Austrian Death Machine - Double Brutal Review

Posted by Marshall Slayton on 10.01.2009

Arnold Schwarzenegger is back to administer his second serving of Brutal. But nothing is more Brutal than NEAAHHH!



Disc One

1. Double Ahhnold
2. I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle
3. Let Off Some Steam, Bennett
4. Who Writes The Songs?
5. It’s Simple, If It Jiggles It’s Fat
6. See You At The Party Richter
7. Hey Cookie Monster, Nothing Is More Brutal Than Neaahhh
8. Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?
9. Come On Cohaagen, Give Deez People Ehyar
10. Who Is Your Daddy, and What Does He 2?
11. Come On, Do It, Do It, Come On, Come On, Kill Me, Do It Now
12. Allow Me To Break The Ice
13. Conan, What Is Best In Life?

Disc Two

1. Intro to the Intro
2. T2 Theme
3. Hell Bent For Leather
4. Time Travel: The Metallica Conspiracy
5. Trapped Under Ice
6. Iron Fist
7. Recalling Mars
8. I Turned Into a Martian
9. Killing Is My Business… And Business Is Good
10. Tactically Dangerous
11. Gotta Go

The world needs more bands like Austrian Death Machine, a metalcore band devoted to none other than Mr. Universe - and the greatest actor in the world! The sophomore effort of Tim Lambesis (As I Lay Dying) has returned for another Arnold Schwarzenegger tribute, and the result is both hilarious and a headbanger’s wet dream. Lambesis sounds pretty similar to his As I Lay Dying self - angry and loud - yet the main difference here is that he does it with a giant smile. And what good is someone who takes themselves too seriously?

Within the first two tracks, you’ll know whether or not you’re in for the rest of the ride. Double Brutal opens with a skit, and there are several of them. During the introduction, Josh Robert Thompson introduces us to the new impersonation of Arnold, which has greatly aged since the first album. The two Arnolds collide in a feud over a phone call:

“You sound like an old man,” says the younger Arnold.

“Of course I sound older than you, you idiot,” the real Arnold responds. “I’m 62 years old, and totally angry! You sound like me when I was 18!”

Less than a minute into the album, and I already have my first major laugh. Things only go upward with the amazing Terminator 2 tribute, “I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle.” This finds Lambesis at his hilarious best, establishing the rules for brutal Arnold music: anthemic chorus, clear breakdowns, and refined guitar solos. The song’s so good, you’ll be tempted to pop in your T2 DVD and revel in the badassness that is Arnold Schwarzenegger with a shotgun.

The first disc is a gem. The most hilarious, albeit repetitive track, “Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?” deserves a tip of the hat simply because Lambesis turns one of the Governator’s worst films, Jingle All The Way, into excellent heavy metal bliss. It features the best guitar solo on the album, which I found reminiscent of Metallica’s Master of Puppets... but with cookies.

Other films given the Arnold bump include Total Recall (“Come on Cohaagen, Give Deez People Ehyar” and “See You at the Party Richter”), Conan The Barbarian (“Conan, What is Best in Life?”) Commando (“Let Off Some Steam, Bennett”), Batman and Robin (“Allow Me to Break The Ice”), Predator (“Come On, Do It, Do It, Come On, Come On, Kill Me, Do It Now”) and surprisingly, Pumping Iron (“It’s Simple, If It Jiggles, It’s Fat). If you’re familiar with any of these films, these songs should force a big grin on your face.

The second album is more disposable: it features covers from the likes of Judas Priest, Metallica, Misfits, Megadeth, and others. They all sound pretty identical to the originals, sans for the inclusion of Ahhnold making his occasional hilarious comment. When discussing Batman and Robin, he asks, “Did you know that movie was written by penguins?” If you’ve ever seen Joel Schumacher’s fourth Batman film, this version of Schwarzenegger might be telling the truth. On the flip side, the metal verison of the T2 theme is definitely worth a look, and is way cooler than any of Danny Elfman’s Terminator: Salvation score.

All in all, Double Brutal is one hell of a fun record, yet its shelf life is debatable. You’ll either keep it for two weeks and toss it aside, or if you’re like me, and you hold Schwarzengger’s movies close to your heart, Tim Lambesis’s side project just might be the immense dose of BRUTAL you’ve been looking for.

So pick yourself up a copy. Do it. DO IT NOW!

The 411: I personally would have like to have seen a greater assortment of Arnold movies: True Lies, Red Heat, Junior, Hercules in New York, and End of Days are noticeably absent. Still, Lambesis sounds like he had a blast recording Double Brutal -- and it's equally as fun to listen to. This album maintains a great balance between heavy and hilarious. If you're a Schwarzenegger fan like I am, then Austrian Death Machine is a nostalgia trip from heaven. Recommended.

Final Score:  8.0   [ Very Good ]