The Good, Bad, And Ugly 10.20.02: The RIAA Is The WWE!
Posted by Cody Webster on 10.20.2002
Bon Jovi can't beat a dead man, Britney Spears is Hitler, Scott Stapp goes to prison and gets rear ended, and more!
The best way to share things is through a more popular topic. Face it, this is a wrestling website, this music section is a branch out from what people usually come here to see. Thus, in this mini column (Really a column within a column) want to prove how the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) is in the same shoes as the WWE.
Michael Jackson is upset at how his newest record was handled, Stone Cold Steve Austin is upset at how is character was handled. Jackson's record is said to be a step down for him, Austin's ring work and actions are said to be poor. Now here is where it gets creepy. Austin beats wife Debra, Jackson is rumored to have had beaten bubbles.
The Attitude Era takes a huge blow, The teeny pop era takes a huge blow.
Stephanie McMahon has a whiny voice, Britney Spears has an annoying voice. Stephanie started the WWE as an innocent girl getting married to Test, Britney started her music career as a virgin. Stephanie returns to the WWE advanced in the chest area and his found out be fake by Jericho, Britney is rumored to have fake boobies to this day. And here is the big kicker: Stephy-poo is first seen on RAW on the 11/30/98 show, Britney Spear's first song Baby Hit Me One More Time came out (The song was number one in the US in November 1998).
Britney is currently on hiatus. Take a cue Stephanie.
Then you got HHH and Justin Timberlake.
For starters both have been outed on the Radio for anal and oral sex stories. HHH left DX to become a super star, Justin Timberlake is on the verge of leaving N*SYNC to pursue a solo career. HHH dates someone who has important connections in his place of work, Justin Timberlake dated someone who gave his star some badly needed gusto.
Both have crawled the jaded path to get to the top, and soon someone will sneak up from behind and push them off.
RAW is like the artist who support the RIAA. Still set in the ways of brawling and teeny pop, even though both are out dated. Then Smackdown! is like the artist who want to coexist with online music, and most of them are open minded with different genres and wrestling styles. In the end the real problem is the fact it is the end of an era. Who will step up and lead as away from this Disco lite teeny pop era, no one knows.
It could be Brat Rock (Freakyboy coined phrase), Nu-metal, Hip-hop, punk rock, pop rock, or a new kind of pop (probably).
Before I dive and thrash into the music news I got one more comparison.
In a time RAW was in dire need of attetion and ratings they had HLA (Hot Lesbian Action). It did nothing to change the ratings and just gave them a black eye with the network. With record sells slipping and everyone on hiatus a pop group (t.A.T.u.) made of two lesbians came from Russia to spice things up. The band t.A.T.u. has seems to have HLA. I got this one picture of them hugging in teddies (night gowns). Rather it will work or not has yet to be seen.
Maybe next week I'll compare Dawn Marie's thick ass to the Cuban Crisis. God bless camera men with bad timing.
Yonder to thee news!
Good:
-Bon Jovi VS. Elvis. Bounce is expected to debut in the upper regions of the Billboard 200 on Wednesday (October 16). Bon Jovi had this to say: "You know I'm anxious to see how it's going down. Obviously it's being well received everywhere else. And right now from what I'm hearing we're neck-and-neck with the King right now." Is it just me or is it sad when you're competing with a dead man, a dead man who has been leading the charts for 2 weeks now and is losing momentum. I find the idea of Bon Jovi not impaling himself on Ally Mceatafuckinmeal during sex the better challenge of the two. I sure hope Freakboy doesn't read this shit. 8)
Update: Elvis wins again. Who's next?
-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake has signed Marilyn Manson to do their soundtrack. Hopefully the remake will be better than Time Machine's and Psycho's piss poor attempts. Nonetheless, Manson is a perfect choice for a disturbing horror flick, so they have that in their favor.
-This past summer, the Rascalz had a CD release party that was quite different. The hip-hop group held their release party for "Reloaded" at The Docks in Toronto, featuring a celebrity basketball game, go-carts, and a concert. Oddly enough Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Eddie Guerrero, and Dean Malenko were no where to be seen.
-The Devil did it! Scott Stapp of Creed has had it tough this week. He has acute laryngitis and got rear ended in a car accident, but that didn't keep him from playing Alcatraz Island in San Francisco. Hate or love him he's a true pro, and he's going to make up any tour dates he misses. What a trooper.
-The following will be doing songs for the second Matrix movie ("Matrix Reloaded") soundtrack: Linkin Park, System of a Down, Disturbed, Deftones, Prodigy and former Rage Against the Machine vocalist Zack de la Rocha. Looks like the artist booked for the annual WWE CD. Which is pretty good, for those keeping track.
Bad:
-Reel Big Fish's tour bus caught fire a few nights ago for unknown reasons. Speculation leads one to think someone left the iron on, those crazy kids. In other news: Kenny G started a wild forest fire when he had an impromptu orgy with 162 women, some guys have all the luck. Ever hear of gel, G-Dawg?
-Tamyra Signs With MCA. Doesn't it defeat the whole purpose of having a winner when others get the same award (a recording contract) and better? It makes the game it self weak, and that's a bad thing. Maybe American Idol should just change to a star search type thing. They find the future singers and have them showcased for record labels to bid on them.
Sad:
-Ryan Adams (country singer) was screamed to play "Summer of 69" at a recent Nashville show. Which of course was made famous by BRYAN Adams. Story goes he got upset and started cussing, then he gave the fan 30 bucks to leave. Sources say this isn't the first time this has happen. It could be a scripted Andy Koufman lite deal or he's a really mean and stupid man. Funny note: The club's owner let the guy back in and he didn't even have to give the money back. This guy is either a creative man who likes to evoke different emotions from people, or just another stupid red neck singer.
-The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) recently sent a letter to over 2,300 colleges asking the institutions to help stop online file sharing. They also want the college to punish the kids that do have music and movies on their computers. What's next? Renting some type of army of rebels to act like Nazis? All they need now is Britney Spears to grow one of those square patch mustaches. Hell, maybe they can just transplant her square patch of pubic hair onto her upper lip, right Justin. "Kids! grab the laptop and lock yourself in the bomb shelter, their coming!" - Will be the cry of the land. Bastards.
Until next week,
Credit: 411 Music (AKA Adam "da man" Cankaya), Andpop.com, and Curlio.com.
