The Strokes – First Impressions of Earth Review
Posted by Anthony Leung on 01.11.2006
Now with 20% more bass!
You were just about to stroll over to the checkout counter with your week's worth of groceries when the lady working at the sample booth catches your attention. Curious as to what she has to offer, you start to push your grocery cart her direction but promised yourself that you won't buy anything. You are just there to see what the freebie is this week.
"Hello," you say to the lady, who is sporting a ridiculously wide smile. "What do you have there?"
"This is the newest from The Strokes," responds Peg, or at least that's the name on her nametag. "It's new and improved! It features more passion, more grit, and 20% more bass. It's so good, we've named it First Impressions of Earth and we even have comedian David Cross as our celebrity endorser in our TV commercial. Just one taste and you'll never go back to the old Strokes again!"
She pours some First Impressions out of the box and into a single sample cup then hands it over to you. You shoot the sample into your mouth, and chewed as the intense flavours burst with every bite.
"Wow," you say with your mouth still full, "that's really good! I mean, I loved The Strokes before, but this tastes different and totally new! It's really grittier and more passionate… *munch munch* and I really dig the extra bass… I'll take a box!"
You speed home with your groceries and park yourself in front of the TV. You crack open the box of First Impressions of Earth and munch on it as The Simpsons come on. You're enjoying all the new flavours that were promised until you get past the top layer. Suddenly, all the new flavours disappear and it tastes exactly like the old Strokes! You feel a little ripped off, those jerks must have stacked the top layer with the new stuff and filled the rest of the box with their old product. To be fair, the old Strokes isn't bad, it's actually quite good. It still has all the signature intricate guitar and sleepy vocal flavours, but this just isn't the new and exciting taste that was promised in the single sample or from what you saw on TV.
Stand Out Tracks: You Only Live Once, Juicebox, Heart In A Cage, Evening Sun
The 411: “Well,” you think to yourself, “I might as well enjoy this since I bought the whole box.” You polish off the rest of the box and reminisce on The Strokes that you grew up enjoying. As you clean the crumbs off your hands, you still feel a little bitter that it didn’t taste all that different. Then again, just be thankful that the new Strokes in ’06 isn’t going to flop like the new Coke in ‘85.
