Under the Scalpel 06.11.09: Eminem, Tina Parol and 30 Heavy Rock Songs You Need To Own
Posted by Mark Ingoldsby on 06.11.2009
Eminem assumes his Slim Shady alter-ego once again and presents one of his most brutal monologues to date, Tina Parol fleeces her two-timing sugar daddy, plus 30 hand-picked heavy rock tracks to kickstart any stale playlist.
"Under the Scalpel: Dissecting Pop Culture One Song at a Time" is a weekly column written by Mark Ingoldsby, songwriter and guitarist for the hard rock band A Simple Complex. Download three free tracks that will rock your panties off at www.asimplecomplex.com
Eminem Insane
Not For The Faint Of Heart
Before getting too far along in recording his latest album Relapse, Marshall Mathers stood at a crossroads. Should he continue to focus his writing as hot-headed rapper Eminem, who speaks from the heart in songs like "Lose Yourself" and "Sing For The Moment," or should he assume the controversial persona of "Slim Shady," his unrestrained alter-ego that has rapped some of the most brutal and comical monologues that the world has ever seen?
After consulting with executive producer Dr. Dre, who in turn consulted his son, who in turn consulted his peers, it became clear what the people wanted: Slim Shady.
The sixth song from Relapse to chart on Billboard's Hot 100, "Insane," is hard evidence that Em got the message. Slim is back and is as outrageous as ever. Where his major label debut dropped my jaw off of a 50-foot cliff, "Insane" strapped it to an excavator drill and buried it deep within the Earth's crust.
From the opening line, this track had me on the edge of my seat like a teenager watching a 50-car pile-up. For exactly three minutes, Em devilishly shares a terrifying tale of being sexually abused by his stepfather using savagely excessive hyperbole simply to shock, offend and entertain.
"I was born with a dick in my brain. Yeah, fucked in the head,
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed,
'Til one night he snuck in and said,
'We're going out back. I want my dick sucked in the shed.'
Those who aren't totally repulsed by Em's unsavory dialogue will be absolutely floored by his ability to twist a harrowing experience into something so surreal it sounds like he's narrating a bizarre nightmare or demented cartoon.
In the second verse, he describes his stepfather participating in such outlandish activities as biting off chainsaw blades, laying under a running lawn mower, wearing a training bra, and playing ping pong with his eyeball while using his penis for a paddle. At one point, the song's story gets so absurd that Em asks himself, "Shady? What the fuck you saying?" to which he replies, "I don't know! Help me!"
The story of "Insane" so heavily blurs the line of where fact ends and fiction begins that the listener is forced to wonder how much, if any, of the story contains verity. Although Em told the New York Times that the content of "Insane" is "pretty much all fiction," the words pretty much' leave the door cracked open just enough to infer that this tale was likely inspired by actual events while simultaneously trying to avoid being sued again by his notoriously litigious mother. She is portrayed as a person who put a lit cigarette to a young Em's neck and encouraged his stepfather to abuse him more.
Em's performance is top-shelf, raising the bar for other A-List rappers as he moves rapidly through his tongue-twisting dialogue, easily switching between the voices of each character from his brainsick recital: the cruel stepfather, the annoyed mother, the dejected child, and the unwell narrating adult the child became.
The music behind Em skillfully combines the feel of horror and comedy, coming off like the soundtrack to an evil circus or a merry-go-round from hell. Dr. Dre was at the helm of this eerie number, providing the perfect balance of hip-hop, horror soundtrack, and bouncy pop feel for Em's twisted lyrics.
Amazingly, this song has found its way on Billboard's Hot 100. This is a mystery to me because no amount of editing is going to get this song played on FM radio, and I can't find any reference to this track being released individually in retail (CD single, EP, 12" vinyl). Could it be that digital sales and Internet streaming alone are responsible for this song's appearance on the chart?
One thing is for sure: This track (like four others from Relapse) is in heavy rotation on all of my music players. If you can handle the gruesome content, be sure to check out "Insane," the song Kanye West recently referred to as "genius."
Rating: ***** (5 out of 5)
If You Like: Slim Shady
Tina Parol Who's Got Your Money
Two-Timing Sugar Daddy Gets Fleeced
Carrie Underwood and Jazmine Sullivan may have trashed their unfaithful men's cars, but Tina Parol believes in using the same method as Blu Cantrell for mending a broken heart. She's maxing out the credit cards.
In "Who's Got Your Money," Parol goes from crying to buying after confirming rumors that her man's been seeing another woman. Gucci, Louis Viton, diamonds, a new Cadillac, and trips to Vegas and Ibiza (an island in the Mediterranean that conveniently rhymes with VISA) are considered suitable revenge as a scorned woman's fury turns to frenzy a shopping frenzy.
"Money" is an upbeat pop rocker that playfully incites victims of disloyalty to become rebellious embezzlers. However, this little fantasy is a real stretch of the imagination. I'm willing to bet that her target audience of teens and tweens probably won't care or even notice, and older listeners will need to apply a little suspension of disbelief to enjoy this song on any meaningful level.
Otherwise, you will find yourself wondering what kind of sugar daddy this girl hooked up with whose empire is so easily liquidated. Parol not only maxes out the cards she also cashes in all of his stocks and bonds. It's hard to accept that no accountant, bank, credit card company or any form of identity theft would step in while our hero' takes her friends on multiple vacations, stocks up on plenty of expensive fashion, purchases a new Caddy, and more.
If you can overlook this, the song is admittedly fun in an Avril Lavigne meets Pink kind of way. The music is peppy and Parol's voice is dynamic, versatile and loaded with personality. In the "About Me" section on her official MySpace page (which reads like dialogue from the movie Clueless) this 21-year-old claims, "I've been hurt by some friends, by some boys and by some boys again. But I wrote an album about it, so life is good." So we seem to have some genuine lyrical inspiration.
"Money" is Parol's only commercially available song for the moment. But she has been writing songs since she was 11, including the track "Rock Boy," which was recorded by Britney Spears and used as the b-side for her single "If You Seek Amy."
As a performer, her public appearances date back even further. She sang at the Niagra Falls Festival of Lights at the tender age of four. And one could playfully state that her urge to be involved in music even pre-dates that, seeing that her mother went into labor while attending a Tina Turner concert (serving as the inspiration for Parol's first name).
A number of '80s icons are listed as Parol's main musical influences. She can claim being inspired by hard rocking vocalists like Debbie Harry, Pat Benatar, Chrissie Hynde, and Joan Jett, but Parol's voice is far too sweet to be compared to them. In reality, she sounds a lot more like Vanessa Carlton or Michelle Branch, perhaps with a bit more sass.
"Money" is a mildly amusing song, but it's also quite generic. If you and your gal pals can't resist shouting along to every girl anthem that comes down the bubblegum pike, this track is for you. Otherwise, don't go out of your way for it.
Rating: *** (3 out of 5)
If You Like: Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Katy Rose, Michelle Branch, Pink
Let Me Be Your DJ: Heavy Rock
Are you sick of the same ten CDs floating around on your car's passenger seat? Look no further than "Let Me Be Your DJ" to instantly provide you with some fresh tracks, all pre-screened by yours truly and certified as worthy of adding to your playlist.
This week, if you've grown tired of Godsmack, gotten burnt out on Disturbed, and aren't in the mood for old Metallica, you don't need to sit through a million crappy songs just to discover 30 new good ones. Here is all you need to get over two hours of the latest and greatest fist-pumping rock!
10 Years - Actions And Motives
3 Doors Down - Train
Black Light Burns - Lie
Black Market Hero - Freedom Dealer
Black Stone Cherry - Blind Man
Bloodsimple - Out To Get You
Blue October - Dirt Room
Crooked X Adrenaline
Earshot - Missunderstood
Five Finger Death Punch - Stranger Than Fiction
Grinspoon - Black Tattoo
Halestorm - I Get Off
Hellyeah - You Wouldn't Know
Ill Nino - Arrastra
In This Moment - Beautiful Tragedy
Jet Black Stare - Ready To Roll
Katatonia - My Twin
Motorhead - Runaround Man
Mudvayne - Do What You Do
Nine Inch Nails - Not So Pretty Now
Nonpoint - March Of War
Porcupine Tree - Fear of a Blank Planet
Scorpions - Humanity
Serj Tankian - The Unthinking Majority
Shinedown - Devour
Skindred - Roots Rock Riot
Sixx AM - Pray For Me
Slipknot - Dead Memories
Veer Union Seasons
Within Temptation - What Have You Done
