The Saturday Morning Car-Tune News Report 08.22.09: How Would A Blue Meanie Respond If Asked Whether Or Not They Wanted a Yellow Submarine Remake?

Posted by Lucas Wesley on 08.22.2009

Yellow Submarine is being remade, that new Radiohead song is actually by Radiohead, Bob Dylan and George Michael have run ins with the law (guess who's was more serious?), Kraftwerk join the box set brigade and more! Read all about it along with a discussion about the critic's defining statement, the rock list, in this week's Saturday Morning Car-Tune News!

On to week 9 of the Saturday Morning Car-Tune News, and the final report before I return to college! I want to say that won't change anything, but if next week's column is a bit thin, well, there's the explanation in advance. This one's a little thin, too, actually, but that's not my fault, that's the fault of news-less-ness. Other than that, this week is business as usual, so let's get to the news!



- Remember that Radiohead song that no one was sure whether or not it was really a Radiohead song? Well, it was, and it's available for free download at W.A.S.T.E. Merchandise. Sometimes rumors come true. Not all of them, though, or else we'd have an EP on our hands. The good news is that the song is good, no matter what certain naysayers think.

- Bob Dylan was picked up by some cops in New Jersey. Apparently he was wandering around alone in the rain and an officer took to thinking that was odd and suspicious. Especially when he identified himself as Bob Dylan and she didn't recognize him as such. He was eventually led back to his tour bus and identified to the officer's mild embarrassment. This is pretty odd, though, no matter how you look at it. Reports are saying Dylan was looking for the house Bruce Springsteen lived in when he wrote "Born To Run," which is plausible based on his previous visit to Neil Young's childhood home, but still. Or maybe he was just going for a walk. Either way, a bit odd, Bob.

- Speaking of police action, George Michael was arrested again. Only this time, it didn't take place in a public bathroom. Michael was reported to have crashed into a truck in a terrible car accident, and is currently under suspicion of a DUI. Of course this is terrible news and I hope it all ends up well, but at the same time I'm forced to make a joke about Extras and say that I wouldn't be surprised if Michael talked this down to ten hours of community service.

- I previously reported Mika's sophomore album as We Are Golden. While that was previously announced, there appears to be a change. It will instead be called The Boy Who Knew Too Much. The pre release single is still called "We Are Golden." There is no information to explain why the change was made. The release date remains September 22. I'm sure you still don't care and the only people that do are those that are mocking me for liking Mika, but that's life.



- Hear ye seekers of the original electronic music: Kraftwerk have a box set and a string of reissues on the way. Autobahn, Radio-Activity, Trans-Europe Express, The Man Machine, Computer World, Techno Pop, remix comp The Mix, and Tour De France Soundtracks will be compiled for a big box called 12345678: The Catalogue. Autobahn to The Man Machine will all be reissued individually, the others left in the box due to licensing issues. It all comes out October 6. There is no apparent word as to why Kraftwerk 1, Kraftwerk 2 or Ralf und Florian aren't included or getting their own reissues, but logic would imply more pesky licensing issues.

- Beck's still trucking through his various projects, with another Planned Obsolescence and "The Black Angel's Death Song." Nothing new here, but it would be the Saturday Morning Car-Tune News without Beck. They turn "Black Angel" from the crazy noisy mess it is into a bit of a jangly folk tune, which is pretty sweet. Nothing against the original, though.



- As a music writer, I don't typically complain about directors remaking classic movies. It just isn't part of the job. But today I read that Robert Zemeckis was planning on remaking The Beatles Yellow Submarine. No, no, no, no, no. And I'm not just saying that to satiate the meanies. There is no way that film can be changed that anyone could misconstrue as an improvement. It just can't happen. I'm sad now. The plan is to redo the film with Zemeckis' 3D motion capture technology, seen previously on The Polar Express. This adds nothing. And how the hell are they going to motion capture Blue Meanies?

Star Power

2009 is coming to an end relatively soon, and with that, the first decade of the 2000's is coming to an end as well. Called "the aughts" and by others "the oh yeah's," either way, plenty of music was released this decade. This means it's time for music writers to do what they do best: make meaningless lists. Some of us are waiting for the year (and decade) to actually, you know, end before we make any lists. Myself, I'll probably even wait and revise for another year before settling on something I really like here, knowing that time and frame of reference can change opinions. However, Pitchfork Media has already gone live with their Top 200 Songs of the Oh Yeah's, and in a month they'll be working on their Top 200 Albums. All of this activity has got me thinking. Not about my own list, but lists in general. And thus we have the subject for this week's Star Power.



I suppose I kind of have to comment on the list that brought this thought up, so I may as well do that first. I could complain about placements. My personal pick for number one (well, so far, without much thought, and all those other disclaimers) is "Pagan Poetry" by Björk, which placed a paltry 227 on Pitchfork's list. And the number one song, "B.O.B" by OutKast...well, I barely even remember it, but I was never huge into OutKast. But honestly, it doesn't matter. The list is what you would expect, and on paper, what it should be: a lot of deeper cuts from critical darlings with a smattering of hit singles from the biggest pop acts of the day. That's the only way it makes sense, and that's how they did it. Of course, tons of people will complain about placements, and about how much they hate "Crazy in Love" (number 4) and how "Island In The Sun" (number 495) is way too low. But as we'll realize as I go through this list, my whole point here is that these lists have no point. The only point is to introduce you to songs you haven't heard of before, while at the same time giving you a general idea of the taste of the person or people compiling the list.

Moving on to what epitomizes that idea, I point to Pitchfork's other lists. Not their best of 2001-2004 or what have you, but the historical lists: The Best Albums of the 1970s, the Best of the 1980s and the Best of the 1990s. While the first time you go through this you'll be bound to the usual "this album rocks, this album sucks, this list rocks...no wait, THAT'S number six? this list sucks!" routine that we all go through when we see lists. But if you go through it again, maybe you'll notice that you've never heard number twelve, and it's about time. And number seventy-four...who's that? Word of warning at this point: while some Smashing Pumpkins fans may have already looked for the lists in order to check what albums are at those numbers to find my deeper significance, they're random. Don't look into it. Tangent aside, the point remains lists can introduce you to new things.

Perhaps the recipient of the most fan hatred and disagreement in the list world goes to Rolling Stones. It doesn't take a long time to find someone who hates their Top Albums, Top Songs, Top Guitarists, Top Singers...everything they've done. If Rolling Stone likes it, it's obviously commercial garbage pandering to classic rock fan boys. Not so. Just as I've learned of new albums and artists I've come to love from Pitchfork, I've done the same from Rolling Stone. Of course, these are the type of albums that you most likely would've heard of anyway, and nothing on these lists is going to jettison you into the cool crowds aside from the bare minimum. But the list teaches just the same. I'm not sure I'd have heard and loved The Harder They Come soundtrack were it not for that list.

This is where the paragraph about VH1 and MTV lists would go, but do I even need to bother? If there's any set of lists that even I can't justify that in absolutely no way matter, it's the lists aired on VH1.



The opinions don't really matter. The justification really doesn't matter. All that matters is that these lists are large groups of people saying "hey, we like this. You might like it, too." Not to sound too self-serving, but that's the point of the fine top 5's here at 411. In fact, I think our top 5 format is the only way to get it right. And stick with me here because in a minute I'm not going to be so masturbatory. The reason our top five format works is because in a condensed area we get several people's opinions, giving a wide range of new music for people to try out without getting into the pretentious "these are unquestionably the greatest" area. Of course, we did do that previously with our Top 100 Albums list, but I wasn't here then. If I was, I'd have complained about our number one pick (Nirvana's Nevermind). That further explains why top five's are better: they don't purport to be everyone's collective opinion when in fact several people involved disagree entirely. I don't mean to knock our list, I love it, it's great, check it out and you'll love it, too. But the format of top fives is just better.

I don't have much else to say here. In summation, lists are good in terms of helping you find new music, but the whole pesky "now people can disagree with your biggest opinions" thing always bogs them down. The 411 Top Five is a great format because everyone gives their opinion, and no one argues or tries to be definitive. Make your own lists to show your friends what you like and help them try out something new, but accept the fact that if you do that, they're bound to angrily disagree with something in your top five. If you want, post your lists in the comments or elsewhere online. I'll read them, other people will read them. Some will learn, others will bitch. That's the way of the list.

It occurs to me there's only one way to end this, so here it goes. My personal top 50 albums. Learn, love, hate, comment. That's the point, but primarily I hope you learn. And I'm a bit of an egomaniac, so I really hope you love, too.

Farewell Song

In 1966, the great year of Pet Sounds, not only is the song of the year not from Pet Sounds, but...Pet Sounds isn't even album of the year! I'd place it third, actually. Second is Revolver. But the first comes from a man I've talked plenty about already (when we get out of the 60's this part might even get interesting now and again), and he deserves all of my attention along with all of yours. A true legend, in 1966 he released what is sometimes my favorite song, not only of his but of all time. I'm not going to go so far today, though what would it matter since I change my favorite song every few days? It's not important. Point is, the song of 1966 is "I Want You" by Bob Dylan.

And just as simple as that, the album of 1966 is Bob Dylan's masterpiece, Blonde On Blonde. Next week I won't mention Dylan or The Beatles or any other cliche band at all, I promise!

That does it for this week, folks. Hope you enjoyed your stay here and I hope you stop by again next week for another edition of the Saturday Morning Car-Tune News!