three scribes were interested in enticing viewers with engrossing history, suspenseful clues, or skillfully crafted action (i.e. all the facets that I prefer). McConaughey rambled like the Micro Machines guy for more than five minutes explaining the past of the sunken vessel and the people that came in contact with the treasure. I was in another space system. Director Andy Tennant (Hitch, Fools Rush In) fills Fool’s Gold with the most absurdly frivolous scenes which are intended to induce hysterical laughter. For instance, McConaughey hopping around underwater with an anchor attached, running barefoot and soaked to a court hearing, or being propelled in the air by an explosion. This picture is a sloppy and stupid mess.

If watching a scraggly bearded McConaughey and an unshapely Hudson frolic around gorgeous vistas with uneven tans and permanently infuriating smiles as sunny music echoes in the background is entertaining, then I confess, I am a pessimistic critic as one commenter put it. On the other hand, I could be precisely correct in my judgment of this preposterous and lame treasure hunt. You decide. If just one more time I hear the excruciating name Bigg Bunny, listen to nauseating lines about Finnegan’s sexual prowess, or endure the grating homosexual cooks, somebody will have to restrain me in a straight jacket.

The 411: I know McConaghey and Hudson have fans. I debated with a couple of them on a recent 411 movie zone podcast (Tony Farinella and George Sirois). I just think that the two of them are in serious need of a career overhaul. Their films are borderline torturous, and the storylines are just the opposite of exciting or enjoyable. I did not hate Fool's Gold, but I definitely disliked it with intensity. It is pretty much what you would expect by watching the trailer.

Final Score:  4.0   [ Poor ]