Outlander Review

Posted by Chad Webb on 02.14.2009

If you haven’t heard of this, that’s probably a good thing.

James Caviezel: Kainan
Sophia Myles: Freya
Jack Huston: Wulfric
Cliff Saunders: Boromir
Ron Perlman: Gunnar
John Hurt: Rothgar
Patrick Stevenson: Unferth
Bailey Maughan: Erick
Directed By: Howard McCain
Written By: Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain
Release Date: January 23, 2009
Running Time: 115 minutes







Rated R for violence.

Are you sick of the putrid science-fiction films in recent years? Me too. Excluding the animated WALL-E, the live-action sci-fi genre is in dyer need of a savior to refuel its relevance. Those efforts that do land in theaters end up recycling the same old plots. A part of me hoped that the little publicized Outlander would be the exception. Maybe it would be an overlooked jewel early this year. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Instead, it is a laughably awful piece of muck that will have viewers continuing to pine for originality.

In the time of the Vikings, the Iron Age, a spaceship crash lands on Earth. The man that emerges from the ship is named Kainan (James Caviezel). He is alone in sea of trees, but has numerous supplies from his ship that could be beneficial. Sadly, they do not get him far because he is captured by Vikings, and kept prisoner in their camp, which is ruled by King Rothgar (John Hurt). Meanwhile, a creature called the Moorwen is ravaging the land, and killing anyone in its path. When a nearby village is destroyed, Rothgar is worried that the living members of that village will return and assume his group was responsible. Soon, Rothgar and the heir to the throne Wulfric (Jack Huston) realize Kainan can be helpful to the situation. It turns out he brought the Moorwen to Earth, and he is the only one who understands its weaknesses. Kainan and the Vikings must work together to defeat this new threat.

Even though I knew how bad Outlander was, I had initially awarded a couple points based solely on the leading man, and his undeniable talents. That would be Jim Caviezel, one of the most underrated actors of this generation. He portrayed Jesus Christ in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, yet many people still have no clue who he is. He has also been in a number of marvelous films such as The Count of Monte Cristo and Frequency to name a few. Regardless of how convincing and entertaining he can be, Caviezel’s performance here as Kainan is largely phoned in, which is a shame because I have a hard time bragging about his skills in the wake of sludge like this.

He is surrounded by a couple recognizable names, and a few others that are not familiar at all. Simply listing the character names might make you cringe. The lack of creativity is mind-boggling. John Hurt plays the vulnerable old King Rothgar, who takes a liking to Kainan instantly. Hurt is a fine thespian, but matches Caviezel’s unimpressive turn with this utterly dull royal. The next in line for the crown is Wulfric, played by Jack Huston. Huston’s scraggly appearance says Viking all the way, but his acting says “Better suited for TV.” Ron Perlman, copying last year’s In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale by picking up his January paycheck, is Gunnar, the leader of the rival Viking clan. He is bald, muscular, and sports a killer beard that reminded me of General Kael from Willow. Mentioning General Kael should get me at least one or two positive comments. Other names are….wait for it…Boromir, Unferth, but then randomly two characters are named Jon and Erick. Ok…sure.

The first 5 minutes or so of Outlander had me optimistic. Kainan’s weapons and tools deserve adjectives like nifty and cool, and the atmosphere was restrained and simple. That didn’t last long. Once he gets captured, the story begins its rapid downhill decline into the garbage heap. Outlander makes the same mistake 2008’s Doomsday did of rehashing elements from about 20 other superior films. Examples include: Jurassic Park, Predator, Planet of the Apes, Alien, and I could go on. In addition, it further cements my belief that no one today can make a passable movie about Vikings. Those poor saps endured this and Pathfinder.

The special effects are hideous, and in my opinion, nowhere near polished enough for a mainstream motion picture. The Moorwen, as it is called, has Predator like abilities by camouflaging itself, mostly in the dark. I guess it sleeps during the day. When it is visible, it emits a neon red light, bleeds green, and spits monster lugi’s. Beware of spit! I always laugh when the CGI technicians concoct a monster or creature based only on what must be fooling around drunk on the computer. I envision a group conversing about how scary the long sharp teeth will look, and since he is an extra-terrestrial, he should be invisible. An 8 year-old might love the idea, but certainly not me.

Interspersed throughout Outlander are flashbacks of Kainan’s home planet, which was overwhelmed with angry Moorwen. I firmly believe a film ten times more engaging than this one could have been made if it had focused on that planet alone. But for some reason, slaughtering Vikings with a lame alien was selected instead. One of the most hilarious sequences occurs after Kainan is starting to become friends with the Vikings. Wulfric challenges him to a game of “Shields”, which consists of people standing in a circle with the shields placed on their shoulders like a platform. The object is to skip, or perhaps frolic, around the shields without falling. Kainan of course is a natural, and somehow both men execute perfect flips while doing this. Does anyone in Hollywood know how to read? If they do, I am certain someone read this and knew how completely retarded it was.

Outlander was directed by Howard McCain, who penned the Underworld: Rise of the Lycans screenplay, and is busy with the upcoming Conan reboot script as well. McCain has a knack for action, but that is the extent of his potential. A handful of the chase sequences and hunts for the Moorwen are suspenseful, intense, and sufficiently assembled. This is difficult to praise however when the rest of his filmmaking, including the screen play co-written with Dirk Blackman, is static, raw, and hackneyed. Basically the Vikings and Kainan hunt the Moorwen, but aside from that, nothing interesting transpires save for a tepid romance. Sophia Myles is Kainan’s lady friend Freya. I couldn’t help but think of what my father used to jokingly say when we would sit down to watch a movie. The female love interest was usually easy to spot, and my Dad would first see the woman and say “Well, that’s the chick the guy’s gonna bone.” Freya is needed for little else.

How is it possible that when Battlestar Galactica, such a critically acclaimed and heavily watched science-fiction television series exists today, are all the cinematic incarnations of the same genre absent of intelligence, inventiveness, and dedication? The most palpable sin committed was not detailing the universe adequately. The who, what, where, when, and how of Kainan’s people are never addressed. Outlander is a major disappointment, and is destined to set a record for fastest DVD to end up in the Wal-Mart bargain bin and/or the Best Buy $3.99 weekly sales prices.

The 411: I admit I am a big Jim Caviezel fan, and even though I tried to have faith that he improved the proceedings, after time had passed, I could not deny the obvious. No matter what your level of fondness for his acting might be, this is a near travesty for sci-fi followers. Outlander made barely a splash in theaters, and will probably be skipped over on DVD shelves when it arrives in stores. It is one of those films many of us wishes was entertaining and original, but in reality it is neither. See this only if you’re morbidly curious, and are eager to laugh at sheer horribleness.

Final Score:  2.5   [ Very Bad ]