Pop Culture Locket 10.09.02: Fabolous Is Not Fabulous
Posted by Iago Ali on 10.09.2002
A lot of folks dig Fabolous. Iago does not. This week, he'll give you one example why—line by line. Get a firsthand glimpse at the effects of a New York University education up close.
What I Got In Yo Locket
1. The Jump-Off: You All Hate Freakboy Too!
2. In Related News: Something Less Than Fabulous—A Critical Analysis
3. And In Closing: "Only Time You Seen Jail is When You Watching Oz"
We got a big old column to run-through toady, full of reader mail, praise for the greatest television show I've ever seen, and an unwarranted, overly scholastic riff on the lyrical skills of F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S.
Let's begin.
The Jump-Off: You All Hate Freakboy Too!
DISCLAIMER: None of the people mentioned in this column, least of all me, actually hate the columnists known as Freakboy. No Freakboys were harmed in the writing of this column. In reality, Freakboy is a kind and gentle soul, and a talented writer, who loves children and old people, as well as puppies and sunflowers. He just happens to always be wrong about everything.
Last week's columngot some of you nice and riled up, and riled up readers are always a writer's best friend. One of the first responses I got came from William Crain, who had this to add to our digging in the crates discussion:
I think the big problem regarding the lost art of crate-digging is that it's being dragged through the mud by those who don't change up the original backbeats at all, i.e. Irv "This is a new, original beat because I added a token flute" Gotti. Maybe Freakboy would be better served by listening to anything from El-P, Prince Paul, or pretty much everything [Dan The] Automator's ever done from Dr. Octagon onwards.
This was a common theme in your responses: there are a ton of non-mainstream producers out there who are creating amazing music from samples. I'll come back to this in a second, but first, more from WC (minus the Mad Circle):
One more thing, am I the only one who's at least slightly peeved at people who diss hip-hop and sampling and then go back home to hug their Gorillaz CD?
It's not just Gorillaz either—it's Linkin Park and Kid Rock. It's tons of dance music these days. It's that new reissue of Elvis's "A Little More Conversation." Hip-hop is an unavoidable facet of American (and increasingly world) music. Yeah, there's lots of terrible stuff out there, but I find it hard to believe that anyone who digs popular music would have an absolute distaste for the entire form.
Next on the reader feedback mike is the mono-monikered Nelvis:
I'm really digging you column, but what the hell is Freakboy talking about? There's more producers who are out there and are better than Puffy, like Just Blaze, Kanye West, Neptunes, Timbaland, Alchemist, DJ Premier, Battle Cat, Necro, Havoc of Mobb Deep, Swizz Beatz, Ty Fyffe, Lil Jon, Jazze Pha, Babu, and Mannie Fresh to name a few.
Freakboy would agree with you on Puffy's relative talents—I think we all would. I'm actually a fan of Diddy's. He's a great entertainer. His company makes fun dance music. Is he original? No way. Does he claim to be? No. Is he the best possible representative of the Hip-Hop Nation? Do I have to even answer that one?
And again, the list of really talented producers is long—thanks for shouting a lot of them out, Nelvis.
And thanks to all of you for your feedback. I'll be including as much of it as humanly possible in each upcoming edition of Da Locket, so keep it coming.
In Related News: Something Less Than Fabulous—A Critical Analysis
Got another e-mail the other day…this one from my buddy Sting7:
I know you say you're not that impressed with Fab, but this bit shows the boy has talent! Superior rhyming ability than that headcase, MnM, IMO.
The "Fab" in question is of course the rapper known as Fabolous, and the "this bit" in question is Fab's verse from the current hit "Trade It All." The MnM in question is um…well, Eminem. While I wouldn't call myself an Eminem fan, I respect his skills, and I'm sure that he's more talented than Fab.
I just don't feel Mr. Olous. I mean, if I hear him while I'm driving, I'll keep the station on...sometimes. But as a matter of taste, he doesn't do it for me, although I dig his last line in the "Oops Oh My" remix: "Oops, there goes my kids all over your face." That's the fun, kinda fucked up sense of humor that lots of good MCs have.
As for this verse...I could play poetry student and dissect it and tell you what I really end up thinking about it, but who wants that? Aw hell, let's do it anyway! (I don't have a column for this week yet...)
(And keep in mind that I hate doing this for hip-hop songs, becaue so much depends on the flow and the way the guy says it. I mean, read Missy Elliott or Busta Bust rhymes sometimes--they suck if you don't hear the voice. Tupac is maybe the best example--that boy was 3 percent poet, 97 percent charisma.)
(The other reason I hate this kind of analysis is because it makes me feel like a big geek. Music is made to be enjoyed, not ripped apart. But I have a column to write, so here we go. This is a line by line analysis, with the lines indicated by one of these: >. My comments will follow.)
>"Hot storm, I’m so into you
Standard opening--very boy band/high school love. Inoffensive--just the opening. You can do great things with opening lines, especially if you're Rakim ("I met her on the subway on my way to Brooklyn/hello good lookin'/is this seat tooken?"), but it's not essential.
>‘Cause even before we hit the bedroom I was friends with you
Rhyming the same word always loses points. It's like the worst Beastie Boy rhyme ever: "everybody rapping like it's a commercial/acting like life is a big commercial." But he is saying something (we were friends before lovers), so that works to his advantage.
>If they ask, I ain’t gotta say who in them interviews
Pretty good rhyme--actually three syllables (with "into you"). Plus he's again actually making a point, both about his girl and the media. Solid line.
>My sweet thing never believe them rumors that been true
"Been true" works kinda well with "interview" and "into you." The sentence doesn't make much sense. As written, he's telling her not to believe the true rumors.
>In fact I had no more expense, it’s true
Same word rhyme again--but I'm detecting a pattern. Not sure the line makes much sense, but I could be missing the meaning.
>But you was wifey could change me into a groom in a mintue boo
Boo is always an easy way out--it's like "G" or "hun" or "ma"--one-syllable words that make any line rhyme. The play on wifey to get to groom is kinda nice--not amazing, but kinda nice. Subtle.
>Maybe my sense of humor gets into you
"Into you" again. Good internal rhyme with sense back up to expense--that's a flow thing. A good MC hits that.
>But girl, they can make a perfume from the scent of you
Almost cheesy grade-school poetry line that a good flow can make work.
"Perfume" sounds good with all the "ooo" sounds. Uses "you" again to make it rhyme though. Not a bad line, all in all.
>I wanna take you there, feel like June in December too
Take you where? To the perfume factory? ;) "Take you there" is slangy
enough that it's not really an issue. Could be way more descriptive. Hits "June" again as an internal rhyme, and plays it off December well. Three syllable words are hard to fit into lines--he does it okay here. "Too" is another cop-out rhyme, but it's a different one than the ones he's been using at least.
>So what you think about Cancun till the winter through?
Personally, I'd have flipped this before the last line--then the "I'll take you there" has double meaning. Again, internal rhyme with "Cancun." This is probably my favorite line so far, just cause it's more evocative--mentioning a place conjurs up imagery for you. Could nitpick and say that "Cancun in the winter" and "June in December" are the same idea, but that's not really a major issue.
>I don’t know what other consumers do
"Consumers" hits the internal rhyme--he found a groove. Could go Marxist and riff on the materialistic turn, but that's an ethical discussion, not a poetic one. Kind of still working off the previous thought, which is always nice. Decent enough transition line.
>I'd pick a day and time to go to Bloomies and spend with you
More "ooos" in "Bloomies." "Spend with you" in theory goes back to "into you," but you can't drop in and out of three syllable rhymes like that and impress me. Either you're rhyming "interview" or you're rhyming "view."
>Like any other man I will zoom to the clinic too
"Zoom" goes internal. Looking back, I'm realizing that he has an "ooo" sound in almost every line—he's doing something more complicated than I thought. Taking it to the clinic is unexpected--gets semi-seriousminded after the Bloomies talk. Transition is jarring, but the idea is solid.
>Now I wanna see if me and my junior’s identical
Best line in the song. "Identical" is one of those words that doesn't
really rhyme with the pattern he's working in, but a good MC can stretch to make fit (identi-coo)--and it ends up sort of being a three syllable rhyme (or at least a sound-alike). "Junior" goes internal. Junior is a really good word choice. Strong line.
>I zoom, put a moon on the skin of you
Two internal rhymes (even if he's using zoom twice)--but what does the line mean? Only moon I'm familiar with that he could put on her skin is his ass. A tattoo maybe? I'm sure I missed something slangy here.
>I swear to everything that same afternoon, we'll begin to move
Another good line--internal rhyme, and a nice turn of phrase--could have said "that same afternoon, I'll move in with you," but he played for a much smarter rhyme. Solid way to end the verse.
>Feel me"
If he was on Murder Inc, he would have said "Holla."
All in all, it's definitely not terrible. He pulls off a verselong rhyme (just rhyming one sound), even if he does it with the easiest one syllable to rhyme in the english language, and even if he repeats himself a lot. He hits the internal rhyme groove pretty consistently throughout. And he's sort of saying something, even if it is a
love song. On the negative side, it's very simplistic, with lots of
repitition and weak transitions.
And he didn't spell his name or mention weed. Shocking.
With something like this, it comes down to flow and personal preference. I just don't dig Fab's style--sounds like Mase with a swollen tongue. He's got some skills and a ton of potential, I'll admit, but I think it's crazy to say he's better than Em as a wordsmith.
I mean, yeah, Em's fucking crazy, and he's not what he used to be (after only three albums), but Em at his best (on "Renegade" or "Kill You" for example) blows Fab out of the water. Em at his less then best is probably better than most Fab too, at this point at least. I'll analyze an Em track at some point, just to give y'all an idea of why I respect his stuff.
In fact, I'll do any song any of you suckas give me. I don't really do this often, but it helps me learn about writing and writers, so I'm down. You know who we should do? Biggie. Damn--when you break Biggie down, it gets AMAZING.
In conclusion, Sting is wrong, but not as wrong as Freakboy usually is. (All right, I'm laying off him now. I promise.)
And In Closing: "Only Time You Seen Jail is When You Watching Oz"
Me and babygirl have been watching Season 1 of Oz over the last week or so. It is quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen on television. It's a stage play in film form, using the small screen to its best advantage. Man, I could go on about this for hours, but this column is already too long.
I just wanted to say that I love that damn show.
And oh yeah—if you have any idea how I can get my hands on tapes of Seasons 2 through whatever they're up to, please let me know: the e-mail address is, as always, iagoali@hotmail.com.
Next week, more adventures on the high seas. Or something. I don't know. I'll come up with something. Eventually. This is the worst final paragraph I've ever written.
My name is Iago Ali, and yeah, I got yo locket, sucka.
