Under the Scalpel 06.04.09: Ida Maria, Tech N9ne, 311, Slipknot & more

Posted by Mark Ingoldsby on 06.04.2009

Ida Maria sits around in her underwear for three days without showering to write songs, Tech N9ne recruits Chino XL and Crooked I to explain what it takes to be a hardcore MC, 311 offers a dull pop song, Slipknot learns to be happy, and more. These biased reviews are proudly brought to you by the sometimes humorous, always heartless guitarist of the hard rock band that hits the studio this Sunday – A Simple Complex.

"Under the Scalpel: Dissecting Pop Culture One Song at a Time" is a weekly column written by Mark Ingoldsby, songwriter and guitarist for the hard rock band A Simple Complex. Download three free tracks that will rock your panties off at www.asimplecomplex.com

Ida Maria – "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked"
I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together

Joan Jett on happy pills? Blondie with her amp volume on 11? The Pretenders at 78 RPM? And for those of you who need a more modern reference... The Ting Tings trying to go punk?

Scandinavian songwriter Ida Maria revives the early ‘80s power pop revolution with her song "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked," a tribute to casual sex with a partner who isn't good for much else.

Maria, the daughter of parents who are both musicians, started playing concerts at 14-years-old. Before turning 18, she had moved away from home, studying classical composition at a Christian boarding school in Stockholm, Sweden, while forming a rock group that would eventually become popular locally.

In 2007, she released her first single, "O My God," but it failed to chart. Another single, "Stella," did poorly, only reaching #185 in the UK. It was an early 2008 appearance on the BBC television show Later... with Jools Holland and the summer release of "Naked" that launched Maria into international stardom. The song reached the top 20 in both Norway and the UK, and Time magazine placed the song at #3 on their "Top Ten List of Everything in 2008."

Looking a bit like Meg White of White Stripes but sounding more like a happy, flirtatious Courtney Love, Maria offers a fairly straightforward post-punk rock song that can be listened to wearing both a jean jacket with black-and-white patches and pink leg warmers. It's an upbeat new wave rocker primarily made up of "punk-lite" drum beats and simple guitar riffs. Maria spends most of her time strumming a single chord loudly while half-speaking, half-singing her dialogue.

Even though she claims to have been largely influenced by Janis Joplin (and others have made the comparison), I find that Maria sounds more like several of the slightly tone-deaf female vocalists from the early eighties. Thoughts of Debora Iyall of Romeo Void and Patty Donahue of The Waitresses come to mind. However, at times she gruffs up her voice and comes off like a combination of Joan Jett and PJ Harvey on a good beer buzz.

The song's chorus is a huge letdown – a bizarre reinterpretation of "The Tra La La Song," the opening tune from the ‘70s kids show The Banana Splits Adventure Hour. Since the show and song predate Maria by a good 15 years, I suspect fellow female rocker Liz Phair's upbeat 1995 recording of "Tra La La" may have served as her inspiration.

When it comes to figuring out what Maria is singing about, there are no cryptic messages to decode here. Her overly simplistic lyrics are bland, conversational outbursts demanding that the object of her lust disrobe. No clever poetry, no double entendres, no mystical metaphors – just a down-and-dirty request to be taken home and shown some flesh.

"You're just another guy,
Okay, you're kind of sexy,
But you're not really special,
But I won't mind if you take me home...
I won't mind if you take off all your clothes...
Because I like you so much better when you're naked"

"It's very much a shout-out to all those who objectify women," Maria said. "I wanted to turn it around and make the male body an object. I think I succeeded and I'm very happy about this."

The origin of "Naked" paints an interesting picture. "I had been writing songs for three days and I didn't bother to get dressed or shower," the 24-year-old told Rolling Stone. "I was just sitting there in my underwear with a guitar. That was how I came up with it." Personally, I don't know whether to be turned on, grossed out or both.

"Naked" has spent nine weeks on Billboard's Hot Modern Rock Tracks so far, and the album is currently on the Top Heatseekers and Top Independent Albums charts.

If you like simple, catchy, chick rock songs about shedding some clothes, you'll probably want to check this tune out. As for me, I think I'd like it so much better if she were talented… and original.

Rating: *** (3 out of 5)
If You Like: Distillers, Joan Jett, Liz Phair, Romeo Void, Sleeper, Veruca Salt

Tech N9ne featuring Chino XL & Crooked I – Sickology 101
Prepare To Be Schooled

Tech N9ne, Chino XL, and Crooked I have teamed up to teach the masses how rock a mic. These three have dubbed themselves instructors of "sickology" (a play on the word psychology) and take turns simultaneously explaining and demonstrating what it takes to be a raw, hardcore MC.

Tech N9ne kicks off the lesson with a "quick Midwest chatter," an impressive show of effortlessly spitting several syllables out with a rapid-fire delivery that rivals the legendary, able-tongued rap group Fu-Schnickens.

Next, he presents "melodic melodies" where he stresses the need to "keep an octave in a pocket" and not go off-key, a style often employed by rappers who can also sing like Mike Jones and Eminem. Then he employs "harmony" where vocal tracks are layered, each one sung in a different note – a technique used by performers like Nate Dogg and Bone, Thugs 'N Harmony.

Crooked I kicks off the second verse discussing wordplay. He explains that whenever necessary, he changes the pronunciation of words because, "The English language gotta do whatever my verse say," using the example of rhyming Thursday with thirsty (thereby creating the word thirs-tay).

Then he shows how to put swag in your style by slowing his flow down a bit and dragging out the last vowel in each word that lands on the beat, "Right nooooow I'm putting swaaaaaag in my styyyyyyle."

He ends discussing the importance of crafting good similes and metaphors, offering examples like "hot as a live wire" and "This song is a war zone and you listeners are in the crossfire."

Chino rocks the last verse picking up where Crooked I left off, offering several entertaining similes such as "sick delivery like I drive a coroner van" and "every punch line hits like Chris Brown's fist in the face of Rihanna."

He details the importance of expressing conviction and self-confidence in a clever and entertaining way. "I'd rather hear Hannah Montana than half of you rappers on the radio," he quips. Then, exercising his ability to boast while flexing his worldplay skills, he raps, "Startin' drama with Chino, God forbid. Auction my lyrics on eBay, that's God for bid."

"Sickology 101" is one of two lead singles from the album of the same name. The album is the second of Tech N9ne's "collabos," which is what he names his mixtapes.

With so many disappointing and forgettable collaborations coming out lately, it's nice to see three very capable MCs come together and display so many styles with flawless flow while sticking to a common theme, resulting in a song that simply kicks ass. If you're a rap fan, be sure to add this track to your collection.

Rating: ***** (5 out of 5)
If You Like: Eminem, Fu-Schnickens, Geto Boys, Ice-T, Onyx

The Six Pack: A half-dozen quick song reviews in an easy-to-carry cooler!

311 – "Hey You"
Sometimes the band 311 can blend pop, ska, rap, and rock into something cool. But, more often than not, the band ends up creating a dull pop song with out-of-place rock guitar and ska beats forcefully jammed into it like two photobombers making goofy faces behind a wedding party. Their new album's lead single, "Hey You," falls into the latter category. The lyrics pretend to be a tribute to a good friend, but in a not-so-clever twist of plot, the song reveals itself to be actually an homage to music in general. Oh boy. "Hey You" is a warm and fuzzy mainstream ditty that just screams of mediocrity, sounding so similar to the band's past radio singles that before I had finished my first listen, I felt like I'd already heard it a couple dozen times. This band needs to stop photocopying their old hits and put a little effort into the music. In other words, come original.

Rating: ** (2 out of 5)
If You Like: Red Hot Chili Peppers (1999-2007), Smashmouth

Glee Cast – "Don't Stop Believin'"
For those of you who love sappy '80s pop rock ballads and also enjoy the soundtracks from such musicals as Rent and Moulin Rouge, you are in for a treat. In an effort to promote the new Fox rip-off of High School Musical, Glee, the actors have done a semi-accapella version of Journey's hit "Don't Stop Believin'," a 28-year-old song that still shows up on music charts around the world - including the Irish Singles Chart, where it has spent 75 weeks since late 2007. Personally, I think this gay (and by that, I mean happy) little number sounds too much like Up With People being featured on a Kidz Bop disc. These kids may have talent, but still... Do Not Want!

Rating: ** (2 out of 5)
If You Like: High School Musical, King's Singers, Rockapella

Musiq Soulchild – "So Beautiful"
"So Beautiful" is a painfully generic soul ballad that serves more cheese than an Italian waiter. "I wanna give all my love to you, girl." "You don't know how much I miss you." "It just feels so right." "I wanna be always here by your side." This song is loaded with so many overused cliches, I began to wonder if it was composed by Sarah Palin's speechwriter. Musiq Soulchild's falsetto vocals are difficult to tolerate and the music is about as exciting as watching snails mate. It's not just the fact that this track is extremely mellow. It's also incredibly boring and totally uninspired. By the time I reached the middle of this yawnfest, I was hoping it would be interrupted with some elevator music or one of those songs you hear during your local forecast on the Weather Channel. Do not listen to this song while driving or operating heavy machinery.

Rating: * (1 out of 5)
If You Like: D'Angelo, Ginuwine, Maxwell, R Kelly

Sick Puppies - "You're Going Down"
This weekend, the WWE pay-per-view event Extreme Rules airs. If you watch it, you will undoubtedly become familiar with the Sick Puppies song "You're Going Down." One can't argue that the track's unambiguous lyrics befit the honor of being a wrestling event's theme song.

I'm hyped up, out of control,
If it's a fight, I'm ready to go,
I wouldn't put my money on the other guy...
One of us is going down...
Yeah, you're the one that's going down.

Lead Vocalist Shimon Moore said of the song, "I asked myself, 'When you're getting pumped up to get into the ring, what would you want to hear?' And that's what came out." If the chord progression feels vaguely familiar, it's because the verses of "You're Going Down" feature a slower, slightly modified version of the main riff from the Dead Kennedys song "Holiday In Cambodia." Though it's hardly original, this song is still copasetic. I can't, however, stop myself from singing over the existing lyrics with, "So you've been to school for a year or two and you know you've seen it all..."

Rating: *** (3 out of 5)
If You Like: Gravity Kills, Orgy, Powerman 5000 (2003-), Spineshank (2003), Two

Slipknot – "Sulfur"
"Sulfur" is an odd choice for a radio single by the masked marauders of metal. Don't get me wrong, the song definitely makes me want to rip a mannequin apart with my bare hands and eat its body parts smeared in ketchup. But, Slipknot's latest single kicks off with such a heavy doom-metal intro that I can't imagine that most rock station program directors plan to play this between "Old Time Rock 'N Roll" and "Dream On." But, despite my pessimism, "Sulfur" has still made its way up to #33 on Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks. I'm supposing that's largely due to the song's chorus which ditches the death metal and borrows the basic feel of hook from Slipknot's biggest hit to date, "Duality." Lyrically, the band has matured, trading in lyrics about "people equal shit" and "burying your ass with the chrome straight to the dome" for dark poetry that offers hope in the hardest of times. The chorus preaches that, "You don't always know where you stand until you know that you won't run away." Why such a positive message? "The last three years have been an awakening for me," lead vocalist Corey Taylor explained of the song. "For most of my life, I tended to base my opinion of myself by what people thought of me. As I got stronger, I learned to be happy in my own skin." Not bad for a guy whose skin was once tossed in a dumpster and left for dead after OD'ing at a party.

Rating: **** (4 out of 5)
If You Like: Devildriver, God Forbid, Lamb of God, Machine Head (1994-1997, 2007-), Slayer (1998-)

Veer Union – "Seasons"
Does this song break new ground? No. Does it sound just like most of the other heavy rock out there now? Yes. Is it a decent track? Sure. Veer Union was formed in 2004 and signed to Universal Records a few years later. Their debut album dropped last month and its lead single, "Seasons," was chosen as the official theme song for WWE's Backlash 2009. The band's message? "Every song we write about is about hope, whether it's about hoping to get the girl back, being in a better place, or not being spiteful or cynical." Well, that doesn't sound like rock and roll where I come from, but I guess I'll let these guys slide. Don't expect to be blown away, but if you like most of today's mainstream groove metal, you'll probably dig this tune. I did.

Rating: **** (4 out of 5)
If You Like: 10 Years, Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Daughtry, Ra, Red