The Savage Animal 09.30.09: The Top 12 Mikes In Music

Posted by Mikey MiGo on 09.30.2009

What does Jackson, Stipe, Bolton, and MiGo all have in common? They’re all Mikes! In this edition of The Savage Animal, Mikey MiGo gives his top twelve “Mikes” in music. Click for Mikes, a review of the SNL season premiere, and more!


This past week flew by. I've been in isolation editing "Upping The Ante". After a week of cutting down over 2000 avi files into 71 minutes of movie, staying up till at least 6 AM every day, and chain smoking more cigarettes than a nervous small army I'm thrilled with the results. There's still another good twenty to thirty minutes left to shoot, but that'll happen come November. I'd expect a preview trailer to hit to internets sometime before Mid-October.

There are a lot of new albums that I need to pick up and check out. There are tons of really good reviews up on this site right now that makes me curious. There's the new "Alice In Chains", the new "Ghostface", the new "Pearl Jam" with that single I like, and even the new "Kill Hannah" sounds good based off the well written review. There is not enough time in the day, let me tell ya. If I'm missing any new releases, drop a comment. Hopefully some day before these bands next albums come out I'll be able to listen.

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MIKE RULES!
"It has nothing to do with my name being Mike… no, really!"
I've come to the conclusion that the name "Mike" is awesome. That goes for the variations as well including "Michael" and "Mikey". Out of the blue the topic of discussion went from random randomness to "Name all the famous Mikes in music". There were a lot of famous names and a few ridiculous ones. The only other names that came to mind that had possibly better candidates was "James/Jimmy" and "John", but we'll stick to the original discussion. Worth noting is that I'm blatantly saying that I'm not famous and my name is faaaaar from even visible from this grouping. I just like the name "Mike".

Feel free to leave comments about "Mikes" that I missed or omitted or even leave a list of musicians with YOUR name. These are pretty much all the "Mikes" I could think of. Not necessarily my "favorite", but in order of how much I don't hate them. Fair enough? Sure it is!

We start with the ridiculous…

12.)
The Mike: Michael Bolton
The Band: Michael Bolton (solo)
The 411: C'mon! I seriously couldn't think of as many "Mikes" as I thought I would. Michael Bolton came up in jest and ends up MAKING THE LIST!? Oh my gawd. The guy had a lot of R&B hits in a short window during the 90's. I'm sure we've all heard them at least one painful time or another. He's also famous for his hair, or at least he used to be. It's not confirmed, but I've been told that his hair was made up of the pubis of tribal virgins. I also can't confirm if that was made up by me or if I really did hear it somewhere. Either way, I think that's a message that needs to get out there.


11.)
The Mike: Michael McDonald
The Band: Michael McDonald (solo)
The 411: Not too much different than Bolton, but my perception of McDonald isn't as negative. His hair wasn't as flowing, but he does look like a cross between George Lucas and Kenny Rogers. At least he has THAT going for him. Well, that and some good jokes about him in "40 Year Old Virgin".


10.)
The Mike: Mike Jones
The Band: Mike Jones (solo)
The 411: For a short short minute, Mike Jones was a guilty pleasure for a lot of people including myself. "Who?" was responded to by many assholes, including myself, with "Mike Jooooones." Hating ourselves isn't necessary. We can all just move on. I know I have.


Here's two more "Mikes". I respect their works and have enjoyed it at one time or another, but they're just sorta "there"…

9.)
The Mike: Michael Einziger
The Band: Incubus
The 411: I used to like Incubus, but their recent stuff hasn't done anything for me. They'd faded farther and farther down my list of bands I listen to that they're almost just a memory. I'm always hopeful of their new material, but it's just not my cup of tea.


8.)
The Mike: Michael Buble'
The Band: Michael Buble' (solo)
The 411: I'm willing to bet that a lot of people reading this have no clue who this guy is. I've came across him casually from time to time on channels like PBS. He's got that classy lounge singer vibe that the old Rat Pack would have. But in comparison they had a shit load more edgy and swagger than Buble'. He's still a good singer, but not even close to the style he's emulating.


The next two are in the middle for me. I appreciate their work, but not enough to get excited about it…

7.)
The Mike: Michael Anthony
The Band: Van Halen/Chickenfoot
The 411: This was the other guy in the band not named "Van Halen". Michael Anthony always stood out to me. He's an awesome bassist, but was also always the forth wheel to the brothers and whoever was singing at the time. That's a shame too. He was obviously one of the main foundations of the band despite not being as popular as the rest. To call him the "Ringo" of the band would be insulting. In the times I've seen him off the stage in interviews, he seems like a cool guy. Then to just up and replace him with a teenager? Not cool. It is cool that Eddie brought his son on board, but to just toss Anthony away after like THIRTY YEARS should be criminal. He's now with Sammy again in "Chickenfoot", but it's a far cry from any of their best works.


6.)
The Mike: Michael Hutchence
The Band: INXS
The 411: I won't even get into the "Rockstar: INXS" reality show. Outside of Marty Casey's awesome "Trees", the show ended up being a waste of time. Before that INXS had some great songs, but sadly they've fallen wayside. "Need You Tonight", "Devil Inside", and "Never Tear Us Apart" are all really good songs and I'm sure if I listened to more of them I'd find additions to that list. Sadly, Hutchence passed away. His death has resulted in a lot of speculation, but when it comes down to it that doesn't matter. Sadly, this man of much potential is gone any way you look at it.


I'd say the top five are all people I am enthusiastically a fan of…

5.)
The Mike: Mike Nesmith
The Band: The Monkees
The 411: I know "The Monkees" are often the butt of many music jokes, but dammit I still love their music. As a child, this was still the case. They were still considered "lame" by many but I rocked the cassette tapes as much as any kid under the age of 10 could. Their show was in syndication so they were fresh to me. My favorite Monkee was Mike Nesmith. As I got older I've occasionally revisited their catalog and always leave it a bigger fan than I was before. I don't listen thinking about how they formed or in comparison to any other huge bands from the time. I take them for what they are. The Monkees were never about "saving the world" like "The Beatles", but their music is far from lacking substance. They're under respected, underappreciated, and apparently over many people's heads. Sure, they're a bit poppy


4.)
The Mike: Michael Stipe
The Band: R.E.M
The 411: The voice of REM is one that a listener remembers and Stipe has carved his name in music history with tracks like "It's The End of The World as We Know It", "Losing My Religion", "Shiny Happy People", Man On The Moon", "Everybody Hurts", my favorite "Orange Crush", and plethora of others. I've always been a respecting supporter of REM. I'd never really go as far as saying I was really THAT into them. I enjoy their singles and whenever I see a performance on television I'm always impressed. I've just never taken that full leap into their full body of music. That doesn't change the fact that the singles of REM are more than enough for Michael Stipe to placed high on this list.


3.)
The Mike: Mike D
The Band: The Beastie Boys
The 411: If you own a set of ears you are destined to love "The Beastie Boys". Mike D is one of the voices and faces of this hip hop group. At the age of 43, the guy seems to still have more youth inside him than people less than half his age. I've never seen a Beastie performance that I didn't love and for the most part I've always enjoyed their music. I could of dealt with a bit less of the "techno" sounding stuff recently, but from what I've heard of "Hot Sauce Committee, Pt. 1" they'll be back to rocking our collective asses off as soon as MCA is ready. The wait, while completely understandable, shall be worth it. When you think of the hit singles of the Beasties, you almost get overwhelmed. "Fight For Your Right", "No Sleep till Brooklyn", "So What'cha Want", "Sabotage", "Sure Shot", "Brass Monkey", "Girls", "Intergalactic", and the dozen or two more will kick start any party at any time.


2.)
The Mike: Mike Patton
The Band: Faith No More and a slew of others
The 411: I really wanted to put him as my number one. The works of Patton, "Faith No More" especially, are some of my favorite things to currently listen to. I came late into their music so it's still really fresh with me. I won't claim to be a lifelong fan or anything, but discovering the musical genius of Mike Patton has been one of the best music related moments of the past few years of my life. I've been a fan of about half of the people on this list for a lot longer, but I know good art when I see or hear it. Mike Patton is an artist.


1.)
The Mike: Michael Jackson
The Band: The Jackson Five & Being "The King of Pop"
The 411: Is there any doubt here? It feels sort of redundant to list his accomplishments and talk him up now. It's been done a million times over by fans, the media, and columnist including myself. But if I do have to pick my favorite "Mike" in music, it has to be Michael Jackson. Just because he passed away doesn't mean his music doesn't live on. I can honestly say that even before his recent untimely death that he'd STILL be the number one on my list. I grew up on this guy and he has provided more hits than Chris Brown during award season. When you're having a casual conversation about music and the name "Michael" is brought up, we all know who's being talked about. To millions, and maybe even billion(s), he's always going to be "Michael".

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RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Checking in on an old favorite…
"Blue Monday" by Orgy

The 411: I really liked this cover back in the day. It's insane to think that this song is now ten years old. Orgy was one of those "nu-metal" era bands that really wasn't "nu-metal". They played "Family Values" and were pretty big for awhile. This song is mainly the reason they broke out. I appreciate the New Order version, but this is one of those rare situations where I like the cover more. I don't know why I remember this, but I always thought that this would have been a good entrance song for Raven. This song is catchy and the way they modernized it was remarkable. From there I only got into them in passing. I loved "Stitches" and "Dizzy" from the "Candyass" album, but nothing much after that caught my attention except for maybe "Dreams in Digital". I still say Jay Gordon's best work is the "Slept So Long" track from the "Queen of the Damned" soundtrack. Any who, the video is still effective within the genre. It's nothing too special, but it's well done and captures the tone of the song nicely. It's like a really good Korn video crossed with a really bad Manson video.

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RANDOM MOVIE REVIEW IN 411 WORDS OR LESS
"EXTRACT"
STARRING JASON BATEMAN, BEN AFFLECK, KRISTEN WIIG, MILA KUNIS & J.K. SIMMONS

The 411: I love Mike Judge. He's provided my life with much entertainment over the years. When you add up "Beavis and Butthead", "King of the Hill", "Office Space", "Idiocracy", and the other sprinkled in works you get one of the most solid and most respected comedy resumes out there right now. The same pretty much goes for Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig (who I like more everyday), Mila Kunis (who is emerging into one of the best comedy actresses), and Sir King Duke Ben Affleck. I don't think "Sir King Duke" is even a title, but if it was I'd knight Affleck as just that. So what happens when all these ingredients come together in a movie titled after an ingredient? We get a very solid movie. I saw it and I really enjoyed it. The movie is about Bateman's character feeling unfulfilled by his extract career, lack of sex with his wife (Wiig), and pretty much his entire life. He decides he wants to hook up with the new girl at work (Kunis), but has his doubts. His bartending slacker friend (Affleck) seems to be the only person able to break through to him, but with some horrible advice. He tries Xanax and ends up hiring a gigolo to screw his wife, thus relieving him of guilt for his planned hook up. This goes very wrong. He also has to deal with the workers of his company who want "their piece" as he's in talks with selling the company. There's a lot going on and you're never bored. If you enjoy the other works of Judge, then you'll enjoy this. My only issue is that the movie didn't really feel complete. Like it was missing something. Certain aspects seemed rushed and didn't feel like it got proper blow off. It's something I'll have to figure out the couple hundred times I watch it on DVD. I recommend it, but don't go into it expecting to see a uber-broad comedy like "The Hangover". While things are just as outrageous, it's done in much more low key and intelligent manner. It's Mike Judge. You think you're getting a silly broad comedy, but it's a rash that you just can't shake. See it! See it Now!

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RANDOM STUFF ON MY TV IN 411 WORDS OR LESS
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (Season Premiere)"
I'm a huge fan of SNL. While people bitch and complain about it, I've stood by it. Same goes for "The Simpsons" and WWE. All I hear about all three is that it's never as good as it used to be. I call bullshit on all three accounts. YOU are just an asshole and YOU are not as good as YOU used to be. Yeah, that's a lame retort, but it's true. If you have this mentality and waste your voice/typing time telling people this then you're just lame. If you don't like it, don't watch it, or don't want to discuss it… then DON'T. There's no reason to waste your time on things you don't like. Life is too short to bitch. You're turning the verb into a noun, folks.

Any who, I'll get off my milk crate because soap boxes are SO last millennium. I was looking forward to the premiere for awhile, but got so wrapped up in my own workings that I forgot about it until earlier today when a fellow SNL fan was being impatient about it. I really enjoyed this show. I was hesitant because I'm not a Megan Fox fan AT ALL. But honestly, I do have a little more respect for her after Saturday's show. She did very well with what she had and seemed like a team player as opposed to a glory whore like a good portion of other guests. I still don't like her. Sure she's attractive, but I live in the real world. Just like the other 99.999% of the male population, I'll never have a chance with her. Same with 99.999% of all other hot female celebrities. So for me, it's all about talent and personality. I'll take random hot chick with talent over random hot chick without talent any day of the week. None the less, she did well on the show and I'm less likely to hate on her as much as I did before. Then again, because of her Brian Austin Green was in the second Digital Short. That's booty. He's literally a cross between Dustin Diamond and K-Fed. If Fox branches out and shows some range then she'll be dropped from my "who the fuck cares" list. Speaking of "fuck"… the big news of the show was Jenny Slate dropping the "f-bomb" on her first night on the job. I thought I heard her fuck up and say it once, but then like the rest of the world, I heard the blatant drop. She obviously didn't do it on purpose and it probably destroyed her. I'm hoping she doesn't get fired for it because she seems promising. Regardless, with one accidental cuss word she's already being talked about more than any other female cast member not named Kristen in the past few years. It's not that big of a deal to normal people, but the higher-ups might take her out back and shoot her.

The digital shorts were hilarious, but I think everyone was expecting a new hit song. I laughed the loudest at the David Duchavny joke in the hotline ad. Other than that, there was plenty of goodness. Kenan's "Sex Tips with Grady" sketches are easily his best work. They push his scared straight stuff a lot of the times, but this sketch and last years are my favorite works of the "All That" alum. That is if you don't count the "Kenan and Kel Show". I loved that shit. I did, I did, I diiiiid. (Sorry) The Fox vs. Fred "Russian Wife" sketch had a lot of potential, but didn't quite make it. I'm not comparing either of them to it, but it COULD HAVE BEEN Swayze/Farley greatness. I think the highlight for me was seeing U2, one of my favorite bands of all time, rock the stage. Before the show, I proclaimed that Bono would leave the stage at least once and they'd probably get three songs instead of the traditional two. I was right on both accounts. I was hoping for an old song to be thrown in there, but I liked what we got. The latest U2 album is awesome. I'd of preferred "Magnificent", but the awesomeness of "Breathe", Bono's awkward freestyle rap, and the overly fogged light show with the bizarre microphone was good enough. Next week is Ryan Reynolds and Lady GaGa. It's sorta reverse for me. I like, not as much as U2 of course, Ryan Reynolds and am not a fan of Lady Gaga, again, not as much as Megan Fox. Some hosts I'd like to see would be the normal Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, but also Larry David(PLEASE!), Chevy Chase, Joel McHale, Sarah Chalke, Ricky Gervais, Mila Kunis, Zach Braff, Mary-Louise Parker, Sarah Silverman, Jason Bateman, BILL MURRAY, Robert Downey Jr., and then I say this without any jest… Whoopi Goldberg. Any of those would make me happy.

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WRESTLING WITH PILLOWS
Looking Out From the Inside.
RAW was meh. The opening segment turned match wasn't that great. The match itself would have been very decent on its own, but the promo before it knocked out all the steam. Sharpton was fine in his role, but while I appreciate his current project, a professional wrestling show is not the place to be pushing political stuff. If anything, the booing crowd might turn dumb little kids off from the idea because it's deemed "not cool" by wrestling fans. After that, for the taped segments, Sharpton was fine. The addition of the James Brown references probably fell on a lot of deaf ears, but it was a good way to humanize/normalize the often politically outspoken man. They should of used that angle to his personality as soon as they could of. If he's being lighter hearted like that, it's a lot easier to enjoy the man's pretty decent mic skills. I am enjoying the small storyline they have going for the US Title. It's giving all three a chance to show some personality and show the belt some respect. I'm thinking this will last a little while longer, at least that what I'm hoping for. A ladder match is being built here very nicely, if that's in fact what they're building to. The build for the DX/Legacy match is pretty good. Rhodes and DiBiase are getting to really shine and Trips and Shawn are really giving them a proper rub. You can pretty much assure yourself now that both of the Legacy will be moving on to main event status in the next couple years if they take this momentum and run with it. The super Cena shit at the end was weak sauce. Give Cena and the fans a break. Let him make a movie or something. For the love of all things holy..PLEASE! There was some good build tonight, but the show just lacked a proper flow. I literally found myself falling asleep and I was watching it with a 34 ounce coffee in front of me. Not good.

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CHECK THIS OUT! [CHEAP PLUGS]
Things I do while not writing this column.

Add "UPPING THE ANTE" on Myspace!

That's all for this week's column. The topic this week was a bit silly, but it was all in good fun. After last week's 6 hours listening/10 pages writing for the "First Impressions with Primus", I wanted to step back a little and just have some innocent fun. Hopefully, it was at least mildly entertaining for you as it was for me. I'll get back on track with a more "serious" topic next week, I promise. Until then… Have a Great Week!