[Gossip] Patton Oswalt Reveals Why He Would Be A Terrible Spokesman
Posted by Joseph Lee on 12.30.2013
Patton Oswalt decided to make fun of Brander Influeces after they tweeted him asking him to be a spokesperson for the company. They wrote: "@pattonoswalt I'd love to invite you to get paid to tweet for awesome brands targeted at comedians and comedy fans! DM us!"
Oswalt then went on a rant in which he tried out several slogans for various products to show why he may not be the person they want to work for them.
He replied: "@BA_Influencers Can we cut out the middleman and you guys just take a big, wet s*** right on my soul? Might save time. Hey, @BA_Influencers. Might have been a bit harsh on you guys. Let me send you some examples of my 'awesome brand tweeting.' Ready? @BA_Influencers If you hate static cling as much as God hates gays & women, then @BounceFresh dryer sheets are a must!!! @BA_Influencers The great taste of @SunChips won't make you forget that 'handsy' counselor at sailing camp, but they're still good. @BA_Influencers Tired of the tooth enamel loss from bulimia? The roaring bout of diarrhea from @TacoBell keeps your smile fresh! @BA_Influencers Packed with peanuts, @SNICKERS gets 'em in the van and KEEPS 'em in the van. Last one, guys: Integrity is like a pink, unsullied vagina. Let @BA_Influencers cram the Cock of Compromise balls-deep. #f*** #off"