Wake Up, Time To Rock 11.16.05
Posted by Tollah on 11.16.2005
Or: The column formerly known as "Annals Of The Ayatollah"
Sup T-Fanz. I am in a somber mood today. WWE wrestler Eddie Guerrero passed away this week. That's awful. Eddie was one of a kind. He made lying, cheating and stealing a babyface gimmick. Only Eddie could have pulled that off. He was one of the best in-ring performers ever and had some amazing matches - most notably with Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. His over-the-top Mexican nachos gimmick was hilarious, no matter what people say. What a tragic, untimely death. I am looking forward to watching the Raw and Smackdown tribute shows.
Avril News
As everyone knows, Tollah is madly in love with his beloved future girlfriend, Avril Lavigne. She is the most beautiful girl ever and perfect in every way.
Avril has been nominated for an RMA award in the category Artist of the Year/Adult Hit Radio, competing against 3 Doors Down, Kelly Clarkson, Goo Goo Dolls, Green Day, Maroon 5 and U2.
Credit: avrilbandaids.com
I've never heard of these awards but they sound terrible. Look at all those other bands. They are all, without exception, terrible. Avril should easily win.
Guns N' Roses News
La Voz del Interior On Line has conducted an interview (the original one is in Spanish language) with former Guns N' Roses drummer Steven Adler prior to Adler's appearance in Córdoba, Argentina last week. Several excerpts from the chat follow, according to Blabbermouth.net. (translated from Spanish by Xozy):
On the commonly held perception that he was fired from Guns N' Roses because of a drug problem:
Adler: That was a ridiculous official explanation. They were stupid. They said they fired me because of drugs, but I wasn't experimenting with the hard ones. And if I was doing any drugs, they were as well. So, I think [I was fired because] of monetary issues, which is ridiculous too because we were on our way to making loads of money.
Izzy Stradlin (guitar) was the only one who apologized to me. Anyhow, we were a great team, and I hope one day we can reunite.
On how he remembers the "Appetite for Destruction" times:
I remember it as a great time in my life, even with the bad moments. We made the record in six days, which was pretty [ridiculous considering] the impact it [had after it was released]. Almost everything was done with first and second takes. There are few songs that are the product of a third take. It was all fresh, sponteaneous, furious. It was great. And now that I'm older, all I can do is f--k around with my friends.
Are you in contact with your ex-bandmates?
Yes, with Slash. With Izzy too. I don't see Axl though. I don't see 'Asshole'.
Have you heard Velvet Revolver's album, the new group of Slash and Duff McKagan?
Yeah, but I'm not gonna comment on it because, actually, I would have liked to have participated in that project. I'm hurt. They didnt let me participate on any of the songs. But, yeah, I think it's a fantastic record.
And "Chinese Democracy", the album Axl did with the new version of the band?
Do you know anyone who has heard it?
No.
No one did. I know he recorded a couple of songs [over a period of] several years, until someone from the company came in and thought they sucked. I would say to 'Asshole', 'If we got together again, not only we'd have a great time but we'd also make lots of money'. But the truth is that it's been fifteen years since I last saw him.
Why do you think you have a right to cover Guns N' Roses songs?
Have you read the [songwriting] credits to the songs? I wrote some of them. 99 percent of the music, not the lyrics, was made by all of us. Axl, Izzy, Duff, Slash and me. Although, in the week they wrote 'Use Your Illusion', I could only play one song. I couldn't write anything.
Do you feel you are the Pete Best of Guns N' Roses?
Is that The Beatles drummer who missed everything, right? The difference is that my music, my [contribution can be heard on] 'Appetite for Destruction'. We are connected, in a way, because he was kicked out of the band too. Someone f--ked us up, but I didn't end up that bad. After I got fired, I played with amazing musicians. The only one I really missed was my great buddy Slash.
Your income still comes from Guns N' Roses?
Certainly. I receive 15% of everything 'Appetite for Destruction' generates. Slash, Duff and Izzy get 20% and Axl gets 25%, because he's the one who wrote the lyrics. Fifteen percent of 85 million is a lot of money, dont you think?
Yes, of course.
Well, I live off that.
Credit: ultimate-guitar.com
T-Thoughtz:
- It's amazing to think an album like 'Appetite for Destruction' which was recorded almost 20 years and still sounds so slicky produced and not at all dated today was recorded almost entirely in 1st takes.
- The sulk about not being allowed to play in Velvet Revolver = GOLD!
- I kind of feel sorry for him. He obviously wants to work with the guys from GnR, including Axl, but comes off like a whiney crybaby. I wonder if he has tried to facilitate a reunion.
- 15% of 85 million is $12,750,000. Not too shabby.
A Justin Hawkins Rant
The Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins has sensationally slammed Chris Martin and Bono, saying that the Coldplay frontman should burn in hell and that he hates Bono's egotistical 'holier than thou' attitude.
Asked which star should burn in hell, Hawkins replied, "Chris Martin. What are those seven deadly sins again? Greed? Sloth?
"Calling your child Apple? He's terribly vain. I think he has a narcissism complex. He wants to be Bono, but he bleats in interviews about worrying about being ubiquitous.
"Make your f--king mind up. If you want to be a household name, be a household name."
In the Kerrang! interview, he ranted on: "Writing ‘Fair Trade' on his hand. If you're concerned about Fair Trade, tattoo it on your skin, don't just fucking write it on your hand in felt tip."
Turning his attention to Bono, Hawkins blathered "I hate people being holier than thou. Like Bono getting an audience with the Pope, was all for Bono's ego."
Credit: ultimate-guitar.com
Even you Yanks who don't like The Darkness have to agree with that. Justin Hawkins is the shit.
The T-Reccomended Album of the Week: Wolfmother (Self-titled)
Wow. This came out last week and is already my favourite album of the year, bar none. Imagine the chunky riffs and supernatural lyrics of an early Black Sabbath, the organ-rock of Deep Purple and the easy-to-play guitar of and similar vocals to the White Stripes. Throw in a bit of Beatles and a bit of Hendrix and you have Wolfmother, one of the best new bands on a thriving young Australian music scene.
Singer/guitarist Andrew Stockdale could well be Australia's insane genius of rock music. Donning a Mars Volta-ish afro and a cape in live shows, his wailing and soaring vocals are similar to Jack White's. The album kicks off with the huge proto-metal of 'Colossal' and rocks through a number of consistently great songs including recent single 'Mind's Eye', the hard rocking 'White Unicorn' and the catchy 'Dimension'.
Check out their website, which is probably www.wolfmother.com. You can probably hear samples there.
The T-411: 9/10
The Tollah Toplist
Due to some recent debate in the 411 Forums, this week's list is top piano songs. I was originally gonna just do 10, but god dammit, there's so many great piano tracks that I had to extend it to 20. Good news for you lucky T-Fanz, but more work for me!! Enjoy.
20. Queen - We Are The Champions
Superby uplifting song from Freddie to kick off the list. Brian May's guitar fills are glorious as always.
19. Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday
Great catchy little Beatles-esque tune from the Stones. Incidentally, it beats out Beatles songs like 'Let It Be' and 'Hey Jude', which didn't make the list.
18. Muse - Apocalypse Please
ROMPING start to Muse's Absolution album, with Matt Bellamy thumping the keyboards and screaming for the world to end, or something.
17. Radiohead - Karma Police
Damn cool song with some great nonsensical lyrics and a unique chorus. Easily one of the top 10 songs with the word "karma" in the title.
16. Muse - Space Dementia
Extremely rocking, larger than life piano tune that hits you like a bullet train on the way to HELL stopping at VENUS and JUPITER. Wtf.
15. Meat Loaf - I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Not quite as good as the best songs from the first Bat Out Of Hell album, but still a damn good tune.
14. Bon Jovi - Bed Of Roses
Quite possibly the cheesiest love song of all time. "WITH AN IRON CLAD FIST, I WAKE UP AND FRENCH KISS THE MORNING" - where does Jon Bon Jovi come up with these lyrics? Seriously, what a genius. "AS I DREAM ABOUT MOVIES THEY WON'T MAKE OF ME WHEN I'M DEAD." I have no idea what that means or has to do with the rest of the song, but it sounds cool.
13. Guns N' Roses - November Rain
Axl's Magnum Opus I. Which is weird because the best part of the song is Slash's legendary "standing on top of the piano" solo. Axl had actually been working on this song for around 10 years before it was released on the Use Your Illusion 1 album in 1991. At one point it was apparently 15 minutes long.
12. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
I know what you're thinking. "Wtf, I have never heard of this song." Well go download it, you ignorant fuck.
11. Avril Lavigne - Slipped Away
A beautifully tragic song about Avril coming to terms with the death of her Grandfather. Touching and one of the saddest songs the T-Bomber has ever heard.
10. Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights
Amazing song by a ho with a great voice. Seriously, some bitches have some of the most amazingly unique voices you'll hear, and Kate Bush is one of them.
9. Aerosmith - Dream On
Great out-of-character serious song for the usually balls-out hard rock band Aerosmith.
8. Meat Loaf - Paradise By The Dashboard Light
OMG! If you don't love this song you must be demented. It's just glorious all the way through. The interplay between Meat Loaf and Ellen Foley is amazing. Meat Loaf is all "Yo bitch, just chill, k?".
7. Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil
The Stones' greatest song in this T-Maestro's humble yet incredibly important opinion. Superb lyrics about an autobiographical tongue in cheek look at the life of Satan.
6. Guns N' Roses - Breakdown
Quite possibly GnR's most underrated song and could have easily been released as a single instead of, say, 'Yesterdays' or 'Live And Let Die'. Not much is known about this song and the band didn't play it often live.
5. Bon Jovi - Dry Country
Similarly, this is Bon Jovi's most underrated song. The 9 minute epic from the 'Keep The Faith' album is about the American gold rush or some shit, and how people moved to find gold and get rich and live the American dream, but failed and ended up dying of thirst.
4. Queen - Killer Queen
My favourite Queen tune, this song is about some really posh, rich and powerful woman with arms that can morph into machine guns and eyes that can shoot fire.
3. Bon Jovi - Always
The greatest love song of all time? Well, I'd say it's between 'Always' and 'Sweet Child O' Mine'.. but hell, that's a debate for another Tollah's Toplist.
2. Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
OMG, THIS SONG IS RIP-ROARINGLY GOOD. It goes for almost 10 minute but not a second of it is boring. Chock full of great lines, Jim Steinman is a songwriting genius and Meat Loaf can pull off over-the-top theatrical vocals like no-one else.
1. Guns N' Roses - Estranged
The Greatest Song Ever. Axl's Magnum Opus II. Some day I will write a column about how great this song is. But for now, if you haven't heard it, you must get it.
The T-Interview: Robert Plant
HOLY SHIT! This has to be 411's scoop of the year!! The T-Meister gets to interview former Led Zeppelin frontman and music legend, Robert Plant.
Tollah: OMG! It's been a big year in your solo career with the release of your album 'The Mighty Rearranger' and touring to promote it. How are you feeling?
Robert Plant: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Here begins an account of my day: 'twas a beautiful morn upon the Misty Mountains when an epiphany came to me. I would take a trip to the local village to frolic with well endowed maidens.
T: Then what happened?
R: As I skipped merrily to the village-town, sparrow birds flew around me and a golden deer galloped up alongside. "Where go you?", he asked. "To yonder village" I did reply, and he was satisfied, for he had a thirst for the maidens too.
T: A talking deer?
R: 'Twas then that we were attacked, O yes, it was an ambush! Orcs of Mordor fell upon us in the evil night. I bestrode Golddeer and brandished my sword, Wiltershere. I fell upon the Orcs with the fury of Valhalla. Many foes of man flew from the wrath of the Mighty Rearranger on that day.
T: Sweet. Did you get to nail the hot maidens?
R: Upon arrival in the village-town, the Mighty Rearranger was greeted by King Belvos. He granted to me the pleasure of any virgins of my choice, and I was glad, for my hunger was great! I brought here with me three young Elf-Maidens, and, if you will excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I must now go deliver my Might Penis unto them.
T: Great stuff! Thanks for coming, Robert Plant.
R: Fair ye well, young minstrel.
Plugs
Ian Wright is leaving soon, so catch him while you can.
