Johnson, Occasionally 10.02.05

Posted by Tim Johnson on 10.02.2005

The Hiatus in Review

Hi, I’m Tim Johnson. You may remember me from such columns as, “The 411 Week in Review” and “411 Movie Roundtable.”

Here’s the deal. A weekly column was way too much work. Every week, I’d scour the internet looking for news, add my own opinion, and rate each story based on the global importance of whatever it is I was commenting about. Now, things are a changing.

For one, I’m going to drop the rating system. What the hell were those ratings supposed to signify anyway? It was an idea that didn’t work, so I’m learning from my mistakes and moving on.

Secondly, I’m going to give up commenting on each and every single zone in the 411 world. I started out doing a few stories in each zone until “politics” became too tedious. So I dumped it and focused my efforts on the other areas. And much like the “Spice Girls” when Ginger left, the product became inferior.

So, rather than release the “411 Week in Review” under the name “411 Forever,” I’m reinventing the whole thing. The new column will now be divided as follows:

1) What’s on my mind

I’ll basically use this portion of the column to comment on whatever the hell I’m thinking about. Be it the global AIDS crisis or the syndication of 90210. I’m going to exploit the freedom I have here at 411 to express my views upon the innocent and unsuspecting. No topic too big, or small.

2) What’s on your mind

Here, I’m going to answer questions and comment on some things my colleagues have to say in their columns. Self explanatory.

3) What I’m listening to right now

Just a quick run down of the list of shit I have on Winamp or Rhapsody at the moment, and why you should or should not check it out. (This is especially pertinent being that my column is posted in the music zone.)

That’s it.

And instead of the grueling deadline of a weekly column, I’ve decided to take it upon myself to do this whenever the hell I feel like it. That’s right, just as HBO has “Costas NOW,” 411mania.com will have “Johnson, Occasionally.”
Now that’s out of the way, let’s get to work.


What’s on my mind

A column on the internet can’t be a column on the internet without mention of the recent tragedies in New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina was the worst thing to happen to the U.S. since 9/11. And once again, through tragedy, came patriotism. Times like these tend to bring out the best in people.

And they also bring out the biggest bunch of scumbags on the face of the planet.

Shortly after Katrina hit, I went to the Red Cross website with the intention of donating 25 bucks. I know that’s not a whole lot of jack, but I figured if a million people donated 25 bucks……well, you do the math.

Then my skeptical side took over.

A good friend of mine, who happens to be a pit boss in a Vegas casino, once said; “Wherever there is money, no matter what it’s for or how righteous the cause is, there is always someone willing to steal it without thinking twice.”

I thought about this as I was about to enter my credit card number and authorize the transaction. How do I know my 25 bucks isn’t actually going to pay a cable bill for some Red Cross worker in California?

It’s sad that I would have those thoughts in times of need and desperation, but that’s what this world has come to. So, I decided I’d wait a couple of days before I pulled the trigger on my donation.

No sooner than I logged off the site, I had 3 emails in my inbox from the Red Cross asking for donations. However, it wasn’t actually the Red Cross. It was some asshole, or group of assholes, sending me an official looking email with a bogus link attempting to steal my money.

Fortunately, it wasn’t my first day on the internet so I saw right through it. But I can’t help to wonder how many old, or naïve people donated their hard earned money to these thieves.

As the days and weeks progressed, several businesses, organizations, civilians, and charities raised money for the hurricane relief effort. The NFL announced they would donate a gracious $1 million toward the effort. (Granted, Maurice Clarett was going to make more than that in one year, after not playing a single down since 2003…. but I digress.)

There were celebrity fundraisers, auctions, benefit concerts, and telethons as far as the eye could see. Millions, hell…..billions of dollars were probably raised.

And what’s become of it? New Orleans is still in bad shape and they’re asking for more money.

Here’s what these charities need to do: TELL US WHAT YOU’VE DONE WITH THE MONEY YOU ALREADY HAVE.

Of all the celebrity fundraisers, auctions, benefit concerts, and telethons, how many have actually shown what the money has been used to purchase? I’m not talking about some generalized bullshit like, “Hurricane Relief Fund.” I’m talking specifics. Like itemized spending, and detailed explanations on supply and demand.

I’m not advising against donating to the Red Cross, or any sort of relief effort for that matter. It’s a noble thing to do. I’m just asking for a little accountability from the people taking my money.

I ended up donating my cash to families of law enforcement officers in the area. It was a direct donation, and I know it’s being put to good use.

What’s on your mind

Being that this is the first edition of “Johnson, Occasionally” I don’t have any emails to respond to. So, I’m going to give you my take on something Jeff Modzelewski commented on in his most recent edition of “Monday Morning Metal.”

The following is cut and pasted from said column:

“It looks like all isn't well in the Anthrax camp, despite persistent reports to the contrary. In his first interview since Anthrax began working on their "reunion" tour with Joey Belladonna, John Bush came out and said that he's not waiting around for Anthrax to come back to him, and he feels that his time with the band may be "over." He brought up a good point that, since the band is going out on tour with Joey and getting fans excited about the old lineup, the fans are gonna want an album that includes Joey on vocals, and Bush isn't going to wait around for them to get that done. This has really put a downer on the reunion. I was excited about the concept of the old Anthrax doing some stuff, but I have to say that, overall, I do prefer John Bush over Joey. I'm sure that there'll be more reports in the near future, and hopefully the band can work out a plan that includes Bush being involved.”

Love the column Jeff, but I categorically disagree.

Belladonna defined the sound of Anthrax. Albums like “Spreading the Disease,” “Among the Living,” and even “State of Euphoria” are better than anything put out in the Bush era. Anthrax really started to lose focus when they started paying attention to what everyone else was doing.

Hell, it actually began in 1990 with “Persistence of Time.” A more honest title would have been, “Anthrax meets Metallica.”

The songs were longer, the instrumentation was more intricate, and the result was a nation of people falling asleep before the CD ended. The album was boring and mostly forgettable.

After the moderate success of, “Attack of the Killer B’s,” Belladonna was out and Bush was in. And over the years, Anthrax pretty much existed only in name. They consisted of a couple of original members creating 90’s metal.

Is John Bush a better vocalist than Joey Belladonna? Absolutely.

But Anthrax is not Anthrax without Joey Belladonna.

In fact, I’m surprised John Bush has stuck around this long. Just like Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer when KISS reunited in 1995, he’s like a fat girl waiting at the door on prom night.

He had to have seen this coming.

If it were up to me, Anthrax would just continue the nostalgia tour. To hell with new material. Recording a new album would just be a cheap excuse to go on the road and play more old classics anyway.

Be all, End all.

What I’m listening to right now

I’m actually playing the Springsteen “Vote for Change” show from Cleveland in 2004 as I type this.

It was part of a series of concerts promoting John Kerry for President. I have an excellent quality bootleg of the show on Winamp, and even though the cause was as successful as Euro-Disney, the music was still great. Fogerty and Michael Stipe appear, amongst others.

I’m also actively listening to an instrumental disc from “Heston Rifle” that will be up on the site for full review soon. Really good stuff!

I’ve got a Barenaked Ladies show from Columbus on rotation in the car right now. Say what you want about the group or their recent material, but they’re one of the best live acts around.

And on the topic of acoustic music, stay away from Alanis Morissette’s new version of “Jagged Little Pill.” What an unnecessary piece of crap. I made the mistake of checking that out on Rhapsody a few days ago. What’s the point of re-recording your best album? It’s like a Hanson “Greatest Hits” compilation. Sure, it can be done……..but why?

Well that’s a wrap.

Thanks for checking out the first edition. I may, or may not be seeing you here soon. Feel free to drop me any comments, questions, or complaints with the link at the bottom of the page.

By the way, I’m going to keep my old “Week in Review” catch phrase.

Don’t know where we’re going; just know where we’ve been.