The Singles Guy 09.20.09: I'm Such A Homer

Posted by Jacob Crogie on 09.20.2009

This week I verbally stroke O-Town and all its wonders as I delve into tracks by Belly and Carrie Underwood. Digging a little deeper to find a song worthy of my Seal of Awesomeness, it comes from an unknown band in British Columbia of all places! Read, comment and tell your friends that the Singles Guy is back.

Well, what kind of forum would this be if I didn't use it to take a shot at Kanye West and his latest douchebaggery. Of all the people to go after...Taylor Swift? REALLY? You can do almost anything and I'll forgive you, Kanye, but to go after one of the classiest girls in the music business? I am boycotting you completely, dick. I feel horrible for Taylor, this is how she will remember her first VMA, and that isn't fair.


Hot 100


Trey Songz ft. Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy- "LOL:-)"

Really, that is the actual title of this steaming pile of c-rap. I am beginning to grow a strong dislike for this Gucci Mane ever since I heard his contribution to the Obsessed remix, he simply has no talent. Then you throw in the shitstain that will not dissipate, Soulja Boy himself, and the track goes even further downhill. This basically plays off of the theme of "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" and is about as intelligent as an MRF. This song actually annoys me, I'm not sure whether its the horrid lyrics or instrumentation that is about as pleasant as rectal bleeding. Trey Songz has yet to put out a song worth listening to but someone keeps buying his shit and forcing the rest of us to put up with him.

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0/5

Like It? Listen To This: "Kiss Me Thru The Phone"- Soulja Boy




Rock


Buckcherry- "Talk To Me"

This band continues to grow on me, they write simple songs that are always entertaining. They are America's answer to Theory of a Deadman and this song is built out of the same mold as "Bad Girlfriend", however, lacking the power and witticism to truly reach those levels. Although, the line about kissing her between her thighs always makes me laugh. The song is far from a classic with music vaguely reminiscent of Aerosmith's early nineties efforts and lyrics drawing on every cliche possible. There is just one problem though, I can't get this song out of my head. Surely that must count for something?

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3/5

Like It? Listen To This: "Bad Girlfriend"- Theory of a Deadman




Dance


The Pet Shop Boys- "Did You See Me Coming"

Oh. My. God. I never thought that I would have to review a song from The Pet Shop Boys, this is clearly uncharted territory. I don't really know where to begin with this track, the music is corny but that is to be expected I assume, as are the incredibly cliched lyrics. With a dance beat born of the 80s, this track plods along being generally inoffensive but completely forgettable. Even for a love song, this is too cliched to bear repeat listening. It is akin to muzak, completely bland, distant and ambiguous. For fans of house music.

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0.5/5

Like It? Listen To This: "The Sun Always Shines on TV"- A-Ha





Country


Carrie Underwood- "Cowboy Casanova"

I guess Carrie is practically part of the family now. For all those who are woefully ignorant of her current relationship, she is dating #12 Mike Fisher of my Ottawa Senators and hot damn he is one lucky jock. This song surprised me, as Carrie usually sticks to the lighter side of country, ballads and Crue covers. The subject matter deals with a cowboy pickup artist at a Honky Tonk. Can't say I really grasp the concept personally, does this kind of situation still exist somewhere? Anyways, the track has deep guitar and is incredibly heavy for a Carrie track. Its all very much like Shania at her peak and has all the makings of a crossover smash. Hopefully there is more of the same on her forthcoming album, "Play On".

Like It? Listen To This: "(If You're Not in It for Love) I'm Outta Here!"- Shania Twain




Canadian Content


Belly ft. Snoop Dogg- "Hot Girl"

It's official, this is Ottawa week. Belly is Ottawa's feature rap artist who has put out some amazing tracks in the past including "Ridin'" and "Feel The Pressure". On this track he enlists the help of the man, nay...the legend himself Snoop Dogg. As per Belly's MO this track is a slower banger featuring his intense delivery which is contrasted very well by Snoop's laid back style. Some solid bass and a catchy hook make this an almost certain hit in the clubs and on MuchMusic, our answer to MTV. Hopefully he can catch on in the States and you will see that rap is alive and well in the north. He has the talent to be the biggest thing this side of Kardinal and doesn't need to ride Akon to get some exposure.

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3.5/5

Like It? Listen To This: "Ridin'"- Belly




The Jacob Crogie Seal of Awesomeness


The British Columbians- "Hoodoo"

Even more Canadian content for the week, although these guys are as far away from Ottawa as you can get while still in Canada. Doesn't change the fact that this track with dastardly overdriven guitars and rumbling bass lines puts Jack White to shame. The drummer deserves some credit for keeping this clusterfuck under control! As for the vocalist, he would be right at home in a blues club with all the power and distortion behind him. This song is truly something to behold. It is so underground that it doesn't even exist on Youtube. Here is a download link, give it a listen. (search for Hoodoo using CTRL+F)

http://www.indiemusicfilter.com/?m=200901


So that's it for another week, be sure to tune in same time next week when we get all the latest and the greatest plus all the crap that everyone else likes...


Until next week, keep your pimphand strong and your rawkfist in the air!