Pussycat Dolls – PCD Review
Posted by Michael Melchor on 09.23.2005
Trite. Pop. Crap.
I’m going to try to be fair here. I really am. It’s tough to do, though, when I immediately open the CD cover and see an ad placard for lead singer Nicole’s “Don’t Cha” hoodie as well as Pussycat Dolls wallpaper, ringtones, and “lots of other PCD gear” at pussycatdolls.com.
What that tells me is that this is much less about music and more about marketing. An excuse to show off some decent (at BEST) looking chicks to make some record company some money.
Actually that’s only partly correct, for the girls didn’t start out as musicians. Their bio from AMG tells a semi-interesting story:
Founded by choreographer Robin Antin in 1995, the Pussycat Dolls began as a burlesque dance revue based in Los Angeles, spawned a second revue in Las Vegas, grew into an A-list phenomena with a revolving cast of guest celebrities, and eventually became a recording act with a number one dance hit. It wasn't long after launching its revue that the troupe began attracting actresses and models who wanted to become a Pussycat Doll for a night. Christina Aguilera, Pamela Anderson, Kelly Osbourne, Pink, Britney Spears, Carmen Electra, and Gwen Stefani are just some of the names that donned lingerie and pin-up costumes and joined the Dolls for their flirtatious shows. An appearance in the 2003 film Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle was followed by numerous television appearances, most with Carmen Electra. Capitalizing on the nationwide attention and the addition of former Eden's Crush member Nicole Scherzinger as lead singer, the single "Don't Cha" with special guest Busta Rhymes appeared at the beginning of 2005 and climbed to number two on the pop chart, number one on the dance chart. With help from the Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am and producer Timbaland, the Pussycat Dolls recorded their full-length debut. The A&M label released PCD in the summer of 2005.
So, we have a singer from a failed pop group spawned by a WB reality show, several producers and writers, and a group that has no business singing in the first place.
Yeah. This oughtta be great.
PCD starts with the obvious choice – the girls’—
Let me stop there a moment. According to the liner notes and credits, ALL vocals – backing and lead – are credited to Nicole. Essentially, the Pussycat Dolls are one singer and five sexpot back-up dancers. Strike one.
Back to business, the album starts with “Don’t Cha”, the Doll’s first smash single. All the easier for the kids to find it off the bat and ignore the rest of the album. Little do they know they may be doing themselves a favor.
The two tracks after that – “Beep” (named such because half the song is “edited” so’s to cover up any bad words and leave the subject of staring at a girl’s tits to the imagination) and “Wait A Minute” – keep the dance beats going. Had they stuck with this, the album might have had a chance; Nicole keeps up gamely with the beats produced by Timbaland and others. As a straight dance album, PCD could have been halfway decent.
Instead, some moron decided to write them a couple slow jams as well, such as “Stickwitu” which espouses not only bad spelling but the joys of monogamy – going against the Doll’s entire image. Strike two.
“Buttons” goes back to the dancing, as does a surprisingly catchy interpolation of old-school Donna Summer on “Hot Stuff (I Want You Back)”. Once again, though, the Doll contradicts themsel—excuse me, herself. The first few songs scream how confident and sexy they are, but, again, they sing of monogamy, and wanting a guy back. Compared to the message of “Don’t Cha”, it seems they can’t make up their minds.
And I’m sorry, but a song entitled “I Don’t Need A Man” screams hilarity when their entire act is geared toward gaining the attention of men.
Aside from “Hot Stuff”, another song covered from days gone by is “Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go”. A good choice in covers is not only ruined but is a perfect summary of the Doll’s desire to stretch themselves (no pun intended) to please everyone. Marc Almond took two songs and combined into not only a great dance tune, but an earnest message of love gone wrong but how and why it did so.
In the Doll’s hands, it’s another dance tune sung with all the feeling of dried cabbage. It’s also the penultimate indication of how willing they are to state that they can do without a man, but then beg for him back. Strike three.
And for the record, no, I don’t wish my wife was cool, hot, raw, or “a freak” like you. I’m quite happy with what I have because, frankly, I can guarantee she outclasses you in all of those areas, you dumb whore.
The 411: Albums like this piss me off. The Pussycat Dolls can’t even be compared to the Spice Girls; at least they were in it for the music (as bad as it was). PCD is merely an exercise in why people who make their trade in other fields have no fucking business being in music whatsoever. All the star producers and writers in the world can’t hide the fact that PCD is a blatant cash grab trying to play on the idea of sex but reaching outside its bounds into a downright horrible pop record. A few tracks are worth downloading, but the disc itself...well, it makes a great coaster...or a reason to do the old “microwave experiment” for those that never have before...
