Austrian Death Machine - Total Brutal Review

Posted by Dan Marsicano on 07.28.2008

As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis introduces his new side project, Austrian Death Machine. A collection of tracks involving classic Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes and movies, Lambesis is looking to bang heads and provide solid laughs along the way. Does Lambesis succeed on both accounts?

The Band

Tim Lambesis-All Instruments/Vocals


The Track Listing

1. Hello California-1:25
2. Get To The Choppa-2:47
3. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers-2:23
4. All Of The Songs Sound The Same-.13
5. I Am A Cybernetic Organism, Living Tissue Over (Metal) Endoskeleton-3:34
6. Come With Me If You Want To Live-3:48
7. What It’s Like To Be A Singer At Band Practice-1:18
8. Who Is Your Daddy, And What Does He Do?-3:12
9. You Have Just Been Erased-2:22
10. Broo-Tall Song Idea-.39
11. Here Is Subzero, Now Plain Zero-3:09
12. So Far, So Good, So Let’s Talk About It-.42
13. Screw You (Benny)-2:50
14. Why?-.25
15. If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It-3:43
16. It’s Not A Tumor-3:17
17. Not So Hidden Track-2:49





The Review

Austrian Death Machine is a side project from As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis. What Lambesis did was take famous quotes/movies from actor/governator of California Arnold Schwarzenegger and base a whole album around it. It’s nothing more than an extended joke to Lambesis and the lyrics only further add weight to the humor. While not approaching Tenacious D-level of greatness, Lambesis has crafted a metal album that is not only hysterical, but has the songs to back up what amounts to a one-note joke.

All you have to do is read the song titles to know the level of depth in the music. I could go on a 700 word explanation of what each song has to offer and the comparison between the accuracy of the song to the movie, but that would be pointless and a waste of time. Simply put, Total Brutal is 17 tracks, with about half of them being tracks with “Arnold” giving us inspirational words of advice and the other half being straight-up thrash metal.

The songs themselves are humorous and each one has a guitar solo, as hyped up in the press release I received with the album. What Lambesis does best is craft a song with at least one or two aspects that remains in the minds of the listener. Whether it’s a vocal line or a certain thrash breakdown, something will leave an impression on you, in a good way.

If I had to pick highlights from the album, there would be quite a few. “Get To The Choppa” and “If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It” are memorable because of their choruses, which repeat the song title over and over again ad nausea. The solos are fast and furious, with Lambesis using several guest guitarists, including producer/guitar extraordinaire Jason Suecof, Daath guitarists Eyal Levi and Emil Werstler, and Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz. Finally, Tim Lambesis’ vocal performance is solid, as he switches from a hardcore bark to a throaty growl, with brief instances of clean vocals (emphasis on brief).

The “joke” tracks, which feature “Arnold” talking about random things, is funny the first time, but like other comedy albums, they don’t hold up over time. Thankfully, Lambesis keeps most of them short so they don’t get too distracting. Taking those tracks off of the album, though, and there’s only about 30 minutes of actual music. While the 30 minutes on display are awesome, I would’ve wished for more content, especially considering the album ranges from $15-$20, unless you order it on ITunes.

I have my criticisms, but Total Brutal is one of the most original metal albums of the year. Mixing thrash metal with Arnold Schwarzenegger proves to be a winning combination and Lambesis shows that he knows how to put on the metal shoes from time to time. It’s great to see a metal musician make light of himself and of metal cliché’s in a genre full of darkness, depression, and plain anger towards everything and everybody. Total Brutal is an album for metal fans who want to laugh a little bit, while starting a circle pit in their living room.

The 411: Total Brutal is an album that knows what is it, a collection of brutally funny tracks, and succeeds on all fronts. You won't get any "classic" tracks or anything to indicate that you are listening to a future masterpiece, but the songs are catchy, humorous, and kick your ass at every turn. The only criticism I have is towards the "joke" tracks, as they are too frequent and aren't that funny. More material and less emphasis on Arnold impersonations would've benefitted the album, but the songs themselves are strong enough for me to give a recommendation.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]