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411’s WWE Velocity Report: 11.26.05

November 27, 2005 | Posted by Scott Fried

Simon Dean versus Taylor Phoenix

Dean comes down to the ring on a cruddy little scooter. He cuts a promo, calling England fatter than America. Dean then offers Phoenix a protein bar. Phoenix refuses, so Dean slaps him down. Dean gets a bodyslam, then clobbers Phoenix with a overhead shot. He follows with a but shot, but Phoenix reverses a hiptoss into one of his own. He follows up with another, then hits some elbows, but Dean throws him down. Simon Dean steps on Taylor Phoenix in the corner, then hits a back kick while talking to Jim Korderas. Phoenix blocks a suplex, then kicks Simon and slams him into the turnbuckle. Simon walks out of the way of a springboard twister press, then nails an elbow drop and grabs a front facelock. Phoenix gets out, but Dean takes him down with a drop toe hold and hits the Curb Stomp. He covers Phoenix (while doing pushups), but only gets two. Dean gets a chinlock, then slams Phoenix in the corner when he breaks out. Dean whips Phoenix across the ring, then grabs a wristlock and kicks away. He applies an abdominal stretch. Phoenix reverses a suplex into one of his own, then hits two dropkicks. He follows up with a crossbody for two. Phoenix hits overhand shots, but Dean nails him with a Pump Kick. He then hits the Simonizer for the win.

Winner: Simon Dean
Match Time: 5:00
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Dean was great here (in terms of innovation and charisma), but the thing just didn’t really hang together for me.

Sylvan versus Funaki

Lockup to start, and Sylvan shoves Funaki down. Another lockup, and Funaki gets a waistlock. Sylvan breaks and pushes Funaki, who slaps him. Sylvan chases Funaki around the ring, then Funaki slaps him again when they re-enter. Funaki leaves again and vogues, then leads Sylvan around the ring. This time, Sylvan catches him and beats on him on the outside, eventually whipping him into the steps. Sylvan press slams Funaki onto the steps, then heads into the ring and struts. Sylvan goes back out and brings Funaki in, covering for two. Funaki fights back with punches, but Sylvan kicks him down and whips him to the corner. Sylvan shoots Funaki into the opposite corner, then grabs a bearhug. Funaki fights out, but Sylvan whips him back into the corner. Funaki boots a charge, then hits an enziguri. Funaki gets some punches, and the two hit a double clothesline. Funaki comes back with the dropkick, then more punches. Funaki hits the bulldog for a long two, then goes up top. He hits a crossbody for two. Funaki runs Sylvan into the buckle, and slams him there repeatedly. Funaki vogues, then sets Sylvan up for the Tornado DDT. Sylvan throws him off, then DDTs him for the win.

Winner: Sylvan
Match Time: 5:06
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Even enough offense that it wasn’t a bad contest. Still, I can’t stomach using a DDT as a finisher and calling it “The Showoff.”

On Smackdown, JBL and Rey Mysterio were attacked by HBK, Carlito, and Chris Masters during a tag match against Regal and Burchill. And if you thought that was a lot of guys, man, did you get a surprise during the main event!

MNM versus Paul London and Brian Kendrick

This is non-title, assumably. Kendrick and London do stereo backflips off the second turnbuckles as they enter. Gear. Kendrick starts with Mercury, and they lock up. Mercury gets a headlock, but Kendrick shoots him off. Mercury comes back with a shoulder, but Kendrick dodges an elbow and gets the armdrag. Kendrick reverses a hiptoss and gets a monkey flip, then gets another armdrag and hiptoss before applying a headlock. Mercury tags Nitro, whom Kendrick avoids. Kendrick tags London, and the high-flyers hit a double hiptoss and chest kick for two. Nitro squashes London in the corner, then whips him across the ring. London elbows a charge and hits the Mushroom Stomp, then tags Kendrick, who gets a double axe handle to Nitro’s arm. Tag to London, who does the same. Same in another tag to Kendrick. Double backdrop, and London pancakes Kendrick onto Nitro. Nitro gets a wristlock and tags Mercury, who comes in with a double axe handle. Kendrick pulls Mercury in front, then takes control, sending Mercury out of the ring and hitting a rope-aided headscissor takedown. Nitro gets involved, but Lodnon takes out both with a somersault plancha. Back in, London squashes Mercury in the corner, then Kendrick leaps off him with a punch. Double dropkick, and Kendrick grabs a headlock. Mercury fights back, but Kendrick goes up top. London fights off Nitro, but Melina crotches Kendrick. MNM hit a double legdrop for two, then a double gutbuster. Mercury gets a mounted punch, then flicks his hair and hits a double foot stomp. Mercury gets shoulders in the corner, then tags Nitro, who does a weird flip before charging Kendrick in the corner. Nitro puts on a modified crossface, but Kendrick gets up and hits a jawbreaker. Mercury tags in and goes for a neckbreaker, but Kendrick hits an enziguri kick and tags London, who takes out MNM with dropsaults and spinning heel kicks and hurricanranas and such. London springs off Nitro with an SSP to Mercury, but Nitro makes the save. MNM whip London to the corner, but he slides out of the ring and Kendrick hits both with a crossbody from the top. Kendrick goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but gets thrown out of the ring. Melina distracts London, and he gets hit with the Snapshot for the pin.

Winners: MNM
Match Time: 8:34
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: I love Mercury, London, and Kendrick, and they didn’t disappoint here. Nitro was okay, too.

That’s that. Catch you Tuesday for the Smackdown special, and GO SMACKDOWN at the Survivor Series!

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Scott Fried

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