Poison - Hollyweird Review
Posted by Jodes Serner on 09.20.2002
As the old cliché states, “Its all been done before” and Poison has reached into their back catalogue for an uninspiring dose of glam rock as unfortunately, only they can deliver.
I, like many GenXer’s, was anxiously awaiting the new Poison disc, wondering if they could recapture the magic of their glory days. Would they have a monster ballad hit? Would it be filled with great kick ass “nothin’ but a good time” party rock? Or would it be another Bret Micheals “soul searching” theme a la Native Tongue? The answer, my friends, is “no” on all counts.
On “Hollyweird”, Poison can’t figure out if they are Glam, Grunge or Nu-Breed Alternative. Nothing they seem to do on the CD seems fresh. It most definitely won’t win them any new fans on any front. Only the die-hard Poison fans seemed to have bought it up, because it has only sold about 40 000 copies in the US.
There is a lot NOT to like on this CD.
It kicks off with the title track “Hollyweird” which sounds like a reject from the “Look What The Cat Dragged In” sessions. Aside from the typical Poison guitar intro, It’s lyrically filled with almost every bad cliché that’s out there: “Just call the pimp daddy, I’ll roll you one big fattie, I think you’re gonna like hanging with me”. Bret Micheals the lyrical genius strikes again. NOT! This tune would have stiffed in 87’ let alone in 02’.
As the old cliché states, “Its all been done before” and Poison has reached into their back catalogue for an uninspiring dose of glam rock as only they can deliver. Attack of the clones indeed! “Wasteland” is painfully reminiscent of “Ride The Wind” but falls flat in trying recapture the same essence. “Get Ya Some” is even more uninspiring, let’s be sleazy schlock rock in the vein of “Unskinny Bop”. “Shooting Star” and no, it’s not another cover version of the amazing Bad Company tune of the same name-is nothing more than a cheap attempt at regurgitating “Fallen Angel”. Finally, “Rockstar” is Poison’s way of telling us that they are better than everyone else: they can screw porno stars, do lots of drugs and can get away with shit because they are rich and famous. Sorry guys, maybe it would have worked for you in 1988, but your time has come and gone. Nobody cares anymore except for the 35-year-old cougars wanting to hear “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”. Hope you enjoyed the ride!
In “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “Living In The Now”, Poison changes gears to try and get the younger audiences. CC comes to bat on vocals. Really, CC does sing! For those of you that don’t know, CC Deville’s side band is a nu-breed, punk band called Samantha 7. They basically do 2 ½ minute punk songs, and these tunes would fit perfectly on a Samantha 7 CD, but not here. I’m pretty sure CC has it in his contract that if he can’t sing, he’s gone. Now honestly, would we really care anymore?
I am still trying to figure out why Poison did two versions of “Home”. Both songs could have very easily been left off the CD but could have been done live as “filler”. Do we really want to hear about Bret Micheals leaving his love spuds on some chick’s dress, or CC doing a lot of coke? I think not. I think we all got that message in 1990. No need to repeat it guys! Another message is clear as crystal from these songs: Punk and Poison don’t mix!
Now outside of the songs, I also have a real problem with the whole “sound” of the CD. The production is horrible! I’ve heard indie bands with better sound quality than this. Rikki Rocket said “We wanted a raw sound for the album” and, well, they kept their word to the very last note, because it sounds like it was done in someone’s garage. Unfortunately, we Poison fans don’t want raw, we want the polished sound they’re famous for! C’mon guys, are you that broke you couldn’t have gotten a decent producer? You at least owe your fans that!
Finally, where’s the BALLAD?
What do I like about the CD? Well there really isn’t that much!
What would a Poison album be without a cover song? This time around, it is a cover of the Who’s “Squeezebox”, in the past Poison has rocked up Loggins and Messina’s “Your Mamma Don’t Dance”, “Dr. Hook’s “Cover of the Rolling Stone”, with some varying degrees of success, and the same can be said for “Squeezebox”. This is one of the only tunes on the disc that gives a glimpse of the Poison of old. They are firing on all cylinders here. Not as good as the original, but light years ahead of their version of Kiss’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll All Night”.
Wishful Thinking is another track that harks back to the days of old, but surprisingly still remains one of the album’s better tunes. Although it has another “Girl goes to the city to make it big and ends up doing Porn” storyline, it does have an infectious melody and pre-chorus, and would probably work well live.
Devil Woman is another tune that stands out amongst the mediocrity. I wouldn’t be surprised if this tune was floating around during the “Crack A Smile and More” sessions. It could very easily fit on that album. It has a very raw, bluesy feel to it, along with a very strong chorus. The harmonica is a nice touch, too.
Usually there is one Poison song per CD that I can relate too, and, well, Stupid, Stoned and Dumb is that tune. Yes, it sounds like everything else they’ve done in the past, with a hint of “Cry Tough” thrown in, but it is Poison mocking themselves and pointing out how people have used them because they are famous, and their reaction to it. I give them credit for that. Also, it’s for anyone who’s had their heart broken or has been shit on one too many times. Because sometimes you just have to let loose and say “f*ck it”, with that fifth of Jack Daniels, cause if you let it get to you, it’s going to eat you alive.
The 411: This CD is definitely for the Poison die-hards, fans of their 1st CD and fans of CC’s Samantha 7. This album definitely strikes out: 1) Lack of originality of their songs, 2) No ballad, and 3) Horrible production values. Sad thing is, that it could have been so much more than it is. It definitely makes my list of “most disappointing releases of 2002”.
