The Raw Addict 5.24.09: Joe Budden is an Idiot

Posted by Phil Watts, Jr on 05.24.2009

“Who cares of this Melle-Mel guy helped to bring Hip-Hop worldwide? When’s the last time Method Man was RELEVENT? WHAT DO THEY HAVE OVER MEEEEEE?!”

"RELEVENT…"


That is one word I am beginning to HATE with a passion.


Every day you hear people talk about relevance, like who's relevant, what artists do to stay relevant, who's irrelevant. Yet, more and more, I find that the people who determine relevance are, at best, some of the most FICKLE people on the planet, and at worst, some of the dumbest fucks on the planet. I know some people will think, "Isn't saying that a bit much?" No. It isn't. I've been hearing this argument about relevance for years, and it seems that you have different people on the "relevant" list every few months, hence the ‘fickle' part.


Remember when Master P and his No Limit Soldiers were considered RELEVENT? You remember them, don't you? The man who went on records sounding like a constipated moron? The man who gave us such luminaries such as Silkk The Shocker, C-Murder, Kane & Abel, Lil Romeo, the Lil' Soldiers, Mercedes, and the 504 Boyz? Remember when they made a HUGE DEAL out of Snoop Dogg leaving Death Row to join them? The man who made it HOT-HOT-HOT to load your CD's up with 20-40 songs with only 1 or 2 of them being notable? The man who gave us Beats By The Pound, perhaps the SHITTIEST team of rap producers known to man?


Yes, people…there was once a time when all of that was considered RELEVENT!!


"But---but---they're not RELEVENT anymore!"


EXACTLY. They're not. And since there's always a slew of shit rappers that pop up every few months to take their spot on the RELEVENT list (as well as another slew of shit rappers to replace them…and another to replace them…and another to replace them…etc.), then why should I EVER take stock in what today's culture sees as relevant? Why should I ever listen to them when they tell me that some of my favorite artists are IRRELEVENT?


Remember this little bit of RELEVENCE:


"SIPPIN' ON SOME SIZZZYRUP!"


Remember when different versions of this song was played all over the radio? The song that taught everyone that it's cool to sip on COUGH SYRUP. Now common sense would tell you that abusing shit like cough syrup is absolutely STUPID. Of course, you couldn't tell these morons that…or you'll be met with the usual "Y U HATIN'?!?!?" mantra that they always give you. The sickening part about this? It took the deaths of two people to convince these stupid fucks that this SIIIIZZZYRUP shit is incredibly stupid. And remember---these are the people who decide what is or isn't RELEVENT!!


One name that always comes up when it comes to artists who are IRRELEVENT is KRS-One. Now I admit, it has been a long bumpy road as far as Kris Parker's career goes, as most of his KOCH material left me and a lot of people cold (not to mention all that TEMPLE OF HIP-HOP bullshit--he definitely lost a lot of people there). But I will say that even though it will take a lot for him to ever match up with his 80's/early 90's material, his last few projects (LIFE and the Marley Marl colab) do show him on the right path. And trust me---if I ever stop listening to KRS, it will be because *I* stop caring about him, not because some stupid fuck who thinks it's cool to guzzle COUGH SYRUP tells me to stop caring!


This makes me glad to have someone like SOULJA BOY around. Because he's the perfect representative for these morons.


**************


Just recently, the hacks at VIBE Magazine gave us yet another Top Rappers of ALL TIME list that these publications love to serve us. However, because they didn't have the testicular fortitude to do the list themselves, they just simply threw random names out there, put them in brackets like in basketball (the only interesting thing about it), and let fans vote on it so they can skirt editorial accountability and just say "THE FANS VOTED ON IT" if anyone had a problem with it. Considering my opening spiel on RELEVENCE above, you could imagine how much of a complete mess the whole list is. With this being VIBE MAGAZINE (even the SOURCE Magazine under Benzino's reign of terror had more credibility than Vibe), and the fact that you could find similar lists all over every internet message board FOR FREE, I couldn't imagine any artist sweating it.


Enter JOE BUDDEN.


Mr. Budden exposes himself as a true HERB whining over this list, going through names and talking about who he can rap circles around. He seems to forget that 1) this is supposed to be an ALL TIME list, not a WHO HOT-HOT-HOT NOW list (even though a lot of the names in the brackets don't need to be there), and 2) considering that KRS One and Rakim have been left out of the list, Budden should be GRATEFUL that he's in there at all!


However, Joey REALLY steps in it when he calls out both Method Man and Grandmaster Melle Mel. Joey's attitude is pretty much, "yeah, they're old heads, but they're not HOT-HOT-HOT right NOW, so not only don't they deserve to be in this list, but I can rap circles around them." All this over a poorly done Vibe Magazine list (even though I'm very surprised that Mel's name is in it).


As Melle Mel explains, his name is already etched in stone. He doesn't need a list to validate him because his accomplishments speak for itself. The same goes for Method Man, with him being one of the people who drew everyone to the WuTang Clan. Sadly for Joe, he can't say the same, which is not only why he needs a list to validate him, but also a reason why he's pissed that both of them are placed above him. Joe keeps mistakenly thinking this list is about who's the most RELEVENT (ugh---that word again) RIGHT NOW, even though current relevance wasn't in the criteria.


The thing is, even with those standards--being "is he (ugh--) RELEVENT RIGHT NOW", Joe Budden should still be grateful that he's on the list. After all, when was the last time Budden MATTERED? Answer: 7 YEARS AGO, when he came out with "Pump It Up". The shitloads of mixtapes that he's released since then have done little to keep a lot of people from seeing him as nothing but a ONE-HIT WONDER. It's become overwhelmingly obvious that he needs some publicity to promote his latest album, PADDED ROOM, so he's resorted to the tiresome tactic of PROCESSED BEEF, first going at Saigon (remember?) and now not only calling Mel irrelevant, but threatening to cut Meth's neck off in a battle.


Let's say that Joe does get to battle Method Man. And let's say that Joe so happens to WIN that battle.


Do any of you remember a rapper by the name of BOOGIEMAN?


…no?


Didn't think so.


Anyway, Boogieman was a battle rapper who thought he could build up his profile by snuffing out an old head. In this case, it's MASTA ACE. And you know what? Boogieman WON that battle…so that should've meant bigger and better things for him, right? Wrong. Despite the victory, no one has heard from Boogieman since then. Meanwhile, Ace has released some solid albums afterward, and his place in history (the Juice Crew, the SLAUGHTAHOUSE album, etc.) is still intact. Boogieman has no single, no album, no mixtape, no profile, no nothing! That victory was his only career highlight, but in the long run, it meant absolutely nothing.


My prediction: Joe will run lyrical rings around Method Man, doing cartwheels, somersaults, backflips, and all that shit. But once the battles over and they hand him the belt, Joe will end up right back to where he was before this VIBE list came out--with a floundering album, hardly any prospects, and with the general public still seeing him as nothing but a ONE HIT WONDER.


"Instead of battling me, you need to plan your longevity…before you die broke like SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!" (--from a legendary rapper who's NOT on the Vibe list.)