411 Music Fact Or Fiction 10.29.09: Michael Jackson, Chris Cornell, Sublime, Lohan, Cosby, GNR!

Posted by Ben Czajkowski on 10.29.2009

Does Lindsay Lohan need help? Will Michael Jackson's This Is It be the best concert film ever? Who will make a better hip hop album: LeVar Burton or Bill Cosby? Is remaking Cornell's Scream into a rock album a good idea? And finally, Guns N Roses doing lullabies? Is it really that bad? 411's Mitch Michaels and Ben Czajkowski debate these topics and more!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to 411Music Fact or Fiction! Another awesome day in the 411Mania Towers. I'm your host, Ben Czajkowski.

This week, I'm up against the editor and my eternal mentor, Mitch Michaels. I've missed playing along, so I figured, why the fuck not? I'm going to answer the questions this week. However, to make it fair, I made the questions before I knew I was going to answer them. Couple of people sucked out on me. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I WILL KILL YOU!

Anyway, you didn't come here for violence. You came here for healthy debate! And opinion! And maybe the pudding that comes with Bill Cosby, but you came here for the goodness, no matter what! And goodness you shall find.

Alright, let's do this!

READY?! FIGHT!!

Round 1

Question: The new Michael Jackson movie is going to be the best concert film ever.

Mitch Michaels: FICTION.

This is a tough one, because the circumstances surrounding it make it very notable.  The fact that Michael's death caused the necessity for the movie and the fact that the show you see never happened, that's extremely interesting.  And to get into the mind of Michael as he prepared for the show (and was reportedly "on his game"), that's also worth a look.  But from a performance stand point? (And that's the criteria I'm using for best concert film) Nah, I gotta pass.  It's just a bunch of people practicing their dancing - how is that aspect supposed to entertain me for two hours?  I think This Is It will be mentioned for decades to come in the "Music Movies" category thanks to the rare glimpse at a late entertainer (and genius in the field), but as far as being actually entertaining and musically notable on a Last Waltz level, I just don't expect it.

Ben Czajkowski: FACT . 

This might be a tough call, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, yeah, it's going to be the greatest and most celebrated concert film ever, even though the London shows never happened. Based on reviews of people that have already seen it and the trailer… The internet is a harsh place, where people are compelled to be honest. The fact that it's getting solid reviews proves my point. It's going to continue to sell tickets; it's going to sell soundtracks; it's going to sell DVDs when it's released. And then 10-15-20 years from now, when it's released in various holographic formats, it's going to sell again. I mean, Jesus, there are 80 hours of footage. A monkey with Adobe Premiere or Windows Movie Maker could splice it together to kick some ass. The sheer emotional association with the legacy of Michael Jackson has transformed him into the God of Pop now, and this movie will probably only do it more justice. Just wait another 6 months for the sequel.

Score Card: 0 for 1

Round 2
Question: You can rework any of Chris Cornell's work you want from Scream and it won't make a difference with how much it sucks.
Mitch Michaels: FACT. I will never understand all of the hatred in the rock community for Scream. Do I like it? Fuck no. But I think the involvement of Timbaland was a bold one by a guy who has never been a by-the-numbers rock star. People who bitched about Scream are the same people who never picked up a Chris Cornell solo album. They're the people who want Soundgarden to reunite. It's not going to happen. As for Scream, I think its major problem was two opposing styles: Cornell wanted to be a rock guy making a modern R&B album and Timbaland wanted to be a beats guy making a rock album. You put them together and it just doesn't work because the vision becomes very middle of the road. To hear Cornell's side of it alone will at least provide us an idea of what he was going for which, by just releasing this un-Timbaland'ed project, we have to figure he didn't quite achieve.	Rock Version ("Never Far Away"):   Scream Version ("Never Far Away"):
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION .  My biggest problem with Scream wasn't with how much it sucked. It had some decent song writing and Cornell delivered vocally, for some of the album. My beef with the hunk of hippo shit was that it was overproduced more than Amy Winehouse's new boobs. Much of the time, Timbaland's beats and electronic layers overpowered and overshadowed Cornell, who should have been the focus, first and foremost. He has one of the most unique voices to hit the mainstream in 30 years; it didn't shine through at all. Yes, it was a bold collaboration and both took A LOT of heat for it; however, if you listen to the rock track included or any acoustic renditions online, you can hear that these songs are better than on Cornell's previous solo effort. So, yeah, reworking these tracks is the way to go, even if the post-production is still a bit overbearing.
Score Card: 0 for 2

Round 3
Question: Sublime should continue to play under that moniker and work things out with Brad Nowell's estate.
Mitch Michaels: FICTION. In a perfect world FACT, but the sad truth is this - how financially viable is Sublime in 2009?  Part of Sublime's success was, like it or not, having a dead frontman.  "What I Got" was awesome - in fact, their entire body of work is full of highlights.  But how many punk/ska bands whose name doesn't rhyme with "Bo Grout" sounded great in the 90's and are doing fuck all today?  If you answered all of them, give yourself a toot on the trombone.  So, sadly, if money comes into this, I don't think Sublime '09 are in any position to make settlements.  Then again, Alice In Chains is riding huge success right now - I could always be wrong.
Ben Czajkowski: FACT .  Nostalgia is HUGE this year, especially with the resurgence of Alice In Chains. The only way Bud Gaugh and Eric Wilson are going to continue to burn it up (drug pun intended) is to play under the name of "Sublime". Fuck pulling a Queen and doing something like Sublime + Ramirez. That's just retarded. What truly cinched the band's claim to fame was Nowell's death, and the band has been somewhat idealized by the fans over the years. I think that the remaining members realize this, and that's why they're going against Nowell's estate wishes and doing live shows. They're a niche band, and they should stick to that. Ramirez…he honestly doesn't sound that bad at all, either. DAMN THE MAN AND PLAY ON!
Score Card: 0 for 3

Round 4
Question: Somebody needs to help Lohan get her shit straight, even if that means breaking the law. She's clearly falling apart. Again. (Read 1) (Read 2)
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. You know what, originally, I was gonna say fact, but fuck her. Plenty of people around her have wanted her to get better for years, but she's never made a serious effort. Let the bitch OD and die so we can make room for the next cracked out child star that can't get out of or enough of the lime light. I wish I could find an ounce of sympathy for her, but I'd rather see her face down in a gutter than Amy Winehouse, and that's sad. Lohan is a Disney abortion that never really got to where she needed to go after her cute stage wore off. Now she's just a strung out party girl with no life in front of her. Get fucking clean, go to school, get a degree, and do an honest day's work.
Mitch Michaels: FICTION.  It's a harsh reality and maybe even cliché, but the only person who can help Lindsay Lohan at this point is herself.  Everyone around her is the definition of hanger-onner and her dad is more concerned with getting his name in the papers than actually getting his daughter straightened out.  Lindsay is perfectly happy with being infamous and looking like a crack whore it seems - and maybe that's facilitated by said hanger-onners.  Lindsay's best bet is to get AWAY from all of these people and work on finding herself again - hopefully she'll find that hot redhead with a nice rack. I miss her.
Score Card: 1 for 4

Round 5
Question: Forget doing a Bill Cosby hip hop album. One from LeVar Burton would be so much better. Imagine the "Reading Rainbow" theme done with some beats from Dr. Dre.
Ben Czajkowski: FACT. LeVar Burton would make a much better hip hop album. Hands down. Go to 1:10 in the video for the money shot. That makes my case for me. And he does it again a moment later.
Mitch Michaels: FACT .  Now that "Reading Rainbow" is canceled and the Star Trek: TNG movies have run their course, LeVar Burton can't have much to do.  Who is more in touch with the youth of America than the guy who told us all to read "Sam The Sea Cow"?  To hell with Dr. Pepper, Dre, it's time to hook up with Kunta motherfucking Kinte!
Score Card: 2 for 5

Round 6
Question: Guns N' Roses tracks on an album of children's lullabies? Still better than anything from Chinese Democracy.
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. I don't even really know where to go with this one. My jaw is still kind of half open, a dumb, blank expression on my face. Yeah, it's not much of a change from how I normally am, but seriously…? GNR doing their songs for babies? Come the fuck on. If there's one person I don't want singing to my newborn, it's fucking Axl Rose. I would take Chinese Democracy over this. Wow.
Mitch Michaels: FICTION .  CHINESE DEMOCRACY IS NOT A BAD ALBUM!  Is it GN'R's best? Nah, but it has its charms. Nothing could have lived up to the hype of something that we heard about for over a decade.  It's the Phantom Menace> of the music world.  As for the lullabies - the Rockabye Baby series has already tapped Led Zep, Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana.  It's only natural they would feel it's time to welcome us to the jungle - even if that jungle contains stuffed giraffes.
Score Card: 3 for 6

Anything you agree with? Disagree with? Sound off in the comment section.

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next week!