The Luers Review: The Ruins
Posted by Erik Luers on 04.13.2008
Believe the hype! This movie is pretty bad.
The Ruins is that special film which feels that it doesn't need a plot in order to be successful. Throw in a few attractive cast members, some beautiful locations, an eerie soundtrack, and some graphic gore effects, and the audience will be ready to go on a wild adventure. This is a film which can only be enjoyed with your brain shut off, and eventually, you may need to undergo a lobotomy to interpret its sheer brilliance; it's Lord of the Flies for dummies. It's almost as if director Carter Smith set out to make a film equally inane and inconsistent, and he hits the ball right out of the park.
The plot consists of........oh, who am I kidding? All you really need to know is that two couples (and one random German tourist) wind up trapped on top of an ancient Mayan pyramid, covered in long, infected plants that take on a life of their own. Preventing our protagonists from leaving are a group of villagers who do not want these recently infected people to carry the disease into the outside world. Better to let the disease die out on top of that pyramid ,I suppose. I can see where they're coming from. Our five "geniuses" are then forced to find a way to survive, be it by escaping or moaning, crying, and whining. Those creepy vines sneak up on them, get under their skin, and continue to making their remaining minutes a living hell. Oh boy, did I feel their pain.
Scott B. Smith's screenplay (adapted from his original novel) is so generic,and featuring characters that are so bland, that you eagerly await their demise. Every time they speak, we cringe, as they make dumber and dumber choices in an attempt to stay alive. Going down into a dark tunnel to retrieve a cell phone is never a wise move, no matter how smart you may think you are. If you see a lifeless body in the corner, don't assume that the old chap is merely asleep. If worst comes to worst, you'll realize that it's a rotting corpse and will have the heavenly daylights scared out of you. Sure, you'll shock the audience with a cheap BOO scare, but at what cost? Risk your believability in exchange for a few lame frights? Better you just stay put and wait things out. Do not converse with your friends however, as your dialog will come off as amateurish and on a second grade level, and we can't have that. Just silently wait for the phoned in, cheap CGI-created plants to attack. Perhaps they'll even do a few musical numbers like Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors, or maybe they're just the silent type.
Although a few of the gore effects are inspired (the self mutilation sequence is twisted, yucky fun), the story becomes too thin to care. That cutting scene is just reminiscent of Bug (2007), a much better piece about the effects of closed paranoia and obsessive compulsiveness. This is the type of film which Roger Ebert would deem an example of the the idiot plot theory: in order for the plot to move forward, every actor is required to behave like an idiot. That's certainly the case here. Trust me, don't bother with these idiots.
The 411: The Ruins is ruined by weak acting, screenwriting, and direction. Some good gore effects can't save this film from being a poor retread of Gilligan's Island: Poison Ivy Edition. Don't even bother.
