Crank It Up To Eleven! 04.07.08: When Music and Pro-Wrestling Pairs Off

Posted by Sandeep Murali on 04.07.2009

It's Wrestlemania time, which means that we take a break from the usual and attempt to answer a question not many asked: "What rock/metal band best identifies with the WWE main eventers"?





Hello there folks and welcome back to my show. Well, wrestling is in the air and by the time you get to read this column, Wrestlemania would be over and done with. Still, it won't hurt to have yet another column bridging the gap between the two zones, I guess. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting: "Crank it up to 11: This wrestler is this rock/ metal band" edition. Grab a cold beverage and sit back, if you will...

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Talk dirty to me:

Last week's column on the pathbreaking Bon Jovi album invited a few replies from the readers:


Cathy says: "
Great article. I have felt the same about These Days for years. It is one of those albums that flows from beginning to end and every song is great. The lyrics on this album are incredible. My Guitar Lies Bleeding In My Arms - to say it is awesome just isn't enough. Thanks for the article."


It has been my pleasure, Cathy. Somehow, I knew I wasn't the only one who understood the greatness of this album. Thanks for reading.


Alex Leaves me bamboozled with: "if you hate "dry county" you don't understand anything about "music", probably you are one these people that likes of one especifc album (in ur case, these days), these days is a good album, but, just it, anything else...


Now how in the world did you deduce that I hated "Dry county", Alex? I'd suggest that you go back and read the column one more time. My opinion on the song was quite the opposite, actually. Take it from one of the biggest Bon Jovi fans around.


Bounce442 says: "I was a fan of Bon Jovi but These Days took me to a whole new level. My favorite album to date and you are right, it hasn't aged a day. Great article. It is good to know others see the brilliance of the "90s" Bon Jovi".


Indeed. Bon Jovi in the 90's was one solid band and made some quality music that has stood the test of time well.



Bouquets, brickbats, whatever you got; throw ‘em this way. It's all good.

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How do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder?:

I dunno, you should ask some of these guys. They have the thankless job of busting their asses day in and day out to entertain you, only to be subject to armchair internet criticism for every action of theirs. Much like rock bands, perhaps? That's an interesting parallel to draw and this prompted me to look at some of the big names that are headlining Wrestlemania and trying to discover the rock/ metal band that resembles them the closest . Without further ado, here it is:

The Hardy Boyz : Pantera

I bunched Matt and Jeff together as one entry because the high flying brothers made their name in the business as a team and their singles careers at this point is relatively short compared to their tag career. Now what band(s) does that remind you of? Pantera/ Damageplan/ Down of course! Much like the pioneers of groove metal, the Hardys's career started out in "Glam"orous fashion. But somewhere down the line, they re-invented themselves. The brothers (and the band) became more edgy, more gritty and in the process, ceased to be yet another cookie cutter effort that resembled tonnes of others in the industry. Both the Hardys and Pantera found their niche with this transformation and became forces to be reckoned with in the industry.


Fast forward a few years in the respective timelines and both the Hardys and Pantera went through breakups. While the former one was of course, part of showbiz, the latter one was way more messy and (indirectly) ended up in the death of one Dimebag Darrell. Let's hope the Hardy breakup would have a happier ending and hopefully would result in cementing their places as main eventers.


Pantera performs -The Hardy Boyz entrance theme at Wrestlemania: "Cowboys from hell". What else?

Edge : Guns 'n Roses

Put it simply, both names are synonyms for controversy, on an off the stage. Both are entities that appeal to the rebellious amongst you . Neither is as extreme as some of their contemporaries but at the same time, have done things a family would not approve of. The rated R superstar has gone through some serious drama that had the potential to cut his career short (The Lita controversy) because of the bad taste it brought to the table, and so have G'nR (Numerous fights, the breakup). Yet, both have risen from the ashes like a phoenix. (I can sense the new G'nR hate from a mile away, btw). Speaking of hatorade, both Edge and the new G'nR (or Axl Rose, if you may) seems to generate this by the bucketloads. This may seem like a bad thing, but that is only until you read the next entry. Face it, this kind of hatred is good for business, folks.


G'nR performs – Edge's entrance theme at Wrestlemania: With all the woman trouble that Mr. Copeland has recently been going though, "Back off bitch" seems apt, no?

The Big Show : Coldplay

Both are the biggest names on the planet in their respective trades right now. Yes, both are big. And slow. And bland in general. Both are light years away from doing anything pathbreaking, yet for unexplained reasons, are money making machines. Technically, there is nothing wrong with show's in ring skills, nor with Coldplay's music, but anyone with basic knowledge of pro wrestling and rock music will tell you without blinking that several others do it better. Much better. The purists/ arm chair critics on either side of course, hate on both with passion. Lastly, both the Big Show and Coldplay tend to get forgotten in the larger scheme of things even when they have the numerical stats on their side. Which is why THIS kind of hatred is not really good for them.


I'm semi kidding of course. Paul Wight can pull off a mean (literally) Santa and has more charisma in his not-so-little toenail than Chris Martin and co. can ever hope to achieve.


Coldplay performs – The Big Show entrance theme at Wrestlemania: I dunno, that slow Coldplay song where Chris Martin stairs at the camera and squirms through the lyrics unblinking?

John Cena : U2

Ah, the clean cut- do good duo that people just love to bite the heads of! Both John Cena and U2 (Or Bono, if you may) personify the "Don't worry, I'll save the world!" attitude like no other in the business and get immense backlash for the same. Grown men in particular have a serious aversion to either name. Yet, if one closely examines their careers, they're both as solid as they come. U2 have had a long illustrious career and Cena can be safely assumed to have one. They are both locks for the respective Halls of fame some time in the future.


Ok, so I admit: The Vanilla Ice comparo was almost too good to resist, but I promised myself that this article would be limited to rock/ metal bands.


U2 Performs – John Cena's entrance theme at Wrestlemania: "One". Because this song is pretty much the epitome of do-good and therefore, guaranteed to deliver a polarizing reaction. U2/ John Cena thrive on those, don't they?

The Undertaker : Metallica

When the Undertaker character debuted in the WWF, no one had quite seen something like that before. He was quite anti-social, yet people LOVED the character and his rise in popularity was meteoric. Very similar to Metallica's debut with Kill 'em all. Undertaker in the beginning was unpolished in the ring, yet had an intensity that was unmatched. But soon, he started adding weapons to his arsenal and evolved his wrestling style. Again, very much like how Metallica evolved their sound with each upcoming album. Both Taker and Metallica have pinnacles in their careers that will be talked about for ages to come. Namely, The ministry of darkness/ Master of puppets. At the same time, both went through a period in their careers where they did the polar opposite of everything they had done prior to that: The american badass era Taker/ Load-Reload era Metallica. While purist fans hated both for these moves, there were quite a few appreciated the variety this brought to the table. Fast forward to now and both the wrestler and the band are enjoying a revitalized spur in their careers. Like good wine, they are (arguably) getting better with age.


Metallica performs - The Undertaker's theme at Wrestlemania: "For whom the bell tolls". Dude, I didn't have to think for even two seconds to come up with that one!

Triple H : Motorhead

Ok, so who didn't see that coming? But let me assure you, there's more to this comparison than the H's entrance theme. Neither the wrestler nor the band are the best in their respective trade technically, but have that "Something" in them that assures that they will be remembered a long time after they're gone. Both have been in the industry for a long time now and weathered changing trends that have cut many a career short. Triple H via Sledgey and Motorhead via the SOB called Lemmy Kilmister are among the top names to be brought up whenever the words "badass motherf*cker" are brought up within the context of wrestling and heavy metal. Perhaps these similarities may be the reason why the Triple H entrance theme is one of the most popular ones in WWE history. It just fits him like a glove.


Motorhead performs – Triple H's entrance theme at Wrestlemania: Well, we don't have to fantasize on this one, folks.

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Never say goodbye:

Well, that's all I got for now folks. Do you agree/ disagree with these choices? Or do you have more wrestler/ band pairs in mind? Leave the comments in the usual place.



Rock on and see y'all next Tuesday.