The Singles Guy 10.05.09: Now On Twitter!
Posted by Jacob Crogie on 10.05.2009
That's right ladies and gentlemen, I have given in to Twitter and am officially a member! This week we get the latest from Alicia Keys & Green Day plus much, much more!
Yours truly has joined the Twitter revolution! Jacob Crogie is officially tweeting up a storm, you can follow me and pick up the latest updates on columns, reviews and general goings on. Enough plugging...let's get to the tunes!
Hot 100
Alicia Keys- "Doesn't Mean Anything"
Everyone get prepared for a good cry, because as usual, Alicia brings the sappy sadness that only a piano driven ballad can. What happened to the semi-dance Alicia of "No One", although that song was also incredibly sappy in its own way at least I could get my groove on to it. It's not as if this song is terrible, in fact, it is quite the opposite. Her musical ability is not in doubt, however, it sounds as if I have already heard this song multiple times. She continues to dwell in cliches and that shows through here, this is basically "If I Ain't Got You" all over again. Musically, the track is solid where Alicia Keys fails is in thematically diversifying herself. For that reason I can't rate this song very highly, it simply feels like a rehash of old cliches put over a pulsing drumbeat and sappy piano music. She can still really belt it out though, I guess that counts for something.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 2/5
Like It? Listen To This: "If I Ain't Got You"- Alicia Keys
Rock
Green Day- "East Jesus Nowhere"
I am a big Green Day fan and caught their concert in Ottawa over the summer. I must admit, it was poorly attended and was full of cheap pops and misplaced anger. How far have these guys fallen? They didn't even play "When I Come Around" at the fucking concert. I may never forgive them for that. Back to this track, which I actually quite enjoy musically and lyrically with some pretty impressive imagery and ominous instrumentation which gives a sense of stumbling toward certain destruction. Billie Joe Armstrong put this track together to take a swing at religion and that was no more evident than at the concert when he pulls up some kid out of the audience and makes a mockery of religious ceremony. This song is phenomenally well composed with some solid tempo changes and breakdowns, however, the theme is one that I cannot support. Why take a swing at organized religion? Aren't you committing the same kind of prejudice that you are accusing organized religion of having? It's hypocritical and frankly, tired.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3/5
Like It? Listen To This: "Holiday"- Green Day
Dance
Lolene- "Sexy People (Static Revenger Club Mix)"
More awesomeness in techno muzak, remember when I said this stuff was my guilty pleasure...well, I wasn't lying. If you have no idea who Lolene is, you are not alone in any way, she doesn't even have her own Wikipedia page, although she has a multitude of tracks on iTunes. The whole theme behind this track is clubbing, picking up etc. which makes it perfect for any party situation. Furthermore the synth is awesome, drawing inspiration from Guetta and Benassi. There is plenty of bass power for those of us who dig the rumble. The hook is phenomenal and almost demands the crowd to sing along. I can see this track take off on the club scene, providing a fourth Number 1 dance track for Static Revenger. The guy sure knows what he's doing.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 4/5
Like It? Listen To This: "Lovegame"- Lady Gaga
Country
Colt Ford ft. John Michael Montgomery- "Ride Through The Country"
Wow. Just wow. Country rap, I can't make this stuff up at all. Furthermore, this guy is a former golfer...SERIOUSLY. It is ironic that the song in this slot last week "That's How Country Boys Roll" is essentially the same thematically. There is something inherently awkward about country rap, although this guy outshines Kid Rock by a country mile. That's not to say that I enjoy this at all, because I don't. I'm sick of cliches, and can't stand songs that simplify country life and make us seem ass backward. We're not and my life is not as simple as this song would like you to believe. Musically, it barely registers as country and JMM doesn't really add too much to this song other than a name in an attempt to sell more records.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 1.5/5
Like It? Listen To This: I have nothing to put here...Comparison wise I'm drawing a blank.
Canadian Content
Three Days Grace- "The Good Life"
Well, the de-ballification of my favorite hard rock band continues. On this excuse for a Three Days Grace song, they seem to be channeling their inner Papa Roach. It's just terrible, attempting to be hard while singing about ridiculously stupid themes. Musically the track is your typical TDG track, albeit lacking the punch of such hits as "Riot" and "Just Like You". It is in the theme that I find myself hating this song, think Nickelback's "Rock Star". Just terrible lyrically, and the second song of their new album that I am indifferent to as a longtime fan of them.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 2.5/5
Like It? Listen To This: "Lifeline"- Papa Roach
The Jacob Crogie Seal of Awesomeness
Lady Bouncer- "Dirty Mary"
Why the hell not. This is the ultimate of guilty pleasures, just listen to the insanely dirty lyrics. I also defy you to stay still while this track is playing. The only place I have ever heard this song is the dirtiest of the dirty...The River Club, Chapeau...Quebec.
I leave you with this, the greatest video ever.
He is my Prime Minister and holy hell can he actually sing!
So that's it for another week, be sure to tune in same time next week when we get all the latest and the greatest plus all the crap that everyone else likes...
